Do You Think People Overuse the Word Friend?

[SaraJayne]

Absolutely! Most people I know are close acquaintances. I know them. I interact with them and enjoy good times with them. However, the number of people I can count on to be there for me no matter the circumstances, I can count on one hand. My friends are those that would support me in every circumstance. They might not agree with me or like what I do, but they would be there to help me in whatever way possible. I would do the same for them.

Many people are friendly, but they are not there when the going gets rough.

I will continue to use the word friend for people I like, but I reserve the term "true friend" for very few.

I agree with everything you've said. OP, I've recently learned the same "lesson" you did.

 

[clutter]

I believe that there are differing levels of friendships. I have co-workers that the relationship is stronger than co-worker, but less than friend. Back in my single,pre-kid days, I had bunches of friends that were 'activity friends.' We'd ski together, bike together, do stuff together, but I wouldn't call them if I was blue. I have 'other parent' friends' that would help out in the drop of a hat and vice versa. Then I have a bunch of friends that I may be closer to. My closest friend is long distance and I rarely get to see her, but we've been freinds for over 30 years!

I've been teaching my dd about the different levels. She's got friends at school, friends at school that she does stuff with, friends she's known forever that are the 'go-to' friends when we're looking for someone to join us in something fun (it got really interesting when she ended upt at school with one of her 'go-to' friends and they turned out to not be school friends, but are still go-o friends).

But no, I don't think people overuse the word friend, but they may not look at all of the variations within the term. Calling someone a friend is so much easier than the longer explaination. But my favorite is a friend's daughter (a close friend) adopted from overseas. She's 5, and every time I see her she hugs me and calls me "my friend." It's heartwarming stuff!

 

[HsvTeacher]

IMHO, the word "friend" is definitely overused. I also had to learn a hard lesson recently about friendship, and it really hurts your feelings when you find out that you've been pushed aside and used.

That being said, my best friend in my DH. Other than him, I don't have any true friends. I have lots of acquaintances, but no one I can completely count on if I ever needed help.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I actually think I set myself up for some of the pain & disappointment I've had.
Last night I was talking to DH and he said I should NEVER "expect" people to reach out and show they care. I actually found myself protecting them, they were busy, kids, illness, etc.
He pointed out to me when we were going through one of the worse times of sadness in our life and serious grieving the phone never rang and a text never came. I'm heartbroken as I even think about who I did expect to reach out.....

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

This is what I have told my kids... In life you have a few good friends and lots of "friendlys." Friends are the people who, like someone else said, are almost like family. "Friendlys" are people who you enjoy, maybe even hang out or whatever, but you don't have the connection to them that you do your friends. They might be more then an aquatience, but not as close as a real friend.

It is funny that my DH and I were just talking about this last night. He has 230 "friends" on FB. When he goes on he posts a joke, or something interesting her read or whatever. Nothing about his real life. I have like 30 "friends" on FB. They are all "friendlys" and while I do talk about life sometimes, like the kids or whatever, they are all other moms (and a couple dads) who are good to bounce ideas off of and stuff. But I see myself as having one truly best friend, my DH and a few ery close friends and the rest are nice people who could at some point become better friends but aren't there yet. DH said he has 2 close friends, me as his best and another who is like his brother.

ETA- I had one of those life learning moments as well. When DD9 was an infant she was very sick. I had been up with her for days and had been back and forth to the doctor. We went in on a Friday and he told me if she got any worse overnight to go right to the ER. (She had RSV.) Anyway, I was so tired after a long week and my DH had the weekend off so he told me to get some sleep. He took her to the ER in the night. I woke up to a note and called and she had been admitted. DH had taken the family van and left his 2 seater car. I had 2 kids who were 8 and 3 at the time. I called a "friend" who lives around the corner and asked her to come sit with the kids so I could run there to be with her and DH would come right home. First she said no, she didn't want to catch anything, then I said I'd be OK with her kust sitting in her car outside in case the kids needed her. Then she said it was too early and too cold out. Both of which it was but my baby was in the hospital, you'd think a friend would be running over to help out, I would have for her (in fact not long before that I had driven her and her son to the ER when she didn't have a car.) Anyway, it was a shock, and I didn't call anyone else cause I felt so embarassed by her response. I put both my girls in one seatbelt and took all back roads to the hospital. DH took them home in the van and I stayed for the next 5 days in the hospital with my baby. I never thought of our "friendship" the same. We chat, our kids play, but I will never confide in her or count on her, that is for sure. A few years later I got very sick and wound up in he ER. I found out I needed surgery and was scared to be alone. DH called a different friend to watch the kids and in a heartbeat hey took them so he could be with me overnight and as long as we needed. When they came home, they were happy, healthy and fed and even all their laundry was washed...that's a friend!!!