does anyone 'change' your name?

[mykidsand_i]

I am heavily involved in the Girl Scout org., but that's besides the point. Three years ago when I started being a leader, the co-leader (who is about 10 years younger than me) wouldn't EVER call me by my real name...lets say my name is Aquilla, she calls me a shortened version of it (which is normal for SOME names, but NOT MINE! I do not have a 'usual' name and mine has NEVER been shortened, nor have I EVER heard it shortened) She *to this day!!!* calls me a shortened version...like Aqui for Aquilla...

I have politely corrected her MANY TIMES and she just refuses to call me the proper name. It's annoying. Well over this last two years, EVERYONE who knows me through the girl scout organization calls me the shortened version. EVERYONE. It's because they've all heard her call me that at meetings. I've politely corrected some people, and people with respect for me have changed, but there are still others that call me by this shortened version.

My husband gets confused when people call for me and they ask for my 'shortened version' name, because it doesn't even sound correct.

I've sent out two e-mails to the people whom I work with in the organization, but it's like people don't even read them, or if they do, I'm not taken seriously.

So, after 2 FULL years of me attempting to get people to call me by my actual name, I'm frustrated. I've been waiting for our leaders meeting to address everyone, but we've not had one since NOVEMBER, which is pathetic, but what ever.

Do you get people calling you a shortened version of your name? How about people with names that are sometimes shortened, but you don't want yours to be? What do you do? Have you corrected people SEVERAL times and still have no luck? I am a respectful person, and this is kind of a stupid thing to get mad about, but I would like to make sure everyone is aware that I HATE it when they shorten my name...what to do so I don't look like a jerk?

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I am heavily involved in the Girl Scout org., but that's besides the point. Three years ago when I started being a leader, the co-leader (who is about 10 years younger than me) wouldn't EVER call me by my real name...lets say my name is Aquilla, she calls me a shortened version of it (which is normal for SOME names, but NOT MINE! I do not have a 'usual' name and mine has NEVER been shortened, nor have I EVER heard it shortened) She *to this day!!!* calls me a shortened version...like Aqui for Aquilla...

I have politely corrected her MANY TIMES and she just refuses to call me the proper name. It's annoying. Well over this last two years, EVERYONE who knows me through the girl scout organization calls me the shortened version. EVERYONE. It's because they've all heard her call me that at meetings. I've politely corrected some people, and people with respect for me have changed, but there are still others that call me by this shortened version.

My husband gets confused when people call for me and they ask for my 'shortened version' name, because it doesn't even sound correct.

I've sent out two e-mails to the people whom I work with in the organization, but it's like people don't even read them, or if they do, I'm not taken seriously.

So, after 2 FULL years of me attempting to get people to call me by my actual name, I'm frustrated. I've been waiting for our leaders meeting to address everyone, but we've not had one since NOVEMBER, which is pathetic, but what ever.

Do you get people calling you a shortened version of your name? How about people with names that are sometimes shortened, but you don't want yours to be? What do you do? Have you corrected people SEVERAL times and still have no luck? I am a respectful person, and this is kind of a stupid thing to get mad about, but I would like to make sure everyone is aware that I HATE it when they shorten my name...what to do so I don't look like a jerk?

There is a current, ongoing thread about this very thing right now.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2456068

General consensus is that it is not only annoying, but exceedingly rude of people to be so arrogant and presumptuous to just change one's name.

 

[NMAmy]

That must be frustrating for you. It's weird that she's just not listening to you. I would suggest a leaders meeting (since I'm guessing after 6 months it's probably time) and address it then. I'd just lay it out that there seems to be a misunderstanding about your name, it's causing confusion, and frankly, it's just disrespectful of everyone to ignore your wishes.

On a lighter note, there's a guy who works in another department who I run into occasionally who always calls me Darleen. My name is Amy. I've corrected him but he always slips back into calling me Darleen. Now, I just answer to Darleen with him which always cracks everyone up in the room.

 

[Gigi22]

Agreed. It is very disrespectful to alter someone's name. This happened to me once, a woman at a local pub called me "Brenda" (not my name) repeatedly, and I very pleasantly corrected her several times. She continued to call me "Brenda", so I worked her name into something I was saying, "Thank you, Sylvia (not her name)." Fixed the problem right away!

