Do you treat your husband like a child?

[Skywalker]

I don't but boy I know so many women that do. I have a friend that tells her husband what to wear, what he can and cannot eat, if he needs gloves and a hat...whatever. He also has to basically ask her "permission" before he can do anything. For example, I write books for fun and I wrote one on a topic this one guy was interested in. I asked him if he'd like to read it and he replied "I'll ask Diane". And he was serious!

She is the most extreme but I have known other people who seem to treat their husbands like children.

My brother in law told my husband that he is also fed up with his wife and her treating her like a kid he said "I want a wife not another mother."

Why do people do that?

 

[happygirl]

I don't but boy I know so many women that do. I have a friend that tells her husband what to wear, what he can and cannot eat, if he needs gloves and a hat...whatever. He also has to basically ask her "permission" before he can do anything. For example, I write books for fun and I wrote one on a topic this one guy was interested in. I asked him if he'd like to read it and he replied "I'll ask Diane". And he was serious!

She is the most extreme but I have known other people who seem to treat their husbands like children.

My brother in law told my husband that he is also fed up with his wife and her treating her like a kid he said "I want a wife not another mother."

Why do people do that?

I always tell people that my hubby is my third child

 

[catycatcat4]

I'm not married but i have seen people do that not only wifes but i have seen girlfriends act like that at school i think its insane.

I feel bad for the guys that are with the control freak girls/women.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

How about the flipside? Why do the men go along with it? Did it occur to them to sit down and work it out with the spouse?

There is a line you walk with your SO. It is in between they are not mind readers and treating them like children.

Hopefully each party reaches a level of mutual respect helping each other out so you can remained married.

 

[JessicaR]

I try not to and mostly dont. I have two boys and sometimes yes it happens. Apparently he doesnt mind though.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Not in the least.

He sometimes tries to treat me like one, but I don't let him.

 

[Christine]

This is a personality issue within a couple and you can't necessarily blame the woman.

My example is my mom. She pretty much bosses my stepdad around. Now, whether my mom is aware of it or not, she's a pretty domineering and independent person. She doesn't like ANYONE telling her how things are going to be and she likes to be the final word on all decisions. Prior to her marrying my stepfather, she really only liked men that were more subserviant to her. My stepfather is very subserviant and lets her call all the shots. To the point that now that he is older, he can't do much decision making without "asking" my mom. It's ridiculous. This has come back to bite my mom in the butt. Now that she's older, has a busy job, etc, she wants my dad to turn around and make their vacation plans and decide what to do on birthdays and anniversaries. He's really incapable now. She is so frustrated but I told her that she was attracted to a mean who needed to be "kept" and it worked for her for many years. She can't expect him to be all "strong and independent" now.

So, my point to this ramble is that each person in a "couple" seeks out the type of personality that they want. That man that has to "ask Diane" knew this about Diane before he married her and there was something about being told what to do that he liked.

 

[princess momma]

Sometimes I wonder if my husband thinks I'm his second mother. He puts me in that role all the time, but it's most definitely not the way I want it. It's just that somebody has to take the lead and he's perfectly willing to let me. My MIL claims it's because the men in her family are all so easy going.

 

[nutterbutter2010]

I think some/most guys WANT that - its their reason for getting married. They know they are to old to have their actually Mommy be their mommy anymore, so they get a wife to do it.

 

[jamimb]

Sometimes I wonder if my husband thinks I'm his second mother. He puts me in that role all the time, but it's most definitely not the way I want it. It's just that somebody has to take the lead and he's perfectly willing to let me. My MIL claims it's because the men in her family are all so easy going.

This is my family as well. My DH is very very laid back (anything goes) so most of the time I have to take the lead even though I loathe it! It;s caused some major problems on occasion.

You can't blame only the women for that kind of behavior. the husbands let them do it so to me are just as much to blame! I say stand up and be a man for goodness sake!

 

[golfgal]

He acts like one sometimes but I don't treat him like one I have a friend at work who's wife is pretty domineering. It is just easier for him to smile and say "yes honey" then it is to try to buck the system so to speak.

 

[Heather1101]

Only when he acts like one.

 

[mjkacmom]

Sometimes I wonder if my husband thinks I'm his second mother. He puts me in that role all the time, but it's most definitely not the way I want it. It's just that somebody has to take the lead and he's perfectly willing to let me. My MIL claims it's because the men in her family are all so easy going.

This is our relationship, too, and my DH is SO laid back. If I don't remind him it is garbage day, the cans don't go out. He picks up our dd from dance every week - every week he asks "what time." If he happened to be home alone, and the house was a wreck, he'd sit down and watch the soccer channel. I have to give him lists, or else he'd do absolutely nothing. If someone calls me and I'm not home, there is zero chance I'll get the message (I know to ask if someone called). He leaves his shoes in the middle of the floor, and dirty clothes in the bathroom.

He's very bright, most likely ADD, and myself, my parents, and my IL's wonder what would happend to this household if something happened to me. Sometimes I think how nice it would be to have someone else take the reigns for a little while, and tell me what to do, or make a decision.

 

[MiniGirl]

My dh's ex wife used to do this and he hated it. One of several reasons why she is the EX-wife, so no, I do not treat my dh like a child. Then again, he does not act like one either.

 

[bballmom56]

No. I wanted a partner, not a child.

 

[JessicaR]

Laid back husbands seem to be the commonality. Mine is also. I have a much stronger personality. Works for us though. After 20 years we understand each others role in our relationship and neither of us are uncomfortable with it.

 

[Buckalew11]

Nope. Never. He wouldn't stand for it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

No. I have 4 children (soon to be 5). He is my partner. He is their parent. I am not his mother nor do I want to be. That job is filled. I hate when women (or men) treat each other like children. I think it is so disrespectful.

 

[clovergirl5]

He sometimes says I do, but I feel he treats me like a child, usually about spending $. I often say, "you are not my father"

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Absolutely not.

I grew up in an Italian family where my father worked very hard at his job, and was Mr Fixit around the house. But when it came to basic things...like cooking, laundry, choosing clothes, packing a suitcase...he wouldn't know what to do without my mother. (If mom had died before him, I don't know how long he would have survived.)

Almost 31 years ago, I met my DH. I knew he was independent from the start. And then I began going to his parents' house for Sunday dinner...his father would be in the kitchen cooking, and his mother would be in the den, feet up on the hassock, reading the Sunday paper. I knew this was the family for me. In the 31 years we've been together, I don't think I've ever tasted my MIL's cooking. FIL made all the holiday dinners, baked cookies at Christmas, etc. DH does the holiday cooking too, and often the weekend cooking, esp in the winter when he's watching football.

DH buys his own clothes (I doubt my father EVER did); there was a spiffy new shirt in the closet the other day, and I yelled down to him..."Nice shirt. Are you having an affair?" He said "No...colored underwear means an affair."