Do you teach your kids table manners?

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I try.

One of my pet peeves is seeing a grown person at the table holding their fork in their fist while cutting their meat. I acknowledge it is completely stupid for this to bother me, but blame my mother for being so anal about table manners when I was a kid.

I will consider it a success if my children grasp the basics; napkin on lap, mouth closed while chewing, proper holding of knife and fork, no leaning over plate with your nose almost touching.

???

so what are they supposed to do, hold the meat with their fingers while cutting it?

I have dined all over the world, and I assure you that in a lot of places, they use the fork to hold the meat while cutting it.

 

[worm761]

We teach DS table manners. He forgets them at home but is pretty good out in public.

I would slap a child (or adult) who thought to touch food on my plate! And yes I have. I stabbed a friend with a fork because he kept touching my food. I don't even like for my food to touch my food! WHY would you think it acceptable to touch food on someone else plate? That is just gross.

 

[MaumeeMom]

Yes! We absolutely expect good table manners from our children! I really feel strongly about this because it sets up good, life-long habits. Our kids aren't perfect but they try and I am very proud of them.

A while back we were meeting friends with small children at a local restaurant and when we checked in they told us it would be about 5 minutes. When our friends showed up it became 35 minutes and we were placed far in the back all by ourselves. It turns out that this other family goes to that restaurant often and they have a reputation. Their kids had terrible manners - running around the restaurant, putting their fingers in others food, drinking from the adults' cups, etc., etc. I was horrified!

 

[mjkacmom]

Yes we do, but not the the extent that my dad did (completely ruined the meal - I once had to excuse myself from the table because I had the hiccups). No talking with your mouth full, eat with your mouth closed, eat with utensils, as food to be passes, and don't reach over the table, ask to be excused... The kids are always calling each other on the no chewing with your mouth open thing.

 

[sbsteel]

???

so what are they supposed to do, hold the meat with their fingers while cutting it?

I have dined all over the world, and I assure you that in a lot of places, they use the fork to hold the meat while cutting it.

I understand what the poster was saying, my parents were the same way.

She's referring to when people hold their fork in a closed fist and stab the meat down to the plate while sawing off a piece with their knife.

 

[MiniGirl]

I understand what the poster was saying, my parents were the same way.

She's referring to when people hold their fork in a closed fist and stab the meat down to the plate while sawing off a piece with their knife.

My oldest dd actually does this. She never held her fork like that until we let her start using a knife, so I have been working with her on that as well as trying to get her to sit up straight. Good posture seems to be going the way of good manners, but of course, that doesn't affect anyone else.

 

[minkydog]

Oh, heck yes! I started teaching my kids manners before they turned 2. I was more forgiving when they were toddlers and preschoolers, often giving them second chances to get their behaviors right. By age 6 i expected my kids to practice basic good manners at home and in public. And by the time they were 8 I expected their manners to be good enough to go out to a nice sit-down restaurant. We do not play video games or DVDs at the table. We don't sing, talk with our mouths full, yell or reach across each other for food. We treat each other with consideration, carry on give & take conversation (appropriate topics only.) No phone calls or texting. No complaining about the food--my favorite saying is "You don't have to eat, but you can come to the table and make sparkling conversation."

I am happy to say the hard work paid off. My older kids (23 & 16) are very comfortable ordering in restaurants, leaving tips, and paying the bill. Even Christian is pretty good (he has the intellect of a 1-2yo). We just never allowed food throwing, taking food of others' plates, shouting or melt-downs. If you have to engage in obnoxious behaviors you are invited to go to your room unless you can immediately apologize and correct the behavior. Even Christian has been sent away a few times, and believe me, he loves to eat--he didn't mess up too many times before he "got it."

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

???

so what are they supposed to do, hold the meat with their fingers while cutting it?

I have dined all over the world, and I assure you that in a lot of places, they use the fork to hold the meat while cutting it.

I think they are referring to a clenched fist (up and down) versus fork upside down stabbed into the meat with a more open hand. (I don't know how else to describe it.)

I had always thought the fist was bad manners as that is what I was tought--however I think that varies from culture to culture now--but I can't recall where I read that at. In some places--the clenched fist is fine.

