Do you know someone who is/was an alcoholic?

[MoniqueU]

I am just surprised by the number of deaths of the people you all know. The one friend I have that just got out of detox would come to Vegas, hit up sams club for a bunch or fifths of different kinds of booze and mixers for a weeks stay. They never had leftovers that we know of. She would make up what we called brown margarittas, Tequila with a splash of mix. her husband face planted more then once on the strp and one niight we had to get a wheelchaiir back to her room. Anyway she has had liver tests in the last 4 or so years and said they were fine.

I am more of a weekend warrior type, I don't drink unless I am out to dinner, on vacation,holidays or friends areover.
3 drinks sometimes and i am down for the count. Other tmes the sugar hypes me up. Anyway I just had complete bloodwork done and i am fine too.

How much do you actually have to drink to end up wth lver failure. IF my one friend that used the wheelchaiir checked out ok i have no idea how some of your frends and relatives didnt make it.

Also I have found for me that drinking can be like self medcating, no real drinking problem per say just drnnkng to calm down, release some anxiety etc. Once I got that part of my liife squared away, the drinking slowly dssapeared too. I think there are alof of people who have problems out there that get misdiagnosed or go untreated and end up being alcoholcs. JMHO

Oh and quittiing smoking in my mind and quttng drnkng arent even in the same league. When pregnant I smply did not drink, never bothered me. Smoking dfferent story. My OBGYN while not advocating it didn''t give me a hard tme about ig. I just quit again a bit over a month ago and i want a smoke everytme I thiink about it. Not so with drnkng.I am just as happy with a cup of coffee as a pina colada.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I am just surprised by the number of deaths of the people you all know. The one friend I have that just got out of detox would come to Vegas, hit up sams club for a bunch or fifths of different kinds of booze and mixers for a weeks stay. They never had leftovers that we know of. She would make up what we called brown margarittas, Tequila with a splash of mix. her husband face planted more then once on the strp and one niight we had to get a wheelchaiir back to her room. Anyway she has had liver tests in the last 4 or so years and said they were fine.

I am more of a weekend warrior type, I don't drink unless I am out to dinner, on vacation,holidays or friends areover.
3 drinks sometimes and i am down for the count. Other tmes the sugar hypes me up. Anyway I just had complete bloodwork done and i am fine too.

How much do you actually have to drink to end up wth lver failure. IF my one friend that used the wheelchaiir checked out ok i have no idea how some of your frends and relatives didnt make it.

Also I have found for me that drinking can be like self medcating, no real drinking problem per say just drnnkng to calm down, release some anxiety etc. Once I got that part of my liife squared away, the drinking slowly dssapeared too. I think there are alof of people who have problems out there that get misdiagnosed or go untreated and end up being alcoholcs. JMHO

Oh and quittiing smoking in my mind and quttng drnkng arent even in the same league. When pregnant I smply did not drink, never bothered me. Smoking dfferent story. My OBGYN while not advocating it didn''t give me a hard tme about ig. I just quit again a bit over a month ago and i want a smoke everytme I thiink about it. Not so with drnkng.I am just as happy with a cup of coffee as a pina colada.

When I compared the drinking to the smoking (and ability to quit)..it was just a guess.. But I was referring to how hard it is for an alcoholic to quit, not someone like you who drinks on occassion and doesn't feel addicted to it.


As far as deaths...I have only known one person to die from alcoholism.. but I've seen it tear many families apart

 

[HelenePA]

My mom was an alcoholic she died the week after I found out I was pregnant with my first son.

 

[hoosll]

My brother is an alcoholic ... he did in-patient treatment 3 times and returned to drinking each time. He became extraordinarily paranoid and combative ...

In 2003 he had a seizure caused by alcohol poisoning, he lost the memory of last 10 years of his life (including the rehab stints and a marriage) and he has lost his short term memory (think of the movie Momento) and now he lives in a group home for brain-injured people, he's 57 years old.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

My grandfather was and died from it while my mom was still in college. He was the "life of the party" type of guy and was definitely functional (making $40,000/year back in the 40's and early 50's.) Her mother also died (from cancer caused by smoking) when she was in college and that left my mom to raise a younger (by four and ten years, respectively) brother and sister. The brother did actually end up going to live with my mom's aunt and uncle and the sister did the same for three years but my mom raised her sister from the time her sister was 14 and my mom was 24. When I was a kid, it didn't seem like that big of a deal to me but now I can't imagine being 24 years old and having to raise a teenage sister.
I also have a friend who is one and has been "lucky" enough to only get caught once on a DUI. He had a friend who bribed the judge and he walked away from it completely. He still drinks and drives...as in drinks as he drives down the street.

 

[PaulaSue]

Most in my Father's family are or were (went through treatment).

I'm scared since it runs in the family so if I drink, once a blue moon and only out for special things, it is one glass.

