Do you place a lot of importance on your child being on the school's honor roll?

[luvflorida]

I have ALWAYS expected all of my children to be on the honor roll, especially in high school. Now, before I get flamed, I'd like to say that it was never difficult for any of my kids to make honor roll, and I wasn't expecting them to do something that they weren't capable of doing.

My oldest daughter was always very self-motivated and pushed herself because she wanted to. She knew what she wanted and went after it. She graduated with high honors, and was sixth in her class, out of 180+ seniors. And, she would have been ranked fourth or third, if all her honors and AP classes had been weighted, but that's another debate.

Now, my youngest daughter, a HS Freshman this year, is no way near as motivated as her older sister. She is every bit as intelligent, and scores extremely high on national standardized tests. Since I know she can easily make honor roll, I expect her to do so, and she has always been on it, BUT it is a constant struggle. She has a laid back attitude about homework, studying for tests, etc.

The frustrating thing is that I feel she is doing the work and getting good grades, not for herself, but for me and her dad because she knows we expect her to. If we didn't stay on top of things and constantly check to make sure she was doing what she should be doing, I really don't think she'd make honor roll, or care that she didn't.

I don't want to sit back and let her just slide by when I know she is capable of so much more. Without studying, she'd probably be a "B/C" student, but by putting in a little effort, she easily makes "A's".

So, yes, I expect her to be on the honor roll. How about your teen? Is it important to you, and him/her?

 

[grinningghost]

I do, but my reasons are a little different. My DD was always one of the "smart" kids starting way back in preschool. I didn't push her when she was young, it came easily for her.

So, she set her own course, and now I just encourage her to stay on it - because I know she's capable.

 

[Twinkles6892]

Meh, I'm a freshman too.

I wouldn't put so much pressure on the girl, especially since her sister was such a remarkable student.

 

[denisenh]

yes, I expect my kids to be on the honor roll. A and B's, nothing less. I know that they can do it though.
12 yo DD is in all honors classes and does not put much effort into her work.
8 yo DD has to work for it but she does make honor roll.

 

[transparant]

Having 6 kids, I have some that are quite capable, and a few that struggle a bit. If I know they can do it, than yes I do place importance on being on the honor roll. However the few that struggle, I always just want them to do the best they can.

 

[kasar]

You're the mom - you're supposed to expect them to do their best, that's what we do. If you know they CAN do it, then why would we expect anything different. Now, expecting and getting are two different things. If you raise the bar and she fails to reach it, that's where the tough part of being a parent comes in. I guess all you can do is love them and tell them you expect them to better next time. And then the next time, I guess you do the same thing!

 

[luvflorida]

Meh, I'm a freshman too.

I wouldn't put so much pressure on the girl, especially since her sister was such a remarkable student.

Hey, have you been talking to my daughter?! She has said the very same thing to me!

Seriously though, I know she's capable of it, so I want her to work up to her potential.

 

[Feralpeg]

I couldn't care less about honor roll. I do expect DD to do the best she can. That being said, she is always on the honor roll and carries a 3.97 grade point average.

 

[bsnyder]

The tricky part comes when they get to be high school age. At some point, they have to be self-motivated - you won't always be there to stay on top of things and check that she's doing the work.

 

[bballmom56]

The tricky part comes when they get to be high school age. At some point, they have to be self-motivated - you won't always be there to stay on top of things and check that she's doing the work.

That's true. But for my DS, his grades are actually better in HS than they were in middle school. We have a very small K-8 school - only 46 in the whole 8th grade. There was a lot of peer pressure in various ways that he couldn't escape because we were so small. In the larger HS, where classes are grouped more by ability, he's with other kids that are similar to him and it's ok to do well. (It wasn't "cool" to get good grades in MS - then you were a geek). I didn't put a lot of pressure on him myself because I knew he was capable and was struggling with social issues. He has made honor roll every marking period in HS (he's a soph.) and only made it 2 times in MS. It's important to him.

 

[disykat]

None. I have one child that I may "expect" to be on it - but I would never make an issue of it. The main reason is that my other child probably won't be on it. We try to emphasize doing your best. While for many children that may mean honor roll, for others it doesn't.

This is new to both me and dh as we both grew up in families where honor roll was kind of a given - no pressure, but just automatic. Our younger son is great at math, but he was a late talker and struggles with language arts.

 

[Becky2005]

Hmmm....guess I don't really have much opinion on it since my oldest is in 5th grade and they don't even give out grades here on report cards (that will start next year).

Honestly, I don't care if they gets on the honor roll or not. If they do great, if not as long as they are doing their best, etc... (I have one son that I will be thrilled if I get him TO High School because I know he will thrive in that setting where you can customize your classes - take Calculus for one class and then basic English for another. As opposed to 25 kids all learning all the subjects in the same room).

