Do you let your children watch Rated R movies?

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

I am curious at what age do you let your child start watching rated R movies and do you watch the movie first before you let the child watch it?

Do you screen more for (if you screen) violence, language or sexual content?

I personally use a website called Common Sense Media that lets you read what the content of a movie is and it describes the level of violence, language and sexual content.

I screen movies for sexual content. I don't mind if the kids see ppl being shot or blown up and I don't mind language. But I am of the belief that you don't expose children to ADULT sexual situations. I don't think I will ever let my kids (while they are still young and living with me) watch a movie with strong sex scenes or graphic sexual talk. I think that is taking away too much innocence and the kids have the rest of their lives to watch that kind of stuff if they choose to.

But I have also talked to other ppl before in my life that said they don't mind their kids seeing two adults having sex on the TV or movie but they would screen for violence and language.

My kids are 12, 13 and a stepson who is 14 (and his mother lets him watch whatever he wants to) and a DS28.

At what age will you let your child watch rated R movies?

 

[powellrj]

I screen movies for sexual content. I don't mind if the kids see ppl being shot or blown up and I don't mind language. But I am of the belief that you don't expose children to ADULT sexual situations. I don't think I will ever let my kids (while they are still young and living with me) watch a movie with strong sex scenes or graphic sexual talk. I think that is taking away too much innocence and the kids have the rest of their lives to watch that kind of stuff if they choose to.

If seeing people being shot or blown up isn't an adult situation, what kind of a situation is it? Not being snarking, I am really interested in why you think sex is adult and murder isn't?

 

[Liberty Belle]

It depends on the movie and the kid. I have no problem letting my 10 year old watch sexual scenes, if they are brief and not violent or "abnormal". I don't mind him seeing people get shot, but draw the line at any gross violence. He's also never watched a scary movie other than Woman in Black, The Others, and Sixth Sense.

 

[okeydokey]

My 12 and 15 year old are not allowed to watch R movies yet. My 15 year old wanted me to take her and a few friends to Identity Thief over break and I said no after reading about it online.

 

[NHdisneylover]

It really depends on the movie. There were some R rated things mine saw when they were 6-8 years old. There were also some PG movies I was not okay with.

Personally, I am like the OP's friend---I am not bothered by nudity and was not overly concerned with sex (if it was a major focus, or was "forced" or cruel in any way that was different), or language, but violence really bothered me.

The way I see it, I fully expect that my kids will some day have sex, hear bad language ad likely even use it, and see naked people of both sexes. However, I hope that they never, at any age, have to be exposed to gun violence, bombs, etc. Thus as they grew up and were forming their opinions of the world I wanted them to see things that were normal and okay ad a part of a healthy life and not so much of things that are wrong, dangerous and unhealthy.

Interestingly, we moved to Germany about 4 years ago and the rating system here more closely mirrors my values. It is common for movies with language and nudity to have the equivalent of a PG rating here while they have R ratings in the US. Conversely, many more violent films that are PG in the US are "ab 16" here (the equivalent of R). If anything--it is more permissive over here with sexual things than I would be (though we have adapted)--case in point, my son's 8th grade class sleepover included watching The Hangover which is "ab 12" (from age 12) here. I haven't seen it, but from reading about it, that is not one I would have let him watch at home when he was 13.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

We don't take our children to watch R rated movies in the theatre, but our 16 year old has free reign on Netflix. The 12 year old isn't allowed new R movies. I'm sure there are a few R movies that we would let the 12 year old watch, but the only one that comes to mind is The King's Speech

As for PG-13, when the children were around 9 - 11, we usually checked Kids-in-Mind, but at this point we don't really worry about PG-13 movies at all, either.

 

[Acklander]

I think my son was about 7 when he watched his first R rated movie (schindlers list). We watched it with him in case he had any questions or got to where we didn't think he could handle the content. I'm not big on sensoring movies or books. If its rated R I just tell him why and let him make up his own mind. He usually won't watch it if I tell him it's really scary, or has a lot of kissing mushy stuff in it.

