Do you help your child with their homework?

[~Sparkly~Zoe]

The one mom at the bus stop told me this morning that her DD who is in 2nd grade was havign trouble with her homework last night and she refused to help her with it. SHe told her DD that if she couldn't do her homework by herself that she was putting her back down into the first grade. SHe is giving her until this fri to be able to make it herself with no help whatsoever.

Does that seem a little harsh? I know when mine need help I help, not do it for them, but I help explain things or will show an example, etc.

 

[jamsmom]

As a former teacher, I really think it is important that parents help when needed/possible.

Too many children need things reviewed somewhat before starting their homework.

 

[Planogirl]

I would never refuse to help my child with his homework! I can't believe that Mom who refused, where is this child supposed to get help? How sad.

 

[RUDisney]

Maybe the second grade work is just too advanced for that mother's capabilities.

What is she teaching her child? When you have problems, don't bring them to me... I'm not gonna help you...

What a jerk!

Yes, I help my kids... well, DS usually doesn't need the help, but DD needs all the extra learning time that she can get.

 

[RitaZ.]

That seems harsh to me. I think it's important to teach kids to be responsible about doing their homework. However, if they are struggling with a concept, they obviously need help with it.

What will the mom do when Friday comes?

I think that threatening her daughter with having her moved back to 1st grade is more detrimental than helpful. It sounds like the mom is trying to motivate the daughter, but her approach is extreme to me.

Bottom line, IMO, if a child is having difficulty learning or retaining a concept, then he or she needs help from the teacher or the parents.

 

[~Sparkly~Zoe]

She really does plan on putting her DD back into the first grade. She was quite serious about it.
I said do you honestly think that 4 days of school is enough to see fi she is able to do 2nd grade work? WHy won't you help her if she needs it? SHe said "cause I did my time in school, I'm not doing the work again". I said ok but sometimes kids need help with work, like explain to them how it needs to be done or where to get the answers from, not do it for them. She said "nope, I ain't doing it". I dropped it after that. I mean what else can I say?

 

[AirForceRocks]

I think that is extreme, and really sad for the little girl. I can't imagine how she must feel.

My kids (grades 4 & 2) do their homework in the dining room while I'm doing the dishes, so I'm right there if they need help. I don't do it for them, but I do use examples or whatever to explain the concepts that they need to do the homework.

 

[RitaZ.]

Times have changed, our kids are doing way more challenging work than we did in their current grades.

There is really not much you can do... I feel badly for the little girl.

I wonder how receptive the principal will be if mom requests this change for the reason that she stated...

 

[Banshee]

Jeez Is that how she replied? I AINT' doing it! ?? Well with that grammer sounds to me maybe she didnt do her time!! I will always help my children if they need it! I would love to see the schools reaction when she says I wanna put my kid back in first cause I AINT gonna help her with her homework! Jeez some people are really a joke! I feel bad for her daughter to have to be raised by a dim wit!!!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

poor kid.

My children often need help. I have tried really hard over the past two years to encourage them to first try to find the answers themselves and then as a 2nd option to ask me.

Still, especially in Math, I find myself often reteaching a concept from the day. I thin Rita is correct. The classes seem to move awfully fast and the children are expected to keep up.

 

[~Sparkly~Zoe]

At first I thought that maybe I was too judgemental, but I can see that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Thanks.

 

[browneyes]

That's way too harsh from the mom.

 

[Cthia]

I help my DD with her homework. I do have my DD try to figure it out for herself and if she is still having a problem I will help her figure it out. I would never discourage her from asking me to help. I believe that is part of being a parent.

Our school encourages parent participation.

Now a days they expect so much more from the children. Things they are expecting them to learn I didn't learn until years later.

That is ashame that the mother feels that way. Unfortunately that child is going to have problems in school if she feels she has noone to turn for help.

 

[peg2001]

Not only do I help DD6 with her homework, her teacher requires the parent to sign off on it!

The mother is being not only harsh, but cruel.

Peggy

 

[RUDisney]

So, let's say that she convinces the school's administration to put her DD back one grade. What happens next year, when after a week of school, she needs help again? Will she be 30 yo, still in first grade because Mom won't help her?

 

[BWVDenise]

That's really sad. If I didn't help my ds (who gets very intimidated by schoolwork), he would never move to the next grade. IMO, that mom isn't doing anything for her dd's self-confidence!

 

[bsnyder]

Sounds like an extremely selfish and self-centered mom!

But, I do think some parents tend to be overly involved in the homework process. My daughter knows she can always come to me when she truly needs help, but only AFTER she's tried to do it on her own.

I very rarely have to help my high schooler with homework, but I do help quiz him for tests or proofread papers when he asks me too.

 

[rbuzzotta]

My oldest DD (7th grade) does her homework herself and I check to see that all is completed.............I also make sure she does it fully and not partially (which has happened last year!!!). I also try to give her pointers if she appears to be lacking something........


My middle DD needs help. She is in 2nd grade and has difficulty reading............I sit with her and assist her. I make her try to sound out words and try to teach her to become independent.....

I can see not doing your child's homework but you have to assist.

If my girls are having difficulty and I can't help them out, I encourage them to speak to their teacher about it and I usually send a note explaining the difficulty!!

 

[disykat]

Boy do I feel sorry for that child is her mother doesn't change her tune soon. Our district is making up some sort of accountability statement right now that includes students, teachers, and PARENTS as part of our district wide goals. Parents are an integral part! One bonus is that she does seem to be caring that her child does the homework. Hopefully when she approaches the principal, she'll discover how important her role is.

Sometimes I wish there would be a little less that I have to help with in the early grades, but that just seems to be the way it's going now. My oldest started to get more independent in the middle of third grade. Prior to that I had to help pretty much every step of the way. My youngest started 3rd today, so hopefully he'll be more independent soon. Like AFR, my kids do their homework in the kitchen while I do the dishes - so I'm always there to help.

I was homework helper one year. I went into ds's class to help the kids who hadn't done theirs so they could hand it in. Some of the kids you could tell they had tried to do it on their own and I felt so bad for them because they were confused and just needed help. Others didn't seem to have any notion of making a homework routine at home - I'd talk to them about choosing a time and a place to sit down and work and try to get them to commit to it, but it was really tough for them without parental support.

 

[CEDmom]

This is really sad. Does this mother actually think she can just walk into the school and say move my child back a grade and it will happen?