Do you have Debs in your neck of the woods?

[Darsa]

Haha! Your abbreviation confounded me, OP! Now I feel silly

 

[golfgal]

Nope. Then again, we don't have society pages either.

Same here, unless you count the gossip columnist that often talks about local celebs and seeing them out and about around town .

 

[tar heel]

This is NOT something that most girls do. The people who do this are usually girls whose moms, grandmothers, etc. were debutantes. There's some selection process, but I don't care enough about it to know what it is. It also costs thousands and thousands of dollars to be a debutante. It's not just the ball with the white dress (wedding dresses in many cases), but there are dozens of parties. Families are expected to host parties and, of course, the girl has to have something new to wear to every one.

I think it's ridiculous -- definitely not something in my social circle, but it was in DH's and both he and his older brother were escorts.

 

[aprilgail2]

I'm pretty sure they still have them in the NYC/LI area - can't recall any upstate..

:

I am on Long Island and I have never heard of anyone having them! I thought they weer a souther gone withthe wind era type thing--people still have those?????

 

[MrsSpratt]

The debut, or debutante ball has its roots in English history. Until 1955 (I think...) young women of the aristocracy were "presented" to the Queen - in full court dress, including feathers in their hair and trains (difficult to manage when a full court bow and walking backwards in the Queen's presence was required!) Invitations were of course coveted for the cache provided, but it wasn't limited to young girls - for some women married for 30 years it was a huge achievement to be presented! For the young women, after their debut (presentation,) they were allowed to attend adult parties, dress like a woman, wear their hair up, and were basically announcing they were looking to get hitched.

The modern debutante ball in America (and worldwide!) is a different thing (they aren't presented to the Queen...) but the essence is the same: the young woman wears a dress that is most likely the most "grown-up" dress she has ever owned, in the South a curtsey is surely involved, and in Texas it is traditional your nose touches the floor when you bow - it is called the Texas Dip, and is known at deb balls internationally!

Now there are way more types of deb balls then you can imagine. Some support the Symphony, some support the Red Cross (the Vienna International Ball - creme de la creme worldwide) some support tourism in the town. Some have "girls pick your own white dresses" (which is a holdover from Queen Victoria, I think - court dress and all...) and some dresses are designed by professionals, are VERY colorful, and START at 15K. And that is just for the dress.

Is it elitist? Only some of them. Is it expensive? Depends - it ranges from not much to as much as you want to spend. Besides the dress, there is the curtsey fee (which goes to the charity involved or goes to throw the party.)

Modern deb balls are a celebration of young womanhood. Wonderful parties where a group of young women get to dance with their Father and have a great time.

My name is Mrs. Spratt, and I was NOT A deb. And now I'm afraid the dis will think I'm a snob.

PS - NYC has the Infirmary Ball as well as several others - It isn't just Southern! Denver, San Francisco, London, Paris - they all have balls!

 

[kidzmom3]

all of the girls on Gossip Girl were presented at the Debutante Balls.

 

[locolala]

I was involved in the deb balls, I actually kind of enjoyed them. I was also forced to go to etiquette classes and learn all this totally useless stuff.. I'll never need to know half of it. My grandmother insisted on it, she's from an old Texas family that was upper class and enjoyed it. To some extent the classes weren't that bad, I know how to host a nice dinner party that will be beneficial once DH becomes more involved with the political hobnobbing required in the military.

 

[HelenePA]

None here in PA. The only thing I ever saw about this was on Beverly Hills 90210 - when Donna had her coming out party or whatever - the same time she was trying to become a Tournament of Roses Princess. And then Dylan crashed it drunk because he came back into town after losing all his money in a scam, and he wanted to get back with Kelly & here she was with Brandon....ahhh the good old days!

