Do you think that it is acceptable for a teacher to call a pupil names!

[snookhams]

Let me set the scene my 14yr old DS is 6'3" (school year 9) and stands head and shoulders above all the other pupils in his year, so obviously he is sensative regarding his height. Yesterday during Basketball club, the head of the PE department arrived to give his imput (normally the class is taken by another teacher, who was still taking the class but the HOD came along as wel) and proceeded to instruct the pupils by shouting at them during a game they were playing - he shouted at my son no by name but called him 'Beanpole' - now it might have been done light heartedly (but I don't believe that it was- as I had a discussion with him at options evening last week, and he told me that DS would not pass GCSE as he had no co-ordination - this is a child who is a national swimmer!) My son did not say anything to him but he was quite upset about this last night and during our discussion it transpired that this is not the first time that this teacher has called him this.

Am I the only one that thinks this is unacceptable - Sorry for the vent, but I am really cross about this and have tried to speak to the teacher concerned this morning but he was Busy when I phoned so have left my number and asked for him to contact me - let's see if he does

 

[disneyholic family]

you're right....
but i doubt it would be a good idea to say something to the teacher, since he sounds like someone who will just get angry and take it out even more on your son..

i suppose the thing to do is to try to toughen up your son against things like that...
in any case, it's spectacular to be tall...sure he might be skinny now, but he'll fill out as he gets older...right now his body probably is just having trouble keeping up with the growth....my husband wasn't even permitted to take part in sports at that age, because he was growing so fast he couldn't eat enough to keep up (he's 6' 7" now)....my son is also very tall.....

it's much better to be tall than short in this world...many studies have shown that people tend to respect tall people more than short ones....maybe because they're always looking up at them....

but to answer your question, yes the teacher is an idiot...and it is completely improper....but i don't know what you can do about it....before you do anything, you should ask your son if he wants you to...because he may well not want you to do anything...

 

[Madjock]

If it is in any way upsetting or affecting your child then no it's totally unacceptable. I would have a quiet word with the teacher and ask him to stop, explaining why and also asking him not to make an issue out of it. If that doesn't work I would then go speak with the head teacher.

Hope you get it sorted.

I would also add that yes we should teach our kids to toughen up and as I tell my DDs Sticks and stones, etc., etc., but at that age they are particularly sensitive and as a teacher they really should know better.

 

[JohnnySharp2]

Totally unacceptable and I think you should have a word, this shows a total lack of respect from someone in a position of authority.

 

[carolfoy]

I agree with Johnny, in this day and age when 'bullying' is such an issue you should have a word - I'm not saying this is bullying but it certainly seems to put the stamp on the fact that name calling is ok for others in his class. Also what would he say to the short, fat unathletic kid? I shudder to think.

 

[wilma-bride]

Without a doubt, this is unacceptable behaviour from someone who is in a position of authority (whether said jokingly or not). I am actually appalled that teachers in this day and age would do such a thing - certainly, when I was at school it was not unheard of for teachers to single out a particular child (not that it should have been 'acceptable' then).

In the current climate of bullying etc. I believe that teachers should be setting a good example. In my view, all this teacher has done is demonstrated to the rest of your son's class that it is OK to call the kids names. Not good. I would not even bother having a word with the teacher in question, I would either go straight to the Head of Year or Head Teacher and make it clear that, although your son has not taken it personally, you do not want a repeat performance.

 

[Minniespal]

IMHO I don' think it is acceptable for ANYONE to call someone names. Certainly not someone who is in a position of authority.

 

[disneyholic family]

did your son ask you to do something about it?

i ask this, because when my son had problems with a particular teacher, i wanted to speak to her about it, but my son told me not to.......

 

[wilki32]

Another here who thinks it's totally unacceptable.
But I do have to say that this is a form of bullying, you cannot call students names. If the other students see this then what will they do? Follow by the example set!
Teachers are there to set an example, to bring our children into adulthood and if they think name calling is acceptable they will take it into their adult life.
My daughter was called a name by a certain boy in her class, I actually s******ed when DW told me but when she was coming home from school every day crying we had to do something about it.
I think you should have a word with him but face to face, always better to see the whites of their eyes.
Good luck.

 

[SEVANS2208]

I think you should have a word with the school, but only if that's what your son wants. My 11 year old daughter is 5ft 5 (tall for her age) and we've been known to call her a beanpole from time to time but in a light hearted way and she certainly doesn't take offence - she loves the fact that she's tall because she can buy adult clothes (my purse doesn't like it though!). However, if a teacher said that to her I would probably take offence as well but I would only do something if it had really upset her and wasn't just a case of it being a teacher that she didn't like.

Now, don't flame me for this but I have to make a comment about the co-ordination issue - my DD also swims (must be the tall skinny ones!!) but she does lack co-ordination in other physical activities. This too has been picked up by her PE teachers, initially I thought they were exaggerating just because she doesn't enjoy team games but I went to watch her play netball once and they're quite right; her hand-eye co-ordination is especially bad so just because she's good at swimming and running doesn't mean she's co-ordinated (apart from her dress sense ).