 

[MushyMushy]

Agreed. It is very disrespectful to alter someone's name. This happened to me once, a woman at a local pub called me "Brenda" (not my name) repeatedly, and I very pleasantly corrected her several times. She continued to call me "Brenda", so I worked her name into something I was saying, "Thank you, Sylvia (not her name)." Fixed the problem right away!

I was going to suggest this! I can understand a simple mistake, but when a person is corrected numerous times, it gets downright rude.

I was never a big fan of nicknames, but I had a friend whose parents were from India. They couldn't pronounce my name properly and for some reason I was utterly charmed by that and it did become a much loved nickname for me.

 

[Inigo]

DS had a teacher who did this. For example, instead of being "Alex", this teacher might say "Al". DS just started calling the teacher "Billy" as the teacher went by Bill to adults. When the teacher got onto DS for not saying "Mr. Whatsit", my son simply said, you aren't referring to me by my preferred name. Why should I call you by the name you prefer? From that point on, my son was called his preferred name.

DH has a principal now that gets his name wrong. He's worked for (OK, not really since this principal does nothing except sit in his office with the door closed all day while the 3 assistant principals actually do the work) this man for 2 years. I thinks it's a passive-aggressive thing by the principal. He never gets the name wrong for the people who jump when he says jump, but does for those who don't agree with everything he does.

I've told my husband, if it was me, every time I talked to the principal, I'd call him something that rhymes with his name. Instead of "Bill", I'd say "Jill" "Will" "Phil", "Mill" "Sill" and so on. IF the principal every asked me if I called him something besides his name, I'd say, why no. That would be rude to call someone by the incorrect name.

But then again, I'm an evil witch.

BTW. DH did this twice. Now he gets called the right name. (DH has a name that doesn't rhyme with any other name around. It's either right, or it's completely and totally wrong.)

 

[mlenz]

My name is Mellie, and I find people often like to shorten my name to Mel (which I do not care for ) or their are folks who think they've misheard me and call me Nellie or Ellie ,but the worst is this family who has known me since I was born (in fact their daughter and I were roommates) calls me Millie no matter how many times I correct them or how many times they see my name written down they just will never call me but my proper name I have stopped correcting them and when I am around them I am millie

 

[cheerful chickadee]

This happens to me all the time, I truly hate it and find it rude. My name is Patricia, I mainly go by Patty but use Patricia/Tricia too. When meeting new people I introduce myself as Patty but many times -even minutes after introducing myself as Patty-- they will call me Pat. I politely correct them but if it happens repeatedly I usually just ignore them until they say my correct name. 'Pat' is not my name. Rude, rude, rude. Strangers do it too, at the doctor's office the nurse will come out into the waiting room and say "Pat ____?" I always roll my eyes and correct them. What makes strangers think after reading "Patricia _____" on my chart they can automatically just shorten my name to something else?

My MIL doesn't change ny name but she does spell it differently no matter how many times I correct it. I spell it with a 'Y' she spells it Patti, it will never change and I've given up on correcting her.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Years ago a friend started calling me by a nickname, not a shortened version of my name. Slowly but surely it spread, various friends and family will still use it. It's not my favorite, but they think it's cute and don't mean any harm, I know they are speaking to me and I've moved on with my life. Bigger fish to fry.

 

[SunshineOR]

Can I be on the other side of this? I was in a book club with a woman named Susan. My mother's name is Susan and she always went by Sue, so I think it stuck in my head that oh, she has the same name as my mom and that's the trick I used with myself to remember her name. This woman didn't come to book club often and I didn't see her more than maybe three times a year. Then one night, I mistakenly referred to her as "Sue" and she snapped at me and told me she's never been Sue, she hates the name Sue, and would I please not make up nicknames for her and call her by her real name? I was so embarrassed and felt terrible. I suppose you all think I'm a thoughtless jerk, and I'm sorry to all of you. However, her snapping at me made me feel so horrible and embarrassed. I've never been able to be near her since without feeling horrible about it and I've certainly never referred to her by name since because I'm terrified I'll slip up and she'll snap at me again.

I'm not saying it's wrong to want people to get your name right, I'm just saying I've been on the other side and please be nice to the idiots who can't get it right for whatever reason.

 

[Took]

This thread is certainly enlightening. I never considered that folks might hate a shortened version of their name (a "nickname") as I always wanted one! LOL, I don't think I usually call anyone by a nickname (who doesn't have one) and I certainly wouldn't do so if someone corrected me. But, I've always kinda liked shortened names. Unfortunately, I have a "short name" for my real name, so there's really no shortening it....