Nevermind--I was confusing that with the "which hand to hold it in"--here we do the switch-a-roo but in Europe they keep the knife in one hand and the fork in the other and don't switch to eat the cut piece of meat.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

We teach DS table manners. He forgets them at home but is pretty good out in public.

I would slap a child (or adult) who thought to touch food on my plate! And yes I have. I stabbed a friend with a fork because he kept touching my food. I don't even like for my food to touch my food! WHY would you think it acceptable to touch food on someone else plate? That is just gross.

I hope you got a new fork that just got germ-ified from injuring the offender.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Yes i teach my kids good manners, absolutely.
the reason I thought of this was yesterday after swimming a few of us went to this cafe, they have sandwiches, smoothies, etc........
my dd was eating a sandwich, and a 6 yo little boy of a friend of mine, came over and sat next to her, and started whining, he wanted some of her food, and stuck his finger in her sandwich, I could see my poor dd's face get like "ewwwww" ( she is 9yo)
his mom said nothing, and he did it again, so I corrected him and told him not to stick his fingers in her food!
he kept whining that his mom wouldn't get him a sandwich and he wanted hers LOL.......it was kind of annoying that the mom did not correct him at all, just was oblivious, like she thought my dd should hand over her food for him to take a bite! LOL

Yeah, that would not have gone over so well in this household.

And, FTR, this has crossed the line from poor manners to just plain brattiness.

What is it that Queen Clarisse said in The Princess Diaries?

"Manners Matter"

Although, I have never tied one of my children to a chair with an Hermes scarf.

 

[sau418]

Absolutely, and not just table manners, but please, thank you, no thank you, excuse me, and I'm sorry. Too many people don't have ANY manners today it is really sad.

I also believe that kids learn best by example so if mom and dad have good manners the kids will as well.

Even at 2 and 3 my girls are expected to sit through an entire meal at the table until everyone is finished, granted we also do not do 2 hour meals. It drives me batty when kids inhale their food then jump down and run from the table. We make it an enjoyable time and talk about everyone's day and what we are looking forward to. They also have to try one bite of everything on their plate.

 

[Jennasis]

???

so what are they supposed to do, hold the meat with their fingers while cutting it?

I have dined all over the world, and I assure you that in a lot of places, they use the fork to hold the meat while cutting it.

This:

 

[Jennasis]

And because it's adorable...

 

[Mickey's Minion]

???

so what are they supposed to do, hold the meat with their fingers while cutting it?

I have dined all over the world, and I assure you that in a lot of places, they use the fork to hold the meat while cutting it.

Hey, I did say my peeve was irrational

Of course you use the fork. What I am talking about is the fork being straight up and down in a closed fist rather than the proper holding of the fork, held in the third knuckle with the thumb and index finger guiding it.

This:

Not This:

Or ever this!!:
(just turn the fork around so the tines are coming out the bottom of the fist)

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Everytime I come across this thread I think of the kid on a Disney Channel short.


"Can you teach my alligator manners?"

 

[Mickey's Minion]

This:

You found a much better picture

 

[Pixiedust34]

Like not sticking their fingers in other peoples food? or do you write it off as " well he is just 6 he doesn't know any better?

Yes, we teach table manners and have always expected good behavior.

I hope I never sit with the family you described at Biergarten.......

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Hey, I did say my peeve was irrational

Of course you use the fork. What I am talking about is the fork being straight up and down in a closed fist rather than the proper holding of the fork, held in the third knuckle with the thumb and index finger guiding it.

This:

you OBVIOUSLY never dined at a place where the meat was "tough"

somethimes a cut of meat needs a chainsaw effect.

 

[MaumeeMom]

PARTIAL...
We do not play video games or DVDs at the table...
No phone calls or texting.

That drives me nuts. I think a kid should be able to sit through a meal without his DS or phone. I know that the "toys" keep them quiet and happy but what will happen when they are 30 and need to go to a company dinner? They won't know how to function.

Electronics are forbidden in my dining room.

And because it's adorable...

That is too stinken' cute!

 

[Mickey's Minion]

you OBVIOUSLY never dined at a place where the meat was "tough"

somethimes a cut of meat needs a chainsaw effect.

Yes I have, and like you, have dined all over the world. I am old as the hills and I have yet to encounter a piece of meat that I had to resort to stabbing it to hold it down

But to each their own. It is my pet peeve, but if you want to hold your utensils like that, OBVIOUSLY have at it.