Do you let your kids do sports/activities you don't enjoy?

[MIGrandma]

Our DS played football in high school. I absolutely hate football. But, I was in the bleachers at every single game, cheering him/team on. It didn't matter if the weather was nice, or if it was windy and raining, or snowing. We were in the bleachers at all of his games.

I wasn't into sports at all in high school, but was in the band and we put shows on at the football games, both pre-game and at halftime. Neither of my parents ever came. My Dad worked nights and said when I was a senior he would come. Well, when I was a senior I gave up band so I could be on the co-op work program. So he never saw me. It hurt. And I vowed I would never do that to my own children. Whatever they were involved in, we went and supported them. Didn't matter if I liked the activity/sport or not. It was their choice to make, not mine.

 

[Planogirl]

I didn't dislike it but I found DS' sport dull because the meets take forever. DS participated in amateur wrestling for four years and it was often painful to sit there as long as the meets took. In fact I didn't make it for the all weekend meets very often.

 

[hereyago]

Yes, because it's not about me having to enjoy it, it's if they enjoy it and learn things like team work,etc.

 

[walkerag]

Soccer..

DD has played soccer since she was 5 years old. It is a rec. league and they do not even keep score. She never really tried very hard at it though.
Then, last spring she wanted to try softball. When she started, it was coach pitch and she was sooo happy. She loved it and we loved watching her because she was enjoying it so much. She turned 9 in August so when fall ball rolled around she had to move up to fast pitch and she hated it!! We (including her) were all disappointed because she loved it so much before. She got hit in the knee with the ball in the second game and for the rest of the season she was stepping out of the batters box everytime she was up to bat because she was so scared of being hit again. She has anxiety issues along with ADHD.
This season, she is back in soccer. Her hearts' not really in it and I would never tell her but I hate soccer. She said she misses softball but only coach pitch
Her doctor/counselor have both told us that she needs to be in some type of sport if possible because it's important that she be "part of a team" and she does need the physical activity. She hardly gets any at school because she is usually in her IEP class when her class has gym class.

It's her choice as to what she wants to participate in.. I have suggested slow pitch softball but she says no.. only coach pitch!

 

[momto2girls]

I do, but I have to admit that I am really glad that my girls love activities that I don't mind too much. I would support them in whatever they want to do, but I am glad that they are into dance and horseback riding and not soccer or field hockey, etc.

I also have to admit that I'm really glad that I don't have boys. I would really hate having to attend all of the sports practices and games that boys favor.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I was not going to let my DD do cheerleading. Thank God she never showed any interest in it, but if she had, the answer would have been no.

Sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone here that was a cheerleader, or is raising a cheerleader, but cheerleaders made my life hell as a kid, and I was going to be damned if I let my daughter become one.

 

[Kae]

DS plays Soccer & Travels but we have a great team as far as kids & parents go we all get along & even hang out when there isn't a game. We do travel quite a bit & with indoor soccer there really isn't any time when we don't have soccer. Plus he runs Cross Country & Track too. And he does Tri's.

DD does piano & voice & plays. Which takes alot of time when a production is going on next Up Music Man this summer.

And both kids play golf in the summer.

I am hoping that sone of these will need us to go to WDW

Kae

 

[mrodgers]

I steered my daughter away from t-ball simply because the first year, it was nothing but complaining in 90 degree heat when she had to get out of the pool to go to practice while her younger sister remained in the pool.

I tell them, they can sign up for anything, but if they sign up, they are commited. They can choose not to sign up next year, but they are commited for that year.

The simple question of, "you sure when it is 90 that you want to get out of the pool 3 days a week to go to practice." That definitely put a stop to her wanting to sign up for t-ball again.

Now she is in 4th grade. She plays the saxophone and plays basketball. She is really picking up music and can't play basketball worth a darn. She can't run, she runs like her mother, LOL. But she absolutely loves basketball.

The only leeway I'm currently giving her is this Thursday and next Thursday she has band practice until 4:30 and basketball practice at 5:30. She can't sit around the school for an hour waiting nor will she be able to eat until 8, so she will skip one. Next week is an actual game, so I want her to skip practice this week and do band, then skip band next week and do the basketball. She wants to skip band both weeks to do basketball.