 

[tommya60]

I have an unusual name, virtually everyone calls me by a shortened version...but I make it very clear that further alterations will not be used. I am very involved in Girl Scouts, and every time I do a training I frankly tell people -- I am (Full name), but I am happy to answer to (prefered nickname). If you call me something else, don't expect me to answer-- it doesn't register that you are talking to me (it really doesn't--there is another extended family member by that name). So it's easier all around to just call me (prefered nickname). It's taken a little time, but everyone calls me by the prefered nickname or my full name. I use a similar version of the same speech at PTA, etc. It might take a while for you to get folks to change, but if it's bothering you give it a try. And stop answering to the wrong name.

 

[starrzone]

Can I be on the other side of this? I was in a book club with a woman named Susan. My mother's name is Susan and she always went by Sue, so I think it stuck in my head that oh, she has the same name as my mom and that's the trick I used with myself to remember her name. This woman didn't come to book club often and I didn't see her more than maybe three times a year. Then one night, I mistakenly referred to her as "Sue" and she snapped at me and told me she's never been Sue, she hates the name Sue, and would I please not make up nicknames for her and call her by her real name? I was so embarrassed and felt terrible. I suppose you all think I'm a thoughtless jerk, and I'm sorry to all of you. However, her snapping at me made me feel so horrible and embarrassed. I've never been able to be near her since without feeling horrible about it and I've certainly never referred to her by name since because I'm terrified I'll slip up and she'll snap at me again.

I'm not saying it's wrong to want people to get your name right, I'm just saying I've been on the other side and please be nice to the idiots who can't get it right for whatever reason.

My father made this mistake once! My mother has both a sister and a good friend named Deborah; my aunt goes by Debbie but the friend HATES being called that. Well, my father called the friend Debbie at a gathering and I guess he was "reprimanded" by her; he still remembers this incident many years later!

 

[mykidsand_i]

And stop answering to the wrong name.

It's funny, because my husband answered the phone last week- and it was my co-leader who calls me this shortened name (it sounds like a slang or even kind of a swear word...it's about 1 letter off!!!), which is why I hate it so much!!!) and she asked for ___________(shortened version of my name)...and he did as he ALWAYS does and said "WHO, you mean ______ (my actual name)" and he does that everytime he answers when she calls.

And my DD8 answered the phone about 2-3 months ago and said "MOM, someone just asked for ______" and i thought that she had just swore, because of the way it sounded coming from her mouth!!! I was horrified!

I've never answered to this shortened version, because it sounds like someone is using a swear word when I hear it. It throws me off EVERY TIME when I realize that someone has just called me it...really odd.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would probably start planting "seeds" with people that you know don't do it to be rude. There is a nice way to go about it. Just pull the person aside, in private and say something like, "I have to tell you, I know you don't mean any harm. I have never gone by that nickname. I don't know how it got started. I want to be called by my name, __________. I have asked a number of people not to call me ________, but for some reason it has caught on. It's just not me. I hope if you hear someone refer to me by the nickname, you could tell them it's not a name I go by. It would help me out a lot.". Something like that.

It couldn't hurt!

 

[tommya60]

Well, it may be time for a very frank conversation--just tell her you don't like the short version, and you will no longer answer to it. Follow through, and do the same thing for every committee/training meeting, etc. You can be nice about it--"I don't know why everyone started calling me XXX, but I really hate it, please call me (full name)". Most people will get a clue.
Tell your DH to just say, there is no one here by that name. And then hang up. She'll get the message.
Occassionally people call and mangle my name so badly that no one recognizes it. We tell them there is no one here by that name, because we just don't know who they are calling. They generally call back and ask for (preferred nick name).
Frankly, my full name isn't that hard, and my preferred nickname is flat easy. Don't make up something else that no one can understand.

 

[Kirby]

I agree with the previous poster. When that person calls on the phone for you by that nickname, then they should be told there is no one there by that name.

When we named our son James, my MIL tried her best to get everyone to call him Jimmy. We refused to call him that and just ignored her when she brought it up. It took two years but she finally gave up.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Now I'm trying to figure out what name sounds like a swear word LOL I agree though...it is rude and I would just tell my husband to say "there's no one by that name here" the next time she calls.

 

[Evi]

people pronounce my name wrong all the time. So much so that I don't even bother to correct them I just say ok and keep going.

 

[Chipperdini]

Somebody changed my name once. Once.