Do you limit the amount of time your teen spends with their boyfriend/girlfriend?

[rcpae]

I have a 15 yo DD who is "going out with" our friends son who is also 15. They both play competitive sports and don't attend the same high school. They attempt to see each other Sat/Sun and if possible, they will also try for one week night but it is usually seeing the other one play a game and then maybe hanging out a little afterwards.

In your opinion is this too much? We are getting the feeling that his parents are feeling like they see each other too much.

 

[ckay87]

I have a 15 yo DD who is "going out with" our friends son who is also 15. They both play competitive sports and don't attend the same high school. They attempt to see each other Sat/Sun and if possible, they will also try for one week night but it is usually seeing the other one play a game and then maybe hanging out a little afterwards.

In your opinion is this too much? We are getting the feeling that his parents are feeling like they see each other too much.

I'm not big on restricting healthy social interaction with my teenagers, overall. What are they going to do otherwise...sit in front of the TV? So that's my overall theory on the matter. My 16 yo DS spends about that much time with his GF and I'm fine with that. Working on relationship skills (in an age-appropriate way ) is important for them, I think.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Not that I'm there quite yet, but I think my only concern would be if their grades started to go downhill. As it is now, as soon as DD's grades start to slip, I get the phone, the computer gets restricted and so does her TV. If they can maintain their grades, fulfull their obligations to teams and family and get enough sleep, let them be together. JMHO.

 

[welovedisneyx4]

I don't see a problem, especially since they don't go to the same school. They can't be boyfriend/girlfriend if they don't ever spend any time together.

Is the boyfriend avoiding "family time" and/or other activites b/c he wants to see his girlfriend? That might be something the parents didn't like.

 

[rcpae]

I think from their perspective, and I understand, most of their free time is together. They both play varsity sports at school and travel teams additionally. So really, they do spend most of their free time together.....but it really is the only time they have.

We consider when our DD is at school then she is around friends, but additionally when she is practicing or at games, then they are with other friends also.

Just curious....

 

[bgirl29]

It does sound to me that their son is not having any time left for family time. If they both play varsity sports as well as a travel team when are they home? When they are together are they spending time at his home? I guess I can see his moms point. Maybe if they want to be together that much they need to spend some of it hanging out at his house? If they do hang out at his home with the family maybe his mom will let him know that she wants him to spend time solo at home. I think it is up to her though to handle with her son.

 

[rcpae]

Yes, as I said, I tend to agree with and see their perspective also. Both of them tend to hang out more here....but they do hang out there also. They tend to be here more just because of transportation issues.


Hopefully things will settle down this summer since the varsity sports will be over.

 

[HunnyPots]

Enforcing limits on time spent together only seems to make them more determined to see each other. What I have found to work better is to keep your own child so busy with other things such as school work, chores, family gatherings, etc. that there is very little time left for the gf/bf.

 

[rcpae]

HunnyPots: I totally agree. Which is one of the reasons I was glad that each of them had someone that was involved with sports. It just naturally limits your free time. It's nice to not have to say no (trust me, I say it OFTEN) as a parent....but have her figure out that something won't work due to a sports obligation.

 

[Jennasis]

I think history has shown again and again that attempting to restrict teens from seeing a bf/gf doesn't work at all.