Do you leave your kids and their friends home alone while you go out?

[Patio]

My dd is 13 and yesterday I had to take ds to a birthday party. DD wanted to stay home alone with 2 friends while I was gone. I was staying for the party so I'd be gone from about 5:30 -8:30. I said no way and took her to my parents house. She thinks I'm too overprotective, but I thought I would be gone too long and didn't like the idea. I knew DH would get home after me so they'd be unsupervised for 3 hours. DD is a great kid, never gave us a minutes trouble. She says I should feel better leaving her with friends than leaving her alone like if I go to the store ( gone total of 1 hour). Am I too protective or not? Any opinions will be appreciated!!

 

[browneyes]

My kids are 9 and 6, they only wish mommy would leave them home alone so they could destroy the place even more.

I was 12 when my parents let me stay home alone.

If you feel better taking her somewhere, it's best for you to have peace of mind. {{hugs}}

 

[bfeller]

Absolutely not. My teens are 14 and 17 and that has been the standing rule and as far as I know they have not broken it. They both have heard of bad experiences from their friends when they have had friends over with no adult supervision. (someone accusing another of stealing a hat, having a few friends over and then word spreads and lots of people showing up to party.) Both have ended in bad situations.

You are not an overprotective mom, you are a RESPONSIBLE mom.

 

[MerryPoppins]

My kids are 11 and 15. The rule at our house is that when no parent is home, no visitors. In fact, my youngest doesn't even answer the door if she's alone.

They are allowed to talk on the phone with a friend or play video games. I just don't think other kids need to be in my house when DH and I are both away. Too much responsibility for your own kids.

 

[hercamore]

No way,

I have two very responsible kids who are l8 and 21.

They were not alllowed to have friends over to stay alone with till they were l8.

Too many things can happen and you ARE responsible should something happen in the house.

They have been staying alone since they were 12 or so. Length of time alone depended on age and usually not at night.. I think you did right thing...3 hours at night is too long.

Herc..

 

[meeshi]

No kids allowed over when a parent is not home. That's our rule. They are 14, 12 and 10. Now I do make exceptions if I need to run to the store or something quick like that. But not for a long period of time.

 

[bumcat]

Never, no parents home then no kids are allowed to stay over. If something were to go wrong guess who would be sued.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>bfeller and meeshi made it easy on me, and expressed my thoughts perfectly

I like that -- you are being a responsible mom

 

[jipsy]

My parents had no choice but to leave me home alone. From the time I was 12. My siblings were all grown and gone, my mom worked from 6:00 am till 4:30 pm and my dad travelled 5 days a week. They couldn't afford a babysitter, and quite frankly, felt I didn't need one.

I had to come home, do my homework, clean the kitchen, make my bed and start supper. We knew all my neighbors; if I did anything out of line I knew they would report me to my mom. My aunt and uncle lived 4 blocks away if anything happened, I was to go to their house.

During the summer, I had to have my chores done before my mom got home. They bought me a summer pass to the local water park, which was three miles away, and me and my cousin spent our summer there. We rode our bikes or skated there. I was allowed to have girlfriends over, as long as my parents knew who they were. Boys were not allowed at all.

I am thankful my parents didn't shelter me. They taught me basic safety rules and then trusted themselves and me. In no way do I feel my parents were "irresponsible" because they left me alone at home.

In fact, it made me a much more responsible teenager than most of my friends whose parents sheltered them their whole teenage life. I had the confidence to move into my own apartment at 17. At 19 I moved to the big city of New Orleans, and at 20 I moved to the big city of Atlanta. I knew the difference between right and wrong, safe and unsafe, and common sense usage.

 

[Bumbles]

I was allowed to stay home by myself and have friends over from about 13 on.

However, these times are a lot scarier than the times I grew up in.

But on the other hand, if you shelter your child too much, you might end up with a child in their 20s or 30s living in your basement playing with Strawberry Shortcake dolls and/or parading around in their Starfleet Academy uniform.

There's got to be a happy medium!

 

[bfeller]

I forgot to post that I also will not allow my children to go to someone's house unless there is a parent/adult at home.

