Do you worry that your travel mates will "squash" your planning?

[novafan]

We are taking our kiddos to Disney in September and my MIL and step-FIL are coming along. My MIL is a natural "leader" (as am I) and likes to ALWAYS and ONLY do things her way (needless to say we aren't the best of friends, but I try.) She's a planner, but not the type to plan a detailed itinerary of a Disney trip. Since we (DH and I) decided to take this trip and invited them along, I am making lots of plans, but I worry that she is going to squash my plans. She has her ways. I guess I just need to lay it all out for her before the trip starts so she knows what's going on. I'm not even going "commando style" as some of you guys say (I always laugh at that) and I plan to allow time for everyone to make decisions on what to do next or time alone for MIL and step-FIL, but she is a total control freak and I'm SO nervous that she'll mess up all of my plans.

Anyone else ever dealt with this or worried about the same thing?

 

[jjarman]

I know how you feel. I would love for my brother and SIL to go with us and take their 3 kids. They have never been but DB would get hot and tired and want to leave and SIL would not even make it to the bus to get to the parks before 10:00. If I ever get stupid enough to go with them I will say, okay, here is our plan for tomorrow. I'll meet you at the bus stop at 7:30 to head to MK. Now if you aren't there just meet us for lunch at Liberty Tree Tavern at 11:30. I have priority seating for us. Then I would leave it at that. Now my other brother and his wife would be better because she and I are both obsessive planners. She and I would have each minute of the day mapped out if we could, LOL.

As for your MIL, I would just make your plans and tell her since you have been before you know the ropes and know this is the best way to do Disney. Ask her opinion on one or two things and even bite your tongue and go along with them once and a while. I would not let her take over your trip. She and her husband may just have to do some things on their own at times.

 

[Lisa3]

Your MIL can only mess up your plans if you let her. I would go ahead and plan your trip with your family (even get your kids involved if they are old enough). You could ask your MIL if there is anything special she would like to do or see while you are still in the planning stages. I would then give her a copy on your itinerary and let her choose how much or how little they would like to do all together. You may even be able to suggest a nice dinner alone for the two on them one night (even make PSs for them). It would be a good idea to have some time alone with just your family. I love my parents dearly but we get along much better on vacation when we are not together 24/7!

 

[BostonMouse]

When your MIL contradicts your plans, and she will, your hubby should just stand up and say to them "Fine, why don't you folks go ahead and do that and we'll meet back at the hotel at xx:xx pm"

 

[mat2672]

Not to sound harsh, but if you let someone else ruin YOUR vacation, then thats on you!! You need to be strong and lay things out the way you want to do them. You have to worry about what makes you and the kids happy. If your mother in law doesnt like it, let her sulk. Put it like this. One of you may end up sulking. Why should it be you?? Your mainly there for your kids and to enjoy some quality family time with your immediate family. It will also be easier if your husband knows beforehand that he needs to back you up and not be wishy washy. i know you dont want a war at disney, but your right. Control freaks do need to control every little thing and its up to you to lay the law down. Be nice and listen to her suggestions sincerely, and if you dont agree with her idea's, gently let her know that you and your husband already planned to do it differently. I feel for you. This really should be your husbands job to fend off his mom. im passionate about this subject because I have a mother in law who is very similar and is famous for going out of her way to gum up the works. Her and I dont get along because I dont allow her mess to interfere with anything my family does. If none of this works, just get a stuffed mickey doll and knock her over the head with it!! Be strong!!!

 

[WDWorBUST]

I think the key is for everyone to have realistic expectations. We are going with friends in September and my DH and I have already decided that we will have our plan that I am making to try and include us all - but if they don't wan to that's fine ....if we feel like going along with them GREAT - but if we don't we won't. We have been enough we know the ropes and they will benefit by listening to us but if they don't want to I'm not going to force them to....but I'm not going to change my plans. And we have talked about it A LOT. Good luck!! And have a GREAT trip.

 

[airhead]

My "travel mate" just wants to know what to pack and when do
we go! I love it that way!!!!


CJ

 

[suevee]

A few years ago I planned a trip for 15. Included in the mix were friends, family and lots of children. What I did was to make an itinerary for ME. I made it up just like a brochure. I did make one PS seating each day to include everyone. I then gave the itinerary to everyone. I told them they were more than welcome to join us, but if they wanted to do their own thing, that was perfectly fine! It worked like a charm!

 

[PrincessAurora]

You stated that you and your husband "invited them along". You did this knowing exactly how she is. Ever heard the old adage, you can't teach a pig to whistle? It frustrates you and it annoys the pig. You knew what you were getting into when you booked the trip with them.

This is your husbands mom. Let him run interference for you. If he won't stand up to her then be polite but firm. I agree with BostonMouse and just say "Fine, why don't you folks go ahead and do that and we'll meet back at the hotel at xx:xx pm" Don't fight, don't get upset - remember, they were invited by you - just be polite and go on your merry way.