Hi and guess what.. I googled.. there ARE some in PA who knew? One is in dickson city ages 15-19 I had no idea

 

[NotUrsula]

I did. In Louisiana the balls are associated with the Carnival Krewes. I did mine with a Ladies' Krewe that was sponsored by the Garden Club in my town; we were chosen by a committee based on scholarship and community service record. Other than my dress and my family's tickets, there was no real expense. (Now we did have another Krewe that was a men's group, and they did it the traditional way, with gentlemen doing secret bids to get their daughters on the Court. One of my friend's fathers put it this way: "Do you want to be Queen or do you want to go to grad school?" His point was that both experiences would cost the same thing, and he was only willing to pay for one. She picked grad school and settled for being a Maid -- I think more for the fun of seeing her dad in a doublet and tights more than anything else!)

In Louisiana, the primary ball is a tableaux vivant, very choreographed; the party afterward is where the fun starts. It's a useful tradition, and serves to get young ladies and their escorts involved in adult social and service organizations. There are Krewes in Louisiana across all socio-economic levels, so it's a bit more egalitarian than in some places. That's not to say that some Krewes are not very exclusive and full of very wealthy old-money families -- those are still very much alive, but newer groups don't tend to be as dependent on great personal wealth.

Where I live now, in St. Louis, there are three main groups that do presentations. The most exclusive of them is associated with the K of C and the Catholic Church; the debs are presented to the Archbishop at that ball. The other two are much the same as in New Orleans only not associated with Carnival; the debs are the daughters of prominant local businessmen and are presented at a party that is within that group.

In college I made a lot of debutante gowns. At that time they were not wedding gowns because deb gowns are traditionally strapless or have spaghetti straps, but as so many wedding gowns today are in that style, there is more crossover. Still, deb gowns are made specifically for that market, and typically are not as pricey as an actual wedding gown.

It's my understanding that a private Quinceaneara is likely to be MUCH more expensive than a debut with a club ball. Old-money New Yorkers used to do private debut parties for one girl at a time, but I think those are mostly gone now in favor of the group debut.

 

[autumnpalm]

I'm in Canada and I've never heard of anything like that here. I do have admit though, they sound kind of like fun! I would have totally gone for that in high school.

 

[alexandria674]

I don't know about debutante balls but I do know that a quinceanera is kind of like a debutante ball. I had one and it was pretty fun. It actually wasn't as expensive as some would think, I mean I have been to full out quinceaneras but I also have been to smaller ones that were just as (if not more) elegant.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

Here in the Los Angeles area quinceañeras seem to be popular among the hispanic (only ones I know are Mexican) families. I'm part Mexican, and when I was a teen no one in our family had quinceañeras, but my children have been to several. One of my friends had one for her daughter, and it ran about $15K. She did have a lot of sponsors, though, and they paid for a lot of the accessories (crazy expensive). Another friend had a debut for his daughter in the Filipino tradition, and that was just beautiful. His daughter was involved in the drama club and choir, and her court entertained us with several songs and dances. Quinceañeras are for the 15th birthday, and the Filipino debut is for 18 year olds .. at least that is my understanding.

 

[princesspumpkin]

The debut, or debutante ball has its roots in English history. Until 1955 (I think...) young women of the aristocracy were "presented" to the Queen - in full court dress, including feathers in their hair and trains (difficult to manage when a full court bow and walking backwards in the Queen's presence was required!) Invitations were of course coveted for the cache provided, but it wasn't limited to young girls - for some women married for 30 years it was a huge achievement to be presented! For the young women, after their debut (presentation,) they were allowed to attend adult parties, dress like a woman, wear their hair up, and were basically announcing they were looking to get hitched.

The modern debutante ball in America (and worldwide!) is a different thing (they aren't presented to the Queen...) but the essence is the same: the young woman wears a dress that is most likely the most "grown-up" dress she has ever owned, in the South a curtsey is surely involved, and in Texas it is traditional your nose touches the floor when you bow - it is called the Texas Dip, and is known at deb balls internationally!

Now there are way more types of deb balls then you can imagine. Some support the Symphony, some support the Red Cross (the Vienna International Ball - creme de la creme worldwide) some support tourism in the town. Some have "girls pick your own white dresses" (which is a holdover from Queen Victoria, I think - court dress and all...) and some dresses are designed by professionals, are VERY colorful, and START at 15K. And that is just for the dress.

