Do you talk to your Siblings???

[ThreeMusketeers]

I have one sister. She is 3 years younger than me, and we don't get along at all. I guess our personalities just stopped clicking the older we got. I didn't think much of it until this past summer i drove 3 hours to spend the weekend with her and she blew myself and my daughter off every day! Spent the rest of the time on her cell phone. And then cursed me out b/c i am too sensitive. ??? She also got physical with me on occasions in front of my daughter. Should have just cut ties there..but I forgave her just to save face and see if we could possiably make things better. And she just recently had a birthday party where most of my family was invited and she discluded me entirely. She no longer makes an effort to even talk to her neice. I think its just a lost cause. Do you talk to your siblings? Would love to hear some stories. I feel so alone..how do you handle it at family events? My parents usually hold thanksgiving and xmas and its usually just dh,dd and myself, and my sis and her boyfriend. Tell me your story.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I have two sisters one a few years younger and the other 10 years younger. The middle one I don't talk to at all. She's quite the piece of work. I believe this is where my DS4 inherited his ODD from. My youngest sister I do talk to, In fact I'm her maid of honor in her Wedding next year. There is such a large age difference that we don't have very much incommon right now, but do still stay in touch

 

[Toot Sweet]

I talk to my 3 sisters, but I don't talk to my brother. He's got some questionable values and he is not always pleasant to be around.

 

[Disneyland1084]

I have an older biological sister, a younger step-brother and two step-sisters. I have a good relationship with all of them. Except one step-sister disappeared (not litterally) from the family 7 years ago. She has her own life that doesn't include anybody from my family.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Awww...{hugs} to you...I know how tough it is. I am 41 and have been around the block with my family. So many ups and downs...
You are not alone.

I will share a party story since you shared one yourself.

I cooked all the holiday dinners FOR YEARS for my family. I cooked, cleaned, decorated...etc...
When my sister had a holiday dinner she didn't invite me.
At that point I knew that I was trying to get something I could never have. I was putting out effort on something that wasn't there.
That was a hard pill to swallow and took me many years to do so.
Finally I had a "system" where I didn't put too much out and tried to keep it reciprocal.
However...I had not counted on my kids "finally seeing the light". I had lied, made excuses, etc...about my sister and why she didn't visit with my dd's. They were 14 & 9 and when they said "my sister didn't care about them", I knew it was time to get away from my family.

We did and it has been 1yr 1/2 and while I am still bummed about losing them, I already had lost them long ago. That is hardest part I think. All those years of "trying" to make something work that wasn't there.
I have regret for that but I try and see the good parts because there were many.

Good news is healing and living in the moment!

 

[disneymama73]

I have one sister who is 3.5 yrs younger. We have had some really rough times were we didn't speak to each other, but we are very close now and talk every single day, sometimes several times per day.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Do you still have to see the family memebers that you don't talk too? At "family gatherings" and such?

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Awww...{hugs} to you...I know how tough it is. I am 41 and have been around the block with my family. So many ups and downs...
You are not alone.

I will share a party story since you shared one yourself.

I cooked all the holiday dinners FOR YEARS for my family. I cooked, cleaned, decorated...etc...
When my sister had a holiday dinner she didn't invite me.
At that point I knew that I was trying to get something I could never have. I was putting out effort on something that wasn't there.
That was a hard pill to swallow and took me many years to do so.
Finally I had a "system" where I didn't put too much out and tried to keep it reciprocal.
However...I had not counted on my kids "finally seeing the light". I had lied, made excuses, etc...about my sister and why she didn't visit with my dd's. They were 14 & 9 and when they said "my sister didn't care about them", I knew it was time to get away from my family.

We did and it has been 1yr 1/2 and while I am still bummed about losing them, I already had lost them long ago. That is hardest part I think. All those years of "trying" to make something work that wasn't there.
I have regret for that but I try and see the good parts because there were many.

Good news is healing and living in the moment!

Thanks for the story! Sorry for your upsets as well. It's hard. It seems so wrong, but it makes me feel really weird just letting her be a part of dd's life once a year. (holidays) And then not coming around the rest of the year, is that a confusing message or am i overthinking it?

 

[Alicnwondrln]

I am 3 years older than my sis we dont along that much sad really
she lives alittle over an hour from me
we fkight alot she hasnt had a steady job in years and is always making comments about my families ability to go away while she sucks $ from my parents constantly

I am 12 yars older than my brother who just graduated from high school
i love him very much and i am proud of him
he os working full time
which is more than i can say for my sister
everythings a game with her
it sucks

 

[sydally9367]

I have two sisters. My middle sister is 5 years younger than I am and my youngest sister is 8 years younger than I am. I am very close with my youngest sister, we talk several times a week and get along great..which is funny because we didn't get along so wonderfully when we were younger. My middle sister and I are going through a rough time right now and haven't spoken in a few months. We used to be very close, but we have some disagreements and her DH and I (and my DH) do not get along and it has caused my sister and I to grow apart. I miss her a lot and have tried to reach out to her so that we can repair our relationship, but it hasn't seemed to work yet. Hopefully we can get things back on track because life is too short to not be close with your family.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I have good relationships with both my Dsis but it takes work and we are all very forgiving. I'm the middle child. We all have very different personalities and sometimes its hard. My younger sister summed it up - older sis the over-achiever; me - the realist; her - well she called her self a dreamer. I call her a little light in the reality department. I don't agree with alot of things she does or how she raises her children. We WANT to have a relationship with each other so we work at it. There are many times when we've had disagreements that could have caused us to stop speaking. But I love them too much for them to get the last word.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I have 3 older brothers (ranging from 10 to 6 years older then me.)

