Do you think suicide is a selfish act?

[DawnCt1]

I would vote no depending on the situation. I recently read the biography on Eva Braun (Hitler's mistress). Hitler and Eva killed themselves together. Hitler was selfish when he committed suicide because he didn't want to face retribution from the victors. Eva's was selfless because she didn't want to face life without Hitler.

I wouldn't say either of those two individuals are "typical" of those who commit suicide.

 

[CajunDixie]

I chose other answer as one answer isn't right for all people. I think it's not selfish when the person is emotionally stressed and feels they have no where to go. I also feel it's not selfish if the person has a painful terminal illness.

But I do think it's selfish when they choose suicide over court/jail time for crimes they have committed. And when they "take someone with them" as in the murder/suicides. Granted the question wasn't specifically about murder/suicides but take away the murder and you still have a suicide that I feel is very selfish. The stupidiest ones are the people that kill ex or soon to be ex spouses and their children because they feel if they can't have them then no one can.

As for the post that inspired the thread I admit I chuckled when I read the article. There you had a selfish person that had 2 roads and sidewalks closed and who knows how many emergency personnel surrounding the area. The jumper didn't die even though he was pushed so yeah I chuckled.

 

[starann]

I think this issue, as well as many others, are not black and white. There are many reason why a person attempts suicide.

My SIL attempted more times than I care to remember, but would always call someone who would call the police and they would take her to the hospital. She 'attempted' for attention (ironicly she died suddendly from an unknown cause....my in laws refused an autopsy.....so in the end she got all the attention she was looking for, she just wasn't around the 'enjoy' it...before I get flammed, she had mental health issues she refused to get treatment for)

In her case she was being selfish, because she felt she wasn't getting enough attention.


There are many others who just want to end their pain (like a local mother who after losing her new baby killed herself as her pain was too great).


Again Grey area

 

[java]

I know 2 different incidents were it goes both ways.

First one was a teen when I was younger. He just couldn't take the pressure of school and fitting in. He was just your average teen. Had friends. Not picked on. Just a regular guy. But not inside. He shot himself. Was he selfish- no not in my book. He was ill. To feel so lost inside he clearly wasn't thinking. So how could that be selfish?

Another was a mother. My friends mother (an adult friend) he tells the story like it was yesterday. He found her when he was 12 years old. In the bathtub. No child should have to go through that. To me that was selfish. However I also believe she was ill as well. But if I had to pick one- I would say selfish

 

[pearlieq]

Sometimes, not always. It depends on the situation.

I've thought about this a lot lately since my mother is terminally ill. She's basically enduring the nightmare scenario--a long, agonizing death. In her case, I suppose suicide would be selfish, in that it would primarily be intended to benefit her in ending her suffering, but I could never fault her for it. I don't know what I would do in her situation, and I pray I never find out.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I know what my Faith tells me. Still, knowing the staggering pain child abuse can inflict (a pretty common cause although not necessarily from parents) and the helplessness and defenselessness the victims suffer their whole lives through... I gotta say I feel deep down there's a whole lot of gray there. Then there is illness as a reason, and that must be terrible. When I hear about it, I pray the person's soul finds more peace in his/her afterlife than they did on this planet. Of course, I feel horrible for the family left behind, and in that sense it may be selfish, but since I've never walked in anyone's shoes but my own how can I judge?

 

[goofyernmost]

I voted yes. You want to end your suffering but do not consider all those left behind that will have to deal with your loss and all the "what ifs" that they have.

Suicide needs to be taken seriously as it is a cry for help.

No...Attempted suicide is a cry for help. Real suicide is too late. Suicide by it's very nature is selfish. On the plus side it is the last selfish act that the particular individual will have the opportunity to do.

Suicide is the last desperate act of a deeply troubled and pained person. The only way out is to end it. No thought would ever be given to what others might feel because the assumption is made that they will not be missed and that the people around them will be happy that they are gone. Suicide is the act of a very lonely person.

Those that might feel that this "will show them", has lost all touch with reality so reasoning is not possible.

 

[Disney Doll]

Suicide is an act that is centered on the self. To call it something other than that is to expose one's lack of understanding of the complexities of the situations that lead to or promote suicide.

Suicide as a hopeless act of desperation is usually, but not always a product of mental illness. Suicide, as an act borne out of a terminal illness and the desire to be rid of the pain of the illness, or to not prolong the inevitable, to not subject one's family to more of the devastation of the terminal illness...all mitigating factors that are based on self, but can be seen as selfless.

Nattering on about suicide when one knows so little about it regardless of whether one is "a nurse" or other health professional, or not is irresponsible. No one here knows if someone who is suicidal is reading this. Your words may be the final straw for someone. Just because someone is of the medical profession does not make them compassionate, or an authority on all matters of physiology or psychology.

