Do you talk about people behind their back?

[LoraJ]

and a couple of weeks ago when you were talking about the Horrible Mom and her son and the air gun incident --- do you not count the things you said about her and her son as talking about somebody behind their backs? Are they here to defend themselves????

Good point

 

[Stacerita]

Yep, sorry but this is true. If you don't think anyone talks behind your back, think again!

 

[EltonJohn]

IOW do I gossip?

HECK NO!

 

[Snow_White]

My husband is my best friend and I pretty much tell him everything and anything, unless someone tells me something personal and explicitly tells me not to tell anyone. I thought most married couples were like this. Being a "gossip" and talking behind someone's back are two completely different thigns, IMO.

 

[In a hurry]

IOW do I gossip?

HECK NO!

You never discuss a co-worker who doesn't fulfill their duties, a girlfriend making bad choices, a sibling to a parent or visa versa? Or talk with someone about discussions where others have voiced different opinions.

When I asked the question I wasn't asking do you go from person to person discussing any dirt you might have on someone else.

 

[auntpolly]

Again, what does this have to do with the original topic? Do you really think there would be a fuss if it were a matter of just "people talking behind people's back?"

Here's the question that you should have asked: "Do you spend hours a day scouring people's conversations for things to run back to your friends and make fun of?" And, "When you find out that other people have found out what you've been saying, are you gleeful and proud and totally without shame?"

If I had a conversation about a problem with a friend behind their back and they found out, it would be awkward, but I would apologize and then tell them to their face what I'd been saying. But if I were just making fun of them for fun's sake, which honestly, I think is horrible and if I do that, I should be ashamed and if I were found out, I should just apologize.

Stop making this about "talking behind people's back". Don't put having a conversation you are having with a problem with a neighbor in the same category as running around saying, "OOOOOOOO did you see that picture of so and so? They look so ugly!!!!!"

 

[In a hurry]

Huh? I asked a question that I was curious about. Some seem highly self-righteous about not talking of others, and you look at their posts, and they have spent extensive time ragging on spouses, kids, MILs, teachers, parents, etc. I have seen some of these same people say some of the rudest, mean and sarcastic things I have ever read on this board.

I am interested in the rules that govern this thought. "It is OK to talk about the people IRL on an internet board, but not talk about internet people on another internet board." One is venting, one is gossip. Both can say very negative things about others. So, what's the diff.?

 

[auntpolly]

You don't see the difference between venting and making fun of people?

One is for blowing off steam, which doesn't necessarily make it OK, but is pretty natural, and the other is for tearing others down so you can look better. One is for getting something that has affected you off your chest. The other is for forming weird clicques and isolating and attacking people that you just don't like because of the way they are.

 

[phorsenuf]

I am interested in the rules that govern this thought. "It is OK to talk about the people IRL on an internet board, but not talk about internet people on another internet board." One is venting, one is gossip. Both can say very negative things about others. So, what's the diff.?

Hmmm.....interesting question. Let me go ask some people on the other boards I go to and see what they think about such a stupid question! They always have opinions about what you think!

 

[In a hurry]

You don't see the difference between venting and making fun of people?

One is for blowing off steam, which doesn't necessarily make it OK, but is pretty natural, and the other is for tearing others down so you can look better. One is for getting something that has affected you off your chest. The other is for forming weird clicques and isolating and attacking people that you just don't like because of the way they are.

I never mentioned making fun of people. I would assume that this is connected with your experience with these issues. I have never encountered such a thing, personally. Don't know about weird cliques.

phorsenuf - I love your name...took me forever to figure it out! Let me know if you get an answer! Frankly not the right smilie, but I needed a chuckling one, not a rolling on the floor one!

You don't belong to weird cliques, now, do you?

 

[phorsenuf]

phorsenuf - I love your name...took me forever to figure it out! Let me know if you get an answer! Frankly not the right smilie, but I needed a chuckling one, not a rolling on the floor one!

You don't belong to weird cliques, now, do you?

Me? What kind of weird cliques? Fill me in, I may be interested! LOL

 

[mickeyfan2]

Me? What kind of weird cliques? Fill me in, I may be interested! LOL

Come join me!!! I am weird and any clique that I am a park of has to be weird.