I like them all a lot, but 2 of them I don't see that often even though we live close by. One is out of the country for work often, the other has a wife who there is a lot of tension with. She never got along with her family too well and always has been resentful of how close her husband was with his brothers and sister. We have a cat and they are allergic, won't even step in our house. However sometimes when we do get together we get along pretty well, and I can't blame it all on my sister in law, sometimes my brother is a bit wacky too.

However I do like them all a lot. I love getting together with my family, we are rather goofy.

One brother lives close by, he is a single father (wife died of breast cancer 8 years ago.) I see him daily, or at least every few days. His kids are over often, spend the night here often and help out with my kids too. We are very close.

I always tell his kids that you should always be nice to your sister, you never know when you are going to need her as an adult. Good thing this brother was always very good to me (the other brothers were a bit rough on me let's just say.)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Do you still have to see the family memebers that you don't talk too? At "family gatherings" and such?

Yes...We put on the "fake social face", be polite, and see ya' next year.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

yes, I still see all of my family at family gatherings. It's really hard sometimes to bite my tounge. She is always saying something offensive, rude, or an out right lie. I'm pretty sure she does it on purpose. That would be typical of ODD behavior

 

[disykat]

My brother is 3 years older. I only see him every few years because he lives in Hawaii. My parents fly over yearly so he doesn't make it back to the mainland often.
We talk on the phone every few weeks.

My sister is 1 1/2 years older. We usually talk every week or so on the phone. She lives about 200 miles away and we try to see each other several times a year - usually at the holidays and one or two other times.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Thanks for the story! Sorry for your upsets as well. It's hard. It seems so wrong, but it makes me feel really weird just letting her be a part of dd's life once a year. (holidays) And then not coming around the rest of the year, is that a confusing message or am i overthinking it?

Ah yes....the dilemma.

Here is the real issue...It upsets YOU, which goes to your family.
There lies the problem.

Holiday's are supposed to be filled with warm fuzzy memories and if they are about how upset you are with your family dynamics then that is what your family's holiday is about. Does that make sense?

You need to discern between the two?
Annoying? or Destructive?

Annoying can be put up with. Destructive is something you don't have to volunteer for.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I am the eldest of 3. I am 36, my middle sister is 26, and the youngest is 14. I used to get along OK with my middle sister but some things have happened this year and we are not speaking to each other. I don't know if that will ever change.

My youngest sister was a complete accident. She was born the year I got married. We have never lived in the same house, we have nothing in common, and she moved out of state with our mom in June so I don't imagine we will be seeing each other very often. Even when she lived in town I didn't see her very often. She is only 4 years older than my DS and she is very jealous of him so she tends to be mean to him.

So no, I am not close to my siblings.

 

[Aidensmom]

I get along with everyone, even if I don't agree with all that they may do. My brother and sister, however, have refused to speak to each other for about the last 2 years.

That is their right, but it makes it hard on me and my mom. I end up being the "mediator" in any holiday plans, I have to go back and forth calling everyone to get people to all agree to be in the same building. Personally, I would rather just not have the whole family there on holidays if this is they way they want to be, but it is important to my mom and my grandmother.

We also used to all go on a family vacation every year to the beach, and now my sister will only go meet us there for a couple of hours on one day, and the atmosphere is tense at that time.

 

[princess sparkle p]

My sister is 3.5 years younger than I am. We are complete opposites. Our relationship has its ups and downs, I do hold out hope that once we are both older we will get along better (I am 27 now). Sister is leads a completely different lifestyle and we don’t usually see eye to eye. I have learned to keep my mouth shut for the purpose of family preservation. I am just like my dad and sister is just like my mom, makes for an interesting mix. Mom thinks she walks on water, and let me tell you the world stops turning when she comes home for a visit.

Good luck and hang in there. I think we all have our sibling issues.

 

[Serena]

I have a step brother that I rarely see. Some things happened when I was a kid and we will never be close. I am polite and I care, I'm just like that, but friends, we won't ever be. A few years ago he brought his drunk mom to one of my christmas dinners. I told him not to bring her back in that condition and I haven't seen him for christmas since.

My sister and I were never close as kids. It really wasn't until our mom died and my sister had twins that she really started calling me. We're pretty close now, but not an every day thing. We do see each other quite a bit.