When expounding on one's opinion in a public forum, it's probably better to err on the side of caution instead of spewing one's words that can end up being extremely hurtful to someone.

Unless of course, that is your intent.

Well, since you put "nurse" in quotations, I'll assume your reference was to me.

My intent is not to hurt anyone. My intent was to impart my opinion, on an Internet message board.

What your intent was by this exceptionally nasty post, I have no idea, nor do I particularly care, to be honest.

Do yourself a favor though...remember that on an Internet message board, just because someone chooses to only share one portion of themselves (ie-nurse) in an answer to a question, doesn't mean that there's not a whole lot more to that person which may give them a lot of background to answer a question.

 

[Disney Doll]

Sometimes, not always. It depends on the situation.

I've thought about this a lot lately since my mother is terminally ill. She's basically enduring the nightmare scenario--a long, agonizing death. In her case, I suppose suicide would be selfish, in that it would primarily be intended to benefit her in ending her suffering, but I could never fault her for it. I don't know what I would do in her situation, and I pray I never find out.

Actually, in her case I could see it more as being maybe partially selfish (wanting to end her suffering) and partly not (wanting to not put her fmaily through watching her suffer).

Truthfully, the suicides of terminally ill people I have known (and there have been a few) bother me less because I can understand them not wanting to go through what they know they will be going through.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Well, since you put "nurse" in quotations, I'll assume your reference was to me.

Assumptions are dangerous things. You couldn't be more wrong.

 

[Darsa]

Shortly after my 18 month old niece was killed in a car accident, I had to work for days to talk her mother out of killing herself, and one of the things that I mentioned to her was how selfish an act that would be, considering everyone in the family was already grieving for her daughter, and then they would have to ALSO grieve for her. She hated me for that at the time... but later (many months later) the subject came up again, and she couldn't thank me enough for pointing out to her what she came to realize was the ultimate selfishness; making everyone else hurt MORE just to try to end your own pain.

I feel terrible, sometimes, about my gut-feelings when it comes to suicide, but I can't really help but feel that it's ultimately a selfish act. Please do not read this as disdain for anyone who may have mental or depression issues, that is just not the case. I cannot help how I feel, and nothing will change that. It doesn't mean that I go around and tell everyone that they're full of crap and to snap out of it and all that; by NO means do I do that. This is just how I feel about suicide, myself. If others feel differently, well then that's their opinion and I respect that.



ETA: By the way, I also agree with the whole idea behind Dr. Kervorkian, meaning giving someone with a terminal illness on the last painful days/weeks the choice to end it gracefully and with dignity when they decide to.

 

[ginna74]

I really get HURT when I hear how people judge others about suicide, BUT like other things PEOPLE in general are going to JUDGE things not neccesrily on fact but on opinion. Suicide CAN be selfish but in general is a last ditch effort to kill the pain of deeply troubled people. I have a friend that was in fact in a LOT of pain and to judge him and to say well WHAT ABOUT ME AND WHAT ABOUT FAMILY is really sick I believe, yes WE hurt but gosh. YES I suffered for years and still suffer I had a lot of guilt but I DO NOT BLAIM HIM and I would not say he was selfish, I will not JUDGE him, that is not for me to do!!!!!!! NOR IS IT FOR ANYONE ELSE to do. They will be judged by whomever is to judge them in the end... But ya can't stop it It is also sad really how we just want to blaim instead of mourn.

I am also bipolar, and let me tell you I think about suicide ALL the time, it runs through my brain like nothing and I self talk and it goes away like that and that is with meds. I drive and I think of it and I take a shower and I think of it, there is really no bounds and when I actually get depressed OH NO. Some times it doesn't stop and I need help. I am telling you I wish it could go away I wish I didn't think like that.But I know I will be ok I wont do it, but MAN O MAN I think about it. Can you amagin the people that are sick like me and aren't seeking help, those are the people that I am sure are the cause for a lot of suicides.


*** wanted to add when I said I know I wouldn't do it , that is how I feel now, things change all the time lololol. I hate this thing I have I know as long as I am medicated I will be ok and stay close to my doctors. it is a scary thing. But THank you to all the people who don't put suicide into just one catagory ie judge for what they know not...

 

[teskak]

I have to think about one part of suicide being the terminally ill person, who knows the path they are walking, that short of a genuine miracle (perhaps somebody who does not have a strong faith) and who knows what the last few steps will be like, then suicide or assisted euthanasia seems a possible option.

This is not for everybody, and the decision can really only be made in conjunction with their loved ones - but it is an option which should be available.

I was talking with a friend about her mother - the mother had inflammatory breast cancer about whether she would be taking her mother for a visit to Mexico for certain medications before the mets in her bones & lungs meant she was unable to travel. Now - this friend is a person who has lost a teenaged daughter to leukaemia after an 11 year fight (including bone marrow transplant), has done the final watch for a grandparent with mesothelioma (where the 1hr breakthrough pain relief lasted 45 mins), and who has nursed a father with prostate cancer.