Anyway - back to your main issue. You're right to be upset and you should take action if your son was genuinley insulted by the comment and wants you to get involved. Even if he doesn't want you to get involved, it's worth keeping an eye on it as best you can.

 

[floridalol]

I hate bullying with a passion. However I'm not sure this could be construed as bullying. Is your son the only boy to have a nickname given to him? If he is then I think this is unacceptable but if others are also given nicknames, as long as they are not offensive, then the teacher may be trying to build a sporting banter atmosphere that all successful teams have. "Beanpole" is pretty mild in the context of things and your son will need to be prepared for life when he leaves school where probably he will face things a lot worse than this. If he is the only one the teacher calls by a nickname then I think that your son should have a word with the teacher himself on his own and say words to the effect: Hey, I don't mind being called "Beanpole" as long as you give some others some nicknames, otherwise please call me by my proper name." I was singled out at school by my woodwork teacher and with my father's advice I did just this and it had the desired effect and it also gave me lots of confidence in dealing with things later on in life. Good luck to your son and I hope we see him swimming for Britain in the 2012 olympics.

 

[mandymouse]

I agree that it is unacceptable whether it was light hearted or not. But first I would speak to my child to see if they wanted anything done about it, as I know that children don't want their parents to go wading in and making things worse. If they didn't want anything done, then make an agreement that you will let this go on this occassion, but if it happens again, then you will have a quiet word with the teacher concerned

Keep us informed of what you decide to do

 

[wideeyes]

No way is that acceptable. As for the comment about not passing GCSE due to lack of co-ordination that too is wrong. It is a teachers job to bring out the best in their pupils, by making negative comments about their ability in subjects can damage their confidence and this can also have an effect on the performance of the pupil. They may think "why even try". If i was you i would make a complaint to the school.

Also when i was at school you did not need to be good at every sport to pass GCSE P.E.

 

[Cyrano]

As others have said if son is okay with this I'd have quiet word with teacher.
If you feel this does not go well, then talk to the Head Teacher/Principal as they are ultimately responsible for the behaviour in their school.

 

[snookhams]

Thank you all so much for your kind words etc. I havecalmed down alot from this morning - I have left a message on the teachers voicemail asking for him to phone me. My son wants me to raise this with the teacher as he is concerned that the other students will pick up on it and it will esculate, which is what happened at primary school where a teacher took an instant dislike to him (all we can think of is because he was clever, this was reception and he could read, write and do basic maths) and the kids picked up on it and he suffered for years - yes she was disciplined and I was told that she would never be allowed to teach another one of my children ( this was the headmaster's decision - well he left and guess who taught my youngest son!!! - i digress).

I agree that his height will cause him problems all his life, but I still think that a teacher should set good not bad examples!!! If and when he phones me back

 

[Englands Disney Gang]

As most of you know I work in a school and can confirm that calling pupils a name in reference to their appearence is not in the 'Teachers Handbook' I would have a word with the teacher (a phone call is best) if your son agrees. It may have been said in humour but unless that teacher knows your son was offended he wont know not to do it again!!

I am also having a problem with a teacher in my sons school...he is 13 and his geography teacher seems to dislike him. He is working well in all other classes and has no behaviour problems. This geography teacher has never put one positive remark in his book (not even a tick) and that includes the whole of last year....yesterday he said my son had the same brain cells as a Circus Monkey and said from now on he expected him to do his homework at lunchtime in the classroom....yep I have booked ANOTHER appointment to see the head!!

 

[Frances999]

Totally unprofessional. If a comment like that was made to any of my children I would be in school and speaking with the headteacher immediately. I hope you get a constructive apology.

 

[leise]

Snookhams I think you are doing the right thing having a quiet word with the teacher if your son is happy about that. I would also make it clear to your son that name calling like that is not acceptable behaviour, even when done by a teacher.
I would say to the teacher I would be unhappy if my son were to call people names based on their appearance like that and the teacher should be setting an example.
Hope he calls you back

England's Disney Gang, good luck with the Head too, that teacher sounds like a real charmer!

 

[snookhams]

I waited for DS to get home from school this afternoon, and asked him if any of the other boys were called names during the session, and they weren't (just called by their surnames). So I phoned the school for the third time today and finally got to speak to the teacher involved, he apologised for not phoning me back but he had been teaching all day - I said that my husband and I were concerned about a conversation we had had with DS yesterday in which he mentioned that he had been called a 'beanpole' on more than one occasion during the session, and that this was not the first time he had called him it - well he started squirming at the end of the phone - ummming and urgghing, but I am so proud of myself that I managed to keep my cool - and I explained to him that DS was a little self conscious about his height and that I felt this would not help, especially if the other boys picked up on it. He apologised numerous times and said that he was glad that I had spoken directly to him and he would take it on board.
I have told DS should the teacher do this again he is to ask him politely not to call him that but by him name either first or second, and then when he returns home to let me know and I will deal with it - the next time via the head! - oh and by the way this is a Church of England School that he attends!!!!

 

[wils]

Glad it appears to be sorted now Snookhams - quite ridiculous behaviour

Hope you manage to get a result too Jane