do you take your grown children on vacation?

[HOGFAN]

Update:

DD and I sat down this afternoon for a discussion about this. I told her she was welcome to go but we would NOT make up her wages. She said she couldnt go.
Next I offered her the chance to make some extra $ while we are gone. She can stay here and take care of the dog. This will help her out as well as us.
As far as a separate trip down the road, I told her if she would save half of the airfare we would give her the rest. She thinks she can do this but I dont think this will happen given her spending habits. we will see.

thanks for everyones opinions. I think this worked out rather well.

 

[TammiMcMan]

Glad you talked and did what's best for your family. Maybe next time.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

Will you adopt?

(j/k )

Our christmas present to our children (27 & 25)is the annual trip to Disney the week after Thanksgiving. We pay for Air, have DVC, passes and all their food. The last couple of years we have also taken my daughters BF and my son’s GF.

We always do something fun too. Last year the girls went to the Dolphin Spa and the boys did the Segway tour. We also had dinner at the Calif Grill. A LOT of money was spent.

On Christmas day they received a small box of lindt chocolate and a $25 gift card from Barnes & Noble but they know that going in, our “Christmas” celebration is that week in November.

This year my brother and his family will be joining us at the Grand Villa at the BW (they are paying their own expenses) although my daughters BF will not be invited as he has expressed that he’d had a lousy time with us last year – that is another whole story but suffice to say that since then we have not seen her BF and have no desire to do so.

Too bad since my daughter is pretty much a Disney Freak so that may be a vacation she continues with the family and without him.

My daughter has also come with us that same week while my son was away in College and my son was also in Disney with his school for FIRST years ago so there are times that each of them go on vacation to Disney and not all are invited.

I guess it’s up to the individual family. For us it is our tradition but if one was coming and I could afford the other, I’d probably take my daughter. I have a running bank account in my head and they pretty much get equal $$ from us.

denise

 

[minniecarousel]

We told our older DS last summer that we were driving down to Disneyland for our Anniversary in September. He asked if he and his GF could tag along in the backseat, since they wanted to go once the really bad summer heat was over. We said sure - then I called younger DS to see if he and his GF could get away to go with us also. So, we rented a mini-van and drove the 6 of us to Disneyland, with us footing the bill for tickets, rooms and most meals. It was really fun, but I NEVER thought I'd see the day when I'd reserve 3 rooms for a family vacations - for our boys to take their girlfriends along! (who are now engaged to our sons )

Once they were in college, we let them know when & where we were going to see if they wanted to come, but we have taken many long weekends without them. (They were TOLD that they were coming with us when older DS graduated from college and younger DS turned 21 - we all went to WDW & a 3-day Disney Cruise.)

 

[annegal]

I think that because she opted to move out, we are no longer obligated to provide her 'vacation'. Do you take your grown, out-of-the-house' kids on vacation?

Man, I can not imagine a 19 year old being able to fully support themselves, much less pay for a vacation.

Last summer, our young adult kids shared our rented Beach condo and each brought a friend. We treated them to a couple dinners-otherwise I had a fully stocked kitchen of food. I treasure those memories, because you really never do know when it will happen again.

 

[BuckNaked]

Man, I can not imagine a 19 year old being able to fully support themselves, much less pay for a vacation.

I find this interesting...why not? I think there are probably many more 19 year olds supporting themselves than you might think.

 

[AprilShowers]

I find this interesting...why not? I think there are probably many more 19 year olds supporting themselves than you might think.

Well, my sister and I were supporting ourselves at that age, but not by choice. It wasn't easy. We would have LOVED to go on a family vacation with our parents. We both worked very hard to make ends meet, but there was CERTAINLY no $$ for vacations!
But then again, our parents NEVER took us on one family vacation. We both swore our children would have the joy and the memories of family vacations.....and they do!

 

[annegal]

The OP states her DD only works part time, so yep, I daresay she is not fully supporting herself.

Sorry for the generalization. I do know some young people who support themselves, and work very hard to do so.

 

[Talking Hands]

When children have moved out and are on their own there should be no obligation to take them on vacation. NIce if you can afford to do it and want to but not required at all.

 

[Stacerita]

Man, I can not imagine a 19 year old being able to fully support themselves, much less pay for a vacation.

My brother was married with one kid at 19 and living on his own. He was also able to pay for his family to vacation. It can be done.

To the OP - Glad to hear that you talked with your DD and that its working out well. Maybe she will surprise you and be able to save the money.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Man, I can not imagine a 19 year old being able to fully support themselves, much less pay for a vacation.

I think a couple of DISers will disagree with you on this one. I think I recall reading a few stories about being married with a child at 19 and suporting themselves. Tough, though doable.

 

[Nancyg56]

OP: I'm glad that you and your DD were able to talk.

 

[BuckNaked]

I think a couple of DISers will disagree with you on this one. I think I recall reading a few stories about being married with a child at 19 and suporting themselves. Tough, though doable.

I'm not sure why they would disagree with me - I too believe it is doable. In fact, I know it is, because I did it.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I'm not sure why they would disagree with me - I too believe it is doable. In fact, I know it is, because I did it.

Oops!! I quoted the wrong person!!! Hang on let me fix it. Sorry about that!

 

[BuckNaked]

Oops!! I quoted the wrong person!!! Hang on let me fix it. Sorry about that!

No problem, I was just confused!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

There. Sorry about that!!

 

[wdw4us]

Will you adopt?

(j/k )

Stand in line.............. We do have so much fun as a family and there are a lot of our friends that would like to be adopted - at least for that week.

denise

 

[Micca]

We like to take our grown DDs on our trips when they are available. We also used to travel some with DMIL and we always enjoyed that too.

 

[ozarkmom]

Our 19 DS goes away to college but is living with us for the summer. He works some for spending money etc. We really wanted him to go on vacation with us this year but he chose to stay and work at our store and he coaches little league baseball and they were practicing for district. He asked if he could go on a trip with some friends later and we were going to help with the cost of that trip but sadly my Dad passed away and plans changed. Everyone's situation is different though.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

Update:

DD and I sat down this afternoon for a discussion about this. I told her she was welcome to go but we would NOT make up her wages. She said she couldnt go.
Next I offered her the chance to make some extra $ while we are gone. She can stay here and take care of the dog. This will help her out as well as us.
As far as a separate trip down the road, I told her if she would save half of the airfare we would give her the rest. She thinks she can do this but I dont think this will happen given her spending habits. we will see.

thanks for everyones opinions. I think this worked out rather well.

I'm glad it worked out well. She'll get some extra money, you can feel better about everything, and the dog will even enjoy the week, too!