Do you hold hands?

Discussion in 'Gay and Lesbian at Disney' started by Iggipolka, Jan 15, 2006.

  1. Iggipolka

    Iggipolka <a href="" targ

    Oct 30, 2005
    Do you hold hands with your partner when you are out in public and/or at Disney? We live in the SF Bay Area (very liberal) and even so, there are times when I feel nervous about holding my partner's hand.
    We call each other "honey" and "sweetie" more often than we use each other's real names (ya I know..we're so mushy, even after 5 years :) ) and sometimes I've slipped in public and called her "hon". We get some strange looks on occasion.
    We did hold hands and show affection on our last vacation to Disney, but I was always very aware that we were most certainly in the minority.
  2. LJC1861

    LJC1861 DIS Veteran<br><font color=teal>Suffers from a Tag

    Nov 15, 1999
    Lisa and I hold hands alot. When we lived in the West Village...we held hands everywhere. In other parts of the city we did use a bit of caution. Here in Asheville it is a bit different in that we don't walk everywhere. When there is nobody else around we do hold hands, and there are times when we just don't care, but if we feel that we are getting looks, or that it just isn't safe at that particular time we don't.

    At WDW it is pretty much the same. We do hold hands, but if we feel that we are being stared at we don't.

    As for my job in NYC, nobody knew Lisa's real name. Everybody called her "Sweetie" because that is what I usually call her. We tend to only use our real names when it is an emergency or we are fussin' at one another.

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  4. RickinNYC

    RickinNYC DIS Veteran

    Apr 22, 2003
    Neither of us are big hand holders but sure, we do but rarely. And we do so with full knowledge and awareness of where we are. But, regardless of where we are, I still have a tendency of doing the hand on the back or on the shoulder thing.
  5. polarboi

    polarboi Earning My Ears

    Jul 10, 2005
    Oh, I so love that you started this topic.

    A previous boyfriend and I had some lonnng conversations about this one. I wanted to take him to my favorite place on earth, and he'd never been. And during the course of those discussions, he asked if I would hold his hand while we walked around the parks.

    To be honest, hand-holding in public has never been a big thing for me in the first place. Even if I were straight, I doubt I would do it. I relate to what Rick said about a hand on the back or shoulder; I'm much more likely to show physical affection in public in those sorts of ways rather than holding hands.

    When it comes to Disney... well... it feels even weirder to me. My job involves dealing with conservative Christian sentiments about gay issues, so I'm painfully aware of how strong some people's anti-gay bias is. Now, I don't feel that I need to apologize for myself or my relationships, and I think their bias does need to be confronted - that's what I do for a living. But I don't really feel like a Disney vacation is the right place, and I want even the homophobes and bigots to be able to enjoy their vacations with their kids, you know? So I wasn't really comfortable holding hands while walking through the parks, although my boyfriend at the time was.

    We ended up breaking up before the trip, though, and just went as friends. So it wasn't an issue. :earboy2:

    On my most recent trip, though, I noticed a gay couple holding hands, and it made me smile. :) I was glad they were doing it... it just wasn't for me.

  6. Elevationist

    Elevationist Princess No-Pants

    Oct 17, 2004
    On my our last trip to the World about a year ago, my girlfriend (now fiance!) really pressured me for physical affection while we were out and about. I was really uptight about hand-holding the first day, because as a few said above, it just felt strange being in such a minority.

    That first night, though, on the busses back to the All-Stars... There was a young lesbian couple sitting on the bench across from us. We didn't talk much, but I noticed them holding hands, and one girl cuddled up to her partner sleepily after the long day at Magic Kingdom. It made me so very happy, and reminded me to be proud. So my lady and I stayed finger-locked for the rest of the trip! LOL :love2:
  7. iankh

    iankh It's never done till it's overdone

    Jan 8, 2005
    We've never been much for holding hands, so its not something we really do anywhere. We've never been very big on showing public affection, be that in a mixed venue or a gay venue. This past New Year's Eve we went down to WDW and after dinner we went to the Boardwalk area to hang out. We did have our arms around each other and kissed at midnight. But for us, that was a rare display.
  8. Viki

    Viki <font color="green">Mid-town Manhattan, anyone?</f

    Aug 25, 2004
    We're spontaneously physcially affectionate and I always call her hon, but we're not so big on hand holding. On the other hand, I might give her a spontaneous peck, even on the lips. Like some others have said, however, I love it when I see (mostly) young girl/girl couples treat the whole situation much more naturally.