 

[CathrynRose]

and a couple of weeks ago when you were talking about the Horrible Mom and her son and the air gun incident --- do you not count the things you said about her and her son as talking about somebody behind their backs? Are they here to defend themselves????

She is not my buddy and I dont care for that kid. I dont make myself out to be their best-est bud, and then turn around and talk about them!

I took - talking about someone behind their back - to mean people within my life which I *am* friends with. Maybe I took this to mean, to be 2-faced...which I consider talking about someone behind their back, to be.

I certainly would NOT have been 2-Faced to that Mother. I would have told her EXACTLY how I felt about her actions.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I took - talking about someone behind their back - to mean people within my life which I *am* friends with. Maybe I took this to mean, to be 2-faced...which I consider talking about someone behind their back, to be.

I thought the original question was talking behind people's backs, not talking behind friends backs.

Everyone talks behind people's backs -- anytime you talk about anyone who's not present, whether good or bad, it's talking behind their backs.

 

[CathrynRose]

Again, what does this have to do with the original topic? Do you really think there would be a fuss if it were a matter of just "people talking behind people's back?"

Here's the question that you should have asked: "Do you spend hours a day scouring people's conversations for things to run back to your friends and make fun of?" And, "When you find out that other people have found out what you've been saying, are you gleeful and proud and totally without shame?"

If I had a conversation about a problem with a friend behind their back and they found out, it would be awkward, but I would apologize and then tell them to their face what I'd been saying. But if I were just making fun of them for fun's sake, which honestly, I think is horrible and if I do that, I should be ashamed and if I were found out, I should just apologize.

Stop making this about "talking behind people's back". Don't put having a conversation you are having with a problem with a neighbor in the same category as running around saying, "OOOOOOOO did you see that picture of so and so? They look so ugly!!!!!"

You got it - youre explaining it more clearly then I am. Nail on the head.

 

[Tigger_Magic]

I certainly would NOT have been 2-Faced to that Mother. I would have told her EXACTLY how I felt about her actions.

You would have told her... But instead you chose to post about it to 90,000+ strangers?

 

[CathrynRose]

I thought the original question was talking behind people's backs, not talking behind friends backs.

Everyone talks behind people's backs -- anytime you talk about anyone who's not present, whether good or bad, it's talking behind their backs.

Then what the heck is the point of the question in the first place?

Oh - probably to make the ones who DO behave in such a manner, justify their actions.

 

[CathrynRose]

You would have told her... But instead you chose to post about it to 90,000+ strangers?

Youre comparing apples to oranges.

The original intent of this thread was to ask if -you- think it's okay for people to go elsewhere and rip other people apart, for fun. Apparently some of you do, and try to justify such by comparing posts such as mine, or others *vents* (if thats what you'd like to call them) to the vulgar-mean-immature "talking behind people's backs"

If that makes -you- or whomever else fell better - great! But youre fooling yourself. Mean is mean - thats it.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Again, what does this have to do with the original topic? Do you really think there would be a fuss if it were a matter of just "people talking behind people's back?"

Here's the question that you should have asked: "Do you spend hours a day scouring people's conversations for things to run back to your friends and make fun of?" And, "When you find out that other people have found out what you've been saying, are you gleeful and proud and totally without shame?"

If I had a conversation about a problem with a friend behind their back and they found out, it would be awkward, but I would apologize and then tell them to their face what I'd been saying. But if I were just making fun of them for fun's sake, which honestly, I think is horrible and if I do that, I should be ashamed and if I were found out, I should just apologize.

Stop making this about "talking behind people's back". Don't put having a conversation you are having with a problem with a neighbor in the same category as running around saying, "OOOOOOOO did you see that picture of so and so? They look so ugly!!!!!"

auntpolly, you got it exactly right. Although I'm not really one to talk about someone without talking to the person I'm talking about, I'm not going to judge others for doing that. What DOES offend me, however, is exactly what you are talking about - making fun of someone. And this "other" board does exactly that, according to what people are telling me. THAT is what is immature.

 

[caitycaity]

sometimes i feel the need to vent about someone. i'm human - i admit it.