 

[shortbun]

Can I tell you about three day, mind numbing chess tournaments? Travelling all over the state, bad hotels, watching children so stressed out they were totally withdrawn. Some of the most difficult times of my life but my kid LOVED it. The competitive nature of him somehow channeled itself into some excellent chess. We did this from K through 6th grade when after a 2nd national tournament followed by influenza, he decided to quit.
I secretly and out of his sight did cartwheels, handstands and supressed screams of glee!!! LOL! He still plays with his friends and he will always be a player capable of competitive play-he just 'gets' it- but no more long weekend chess tournaments. I welcome the two day soccer and two day basketball travel tourneys because they are fun to watch. Watching children sitting facing each other at small tables and punch time clocks after each move from far away/behind glass or peeking through a window in a door just to guess how your child is doing my how he sits...not so much.

 

[bookgirl]

As parents, especially with younger kids, we go to all the events, games, competitions, etc for whatever sport or activity your kids are in. But what if you really dislike that sport or activity that your child loves? Do you let them do what they want and just suffer through it every week, or do you not let them participate, and try to steer them towards something else? I'm talking more for travel/competative teams that require travel, and sometimes entire days and weekends of your time for your kids to participate.

I just got back from a weekend BasketBall Tourney.....I LOATHE basketball. I even have an out because they are my nephews not my sons. I go because they love it, they choose to play it and in the end it's not about me it's about them. Granted I'm not a parent, so occasionally I do have a 'prior commitment', but I do know that thier mom is not a sports fan and if she had her way they would do a whole lot less then they or my brother enjoys. For all her, not so great ways she at least supports them playing and doesn't complain in front of them. It's not really their fault if they like something you don't, though I do believe in persuasion....but so far they haven't agreed to hockey.

 

[golfgal]

Track is another boring sport to watch. I hated watching meets (and I RAN track all through college). I was always happy to help at the meets vs watch them--total snoozefest.

 

[Robinrs]

I hate ALL sports so YEAH!

 

[Ceila]

I would never prevent my child from trying or participating in an activity just because I don't like it. I remember one thread here on the CB a while ago where someone said that she refused to let her kid play any band instrument just because she didn't like it. I thought it was incredibly selfish of her/him. Why would I assume that my kids want to do what I like? We're all different!

There are other reasons we've decided, as parents, not to allow our kids to do something. For example, our son is very tall for his age and wanted to play football when he was in 2nd grade. The problem was that, because of his size, they would have made him play up with kids who were 1-2 years older than him. We didn't feel that was a safe situation, since the maturity and ability to make decisions on the field at those ages are very different.

ETA: While I would never prevent one of our kids from choosing a particular activity, I do think that it's perfectly fine to limit the amount of time spent participating in those. For example, our son played lacrosse for a couple of years, but he did it with the local township team, not on a travel team.

 

[Andtototoo]

If dd had wanted to play one of those sports/activities that involve hours of parental time every day and all weekend, we would not have permitted that. First of all, spending time with family and friends and participating in church and other community activities is a higher priority for our family, based on our values.

Secondly, even though I am a parent, I too have a right to free time doing what I want to do. To be perfectly honest, I spend 8.5 hours per day being a wage slave, so I want to be able to have some positive control over my life in my off-hours. Moreover, I think it's important that my dd learn that my existence and the world does not revolve around her.

And it's not like boo-hoo, my "poor" dd did not participate in activities. She certainly did.

But I wasn't going to give up my life and subvert our family priorities for a kid's activity. For us it was about achieving balance.

 

[BabyTigger99]

The only thing I didn't like that my DS did was T-ball. It was soooo boring!! Thankfully, he only did it for one season. Now he does travel soccer, cross country, Pop Warner football, and he is trying to decide if he wants to do wrestling or basketball in the winter for school.

 

[Colleen27]

It depends on why I don't enjoy the activity. I let the kids play soccer even though youth soccer is the epitome of the phrase "herding kittens" in my opinion, and even though I love baseball in general, watching T-ball is barely a step up from outright torture. DS13 now plays drums (in band) and guitar (private lessons), and the lack of quiet in my house certainly isn't my personal ideal! But boring and mildly annoying I can tolerate for the sake of the kids' interests.

There are a handful of things I will not allow or place restrictions on; DD9 wanted to cheer and I did let her try it, but only in the rec program that is companion to my son's football league. The private/competitive cheer program she wanted to join is not something I'd allow; it is too looks-oriented and too sexualized to be age appropriate in my opinion. I flat out refused when she asked about beauty pageants as well. With dance, I limited her to two classes a week because left to her own devices she'd have taken all four styles and performance company. Likewise, I vetoed travel football for DS when he was her age.

