Do you think suicide is a selfish act?

[disykat]

Yes, incredibily selfish. That doesn't mean they are INTENTIONALLY being selfish though. They are only thinking of themselves and their own misery - I don't know how that can be seen as not selfish.

IMO, very few people who are selfish are intentionally so. That doesn't mean they're not selfish.

 

[penguin087]

Outwardly selfish yes but depression and mental illness come into play. A lot of people who commit suicide honestly in their hearts and heads think they are so horrible and unlovable that they are doing their loved ones a favor. To them it is a selfless act. I imagine its rare for someone in thier right mind to commit suicide.

 

[turkeymama]

Yes, incredibily selfish. That doesn't mean they are INTENTIONALLY being selfish though. They are only thinking of themselves and their own misery - I don't know how that can be seen as not selfish.

IMO, very few people who are selfish are intentionally so. That doesn't mean they're not selfish.

I think this sums it up quite well.

 

[aristocatz]

I think sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

Intent is the difference.

As a nurse, I have cared for many people who attempted suicide.

Some attempted as an attention-seeking behavior, the classic "my girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with me. I'll show her/him". They do something to attempt suicide, maybe not really meaning to, but they die anyway because they don't get "found" in time. Selfish.

Then there are the truly depressed, for whom life holds no happiness whatsoever. I don't think they see themselves as being selfish. I think they see themselves as doing everyone a favor. For those people, I'm not sure it's selfish and I always have very mixed emptions about forcing someone to stay alive who has never had a happy day in their life and there are people who are like that. It is unutterably sad.

ITA with what you said. The people you mentioned in your second paragraph-many of them feel they are being selfish by staying alive. It can be exhausting & mentally frustrating to care for someone who is depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts. Many of the suicidal people are thinking "If I die, my loved ones wouldn't have to worry so much about me."

I am also very pro-assisted suicide for those who are terminally ill or in terminal physical pain. I think Dr. Cavorkian (sp?) was doing a good thing. I think it is very selfish to expect a loved one to live the next 20 years in physical anguish and suffering (if they have a medical illness that causes such) just for the sake of keeping them alive. If that were me-I would think it's my body & my choice & I shouldn't have to live that way if I didn't want to.

JMO.

 

[luv2laugh]

I don't think it's selfish if the person does it to end their suffering. Depression is a serious condition and those who have it need help. They don't see any other way out - I don't think they're intentionally trying to hurt those around them.

Now, the people who jump off an overpass onto the freeway, for example... ! The people in the car who hit them will never be the same! UGH! That's a selfish act!

 

[Tink888]

I think that's a really hard question to answer. Just by definition, yes suicide is selfish.....a person is essentially putting their own needs and wants before anyone else's. But I also think that for someone who is truly despondent, truly unhappy, who feels like there's no other alternative, expecting them to stay alive and suffer for the sake of someone else's feelings is a kind of cruelness and torture in it's own way if that makes sense.

It's just sad all around. Sad for the person who saw no other way out of however badly they were feeling and so sad for the ones left behind because I don't think, for the loved ones left, they ever truly recover from the damage that's done when a suicide occurs.

 

[ameraumi]

But it is not always about depression. What about those who have a fatal illness and tired of fighting? I don't think they are being selfish for wanting to end the pain they are in.

In some cases, yes they are selfish. But it is not always a cut & dry answer.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Suicide is an act that is centered on the self. To call it something other than that is to expose one's lack of understanding of the complexities of the situations that lead to or promote suicide.

Suicide as a hopeless act of desperation is usually, but not always a product of mental illness. Suicide, as an act borne out of a terminal illness and the desire to be rid of the pain of the illness, or to not prolong the inevitable, to not subject one's family to more of the devastation of the terminal illness...all mitigating factors that are based on self, but can be seen as selfless.

Nattering on about suicide when one knows so little about it regardless of whether one is "a nurse" or other health professional, or not is irresponsible. No one here knows if someone who is suicidal is reading this. Your words may be the final straw for someone. Just because someone is of the medical profession does not make them compassionate, or an authority on all matters of physiology or psychology.

When expounding on one's opinion in a public forum, it's probably better to err on the side of caution instead of spewing one's words that can end up being extremely hurtful to someone.

Unless of course, that is your intent.

 

[Buckalew11]

But it is not always about depression. What about those who have a fatal illness and tired of fighting? I don't think they are being selfish for wanting to end the pain they are in.

In some cases, yes they are selfish. But it is not always a cut & dry answer.

I see what you are saying. I remember when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer the doctor explained to him what would most likely happen as the cancer progressed. I remember my dad saying that he'd take matters into
his own hands before it got that bad.

Of course, by the time he was that bad off, he was too sick and weak to really do anything to himself. It stayed in the back of my mind though that the thought had crossed his mind. The man across the street from them in the campground when they were still RVing killed himself before the cancer could get him. He was a veternarian and had the drugs to easily do it.

I don't think I could have blamed my dad if he had committed suicide but I'm glad he didn't. I spent a lot of precious time with him esp. during the end days. We had good talks and heart to hearts. I probably would have felt like all that had been robbed from me and our family if he'd have taken things into his own hands.

