Do you stay home with your kids or work?

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Mine does the yard work too as well as work 2 jobs.. tell me what exactly I'm supposed to do with a 8month old baby while I do it.. its not easy to do this type of stuff with small kids who crawl or walk ya know.. Its easier for me to keep all 4 kids in the house while he does the yard quickly so no one gets hurt with flying rocks, & weed wacked (this hurts likes SO*)

DH does all the yard work here too. He actually enjoys it. If I even attempted to mow the grass my allergies would flare up so bad I would be miserable. DH works full time and travels for work a good bit - sometimes gone for months at a time and I stay at home. I do some work in my field from home but before DS2 was born I traveled a good bit. I loved my job and the travel and do miss it but I am lucky that I have been able to scale back and spend more time at home.

There are days I am itching to jump back into the high paced full time business traveling work world with both feet and there are other days that I relish being able to lay down with DS at naptime if I have a headache.

As for the daycare discussions - my oldest was in child care full time from age 8 months on and she has the strongest immune system in the house. My middle child didn't start daycare until age 4 and she still gets sick all the time (at age 10). Whether or not that has anything to do with anything - who knows but in our case it certainly was true.

Bottom line is do what is best for your family and don't let anyone else's opinion matter.

 

[DznyLvr2005]

All I wanted to know was who worked and who stayed home with their kids. I think it's rediculous now because I didn't want to start anything on here!!!!!

I'm am NOT looking for other people to "back me up" oh my god!! I even forgot about this post for the last few days until I checked it this morning!!!

Yesterday I went to the vet to get frontline for my dog and I asked if they were hiring part time. They said Yes, send a resume. So I tell DH this yesterday and he says.. ready??? He says, "no I will do overtime, you really should be home right now, I'm sorry etc...etc, having a rough week at work, don't mean to yell, etc, etc..."... so I got into the fact that I was going to work, became OK with it really. PLus the hours were 8:30-2:30. He gets home at 8:30 so I don't know if that would have worked out anyway. ??

But I never said anything bad about working mothers either!!! I saw someone wrote that I said that.... I said that FOR ME, I would want to be with my child. This is blown waaaaaay out of proportion now!
All I said was that since now it's been a year it will be way harder for me now to leave her, than it would have been in the beginning.

 

[wvjules]

All I wanted to know was who worked and who stayed home with their kids. I think it's rediculous now because I didn't want to start anything on here!!!!!

I'm am NOT looking for other people to "back me up" oh my god!! I even forgot about this post for the last few days until I checked it this morning!!!

Yesterday I went to the vet to get frontline for my dog and I asked if they were hiring part time. They said Yes, send a resume. So I tell DH this yesterday and he says.. ready??? He says, "no I will do overtime, you really should be home right now, I'm sorry etc...etc, having a rough week at work, don't mean to yell, etc, etc..."... so I got into the fact that I was going to work, became OK with it really. PLus the hours were 8:30-2:30. He gets home at 8:30 so I don't know if that would have worked out anyway. ??

But I never said anything bad about working mothers either!!! I saw someone wrote that I said that.... I said that FOR ME, I would want to be with my child. This is blown waaaaaay out of proportion now!
All I said was that since now it's been a year it will be way harder for me now to leave her, than it would have been in the beginning.

Threads take on a life of their own.

Do you have someone proofread your resume?

 

[Robinrs]

That's the problem with the Mommy Wars, from both sides. It makes women feel bad/wrong for following their dreams, whatever those dreams may be. Men never have to think about this crap!

Since I AM the "man" in my family I don't worry about it or fret about what people think. What bugs me is we put the different sexes in a niche, not everyone fills that bill. In the corporate world very successful women are still beating the glass ceiling due to the fact that men are considered the typical wage earner. They STILL make more and rise higher in corporations in 2009.

Forget about the Mommy wars, try fighting the creepy guy who thinks you SHOULD be home nursing your kids because his is while he hits on every woman in the office. I've seen 30 years of this and not much has changed in that time.

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Threads take on a life of their own.

Do you have someone proofread your resume?

I have a resume. I worked at AT&T for 5 years corporate. Then was assistant office manager for 7 years at a surgeons office.

 

[Robinrs]

All I wanted to know was who worked and who stayed home with their kids. I think it's rediculous now because I didn't want to start anything on here!!!!!

I'm am NOT looking for other people to "back me up" oh my god!! I even forgot about this post for the last few days until I checked it this morning!!!

Yesterday I went to the vet to get frontline for my dog and I asked if they were hiring part time. They said Yes, send a resume. So I tell DH this yesterday and he says.. ready??? He says, "no I will do overtime, you really should be home right now, I'm sorry etc...etc, having a rough week at work, don't mean to yell, etc, etc..."... so I got into the fact that I was going to work, became OK with it really. PLus the hours were 8:30-2:30. He gets home at 8:30 so I don't know if that would have worked out anyway. ??