To me, childhood is about exploration so I tolerate the kids trying a little of everything so long as I don't feel it is detrimental. But there's plenty of time to specialize in middle/high school, so I drew the line at spending too much time on any one activity to the exclusion of others.

 

[Cindy B]

Odyssey of the Mind... yes, you read that right, Odyssey of the Mind.

It was a mind numbing all day regional and state competition while our children performed one THREE MINUTE SKIT. Mind you it is a skit based on obscure concept combining current and old fashioned things. (3rd graders writing their own skits on Shakespeare and Muses!) There are also odd things that need to be in each skit like a certain name, a certain prop, etc.

There is a cost limit to each team, so students have to create their own costumes and sets. (Picture a lot of oddly created costumes)

And to add to this lovliness, there are schools with full teams that wear matching shirts complete with a obscure reference.

Each team also has an improvisational exercise as well.


Dare I say, I breathed a sigh of relief when he team didn't make Nationals.

 

[Jeafl]

You name a sport and at least one of my kids did it at some point. I am fairly certain I have spent close to 5000 hours watching sports over the last 15 or so years. Kill me now.

Wrestling. Both my sons did wrestling. I hate it to this day. every day practices, day long meets. ugh and waiting for your weight class.

One of us was always at a meet.

The absolute WORST! Sitting on those hard bleachers all day waiting to watch your kid just to hear at the last minute that the other team didn't have someone in his weight class for him to wrestle. Total nightmare!

My son (9 years old) plays on the travel hockey team. I really knew nothing about the sport or how dedicated some families are to it. His first season just ended and during the year my husband and I would say that no way are we signing up for the team next year. However, try outs are this week, and because my son lives to play hockey, we will be there. I spend alot of time at the cold hockey rink, and I wake him up at crazy hours of the morning (4 a.m. a few times) to go play games 1 1/2 hours away. He hops out of bed as if it were Christmas morning to go. As a family we went away for a weekend for a tornament.

/QUOTE]



We just wrapped up 14 YEARS of travel hockey. I have to say, I probably watched hundreds of games over the years, but at least they were exciting. I could definitely have done without the cold rinks though. I could also have done without all the expensive out of state tournaments. My son loved it though.

I pretty much let my kids choose what sports they liked regardless of my interests. However, when it comes to all day weekend cross country meets, sometimes I won't go. I love my kids and enjoy watching them compete (most of the time) but I won't always travel 2 hours and then sit around for 8 hours just to watch them run for 18 minutes, then drive 2 hours home. I have a life too.

Yep, I hear you. My favorite (NOT) meets were the ones at the end of the season where they were running in the snow, while I stood in the snow/rain/sleet/wind and could only actually SEE them run for about 5 seconds of the course since the rest of the course was hidden in the woods. Good times!

Track is another boring sport to watch. I hated watching meets (and I RAN track all through college). I was always happy to help at the meets vs watch them--total snoozefest.

Have been going through this for YEARS since all 3 of my kids have been or are involved in high school track. Of course my son runs the first event and the last event EVERY SINGLE TIME, with occasionally an additional event or two in the middle so I can't even leave and come back. At the same time, my daughter is at a completely different school since the boys and girls can never have their meet in the same place.

I know it sounds like I am a sourpuss, but trust me, I went to every game, meet and match and sat in the stands with a smile on my face because I knew my kids were/are happy. People keep telling me that I will miss these days. I guess we shall see.

 

[aprilgail2]

99 percent of the time I let her do any kind of sport/activity that she wants to do--I only drew the line at cheerleading..there was no way in heck I was going to let my daughter be a cheerleader! And the funny thing is that I didn't say no you cant do it because then she would want to do it more---the cheerleading here you have to be there in the summer for 2 weeks and that is when I am on vacation--so it was a choice- do you want to go to Disney or cheerlead....do you want to go to Myrtle Beach or Cheerlead...I always pick the same weeks in the summer that would interfer with cheerleading so its never possible!!

 

[golfgal]

DD did Just for Kicks dance when she was 4. It was cute, they danced to "How Much is that Doggy in the Window", very cute, then we went to the spring show and saw what she would be doing at age 5--UM NO WAY am I going to let my 5 year old dance to bump and grind music in a hooker costume. She was done after that.