Do you pay for other family members on vacation?

[Irin997]

I had no idea I could have gone on all these free vacations all these years. I mean, my friends and co-workers were already paying for the lodging, right?

Seriously, I can't believe this guy had the nerve to say that. Especially after now reading that everyone else going on this trip is paying their share.

 

[branv]

I'm going to get out my crystal ball here....its flawed but....

If you take him along he won't go to the parks (they are SO expensive). He will sit by the pool in the house you've rented - complain about the heater on the pool not being warm enough - eat the food you bought (his contributions to the groceries will be minimal), and leave you the dishes each day to clean up. You'll come back from the park - frankly exhausted from a full day at Disney with kids - to a guy lounging by the pool who believes that - in addition to being his provider of lodging, you are also his maid - who has eaten the entire package of hot dogs you were going to cook up for dinner, exhausted the soda, and downed a frozen pizza - but kindly mentions that perhaps you should go grocery shopping yet this evening, there isn't any food in the house - and he WOULD have gone and picked up groceries (yeah, right) but you guys had the car.

I absolutely second that prediction!

At this point, I'm actually trying to imagine what redeeming qualities this man has to make him even worth having as a friend, let alone taking on vacation. If he were a leech, but at least a charming leech, okay...maybe. But he's proven so far he's not just a leech, but childish, self-involved, uncouth, spoiled and rude.

If anything, his "plans" to hang out around the pool while your family goes to the parks make it clear that you have no reason to feel guilty that you didn't invite him on vacation before, let alone now. He didn't feel left out on those previous vacations because he wants to be a part of your family or enjoys spending time with you. He resents that he didn't get to take advantage of all those free vacations he thinks you're handing out.

Frankly, you don't owe him anything, let alone a thoughtful response. I'd just tell him you aren't handing out free vacations, nor is he acting in a way that makes you want to spend your vacation with him, so he's on his own.

 

[cm8]

OP, to answer your question we have in fact paid for other family members to vacation with us. The family members in question has always been a niece or nephew and that worked out well for us since he or she could bunk with the other children present. I have paid for tickets, meals, and souvenirs and that is what I would expect of their parents as well.

I would not allow this guy to tag along. Please don't buy into his drama. If he does not pay, he can not go. I'm sure everyone else would love the chance to have the $240.00 in their pocket as well, but they have gladly forked it over for a wonderful trip. For what you seem to be providing, I know plenty would love to jump at a chance like that!


Leave him home and make it clear that the real reason he is not going this time is because he chose not to pay his portion. He needs to man up

Have a great trip

 

[3pletprincesses]

Well if others are paying, he has to pay too and that would be my answer to him.

 

[eyor44]

We took my mother once and she paid a portion of her way. We asked if she wanted to go with us and set a amount which she paid well before we went.

Now oldest DS (25yrs, working full time) wants to go and I have done the same with him. Here is the amount and I need to know by X date if you are going with us.

I would leave the "friend" home. He should be offering more for your generous offer, not negotiating for less. I think the ride home would be miserable.

 

[Dismom55]

Your friend is trying to get a free vacation, either he should pay his part or not go. Let him know that as much as you would enjoy spending your vacation together, you feel it only fair he chip in the amount set. Let him know that you would understand if he wants to back out, but that is how you see it as fair.

We took an extra person to Disney several years ago, we are a family of 4, with the extra person that meant 2 rooms or a suite. We did not need the 2nd room or the suite by ourselves. So we agreed that he would pay the cost of a single room, but that we would get the suite so he would be with the family and not by himself. I also gave him a final date by which he should pay us or back out so we had time to arrange for a regular room. Also that after that date if he chose to back out, I would only be able to return his money if I could get the money from Disney meaning we get the regular room. He and his parents felt this was a fair arrangement. The set date was well before our 45 dys as a bit of insurance. We all abided by the rules set out and had a blast. I put everything in WRITING, just to avoid misunderstandings. (our extra guest/friend was of age, yet still lived with his parents, that is why I involved them)

 

[punkin]

I have paid for family, but only if I want to pay and I told them in advance. I am about to pay for a very expensive trip (with my family) for my nephew (28 and employed), but I am paying because I want to see him and spend time with him, and who has time for an old auntie otherwise.

Generaly though, if you are coming with me, I expect you to pay.

 

[ConnieB]

We are renting a house for our next trip. We asked a friend to come with us because last time we went on vacation he seemed upset that he wasn't invited. The house we are renting is large and if this person goes with he would have his own room and 2 of our boys would sleep in the family room. If he chooses not to go, our boys would get this room. Our boys would probably prefer to sleep in the family room anyway so that is not an issue.

This person asked how much it would be and we said about $240 for the week for the house, plus tickets, food and gas. At first he said yes he wanted to go. Now he is saying that since we are already renting the house even without him that he doesn't feel like he should pay. Money is tight, but he spends money on tons of things he doesn't need. We were pretty speechless when he said that he doesn't feel like he should have to pay. I am not sure how to handle this.

Yes, we can afford to pay his way. But I feel like we are being pressured to pay for it now. We were just trying to be nice because he kept dropping hints that he wanted to go. We feel that $240 is cheap for a 7 night rental. Couldn't get a hotel room for that amount. We took the total amount of the house rental and divided it by the bedrooms to figure out how much it would be.
Pros - one extra driver, a little extra help with the kids (not much)
Cons - losing a bedroom, extra expenses
WWYD?

I'd tell him things have changed and sorry you can't come. Resentment is not what I would want to bring along on vacation with me! Cheapo friends tend to beget a lot of resentment.

Yes, your rental costs will not be different whether he comes or not, but he's taking a bedroom away from your children for heavens sake. Doesn't matter if they'll be happy in the living room.....he should pay a small amount toward the rental. And his fair share of food, gas, and everything else. Since he's dickering about it now, one can only wonder what fun he's going to be while on the vacation.

If "I" were the one being invited even if you said don't worry about the rental, I'd be making sure that I somehow thanked you for the invite....a nice dinner out for everyone, some special treat while we were there, bringing presents for the boys, something. I detest freeloaders and never ever come to someone's house empty handed, can't imagine freeloading on someone's vacation!

Ok...that's my opinion, but then I'm not big on taking other people on vacation with us, lol....so take it with a grain of salt...but don't let someone else ruin or stress out your vacation. He'll survive if he doesn't go...and maybe your friendship will too.