But I never said anything bad about working mothers either!!! I saw someone wrote that I said that.... I said that FOR ME, I would want to be with my child. This is blown waaaaaay out of proportion now!
All I said was that since now it's been a year it will be way harder for me now to leave her, than it would have been in the beginning.

Wow, you've been thru a roller coaster ride, huh? Wishing you luck with whatEVER you decide. Just make sure it's YOUR idea whatever you do.

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Wow, you've been thru a roller coaster ride, huh? Wishing you luck with whatEVER you decide. Just make sure it's YOUR idea whatever you do.

thank you

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

All I wanted to know was who worked and who stayed home with their kids. I think it's rediculous now because I didn't want to start anything on here!!!!!

I'm am NOT looking for other people to "back me up" oh my god!! I even forgot about this post for the last few days until I checked it this morning!!!

Yesterday I went to the vet to get frontline for my dog and I asked if they were hiring part time. They said Yes, send a resume. So I tell DH this yesterday and he says.. ready??? He says, "no I will do overtime, you really should be home right now, I'm sorry etc...etc, having a rough week at work, don't mean to yell, etc, etc..."... so I got into the fact that I was going to work, became OK with it really. PLus the hours were 8:30-2:30. He gets home at 8:30 so I don't know if that would have worked out anyway. ??

But I never said anything bad about working mothers either!!! I saw someone wrote that I said that.... I said that FOR ME, I would want to be with my child. This is blown waaaaaay out of proportion now!
All I said was that since now it's been a year it will be way harder for me now to leave her, than it would have been in the beginning.

as someone said - threads like these take on alife of their own! DO waht is best for YOUR family!!!

I am a SAHM with an older DD. It works for us. Could we have more money - sure. I like staying home and as long as we work it out financially and can afford it - we're fine! I don't usually explain myself - and never apologize - to anyone. Though I often find myself facing pointed comments and questions - I will never understand how it is any else's business.

I have nothing against working moms and would never judge how they live.

Again, the only thing that matters is what works for each family.....

 

[Colleen27]

Forget about the Mommy wars, try fighting the creepy guy who thinks you SHOULD be home nursing your kids because his is while he hits on every woman in the office. I've seen 30 years of this and not much has changed in that time.

Ugh, been there too. Before my SAHM days, I worked in a male dominated profession (IT) and ran into enough chauvinist pigs to last several lifetimes! The worst were some of the end-users I was responsible for training - middle aged married men who thought nothing of hitting on the 20yo contract techie in the most overt and inappropriate ways! The one saving grace about that job was that I worked for a consulting company, so none of the creeps I had to deal with on site knew anything about my family situation and none of them had any real power/authority over me.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I'm a working FT mom here. My son loves daycare (15 months - he's been in since 3 months). Do I miss him terribly? Yes. Do I have to work? Yes. Do I enjoy my work? Yes. Most of my friends/family that are women work. It's doable, I promise. I've made my hours 7-3:30 so I have more time with him in the evening.

 

[Kriddlet]

I beleive you need to do what's right for you and your family, no matter what anyone else says.

I work full time, my DD's are now both in school, so it's not as hard. But when they were younger, I would have given anything to be a SAHM, but financially we couldn't afford it. I do miss them everyday, but I like my job. And having them at school now, it's easier since I know, even if I was home, they would still be gone!

 

[DznyLvr2005]

THank you... I'm really excited right now because I just found out that I can pay off HALF of my consolidation card in the next week!!!
When I worked I had this investment fun set up by my employer. Well I inquired about it today and because I quit my job rather than being fired, I can take the money and use it to pay off a HUGE chunk of my debt!!!
I feel so much better about this now!!

 

[Skatermom23]

You absolutely do what is right for your family and do not listen to what anyone else thinks!! My two are now 16 & 18 and I am still a SAHM ...planning on becoming a SAHW! Why? Because this works for us and it makes life for my DH easier. If I listened to all the poeple who tell me I should be working, I think I would go nuts. Every family is different and what works for one isn't always right for another. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

I am a stay at home mom and I homeschool my kids. I make a little money by babysitting my ex-husband's little girl during the week, though.

 

[wvjules]

THank you... I'm really excited right now because I just found out that I can pay off HALF of my consolidation card in the next week!!!
When I worked I had this investment fun set up by my employer. Well I inquired about it today and because I quit my job rather than being fired, I can take the money and use it to pay off a HUGE chunk of my debt!!!
I feel so much better about this now!!

Personally I think you need to stop depending on bonuses, taxes, etc to pay off your debt. That's living dangerously. (BTDT(sort of)-have the t-shirt). Cancel the dagone trip and use THAT money to pay even more towards the debt. Then maybe your DH wouldn't snap at you to go back to work. There's no way I couldn't work knowing that my family was in that much debt, let alone enjoy a freakin vacaiton.

