eliza61
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2003
- Messages
- 21,023
I am kind of confused because I don't think I ever said I am going to cut her out of my life, did I? She is my niece and if she ever really needed me, I would be there.
What I am talking about is what my mom believes to be true. She thinks that I am a ***** because I don't ask her about her pregnancy. I don't get all excited about it and gush over her. I don't buy her gifts for the baby and celebrate it. My mom thinks that I should be doing that. I should be OK that she wants to be a SAHM even though she cannot afford it. She thinks that I should be OK with her taking Govt. money that I go to work to pay for. I am torked off about it! I have a 4 month old that my mom never offers to babysit just because. "You don't need it like she does, you have a husband" is what she says when I ask her about watching nieces son. I said that I did not support her. I never said I would cut her out of my life.
Hopefully that helps clear up what I mean by "support".
Kristine
There is an old saying "You can enforce morality". We've been trying to do it since the Puritans stepped off the boat. Obviously your mother sees it as 2 different situations. I get that from my mom also the "you don't need to work because you have a husband" song and dance. She's not going to change. As far as not celebrating the baby, I think you're punishing the kid for the stupidity of it's parents. So I guess you'll never wish the kid happy birthday or buy it a Christmas gift because that would be "supporting" it?
One this I'm with your mom, asking about some one's health could be as simple as "how are you feeling"? If any thing no matter how I felt about her life decisions I would want her and the baby to be healthy.
Maybe I'm misreading it but it seems you are saying that if you in any way help her, be nice to her or the baby, you are some how supporting her life style?
Sorry I think you are usuing your morality as a weapon to punish and berate. If you don't want any thing to do with her, why not just cut her out of your life. that at least would seem more open and honest.
As one who has her share of shall I say "deadbeats" in her immediate family, I think you're battling a lost cause. I don't think any thing you say or do will make these folks grow up and turn into model citizens before they want to