Do you have an ex who is trifiling?

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

they're just throwing veiled personal attacks around.

 

[jfulcer]

jfulcer-what was your comment about? what is the othervillaness?

TheOtherVillianess is another DIS poster who posts things exactly like this - the back and forth tugs of a family in crisis when a child is involved. Everyone gets all riled up about it because it just isn't right (and this is NOT right - not matter how 'joined' you are because of your child). People post all kinds of helpful advice and suggestions on how to get out of the situation.

DISers expend emotional energy on trying to help and getting the original poster going in what one would hope would be the *right* direction. Or really, any OTHER direction.

But alas, it is all for naught because the status quo is much easier. Advice is ignored, excuses are made, suggestions are left flying in the wind.

If you feel strong enough to post your frustrations over your 'trifling husband' (who's not your ex, yet) to 60,000 complete strangers, then take a stand and make a step in the right direction. Your child will model their behavior in some way or form from BOTH parents. Do you want your child doing the same thing your husband is doing?

If your husband is in fact trifling, why does he irritate you so??

 

[jfulcer]

they're just throwing veiled personal attacks around.

No, not a personal attack. Just frustration about the life of a child that is going through this. The OP may in fact listen. But since she's put up with this for 6 years, my guess is she will not.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Mylilnikita,

The girl friend may have bought your DD all the presents in the world but the fact that she is #5 in a continuous stream of girl friends, is involved in an "open marriage", moving into her parent's home with your husband (which makes me question the sanity of her parents) would be enough to curtail any socialization with my DD.

TC

 

[mylilnikita]

Well thank you for finally explaining all that. First of all, I can vent all I want and if you don't like it, dont read it. He is so trifiling because he like you, doesn't have enough guts to say stuff outright-hence the veiled attack. He is trifiling because while I was in the hospital with my daughter and I almost died, he was sleeping around. He is trifiling because he thinks he is all that and he isn't. Let's see, after he left, I got full custody, child support and alimony and gee whiz, I didn't even have to consult these boards back then. As for the divorce, well just waiting for him to do since he wanted out so badly, but yet again, not enough guts. So, I have done things and I will be calling my lawyer in the morning. And I was reading people's advice. But most part of writing it was a vent and I thought other people may have trifiling ex's out there who needed a vent as well.


And my daughter is now old enough to say I want to see my father and do you think I am going to tell her no and have her resent me? She can make up her own mind about him

And for the first couple years, he didn't see his daughter, so the first years he wasn't around her.
Tuff cookie, if you read correctly I wrote that since they will be moving DD won't be seeing much if at any of them

 

[jfulcer]

Well thank you for finally explaining all that. First of all, I can vent all I want and if you don't like it, dont read it. He is so trifiling because he like you, doesn't have enough guts to say stuff outright-hence the veiled attack.

Sorry, I assumed that quite a large number of people knew of TOV - she's started a good half dozen threads exactly like this. And as for having a reputation for veiled attacks, I most likely have a reputation for speaking my mind. Quite loudly.

He is trifiling because while I was in the hospital with my daughter and I almost died, he was sleeping around. He is trifiling because he thinks he is all that and he isn't. Let's see, after he left, I got full custody, child support and alimony and gee whiz, I didn't even have to consult these boards back then. As for the divorce, well just waiting for him to do since he wanted out so badly, but yet again, not enough guts. So, I have done things and I will be calling my lawyer in the morning. And I was reading people's advice. But most part of writing it was a vent and I thought other people may have trifiling ex's out there who needed a vent as well.

"Past performance predicts future returns". You've had 6 years to do this. If you do, in fact, go to a lawyer again and get those final strings cut - I will be the first one to literally eat my keyboard. In my past history of reading this board, it's a rare occurance for a poster to actually follow advice. It happens, and I can pray it happens for you.

And I'm sorry, I saw the vent and your responses. "Past performance predicts future returns"

And my daughter is now old enough to say I want to see my father and do you think I am going to tell her no and have her resent me? She can make up her own mind about him.

I assume she's around 6? Or younger? Unless she's in her teens, IMHO she cannot form a valid opinion of her Dad and what constitutes normal. And even then it's questionable. It's not your job to be your daughter's best friend. It's your job to be the Mom and protect her from questionable situations - and your husband is one big question mark.

I will hope you do call the lawyer. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

 

[MidNite]

Were his initials GDH? If so, I think I dated him.......

 

[Tuffcookie]

I assume she's around 6? Or younger? Unless she's in her teens, IMHO she cannot form a valid opinion of her Dad and what constitutes normal. And even then it's questionable. It's not your job to be your daughter's best friend. It's your job to be the Mom and protect her from questionable situations - and your husband is one big question mark.

Jeff, ITA!