 

[Christine]

You absolutely do what is right for your family and do not listen to what anyone else thinks!! My two are now 16 & 18 and I am still a SAHM ...planning on becoming a SAHW! Why? Because this works for us and it makes life for my DH easier. If I listened to all the poeple who tell me I should be working, I think I would go nuts. Every family is different and what works for one isn't always right for another. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Yeah, but what would you do if it was your DH telling you that you should be working and not just the "everyone else" out there?

 

[Aristomommy]

I've worked full time, part time, and was a SAHM for a while. No matter which path I was on at the time, someone, somewhere had an opinion about it being the wrong one. Unfortunately when it comes to this choice as a mom (and breastfeeding, but I won't go there) people tend to put down the choices that others make, probably to justify their own choices and make them feel better.

ITA!!!

I have been a full-time, part-time and PRN working mom and a SAHM. Each time I made a choice there would be someone with an opinion how I should make a different choice. DH and I chose for me to stay at home when our children were babies. I could pick up a shift here and there on the weekends just to keep my skills up and also to find a social outlet. The good thing about my career is that I can work as much or as little as I want. When DH was laid off, I worked often 12 hour days 6 days a week to try to supplements his income. While I don't want to always work that many hours, I am grateful that the medical field offers this flexibility.

Currently I work while DD is at school. DS4 goes to a preschool program that has after care. He stays 2 extra hours there and loves it. I am home to do homework with DD and can take time off for school events. This summer I will work 4 days a week about 4-5 hours and have a babysitter come to the house. My kids are excited since they adore her and I know they will have a fun summer.

There are bad examples of moms who work at home or outside of the home. Children are not harmed in daycare or in a relatives care while a mom is working. The mommy wars are ridiculous IMHO. I've done both and my children didn't suffer either way.

I have found that the people who criticize most harshly f

 

[Colleen27]

THank you... I'm really excited right now because I just found out that I can pay off HALF of my consolidation card in the next week!!!
When I worked I had this investment fun set up by my employer. Well I inquired about it today and because I quit my job rather than being fired, I can take the money and use it to pay off a HUGE chunk of my debt!!!
I feel so much better about this now!!

That's great!

 

[Fintastic]

I have to say I resented my mother through much of my childhood for not working- my day worked long days in the city so she could stay at home and I really resented that he had to work so hard and we didn't get to see him much just so she didn't have to work.

I resented my mom too. I knew that we could have a better lifestyle if she worked, but she just sat at home all day. In the meantime, my dad went to work, then came home and did all the laundry and cooking and cleaning that my mom didn't lift a finger to do all day. Even then I saw that if she was going to be home, she should be doing those things!

I admit that I don't understand why moms would work if they didn't HAVE to. I don't believe at all that kids are better off at home vs. going to daycare or whatever (DD loves hers, and they certainly do more activities than I could think of!). It's just HARD to juggle two full-time jobs and a family. If DD gets sick, DH and I always argue over who "has" to stay home with her. It hurts my heart not to be the one taking care of her but I can't always take off work for it. Also, weekends are "chore and errand" days because we can't get things done during the week. Dinners are usually takeout or something we can zap in the microwave. Doctor's appointments have to be scheduled around one parent's (usually mine) lunch hour. I just feel that for my family, it would be so much easier to have somebody at home taking care of the day-to-day things.

I've never had the choice whether to work or stay home. I'd love to try on the SAHM uniform for a while - who knows, I may hate it. But I'm not personally fulfilled by working (I hate my job, in fact) so it's hard not to feel resentful of the moms walking their kids to school every morning while I'm driving my DD to daycare.

 

[beattyfamily]

I resented my mom too. I knew that we could have a better lifestyle if she worked, but she just sat at home all day. In the meantime, my dad went to work, then came home and did all the laundry and cooking and cleaning that my mom didn't lift a finger to do all day. Even then I saw that if she was going to be home, she should be doing those things!

I admit that I don't understand why moms would work if they didn't HAVE to. I don't believe at all that kids are better off at home vs. going to daycare or whatever (DD loves hers, and they certainly do more activities than I could think of!). It's just HARD to juggle two full-time jobs and a family. If DD gets sick, DH and I always argue over who "has" to stay home with her. It hurts my heart not to be the one taking care of her but I can't always take off work for it. Also, weekends are "chore and errand" days because we can't get things done during the week. Dinners are usually takeout or something we can zap in the microwave. Doctor's appointments have to be scheduled around one parent's (usually mine) lunch hour. I just feel that for my family, it would be so much easier to have somebody at home taking care of the day-to-day things.

I've never had the choice whether to work or stay home. I'd love to try on the SAHM uniform for a while - who knows, I may hate it. But I'm not personally fulfilled by working (I hate my job, in fact) so it's hard not to feel resentful of the moms walking their kids to school every morning while I'm driving my DD to daycare.