We have really had a hard time with this this summer. One of DD's friends is home all day with younger sister because mom works.(single parent) She has a pool but is very lonely. Instead I have invited her here but her mom doesn't want her to leave little sister, age 10. We tried having both over but it just didn't work out. 2-14 year olds just don't do the same stuff as the 10 year old and then I feel like I am babysitting, because the 10 year old followed me everywhere. The 14 year olds will let her hang out for an hour or so while watching tv but then they get bored with her.

 

[shortbun]

You know your child and her friends better than we do.
I'd say friends together have a much greater
potential for trouble than staying alone....but...
I used to get scared by myself so mom let
me have 1 friend over. We knew if we blew it...
no more time together without supervision. The
worst thing we did was make prank phone calls.
"Is your refrigerator running? Yes? Better catch it?
(peals of laughter)" The rules were: no cooking, no answering
the door or phone unless the code was used, no running
water.
I use 13 yo babysitters and allow 2 girls to
come because it's so boring after ds goes to bed AND
scary in someone else's house. It's up to them how they
share or if they share the $$$. They're great-they do my
dinner dishes and pkup the house, great young women
and I'm so sad that someday soon they'll get boyfriends
and never want to babysit. DS loves them too-they play
all his games with him; something mom and dad rarely
have time to do anymore.

 

[SDAngel101]

Mom allows the older kids ot have friends over, while she is gone because she knows wer are responceble and won't trash the house. It is usually my friends though, and my mom loves all my friends ehe . No boys if parents aren't home, and if they are home, no closed doors.

MY little brother (12) on the other hand, has some wild friends that run all over the house and don't pick up after themselfs. If mom and dad are gone, none of the posse (his group of friends) can't be in the house.

 

[MineeBaby]

i was NEVER allowed to have guests over if i was home alone, and there was no WAY I was EVER allowed to go over to a friends house when no adults were in the house...EVER...even when i was in highschool...when i was around 17 or so, they let me go over to only specific people's houses, not just someone they didnt know...and anytime i went out somewhere, i had to have a plan, a quarter to call if i needed to, and a designated time to be home BASED on that plan..so no curfew for me...sometimes it was 9 and sometimes it was 3 (that was prom night)..i was never allowed to have my plan be "hang out" or "drive around"...did i think they were strict? yeah..but eventually i was able to understand that they were strict for a reason and i dont feel i missed out on anything.

 

[supercarrie]

My parents have allowed me to have friends over when they weren't home since I was about 11. However, no boys are ever allowed over when they aren't home. My parents know all of my friends anyway, and they are all responsible people, so it has never been a problem.

 

[DisneyWonderGirl]

My parents first let me stay home alone when I was 9 or 10. At first it was only when I was sick and they had to go out and get the medicine from the drugstore or if the had to run to the gas station to the get paper on Sunday. Now, they leave me home alone if I don't want to go out to dinner or with them during the day. Just last year when I turned 11 my mom let friends stay with me while she and my dad went somewhere. And that wasn't for a long time. We could basiclly do anything we wanted except for order pizza adn invite other people over, especially boys!
My parents don't mind if I'm home alone with one of my friends at their house as long as we have their parents cell phone number and that it's okay with my parents. Same for my mom and dad. They leave the number of where they're going and I have the cell #.

 

[Eeyore2U]

DS has ahd friends over with adult since he was about 12. We judged him and his friends to be responsible enough. We'll be leaving him alone for the weekend for the first time next weekend at 16 and don't anticipate trouble.

 

[jsmith]

I allow my 13 year old to have one particular friend over while I am at work-there is some side ways reasoning-at 13 they are both too old for daycare, his older brother works two jobs to save for college, and the friends mom is a single parent-we kind of agreed they would be better off together than each alone-sometimes they hang at our house, sometimes at hers.
I allow my 17 year old to have guy friends-no girls when mom and dad aren't home-that's just common sense. He will be going to college in a year and needs to develop some sense of responsiblity before he goes!

 

[DisneyChic89]

Hi! I am 13 and I have stayed Home Alone alot since I was about 11 or 12! Right now I baby-sit alot! My Parents allow me to Have Friends over Only if they were over when they left and their Parents okay it! I am not allowed to ask friends to come inside if they come oevr when my parents are gone. I also have a younger sister that i am responsible for alot!