Is it elitist? Only some of them. Is it expensive? Depends - it ranges from not much to as much as you want to spend. Besides the dress, there is the curtsey fee (which goes to the charity involved or goes to throw the party.)

Modern deb balls are a celebration of young womanhood. Wonderful parties where a group of young women get to dance with their Father and have a great time.

My name is Mrs. Spratt, and I was NOT A deb. And now I'm afraid the dis will think I'm a snob.

PS - NYC has the Infirmary Ball as well as several others - It isn't just Southern! Denver, San Francisco, London, Paris - they all have balls!

Wow, thanks Mrs. spratt! That was a lovely definition of the Deb balls. It's funny how you can get a different impression of it, depending who how someone describes it.

I have heard of them for many years, but have never been to one.

 

[klacey1]

None in Westchester County, NY! A lot of girls here have Sweet 16's, which would be the closest thing, I suppose (fancy dresses, big parties).
However, my freshman year roommate from college was from Winston Salem, North Salem, and her town had them for the girls sophomore year of college. However, not every girl was invited to participate-- just the old Southern money girls.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I never heard of debutante balls here in Long Island. We do have Sweet 16 parties if that is similiar.

 

[Aisling]

They still have them here in NYC, but it's the Manhattan "socialites", not the rest of us other-borough paupers.

 

[arminnie]

However, I know quite a few wealthy Dallas folks and none have a daughter who is a deb.

Dallas presents a very small number of debs - usually around 9-10. At least the Idlewild (oldest one) does it that way. I don't think wealth can necessarily buy an Idlewild membership.

I'm in northeast Arkansas and have lived here all my life. To my knowledge, we don't have debs around here.

Lots of them in Little Rock. It is often anyone who belongs to a certain club. Each group is usually quite large - around 40. Must be well over 100 from the different organizations.

In Louisiana the balls are associated with the Carnival Krewes.

Yes - Louisiana really does it up. A friend's daughter was queen of one of the really big ones in New Orleans a couple of years ago. She also got presented by two other groups and was a maid in some of the other courts.

I went to a private women's college in New Orleans - the vast majority of my classmates made a debut someplace. Some places it was anyone who belonged to the local country club. In others (like Dallas) the membership of some very exclusive private organization presented the daughters of members. Money often had little to do with it. I know several debs whose family situation could best be described as "genteel poverty". Their great grandfather had a membership in an organization, and they were eligible for a debut although the family money was long gone.

I was not a debutante. Although I must confess that I was selected for membership in the Slipper Club (yes like Cinderella) in Dallas. The Slipper Club automatically took the Idlewild Debs and about 10 other young college grads. This was decades ago. I was not from a wealthy family at all - but I was friends with a lot of girls from old families.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Haha! Your abbreviation confounded me, OP! Now I feel silly

Not exactly a debutante, but he certainly came out!

 

[kimmar067]

It's that time of year. The society pages in the paper are covered with photos of groups of beautiful young women in white gowns, looking like a large groomless group wedding. Debutante balls and coming out parties are still alive and well in the South. Born and raised in Michigan, I have never experienced this tradition.

Is it only in the South? I don't ever remember seeing signs of it until I moved to SC in 1985, and now in Savannah. What do you think of them? Are they silly ancient class dividers? Or charming traditions steeped in history? Did you come out? (no, not the kind of coming out my DBIL did!)

I don't really care either way, but I always wondered if those were actual bridal gowns or special ones that look just like them.

...in MY 'neck of the woods', people would LAUGH at the idea of a 'coming out'.....

 

[kimmar067]

None in Westchester County, NY! A lot of girls here have Sweet 16's, which would be the closest thing, I suppose (fancy dresses, big parties).
However, my freshman year roommate from college was from Winston Salem, North Salem, and her town had them for the girls sophomore year of college. However, not every girl was invited to participate-- just the old Southern money girls.

I never heard of debutante balls here in Long Island. We do have Sweet 16 parties if that is similiar.

...here too...