 

[barkley]

Outwardly selfish yes but depression and mental illness come into play. A lot of people who commit suicide honestly in their hearts and heads think they are so horrible and unlovable that they are doing their loved ones a favor. To them it is a selfless act. I imagine its rare for someone in thier right mind to commit suicide.

i know of someone who was in their "right mind", well as right minded as a 16 year old can be. he was a kid who saw what happened when 2 other teen suicides occured in the town he lived in (and those were linked to definate depression and mental issues) and how they were front page news with memorial plaques put up at the highschool, pages devoted in the yearbooks, the deceased becoming the main topic of discussion among all the kids, the media covering the funerals-and he made the decision that he was going to do the same but to a higher degree. actualy convinced his girlfriend to join in a suicide pact (he convinced her that THEIR deaths would be held in higher regard because of the "romeo and juliet angle"). fortunatly her parents got to her in time. he on the other hand killed himself in the middle of the most popular teen hangout (restaurant) in that little town (it was later learned he planned it that way because he thought it would become some kind of informal "shrine" to him).

totaly selfish act that devistated his parents, devastated the husband and wife owners of the restaurant that witnessed him shoot himself, compounded the grief of the families and friends of the young people who had just recently passed. he knew exactly the devastating effect suicide had on those left behind and he was counting on that to somehow play into making himself a local "celebrity".

 

[mumom95]

Not selfish, just not thinking clearly. Selfish has to have an intent. I don't feel a suicidal person has the INTENT of hurting others by their action.

I completely agree with this.

I think a person who would intentionally want to hurt someone else, is way too selfish to attempt suicide. A truly suicidal person must be overcome with so much grief for whatever reason, that they are not thinking rationally.

 

[Cindy F]

Many people who attempt suicide honestly, truly believe everyone around them would be better off if they were gone.

Others feel their situation is hopeless and that they are helpless to do anything to about it. It doesn't matter that others do not see that as true, it is their reality. There is a way out from the emotional pain other than suicide, they just can't see it. My heart aches for them.

**If you or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.**

 

[tazdev3225]

I don't think anyone who has never been there can begin to understand what drives someone to a life-ending act. Depression can eat at your very soul and leave you feeling that there is no hope left. It is a darkness that swallows you alive. It is "selfish" in that the person cannot see through their pain, but I do not think you can call it a selfish act. The person who contemplates suicide just wants to end the overwhelming pain.

 

[Dismom+two]

I had to vote NO only because I feel that if someone can take their own life, they are not well. Anyone in their right mind I don't believe can kill themselves. I don't think they are selfish...they are sick and they probably think that by removing themselves the people that love them would be better off.

 

[MossMan]

I think that intent is important. Does the suicidal person mean to be selfish? Or are they so despondent and in so much distress that they are not thinking clearly? I tend to believe the latter. Many depressed people just aren't thinking clearly IMO.

The intent may not stem from selfishness. And clearly most who consider suicide are at a point where they are virtually unable to consider the impact their death will have on the people around them.

But lack of intent does not mean the impact is any less selfish. For those of us who have lived through the suicide of an immediate family member, suicide is a death that rips through the lives of everyone around them. When you combine the guilt and recriminations that comes with suicide along with the grief any death brings, you end up with a toxic brew that can poison the life of everyone left behind.

It's been 25 years since this happened to me and it took me forever to get over the guilt. It wasn't my fault my brother took his life. I love him and I don't blame him. But ultimately it was his decision. I believe if he knew even for a moment the impact his decision would have on the rest of my family, he would have pulled back. He may have been suicidal, but the capacity to love and be loved was still alive within him.

 

[aristocatz]

Now, the people who jump off an overpass onto the freeway, for example... ! The people in the car who hit them will never be the same! UGH! That's a selfish act!

This I agree with as well

 

[DawnCt1]

...after reading the other thread on the "suicide jumper being pushed", with much disgust at some of the replies I might add, I wondered how many of you feel this act is selfish too?

so restore my faith in human nature please. Obviously, I don't think its selfish, not at all.

I do think it is selfish because there is no consideration or reguard for those left behind. Can you imagine how a young child would feel; that he was so 'bad' that his parent would rather die than be with him. Sound far fetched? Not really. That is how many children feel when a parent commits suicide. The guilt that the family is left with must be awful. Suicide is the ultimate murder; anger turned inward. It is an aggressive act leaving lots of victim in its wake.

 

[tinah159]

No, It is a mental illness

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I don't think we can ever know. It's easy to say that they are not thinking of their loved ones, but many people truly feel their loved ones will be better off without them.

To even contemplate suicide there is some very serious mental illness. Sadly, in our society, there is still not much understanding for mental illness. In some cases it can be based on circumstances most people will never know about- past abuse that has been kept bottled up, feelings of worthlesness, etc. Other times it is strictly biological. Nobody can pinpoint an environmental trigger, but somehow the chemical make up of the brain has become imbalanced in some way. Instead of understanding, a lot of people with mental illness (particularly depression) will hear comments like, "What on Earth do you have to be depressed about? Your life is perfect."

My mom has clinical depression and at one point considered suicide. She actually was going to drive to Colorado to do it (she lived in Missouri) but thankfully it's not an impulse you can keep up for an extended time like that. She realized what she was doing and turned around in Kansas. That was when she knew she needed help. It was a long road, but they discovered a chemical imbalance in her brain and now she has the treatment she needs. I'm thankful she was able to get the help she needed, for so many people, money, the stigma of mental illness, denial, etc. keep them from getting the help they need.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

I would vote no depending on the situation. I recently read the biography on Eva Braun (Hitler's mistress). Hitler and Eva killed themselves together. Hitler was selfish when he committed suicide because he didn't want to face retribution from the victors. Eva's was selfless because she didn't want to face life without Hitler.