 

[luvsJack]

I am just surprised by the number of deaths of the people you all know. The one friend I have that just got out of detox would come to Vegas, hit up sams club for a bunch or fifths of different kinds of booze and mixers for a weeks stay. They never had leftovers that we know of. She would make up what we called brown margarittas, Tequila with a splash of mix. her husband face planted more then once on the strp and one niight we had to get a wheelchaiir back to her room. Anyway she has had liver tests in the last 4 or so years and said they were fine.

I am more of a weekend warrior type, I don't drink unless I am out to dinner, on vacation,holidays or friends areover.
3 drinks sometimes and i am down for the count. Other tmes the sugar hypes me up. Anyway I just had complete bloodwork done and i am fine too.

How much do you actually have to drink to end up wth lver failure. IF my one friend that used the wheelchaiir checked out ok i have no idea how some of your frends and relatives didnt make it.

Also I have found for me that drinking can be like self medcating, no real drinking problem per say just drnnkng to calm down, release some anxiety etc. Once I got that part of my liife squared away, the drinking slowly dssapeared too. I think there are alof of people who have problems out there that get misdiagnosed or go untreated and end up being alcoholcs. JMHO

Oh and quittiing smoking in my mind and quttng drnkng arent even in the same league. When pregnant I smply did not drink, never bothered me. Smoking dfferent story. My OBGYN while not advocating it didn''t give me a hard tme about ig. I just quit again a bit over a month ago and i want a smoke everytme I thiink about it. Not so with drnkng.I am just as happy with a cup of coffee as a pina colada.

This (the bolded part) may be true for you. If it is, you are not an alcoholic. I am an ex-smoker and it was hard to quit but now I have and don't believe I will ever start again. If I do pick up one and smoke it, it will more than likely be the one and that will end it. I watched my dad struggle with wanting a drink every day and he said that he fought it so hard because he knew if he gave in for one drink, his sobriety would be over.

 

[celerystalker]

Yep.
Me.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Yep.
Me.

Wow, that took a lot of courage. Hopefully you're getting some help.

I have and am surrounded by alcoholics and drug addicts. My father was both. Parents divorced when I was 3. Dad has gotten clean and sober, I believe with the past 10 years. However, we do not have a relationship and even as an adult, I still cannot overcome the feelings of hurt, anger and abandonment he has caused me. I wish him well, but won't be having any sort of relationship with him. All of his brothers were alcoholics and drug addicts as well. Two died, one an overdose (I believe) and one killed himself.

My FIL, BIL and DH are all alcoholics. Functioning, but still alcoholics. BIL was sober for quite a few years, but has fallen off the wagon. DH and FIL don't feel they have a drinking problem, even though their families and circumstances tell them otherwise. I worry about my DD and the toll it is taking on her -- not only his drinking, but my anger at the situation. I pray each day that she takes only the good from this situation and doesn't follow suit in the future.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Too many to count. Treatment was only helpful with one, but it was probably only helpful for him because he drove home drunk one night and we turned him in to the cops. We saw evidence on his car that he had been in an accident.

It turns out that he had only hit two parked cars at 2am, so no one was hurt. The police could not charge him with drinking and driving because they did not see it happen. But he was so horrified that he had done this that he checked himself into a rehab hospital.

30 days later, he came out a changed man. Hasn't touched a drop in the 10+ years since...

 

[luvmy3]

Yes, several and the only ones who are staying sober were the ones who wanted to help themsleves.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I have and am surrounded by alcoholics and drug addicts. My father was both. Parents divorced when I was 3. Dad has gotten clean and sober, I believe with the past 10 years. However, we do not have a relationship and even as an adult, I still cannot overcome the feelings of hurt, anger and abandonment he has caused me. I wish him well, but won't be having any sort of relationship with him. All of his brothers were alcoholics and drug addicts as well. Two died, one an overdose (I believe) and one killed himself.

My FIL, BIL and DH are all alcoholics. Functioning, but still alcoholics. BIL was sober for quite a few years, but has fallen off the wagon. DH and FIL don't feel they have a drinking problem, even though their families and circumstances tell them otherwise. I worry about my DD and the toll it is taking on her -- not only his drinking, but my anger at the situation. I pray each day that she takes only the good from this situation and doesn't follow suit in the future.

I've been following this thread to learn a little about alcoholism as I'm close to someone who's trying to help an alcoholic at rock bottom right now.

I'm curious about the parts I bolded in your post in trying to understand.

Or anyone can answer if they know.

Is it common for children who grow up in alcoholic homes to marry someone with the same problem? How does one go about breaking the cycle?

I had an uncle who was a teetotaler (?sp) and it was always explained to me that both his parents were alcoholic so he shunned it his whole life. Interestingly, though, one of his children became an alcoholic, possibly two.

 

[Jynohn]

Is it common for children who grow up in alcoholic homes to marry someone with the same problem? How does one go about breaking the cycle?

