do you take your grown children on vacation?

[HOGFAN]

DD19 (who has her own place) is disappointed that we are not taking her on vacation(to Mississippi) with us next week. Now, #1, we would have to give her some money to survive on because she only works part-time and doesnt get paid time off. And of course, we would have to pay for everything. I think that because she opted to move out, we are no longer obligated to provide her 'vacation'. Do you take your grown, out-of-the-house' kids on vacation?

 

[justplaingoofy]

Sorry, I do not have children, but I will say that once I moved out I knew I was on my own..... My parents are always there for me, but if there is something that I wanted to do that is my responsibility.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Are you taking other children? Is it a family vacation that she's being left out of, or are you just going somewhere with DH and not bringing her along?

 

[HOGFAN]

Are you taking other children? Is it a family vacation that she's being left out of, or are you just going somewhere with DH and not bringing her along?

we are taking her 13 y/o brother who still lives at home(of course)

 

[kdibattista]

While I agree that you are not obligated, I would probably think it's something that you would want to do... I know I would. Now, if she was 30 that would be a different story but at 19 I would think you would be thrilled that she even would want to go on vacation with you

I would cut her some slack

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

I think you need to bring her, or offer to with the caveot that she saves money to cover while she is gone. It's a family vacation that she is being left out of.

 

[kdibattista]

we are taking her 13 y/o brother who still lives at home(of course)

Then I would definitely take her... not even a question for me.

Hope you have a great trip!!!

 

[Cool-Beans]

we are taking her 13 y/o brother who still lives at home(of course)

I'd take her. She probably feels a little removed from the family as is, now that she's living elsewhere, and wants to be included more than wants to go.

But I could also be waaaaay off base.

That's my $.02

 

[bettyann29]

I dont see anything wrong with that.. Its your decision as its your money.. I knew once I moved out that was it.. If I chose to go on vacation with family then I was responsible for it.. Now if you are inviting her to go, then perhaps you should pay.. but if she is going per her idea, then if it were me, I would say its on her.. There has to be a point at which you have to say "if you want to be considered an adult, than you have to take what comes with that" .. You cant pay for your children forever..

We are taking a disneycruise in 2008 and it is our family vacation.. DF's daughter will be 20 then and will be invited and paid for as will be her boyfriend because we are taking DGD.. Since she will be 2, I dont feel we should take her without her mom and dad, since we are inviting them we will pay.. but that may be the only trip we can do that.. There will be 9 of us there which will be extremely expensive and I dont foresee us being able to afford it more than this once.. I feel like its a one time thing.. After that they will have to pay for some if they chose to go..

 

[ntburns22]

I am 27 and married and my sister is 24. My parents are taking us with them to New York in September for a long weekend.

I think I would take her.

 

[Connie of Trenton]

We have three children...2 in college but living at home and another just married and no we don't take them on vacation with us.

 

[JoeEpcotRocks]

We plan on taking them as long as they want to go.

Of course, once they have a full-time job they will have to pay their way (except for lodging as we are DVC members)

 

[MushyMushy]

I would absolutely take my kids when they get older.

My DS 15 doesn't want to go anywhere with us and I'd kill to have him ask.

 

[MAKmom]

We offer to take DD19 with us on vacation. She wants us to take & pay for her boyfriend who she lives with. No he is not my child or part of my family.

I think you should take & pay for your DD19 to go but not cover her living expenses for the lost wages. Like you said she opted to move out.

 

[tiggersmom2]

My parents always ask us to go with them on vacation. Of course we pay our own way (they do insist on treating us to dinner several times which is a-ok with me! )

Whenever my hubby can not go with us, my parents usually insist on paying for everything. I know this is not the norm in everyone's family - but this is just how we do it. Several times a year just my Dad goes to the mountains with my hubby and myself and we pay for his way.....so it all evens out.

 

[ElizaB39]

I am 42 now and my parents took me on vacation when I was 22, and all of my sibs, from 7 years older than me down to 6 years younger, 13 to 29 years old. We were all very happy to be together. We paid our transportation ( I flew from TN to MN) and all of our spending money. They paid for lodging and most of the food (we paid for our alcohol). We occasionally do vacation together now, and there are 20 of us. We now mostly pay our own ways, but mom and dad pay for a large part of the loding.

I would take her if she wants to go unless she is ungrateful, spoiled rotten, taking advantage, wants you to pay her way AND give her spending money and pay for all of her souvies!

 

[ksjayhawks]

I think you should take & pay for your DD19 to go but not cover her living expenses for the lost wages. Like you said she opted to move out.

I agree with this. Take her if she wants to go, but lost wages are on her. That is part of being on your own. If she went on a trip with someone else, you wouldn't cover her lost wages.

 

[J.C.&ALI'SMOM]

I would take her but I don't know your whole story

I am 35 with a DH and 2 kids and we almost always vacation with my parents! Of course we pay our way.

My 28 year old attorney sister sometimes goes on vacation with all of us too and Mom and Dad will let her stay in their room for free and pay for her food, too.

 

[Teacher03]

We still take our 21 and 20 year old with us. They are both in college, and I love the time with them..but I don't know that I would pay for lost wages. We pay for transportation, hotel, food etc. They pay for any extras.
I think I would take her, she probably feels a little left out.

 

[RadioNate]

Is this a college student living away from home and working part time even if school is local? If so I definately say yes. I don't belive in cutting off children if they don't live under your roof.

Heck I'm 31 and my mom reciently bought DS and I tickets to come visit her!

At 19 I know I'd be really upset if my parents cut me out of a family vacation that they were taking my brother on. It is different when you are out of college, married, full time job, out of the house than when you a transitioning onto your own.