At least in the scheme of my life, being on the honor roll or not really never was relevant to how things play out later in life. My sister was a straight A student, didn't have to hardly make an effort, graduated with Highest Honors (I think she might have even been National Honor Society? I'm not sure!). I was an A/B student (except my one D in Geometry that my dad wasn't thrilled with but *I* was extremely happy I even passed the class, so I was actually proud of that D - I hate Geometry, didn't grasp it but it was required to take before you could take College Algebra), graduated High Honors, etc... I don't think I have ever been asked once after getting out of High School if I was ever on an honor roll. I *have* been asked if I graduated. My brother certainly was never on the honor roll and barely passed High School. He's doing just fine in the real world (and at times better than us who WERE on the honor roll!).

Then again, growing up the only way you knew you made the honor roll was if you saw it published in the paper. I didn't even know I was graduating with High Honors until they told me right before graduation. LOL!

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Not an issue yet in our house, but I would say that I would expect honor roll in most cases (shouldn't be an issue, so far they're doing really well), but I would certainly understand if a child took a really hard course that they struggled with, that maybe they didn't get the best grades but learned a lot in. But if that were the case, I might forgive one quarter, but get the child whatever help s/he might need.

 

[dg39]

We only expect the best that my dd can do. I would love for her to be on the honor roll, but, I love the fact that she's doing the best she can. I wouldn't obsess over it. She's young now and although they do have honor roll in her school, its ok to us that she's not on it. She gets all A's, except in Math where she gets B's. Math is a struggle for her and with her getting the grades that she is now, is like my own personal honor roll for her. My older two girls were never in honor roll in elementary or high school. They are now in the college of their choice and are doing extremely well. So in my case honor roll for my older dd's meant nothing for them. They still got into a good college.

 

[tiggerlover]

All we ever expect from DS is that he does the best he is capable doing. He is an honor roll (A/B) student and he aspires to be on the principals list (A), but that is him pushing himself, not us pushing him. We told him that as long as he does his best that is all we could ask for.

 

[Lynn CC]

DS who is a senior now learned early on that a grade of C is not acceptable in our house! I think just that fact alone gave him the drive to learn when he was in elementary school.
Now that I sit back and watch him in his senior year he is in as many AP classes as his schedule will allow, AP English, AP Calculus,etc. it's been this way for two years now and he pushes himself to the limit and he's loving every minute of it!
I think kids need a little motivation, don't give up on your daughter, I think she'll thank you someday Who cares who she's doing it for, as long as she's doing it, right? Work first, then play especially in High School.

 

[Southern4sure]

Up until a few years ago, I expected my boys to make honor roll and there was no excuses. I have an aunt that works for a large local college in admissions/counselor and I asked what kind of diploma would help my son (who was about to enter 9th grade) needed to work toward that would help land some scholarships. I was surprised at her answer. She said most colleges do not look at just the "grades" for college admission. They look for a well rounded individual, one that is involved in the community, does volunteer work, member of any clubs at school and unrelated to school, involved in sports-again, it doesn't have to be with the school and the list goes on. GPA is important, but not the only thing that gets a child into college. I still encourage honor roll, but I don't harp on it as much.

Southern4sure

 

[Mskanga]

My daughter has always been on the honor roll , she's in sixth grade now and the only time she never made it to honor roll was last year on the third quarter because one of her peers had said that "she could get by with C's " . My daughter decided then to "lay back" and not put any effort into the subject , she got a C on reading no less!!! I didn't have to tell her anything , the fact that she didn't make the honor roll crushed her more than anything because she always strives for the best.
Her real wake up call was when her peer was placed into summer school ( mandatory ) and she is now in after school homework club too. She's been back on the honor roll since then and truthfully I do not expect anything less than her full potential. If she had any kind of problem and she could not make honor roll , I would be fine as long as she is doing her best.

 

[Gupsmom]

My oldest is only 7, so I'm not exactly sure how mine will do in school. My kids are doing fantastic now. I honestly doubt they'll struggle but who knows...

I expect them to put in the effort. I coasted through high school with a 94 average and it really came back to hurt me for a while in college. I just want the kids to do their work and put in the effort. If that means high honor roll for one child and Merit roll for another, that's fine.

I also hope that they don't take it quite as seriously as I did. I know that sounds strange. I didn't have to work hard because my course load wasn't as hard as it should have been...but I was grade driven in the courses I did take. I now realize that high school just isn't quite as serious as I took it to be...crying over an 89 was just not worth it. I think we make kids think that the way they are in high school is the way they'll be for life...so if you're not popular and brilliant in high school, you're doomed. It's just not true. Some of the most popular kids, with the best grades in high school have bombed in life. I just don't want the kids thinking that they're destined to live in the same little box that they exist within during their teen years. I expect good grades with great effort....but I also want them to have fun and be well rounded. An 89 child that plays band, is in a play and/or plays sports is better than a 96 kid that never gets his head out of the books.

Jess

 

[The Mystery Machine]

13yo dd has always been on the honor roll each quarter in middle school. This is her 8th grade year and she is pushing herself a little harder. She made all A's last quarter (never has done that, btw).
This quarter I don't think she is going to do it.

That being said, my girls are expected to do well, but they do well without to much effort. I think dd will have a serious wake up call next year in High School. ESP....we are moving to Texas and goodness knows what is up with the "TAKS" test.