In all - their family has seen enough, and yes it was a viable discussion, although she never did make the trip to Mexico - it would have saved the mother the last steps she is now taking and being unable to get a placement in hospice

Yes, there is a place for suicide (assisted euthanasia) and it should be something that is available to those who choose not to take those last few steps

 

[browneyes106]

I think it depends on the circumstances of the person. People with mental illness don't have a good mindset when they commit suicide. There are countless stories of people who simply commit suicide to avoid responsibility for their mistakes or the situations they live in. Jordin Tootoo who is an NHL player had a brother who committed suicide after being arrested for drunk driving. Last year there was a teenage boy in my city who committed suicide after he found out he wouldn't be able to graduate high school because he lacked a few credits. I think in certain circumstances suicide is selfish.

 

[Cindy F]

Well, since you put "nurse" in quotations, I'll assume your reference was to me.

My intent is not to hurt anyone. My intent was to impart my opinion, on an Internet message board....

Disney Doll, I could be wrong but I don't think you were the "nurse" DVC~OKW was referring to.

 

[shortbun]

I just watched my mother die a long, painful, horrifying death. I would have supported her decision to hasten her own death 100%. She chose to fight it out and it was something I never want to witness again. I was struck by how much more peaceful and loving my euthanizing of my beloved pets was than how I could help my mother - we were powerless and helpless in the face of her pain and horror. It was awful!!!

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I voted somewhat. I mainly feel it is selfish because they are saying that their depression (or anger or whatever drives them to suicide) is more important than the feeling those who love him will have when he's gone...


but...I know some people are so depressed they can't think that far ahead...

 

[Cool-Beans]

Well, I'm the OP of the other thread and I sure don't think suicide is a selfish act. It's an act of hopelessness and desperation. Unless it is a decision made by someone with a terminal illness, of course...I totally understand people deciding to put a bullet through their head instead of dying from cancer. Or a person who has struggled with extreme mental illness that can't be cured and has decided to end that pain. I understand that, too.

But short of a terminal (or mental) illness, suicide is just a sad, sad business and I'd do whatever I could to help someone not do that under most circumstances.

But it is wicked selfish to prevent dying people from getting to hospitals because you want to hold up traffic. If you want to kill yourself, do it. Don't cause others to suffer and die just because you want to drag the general public into your personal drama.

When you add up all the pain caused to the folks who can't get around (and their loved ones) and you compare it to the pain of the one person and his loved ones, the many people trump the one guy. IMO, anyway.

I see now that many, many people don't care about the people who need to get to the hospital - just the guy who wants to stop them. I believe they call that "compassion." Not my definition of the word.

 

[JennaTX]

Well, I'm the OP of the other thread and I sure don't think suicide is a selfish act. It's an act of hopelessness and desperation. Unless it is a decision made by someone with a terminal illness, of course...I totally understand people deciding to put a bullet through their head instead of dying from cancer. Or a person who has struggled with extreme mental illness that can't be cured and has decided to end that pain. I understand that, too.

But short of a terminal (or mental) illness, suicide is just a sad, sad business and I'd do whatever I could to help someone not do that under most circumstances.

But it is wicked selfish to prevent dying people from getting to hospitals because you want to hold up traffic. If you want to kill yourself, do it. Don't cause others to suffer and die just because you want to drag the general public into your personal drama.

When you add up all the pain caused to the folks who can't get around (and their loved ones) and you compare it to the pain of the one person and his loved ones, the many people trump the one guy. IMO, anyway.

I see now that many, many people don't care about the people who need to get to the hospital - just the guy who wants to stop them. I believe they call that "compassion." Not my definition of the word.

So what is your definition of "compassion"?

 

[Cool-Beans]

So what is your definition of "compassion"?

In that instance, caring more about people who were going about their lives and had a sudden acute illness that required immediate attention and were en route to the hospital to get it than caring about the guy who decided to stop them.

I don't even understand why someone would say, "Who cares about people who need to get to the hospital when this guy wants to stop traffic? They can jolly well die. He should be able to stop traffic if he says he wants to jump. He doesn't actually have to want it bad enough to do it, though. He can just stand there and they should just die. Their lives don't matter. We just care about him and want him to succeed. Because we're good people and you aren't."

Everyone is entitled to their own definition, but I honestly and truly believe that feeling worse for the guy who holds up traffic than the people who are stuck in it is just nuts.

ETA: People have medical emergencies all the time. They have heart attacks and strokes and go into premature labor and have car accidents and all manner of grief. There is a whole world of misery out there on a routine basis. The public's need to use the roadways trumps the guy who wants attention every single time.

It is wicked selfish to tie up traffic on purpose and IMO more than a little cruel to support that. But that's me and obviously other people have other opinions.