Sadly the statistics say that children who grow up in alcoholic homes have a 60% chance of either marrying an alcoholic, or becoming one themselves. The cycle can be broken, however. Al-Anon and Ala-Teen are a great start.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...I had an uncle who was a teetotaler (?sp) and it was always explained to me that both his parents were alcoholic so he shunned it his whole life. Interestingly, though, one of his children became an alcoholic, possibly two.

IMO, anyone can control this if they get out in front of it, recognize the risk, and take appropriate steps to ensure that they do not become an addict. Once an addict, your chances of walking away from the drug are slim.

There are many alcoholics in my family. I knew that I was at risk, but I drank anyway - heavily while in the Army. When I met the woman that was to become my wife, I faced a fork in the road. She was a type 1 diabetic and couldn't drink much. I chose a relationship with her over alcohol. Had I not met her, I would probably be an alcoholic, myself.

I drink now, but in a responsible way - always with an eye on what might have been, and still could be, if I am not careful...

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Yep.
Me.

I hope you are able to get help when you are ready to take it. Or, if you are sober now...congratulations

I've been following this thread to learn a little about alcoholism as I'm close to someone who's trying to help an alcoholic at rock bottom right now.

I'm curious about the parts I bolded in your post in trying to understand.

Or anyone can answer if they know.

Is it common for children who grow up in alcoholic homes to marry someone with the same problem? How does one go about breaking the cycle?

I had an uncle who was a teetotaler (?sp) and it was always explained to me that both his parents were alcoholic so he shunned it his whole life. Interestingly, though, one of his children became an alcoholic, possibly two.

I grew up with just my mom, and she was (is) an alcoholic. She quit drinking when I was 12 and my sister was 4. I really believe if my sister didnt' have her gallbladder taken out and stayed with her ex-boyfriend who was an alcoholic, she would have become one too. She could not stop at one, and she so reminded me of my mom when she became drunk. I guess I saw more of it to scare me. I have times when I do drink, but never feel I have to have it, and am able to stop anytime (ie, pregnancy, designated driver).
I'm not sure statistics on marrying an alcoholic, but I will say what *I've* experienced. Being with someone who drinks in the home really bothers me. I know its 'my problem', but it really bothers me. I dont like drinking at home around the kids, and anytime my ex husband, or my boyfriend drinks more than 2, I get the feelings back of disgust and wonder in the back of my head if they have a problem, even though I know they don't. It truly bothers my heart to have them drink at home, but it's not fair to them to stop because of my experiences that have nothing to do with them....

 

[HelenePA]

I am just surprised by the number of deaths of the people you all know. The one friend I have that just got out of detox would come to Vegas, hit up sams club for a bunch or fifths of different kinds of booze and mixers for a weeks stay. They never had leftovers that we know of. She would make up what we called brown margarittas, Tequila with a splash of mix. her husband face planted more then once on the strp and one niight we had to get a wheelchaiir back to her room. Anyway she has had liver tests in the last 4 or so years and said they were fine.
.

Sadly it will catch up to them one day.. it might take one person a year of being an alcoholic it might take another 10 (or more)but it will catch up to them sooner or later. My mom was one for about 10 years before it did her in.. when her liver failed she didn't last a month. Its a very very bad death to wittiness.. I can still hear her gasping for air and squeezing my hand right before she went.. I hope you never get to that point or have your children see you die that way.. its very very scary when your looking at your mom who you dont recognize anymore because she's gained 100+ pounds of water weight and she's orange

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Sadly it will catch up to them one day.. it might take one person a year of being an alcoholic it might take another 10 (or more)but it will catch up to them sooner or later. My mom was one for about 10 years before it did her in.. when her liver failed she didn't last a month. Its a very very bad death to wittiness.. I can still hear her gasping for air and squeezing my hand right before she went.. I hope you never get to that point or have your children see you die that way.. its very very scary when your looking at your mom who you dont recognize anymore because she's gained 100+ pounds of water weight and she's orange

Do you know that song "Because of you" by Kelly Clarkson...I think of how close this was to happening with my mom and I...

I also wrote a poem when I was younger called "Stale liquor on a slumbering parent"..if I can ever find it... I'm sure it would strike a chord with those who have been through it...

 

[Disney Doll]

Lots of alcoholic relatives in the extended family and it wreaks havoc.
Some have died of the effects of alcohol abuse. None, thank God, have died in a car accident or injured anyone else in a car accident.

I am what one would call a social drinker. A glass of wine or a fruity drink if we are out to dinner. I seldom drink at home, unless we have people over for dinner and everybody has wine or something.

I am one of those people where if my MD told me I couldn't drink ever again, it wouldn't much faze me.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Thanks for the replies to my question.

 

[Seewhatimesdone]

Sadly rehab usually doesn't do too much good. My mom went in several times before she decided to get sober for herself. The whole isolation approach doesn't work very well because there's no temptation so it's unrealistic. And by the way, she'll be nine years sober in a few months!