    That said, however (how many hands do I have?), I do recall that when we were at Dorney Park's Wildwater Kingdom last year, there was one young lesbian couple that was laying right on top of each other. Yuck. I don't need that from anyone. It was very interesting, however, to watch the faces of everyone around them when they figured it out. Young boys, in the adolescent range of 9-12, seemed to get the biggest kick of it, responding with peek a boos and giggles.
  9. PlutoEpcot

    PlutoEpcot <font color=blue>You could only get that pin for 1

    Sep 24, 2005
    Even thought I have no experience with this topic I strongy suggest that u do hold hands with your partner. If u feel so strongy about your partner than hold hands. People now a days are a lot more accecpting of gay and lesbian couples and I put them equal to straight people. Also now a days more and more people are bisexual or gay and I am totally fine with that. A lot of other people are fine with that too. I hope u have the courage to hold hands more often in public. :) ~Teddy~
  10. Elevationist

    Elevationist Princess No-Pants

    Oct 17, 2004
    I kind of had to explain this to my girlfriend on the previously mentioned trip. When we were in the swimming pool at night, she kept wanting to wrap her arms around me and give me long lingering kisses on the lips. Once at the Living Seas, she pounced on me and started to practically make-out with me (which was kinda weird, since at home and in our normal lives, my girlfriend isn't over-affectionate at all... I guess she was just that happy and in love!), and I jumped back and said, "WHOA! Okay, no!" so fast that she really got her feelings hurt. I was flattered by the show of affection, but felt horrible for pulling away like that.

    I explained to her that it had nothing to do with her personally, or even with us being lesbians... Just that I know if I was trying to enjoy the Living Seas or the resort swimming pool and saw a couple all over each other, gay or straight, I would be kinda grossed out and really put-off by it. Once I explained it, she totally understood. After talking, apparently she had been hoping for more romance during the trip but instead we were mostly just having crazy fun.

    So I've promised her that our upcoming Valentine's trip, we will try to incorporate more romance and sweetness into our short little trip. :)
  11. Wolfen-Sensei

    Wolfen-Sensei They call me...Jacques Cartier, founder of the ST.

    Nov 15, 2005
    If you and your partner love each other. It shouldn't matter what other people think. If you want to hold hands, hold hands. As long as it won't put you in any sort of dangerous situation. The homophobes will just have to deal with it. You shouldn't show any less affection towards your partner just to please them.

  12. aunts2topher

    aunts2topher Earning My Ears

    Jan 3, 2006
    Not big on holding hands, we're much more likely to touch each other's back or shoulder -- no matter where we are. That's just us. We do "honey" a lot though ("Honey, did you see this?") and while it has resulted in a few double-takes (that I've noticed) I don't worry about it. If anyone has a problem with who I'm with, that is THEIR problem -- that is the way I live my life.

    We were at WDW for Valentine's Day last year -- have a great time!!!

  13. Elevationist

    Elevationist Princess No-Pants

    Oct 17, 2004
    Oh, really?! How was it? I usually try to go the first week of January (which is wonderful!), so I'm not quite sure what to expect regarding mid-February. I hate that it's the week leading up to President's Day, but that was when my partner scheduled her vacation from work so that we could go for Valentine's, obviously. I guess what I'm trying to ask is... How are the crowds? I know that Pres. Day weekend if the beginning of Peak season for the resorts, and I'm accustomed to going when it's really slow. We've only got 4 days, so we're trying to cram as much in as we possibly can! LOL
  14. icebrat001

    icebrat001 <font color=teal>Foot flusher<br><font color=orang

    Apr 3, 2005
    We are big hand holders but we don't hold hands often in our city or surrounding cities, as both of us teach and we don't want to be "outed" to the parents or the kids.

    We will hold hand in other cities or area's where we feel safe. We don't hold hands at Disneyland or Marine World or Great America though, SO feels that some families may not have explained same sex relationships to their children and doesn't think she should have to learn it because they saw us holding hands.
  15. T&KHayes

    T&KHayes Mouseketeer

    Oct 16, 2005
    I wouldn't say that we are attached at the hands, or any other body part....but I am definately very affectionate. Our youngest is very affectionate too, so a lot of the time that we were at WDW we were holding his hands. But we did kiss (peck, not make out) and rub backs while walking in lines or just browsing. I am not self concious about who I am or we are and could really care less. I am more the type of person where if someone is staring at me, I stare back :bitelip: . I also feel that the more comfortable you are in your skin, the more comfortable others will be around you. Plus life is too short to worry about what others think about you, if they want you to know I am sure they will tell you! :teeth:

  16. nordkin

    nordkin DIS Veteran

    Apr 22, 2005
    We do not tend to hold hands anywhere. We are more the gentle touch on the back types. We do use endearing terms when we talk to each other and have never noticed any unapproving looks, but then I really haven't tried to notice. We know our feelings for one another and do not feel we have to announce it to the world through public displays of affection. Neither of us likes to see public displays whether it be straight or gay.
  17. mickeysaver

    mickeysaver <font color=blue>WINNER of the world's worst limer

    Jun 2, 2002
    Gabby and I do hold hands on occasion at WDW. We call each other lots of things other than our names while we are in public, "hon" "sweetie" "babe" "sugar" to list a few. We don't generally live closeted lives. We occasionally share a quick peck kiss, even on the lips, at WDW, but it is done discreetly. We have manners about it.

    Gabby is more out than I am. I work in a very successful pediatric medical office in the northern burbs of Atlanta. While all of my coworkers know that I am a lesbian, I am not always open with out patient's parents about it. Most people can look at me and know that I am a lesbian. I don't do frilly girly. lol I am who I am. If I developed a pretty good idea of who I need to avoid discussing personal details with because, this is still the south and there are lots of conservatives down here. I don't want to do anything in my work place that might cause any problems for any of the families that bring their kids into our office. Let's face it, no one wants to have to explain such matters to their kids until they feel the time is right. I don't want to force that issue. However, outside of the office, I am out. If I run into families that come to our office outside of the office, Gabby does her best to find a way to avoid them....not for my sake, but for her's. Gabby hates running into my patients. lol Maggie
  18. Etoile

    Etoile Gallaudet University class of 2011

    Jun 21, 2005
    Great topic. My wife used to be very nervous about holding hands in public around home, but she has gotten better about it as the years have passed. She doesn't usually mind it on vacation because we don't know anybody there, unless we are somewhere that seems distinctly unfriendly. More often than not lately we just take each other's arms rather than actually holding hands, and I don't think that's quite as much a tipoff. But I sure do love it when we do!

    She has gotten LOTS more comfortable with me calling her "babe" in public. She used to get nervous when I said it, but now she just answers! I don't think close friends call each other babe much, so maybe that's a hint to others but I don't know.
  19. jaredbeauvais

    jaredbeauvais Earning My Ears

    Aug 2, 2014
  20. QueenBeeMB

    QueenBeeMB Let's talk crafts!

    Jan 17, 2012
    I am from SF Bay Area originally, and she is from down here. We visit DL and DCA almost weekly and we hold hands, call each other our pet names, put an arm around one another during shows, fire works etc. Even a peck here and there. I don't censor myself any more than I would normally. I keep in mind we are around children and watch my mouth (language) just as much as I watch my interaction with my partner.(i believe all adults should be doing this IMHO) I have never, at DLR nor anywhere else ever had someone say anything to me or her about our 'gay behavior being inappropriate' or otherwise. Maybe I'm lucky, don't know.
  21. LadyD

    LadyD DIS Veteran

    Jul 9, 2014
    My partner and I live in southern California and do hold hands in public and don't feel a need to hide who we are. That being said, that is about the extent of PDA we are comfortable with displaying in public (and really seeing from others). We recognize it may make some people uncomfortable, but it makes us uncomfortable to hide our relationship for other's comfort. Sometimes we are nervous about it when we are around families, particularly with young kids and it creating a scene, but we do it anyway.

    One of our favorite memories is actually from our engagement trip at Disney World a few years ago. We were at dinner one night and were seated right next to a family with two young girls (old enough to read). Both my partner and I were decked out in Just Engaged buttons and t-shirts we made in Downtown Disney proclaiming our engagement as well. Seeing the family and two young girls, we were both instantly nervous that the parents may disapprove, make a scene, or react in some negative/awkward manner about us. Well, we were pleasantly shocked!!

    When we sat down, the kids saw our shirts and our buttons and instantly were excited and offering their congratulations. The family insisted on taking a picture of my partner and I for us and was extremely kind and supportive. It absolutely blew our minds and was such a wonderful, amazing surprise and was definitely not an interaction we were expecting to have with fellow guests on that trip, particularly from a family with young children. Sometimes people really can surprise you in such a positive way :thumbsup2.

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