 

[almburr]

It depends on the movie. My kids are fans of the Alien movies mainly the second one. They have also seen Schindler's list. I don't mind nudity as long as it is not portrayed as sex, meaning nude models for paintings, or for historical reference.

We really don't watch the gore type films that often.

btw my kids are 18,14,12,11,8

 

[WDWJDS]

I have monitored what my child watches for many years (16 y.o. now). I base my opinions on my own experiences from my childhood. My mother allowed me to go to R rated movies, with my much older sister, when I was very young (8-11ish).I suppose it was a way to get free babysitting. Almost all of those movies were rated R due to sexual content, but they also contained violence.

I am going to be honest in saying that I believe my views (and actions) involving sex have a lot to do with that early exposure. I also watched lots of movies with violence in them, but my views (or actions) on violence weren't affected at all. (I have never killed, maimed or hurt anyone in my life. I don't own a gun, heck I don't even swear).

So, for my child, I allowed movies that were rated R at an earlier age (say 12ish) if the rating was for language or violence. Blatant sexual activity and nudity I didn't allow. I feel that at 16, she has now matured enough to handle all types of movies.

In reference to DHDisneylover's comment, I see things a little differently. Because my child will more likely be exposed to sexual situations in real life, more than bang-em-up/gang violence/Friday 13th type of blood and gore, I feel that she can see that the latter is so far removed from her reality, but the former is so close that she can relate to it more (which I wouldn't want her to). If she views a movie with gangs shooting each other, because she isn't exposed to guns on a daily basis (or at all, I hope) and doesn't hang out in gangs (as far as I know), those situations would seem more fictional. But since she is around young, hormonal people every single day, and she is a young, hormonal girl, those sexual scenes are more likely to stir up even more interest than she probably already has.

Don't people watch porn as foreplay? Probably a lot more than gangs sitting around watching Scarface before the big rumble. (And yes I am fully aware that some serial killers were known to be fascinated with violent films or music. But I would bet that the sex correlation is probably hundreds of times more prevalent than the violence ones). Now if a kid sits around all day and constantly watches violent video games and movies all the time, then there will probably be some adverse affect (or was there some already which causes said kid to want to continually watch those things nonstop? Which came first?)

 

[momto3gr8boys]

I do not let my children watch R rated movies (16, 15 and 12) and the 12 year old does not watch PG-13. The ratings are in place for a reason, and this is one of those areas, for me, where if you are bending the rules for one age restriction, why would they follow your rules on others?

And not to start a debate, as this is MY opinion, but I am far more bothered by violence surrounding my children than sex. Sex ultimately is natural and not a bad thing (in context, obviously promiscuity and prostitution are not good things). But never is violence ok. I think the obsession this country has with not letting our kids learn about sex while purchasing shoot em up games with M ratings for ten year olds is a major part of the issues we are facing at the moment. And yes, my children are not allowed to play video games that are not rated E. And believe it or not, they are really ok with it.

 

[luvmy3]

My kids are 9, 12 and 15. They are allowed to watch some R rated movies. Obviously my 15 year old has more choices than my 9 year old.
I do check commonsense for movies if I haven't already seen them. I use it for games, music and apps too, its a great site.

 

[Ginny Favers]

I was always allowed to watch whatever I wanted on TV, including R-Rated movies. My parent always just told me that it was make-believe.

I survived. I liked horror movies, but I know that I also had a lot of nightmares. I also suffered from depression from a very young age. Interestingly enough, I notice that now I am more depressed whenever I watch gore on TV.

My kids, I probably won't let them watch R-rated movies for a long while. As others have said, though, it depends on the movie.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

My daughter is currently too young for movies to have any effect on her whatsoever, however, once she's old enough to comprehend things the rule will be that she can watch anything with us, and can watch R movies with another adult, but she can't watch them alone or with just other kids until they're old enough to get into the theatres themselves. To me the concern is not exposure to either violence or sexual situations, it's whether they will have someone to talk to if they're confused or scared about something they see.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I do not let my children watch R rated movies (16, 15 and 12) and the 12 year old does not watch PG-13. The ratings are in place for a reason, and this is one of those areas, for me, where if you are bending the rules for one age restriction, why would they follow your rules on others?

