Do you help your child with their homework?

[sharbear]

I had to respond to this. My kids are in the 8th and 10th grade and we still help them with their homework. My DS is taking Chemistry this year and there are concepts that he doesn't always get. Of course we explain them to him. Our job as parents is to have successful children. If we give them no guidance then they may flounder. We want them to understand what they are doing so that they become successful adults. There are things that I don't understand and I enjoy having someone explain things to me. Helping your kids with their homework is being responsible.

This is a hot button subject to me. I have a neighbor who has this attitude. She expects that her children be responsible for their own activities and has since they were young. They had to remember when they had sports practices, homework assignments, bringing water bottles to games and such. Fine for an older child, but in the 2nd and 3rd grade! She could never believe all that we did for our kids.

Now that our kids are in HS, mine are very successful. In Honors classes, making the honor roll. We don't do their homework for them but we have certain expectations and we help them achieve them. Her kids are flunking and have other problems. Being a parent is hard work, you can't expect your children to do things without any help.

 

[MerryPoppins]

My kids are older and seldom need my help with homework. Still DH and I are always available to try to help them understand a new and puzzling concept. Teachers don't always know when they introduce a new concept if everyone "got" it. Also, sometimes kids think they understand until they hit a snag and then they're stuck.

Parents like that make me mad. I feel sorry for that little girl.

 

[nkjzmom]

That's pretty sad...I wonder what she did when the poor girl needed to learn to tie her shoes or ride a bike.

I, too, make sure I am always in the room with my kids while they're doing their work. They come home, have a drink and snack, then get started. The younger ones usually want "homework" too, so everybody ends up at the table working, coloring, writing, or drawing. It's kind of fun actually!

My question is do you correct your child's homework? Our oldest is in 3rd grade and will ask us to review his work and if we find errors we'll ask him to look over it again and recheck, but if he were to miss one we'll let it go so that the teacher can catch it. It was hard the first time...he mostly wanted to get done and play so he missed two items and got an 83....his first non-A grade ever. But I think he learned how important really double-checking is.

 

[~Sparkly~Zoe]

Come to think of it Trista only wears shoes/boots that have no ties and her sneakers only have been velcro!

I just helped mine with her homework now.

 

[Mishetta]

Sounds like that mom won't be winning the Mother of the Year award anytime soon!

Anyway, yes both my DH & I help our DS with his homework. Even when he doesn't need help with it, we look it all over before he puts it back in his backpack. We don't do it for him but we help him to figure it out if he's confused.

If it's sloppy, we make him write it over though! (So maybe I won't be winning the Mother of the Year award either, huh?

 

[Blondie]

When my boys were that young, we all got together and sat around the kitchen table after dinner and did homework. I sat there and watched and if they had a question or concern, I was right there to help. I would read the paper or pay a few bills, but I was right there.

Now that they are 12 and 13, they don't require much help, except to make sure it is done at all!

I think that mother is being unrealistic and very harsh on her little girl.

 

[poohbears5]

How sad if it wasn't for me helping ds who has medical and learning difficulities and wonderful and caring teachers he would not make it , that poor child if her education is not imporant to her parents what value will it hold for her?

 

[RUDisney]

I told my sister about this last night. She's a elementary school principal. She said this is a good example of someone who is able to have children who shouldn't have. She said the mother would have to come up with a better excuse than, "I don't want to help her with her homework, so i want her back in first grade," before she would consider moving a child back. She said that maybe Mom should consider a tutor if she doesn't want to help her DD.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents like that out there. When I taught 3rd grade and we were learning our multiplication tables, I had my students make flash cards. I then asked parents to please spend 5 to 10 minutes each night running through the cards with their child. My kids understood the concept, but just needed a little extra practice. I wasn't even asking for a long-term committment. Just until they got the tables down.

I had several parents tell me that they didn't have 5 minutes a day to give to their child. I'm sure my mouth fell open. They told me that helping their kids with school work was MY job and not theirs and not to ask for their help again. THAT was what I was getting paid for.

Now, I wasn't shirking my job. I already helped kids who were struggling that wanted to come in after school or during recess. I just thought parents would want to help their kids succeed. I didn't have time to run the cards with each student each day and still do the assignment for that day. We ended up with the kids running the cards with each other since several parents didn't want to help.

What is wrong with people? Why do they have children if they don't want to be bothered?

 

[powellrj]

putting on the flame suit here, but I have some concerns about this mother. I question if she is capable to help her dd. Did she finish school herself, is she unable to help with the homework due to her own lack of skills. Maybe she can't read, and is very defensive about the fact. She maybe embarrassed by the fact that she can't do the work herself. I know that the schools are asking for more and more help from parents, but I always question what happens to children who come from homes where no one is able to help due to poor learning skills of the parents. If a parents can't read, how can they help with homework. I know the high school graduation rates in our school district are scary and I worry about the children that come in to the lives of parents who can't read. I hope that the teacher will look into this a little farther and maybe get a concerned adult involved with this to help the child after school if the mother is not able.

 

[~Sparkly~Zoe]

Yes this mom can read and yes she graduated from high school. In fact she was working in a grocery store in the office doing all the paperwork(she got fired for insubordination), so yes she can indeed read and comprehend. She is just very lazy.
In fact she doesn't even take her DD anywhere or do anything with her. She is lazy.
This morning at the bus stop her DD just stood in the corner against the building, didn't talk or play with her friends like she usually does. I feel sorry for her.

 

[Mskanga]

My kids are in first and fifth grade, the fifth grader barely ever needs any help, her math though is beyond me, that's when dh comes in handy, LOL.
My first grader obviously needs help, spelling, reading, etc etc. But I also know when she's telling me that she can't do that because she's just plain lazy and wants to get done quick so she can go to play, then I know she wants me to do it, that's when I step back and say , this is your homework, not mine. I will still supervise her doing it and will make sure she does it right , but I know when she's pulling my leg.
School and homework is something my kids know we don't tolerate playing around with, we give them all the help they need, but we also know when they are pulling a fast one.
Sad to see some people just don't care. Things were very different when I grew up , things are taught differently today but I still make an effort to learn alongside my children and help them in any way I can.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by rbuzzotta
My oldest DD (7th grade) does her homework herself and I check to see that all is completed.............I also make sure she does it fully and not partially (which has happened last year!!!).

That is me exactly! I learned to check (now) 7th grade dds homework everyday. Dh has had to spend an hour each night explaining the concepts from her math homework. She thinks she "gets" it and it turns out it is wrong. Thank goodness I knew better this year.

I feel so awful for that little girl...grrrr....the nerve of some folks grrrr....my guess is she will try and get the girl put back and maybe she will not be successful.

 

[RUDisney]

This HAS to be a 6th grade thing. My sister is in 7th grade now and last year, it seemed like she and all of her classmates checked their brains at the door whenever they got to school and got home. The principal told my mother that she thinks it must have something to do with their hormones because it happens every year to 6th graders.

Hopefully, your troubles and my Mom's troubles will subside in 7th grade.

 

[Fire14]

Heck My dad helped me when I was in College. I'd never have made it through Chemistry without his help.