Do you make your children go places?

[disneydreamersx4]

On Sunday our whole family got invited to a birthday party for an 8yo (I have a 9yo who plays with the birthday girl). This is a little girl that I watch at the bus stop until her grandma picks her up. My DD12 did not want to go to the party because she doesn't know anyone except for the little girl. I made her go.

DD12 also wants to stay home other times too like if I have to go to a doctor appointment. That I let her choose to stay home.

 

[MichelleVW]

On Sunday our whole family got invited to a birthday party for an 8yo (I have a 9yo who plays with the birthday girl). This is a little girl that I watch at the bus stop until her grandma picks her up. My DD12 did not want to go to the party because she doesn't know anyone except for the little girl. I made her go.

DD12 also wants to stay home other times too like if I have to go to a doctor appointment. That I let her choose to stay home.

No, I wouldn't make a 12 year old go to a birthday party for an 8 year old if she didn't want to go. Not unless it was a family birthday party, not some kid at the bus stop.

 

[luvmy3]

No, I wouldn't make a 12 year old go to a birthday party for an 8 year old if she didn't want to go. Not unless it was a family birthday party, not some kid at the bus stop.

Ditto.

 

[Cinerbelle]

I have a 12 year old DD and I wouldn't make her go.

 

[mjkacmom]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Grandma's birthday dinner - of course! One of ds's 8 games that weekend? No. I wouldn't have dragged my older kids to a birthday party for one of my younger kids' friends. I let dd14 and ds12 skip out on bbq's some of my friends have, because my friends have only younger kids, friends of my younger kids, and they'd be bored to tears. Why should they be miserable?

 

[abdmom]

I have a dd11 (almost 12) and I wouldn't make her go.

 

[disneydreamersx4]

My thinking was the whole family was invited and these people are trying to become friendly with us. I thought it was no different than going to an 8yo cousin's party that my 12yo wouldn't have someone there her age either

 

[lovesmurfs]

On Sunday our whole family got invited to a birthday party for an 8yo (I have a 9yo who plays with the birthday girl). This is a little girl that I watch at the bus stop until her grandma picks her up. My DD12 did not want to go to the party because she doesn't know anyone except for the little girl. I made her go.

DD12 also wants to stay home other times too like if I have to go to a doctor appointment. That I let her choose to stay home.

The party, yes I would (and do even for my DS16). Kids need to realize that sometimes we do things we don't want to do. Welcome to life -- He always seems able to find something that is good about the trip and often thanks me afterward.

Doctors appointments, etc.? Nope. I do have a requirement that he attend at least 1 or 2 of DD11's softball games, and I require the same of DD for DS's events.

 

[scrapbookworm]

A four year age difference is pretty significant. What interests an 8 yo wouldn't necessarily interest a 12 yo old. Expecting a 7th grader to play with 3rd graders is a bit much. I have seen this first hand in Girl Scouts. I personally wouldn't have made her attend.

 

[Arielle22]

My DDs and 17 and 15. The older one does not always want to attend family functions (usually at my brother's pool). However she is required to go, even if she just sits in his house.

DH and I believe that if she is there, she will talk to someone, maybe her cousins who are in their early twenties while at home she would be glued to her computer.

In the OP's case, I would not make her go to the party. I don't think it will enhance the party to have a bored 12 year old there and it might just put pressure on you to leave the party early.

 

[MichelleVW]

My thinking was the whole family was invited and these people are trying to become friendly with us. I thought it was no different than going to an 8yo cousin's party that my 12yo wouldn't have someone there her age either

But the 8 year old cousin is family....big difference.

 

[r&kmommy]

Tough one. In your example, no, I wouldn't make her go. I'd also let her stay home from your doctor's appointment. I let ds stay home when I have errands to do (if my dh is working from home, ds doesn't stay home alone) ... ds is miserable on errands so why make him go? If it were a family birthday party then yes, I'd make her go.

My dh's aunt makes her college age kids (the 3 who live @ home - 2 go to school and work p/t during school and f/t during summer, and the 3rd has full time job) take the day off from work to go to family parties!! Granted, it's the weekend and they work retail jobs so it's not awfully hard to get time off, but still. That's absurd.

 

[MIGrandma]

No, I wouldn't make a 12 year old go to a birthday party for an 8 year old if she didn't want to go. Not unless it was a family birthday party, not some kid at the bus stop.

I agree.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My oldest is only ten and at present will go to a party for any person of any age if invited. She is in a "doesn't want to grow up" phase and would have no problem attending a party for a much younger non-relative child.
While I cannot predict what she will decide at age 12...knowing her as I do...not attending would be a privilege and depending on her attitude, attending would be a practice in grace and humility. But given our circle of friends, most birthday parties do not know age limitations on fun--I have seen plenty of Tweens and teens enjoying a younger age birthday party. But typically, it is hosted in a manner so that everyone will have a good time. YMMV of course...but my bottom line answer depends on the attitude of my child if they did opt to decline.

 

[golfgal]

For this, no, I would not have made her go. For family functions, the kids are required to go to things we are required to go to . For family functions on DH's side the kids all WANT to go to things-heck even DS18 made sure his work scheduled worked so he could make it to the annual 4th of July party. For things on my side of the family we don't make them go to most everything because we don't want to be there either The kids are required to attend one of whatever-band concert, basketball game, etc. The one exception is golf tournaments because they are long.