And not to start a debate, as this is MY opinion, but I am far more bothered by violence surrounding my children than sex. Sex ultimately is natural and not a bad thing (in context, obviously promiscuity and prostitution are not good things). But never is violence ok. I think the obsession this country has with not letting our kids learn about sex while purchasing shoot em up games with M ratings for ten year olds is a major part of the issues we are facing at the moment. And yes, my children are not allowed to play video games that are not rated E. And believe it or not, they are really ok with it.

I would tend to agree with that.

 

[turkeymama]

I screen for sexual content and violence. I don't want them seeing casual sexual situations that don't line up with our family's beliefs. They will have plenty of time to be exposed to other values when they get older. Personally, I find most sex scenes unnecessary to the plot. This includes conversations that make light of casual sex.

Gratuitous violence is a no-go for us as well. In my opinion, there is no reason to expose them to that.

In my opinion, kids need to be afforded ample opportunity to enjoy their innocence. You can not un-ring a bell. Once they've seen negative images, that's it.

 

[EMHDad]

My kids are 6 & 3.

I screen PG movies before I let them watch. Of course R is off the table.

 

[mjantz]

15YO & a 12YO. 12YO still gets screened because she is a very sensitive soul & I don't want her to get too upset. 15YO has free reign on Netflix (he knows we can see what he watched though) but for movies in theatres we prescreen sometimes. We said he could see Argo if he could tell us what it was about. I wanted to make sure he had an understanding of the hostage crisis.
For me the sex vs violence thing isn't simple. I have no problem with nudity but I do not like the casual sex situations that are often presented in movies as well as the double standard where you can show everything on a female but rarely do you see everything on a guy. I don't like either kid seeing realistic violence but cartoonish violence (like Transformers or Star Wars) is OK as they definitely get that it's not real.

 

[mamacatnv]

I don't censor much with movies, music, video games or books nor do I pay much attention to ratings. The rating system doesn't mean much to me, whats okay for one is not necessarily okay for another and the rating system is not a "Rule" its a guideline.

I will follow the age rules if I were to drop my DD off at a movie theater but what goes on in my home is no one else's business and the movie rating system is not there to regulate, its a guide.

We started letting DD watch Dexter on Showtime with us when she was 12. Dexter has some of the most graphic sex of anything I have seen in awhile and while we talked about it, I did not prohibit it.

I grew up in a household where my Mother had really bizarre restrictions on what we watched and read, so we snuck around them.

My DD has friends who are now 14 and they have many restrictions that I find to be a bit ridiculous but hey, its not my kid, we just know to not invite those kids over much since their parents take issue with our viewing and reading habits

 

[U2_rocks!]

For me the sex vs violence thing isn't simple. I have no problem with nudity but I do not like the casual sex situations that are often presented in movies as well as the double standard where you can show everything on a female but rarely do you see everything on a guy. I don't like either kid seeing realistic violence but cartoonish violence (like Transformers or Star Wars) is OK as they definitely get that it's not real.

This is where I am pretty much.

 

[nathalee81]

My child is only 9 months old so this hasn't come yet, but I plan, in the future, to just "screen" the movie before deciding whether to let her see it or not.

As a child, I watched plenty of movies that were rated "R". I was ten when I saw The Breakfast Club with my mom.

My mom had no problem with cursing (seeing as she has a mouth like a sailor, the cursing wasn't anything I hadn't heard at home ), certain sexual scenes (she figured I wouldn't understand some stuff and she was right)-but I don't remember seeing anything of a violent nature. And, she was also very weary of anything that would scare me (movies like Alien or Jaws or Cujo). She knew I was kind of a sensitive kid in that regard, so she drew the line at those kind of movies (she probably just didn't want to stay up with me all night while I cried and insisted she check the closet and under my bed or refused to go in the water because sharks were waiting for me ).

I think it depends on the child and what they can handle (some kids would be fine with scary movies, I wasn't). I think a parent knows what their child can handle and what they can't handle...