Do you have a work spouse?

[emer95]

Yes! I adore my work spouse. He is hilarious, he totally gets my work stories, he is wonderful to vent to, and we both care about each other very much. He's really attractive, too.
He's also gay. He's the perfect work spouse. My husband thinks he's terrific!

My husband's "work spouse" is his secretary. She's almost 70 and she makes my husband's life very comfortable and easy at work. We both love her.

Now, if my work buddy was a hetero guy, I probably would not have as close of a relationship with him. And if my husband's secretary was a hot 22 year old instead of a sweet 68 year old, I'm sure I'd feel differently about her.

 

[topolino]

I think the phrase "work spouse" is absurd. "Spouse" connotates someone with whom you have a sexual relationship. So if you are married and have a co-worker with whom you have sex, you are cheating on your actual spouse. If you are single and have a co-worker like that, you have a lover.

But, if you have a co-worker in whom you can confide and whom you trust, which is what most people mean by "work spouse", than in my opinion, you have a "friend". And really, what is wrong with just calling them that?

 

[MissElizabeth]

I do! I work in the same office as my husband, on the same team, so my real spouse is my work spouse

I will say we work with a pair that we always tease about being work spouses; they sit next to each other, taunt each other, tease each other, bicker and argue, and support each other. We always joke about how they need couples therapy. Both are very happily married, and there's nothing at all sexual about it.

 

[Kellydelly]

Agreed! Something about using the term "work spouse" sits wrong in my craw. If DH felt close enough with someone to call them his spouse at work, I'd have to question it. A spouse is someone you share your life with. Your secrets. One in whom you divest the deepest confidences. No aspect of you is off limits to a spouse.

This should never be someone at work if you're married. A work-buddy, work-brother/sister or work-family just sounds so much less nefarious.

In the interest of full disclosure, this is how DH and I met.

A "work spouse" is someone that would look out for you, grab an extra donut for you, get you a soda from the machine or a coffee if they are going that way. It's not meant as a replacement for your actual spouse, it is just someone at work who treats you nice like your spouse does. That's how I see it . Not someone who knows all your secrets or anything that deep.

 

[bicker]

Yeah, but that really underscores why the word "spouse" is wrong, and "sibling" works better.

 

[topolino]

A "work spouse" is someone that would look out for you, grab an extra donut for you, get you a soda from the machine or a coffee if they are going that way. It's not meant as a replacement for your actual spouse, it is just someone at work who treats you nice like your spouse does. That's how I see it . Not someone who knows all your secrets or anything that deep.

I'd still call that a friend.

 

[mickeymedic]

Yeah, but that really underscores why the word "spouse" is wrong, and "sibling" works better.

I agree. I have two "brothers" at work - an older brother and a little brother. I watch their back, they watch mine. I'd go to the ends of the earth for them, and they would do the same for me. It is definitely a step above the normal "friend/co-worker" relationship. But not in the same vein as a "spouse." I've heard the terms work wife and work husband a lot in my lines of work. It is usually light-hearted term used between two ambulance partners or office mates who spend all day every day together. When you spend that much time together, close friendships tend to form.

 

[brat]

We used to tease my Uncle about his "work wife" then a weel before his 22 aniversery with his wife he left for his "work wife". So no I do not have a "work husband" and DH does not have a "work wife".

My Dad had a close female co-worker but it never got as close as our Uncle did with his.Dad used to joked that his co-worker was Moms "Honey do reminder" because her husband was alway fixing something which he would go home to see if it was working.Mom would thank them for preventing big repair bills.

 

[Pakey]

I've never had a work spouse or sibling. I keep my distance. I do have an assistant who does things for me but I wouldn't consider her my work daughter. I've never been that close to people at work.

 

[DVC-Don]

My wife and I work together in our own business.

 

[postage stamp]

I did at a job I had years ago. He and I worked together for years and we got along really well. My boyfriend at the time (now my husband) didn't care because he liked the guy too, and he trusted me. He's actually our younger daughter's Godfather. Love that guy. I'd give him a kidney if he needed it.

I don't focus so much on the term "spouse" as I do the feeling behind it. He was a person that I met through work and through our working experiences and personalities we became great friends. More than friends, we became family.

 

[WDWBarb]

I've had several co-workers (and one boss) that referred to me as their "work wife." They mean nothing else by it except that I'm the one that looks out for them and they can trust (and vice-versa). The term isn't comfortable for everyone, but the meaning shouldn't be that you have a replacement spouse at the office. It only means that you have a relationship that isn't just co-worker. It's a trust relationship where you care enough about each other to provide good advice and to look out for each other.

My DH has a "work wife" and she is also my friend. She is the one that tells him to calm down when he gets upset about nothing, provides him advice on how to handle situations at the office that I know nothing about (and not being there, really can't provide any good insight). When I see her, she tells me what's going on in his life in the 8 hour period every day that I'm not with him.

My "work husbands" turn to me when they need help, they ask me for advice in situations where a softer side should come into play, and when I see that they might be treating their REAL wife in a way that isn't cool, I step in and give them a good swift kick. I have babysat their kids, lunched with their wives, been there when they received terrible news at work. Not only are their wives comfortable with me, they have my number and call me when they want to talk.

Maybe "work Mom" is more appropriate.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I used to but he left the company a few years ago. We had a lot in common, were close in age, reported to the same supervisor, had similar work ethics, tastes in TV/movies/jokes, etc. He was someone I could confide in about work issues who would never take it further but understood the dynamics and people of the office and vice versa.

 

[doxdogy]

No one I would label as my work husband. But on occasion, I have told the recruiters that I support that I have 51 husbands. The 50 of them that I support and the one at home and none of you listen to me.

I did have a 1SG that liked to argue with me and our Captain told us we sounded like an old married couple that argue with each other constantly.

 

[Tink888]

A work spouse is a co-worker (usually of the opposite sex)[1] with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, confidences, loyalties, shared experiences, and a degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to be there. As people work more and more and spend less and less time at home, these hybrid relationships have begun to spawn more and more.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work_spouse

I have this with a male co-worker. There's definitely more to the relationship than that of other co-workers but it's strictly platonic. I'm married, he's married. Not a chance it would ever go anywhere. He's like the older brother I never had.

 

[aprilgail2]

Yes- sure do! Well....sure DID---we worked together for 20+ years but he has retired and I still have 2 years to go. Sure made it easier to go to work when you had tight friends there---NEVER EVER anything the least bit romantic or anything between us but plenty of talk, lunches, help etc... most people at work have a work spouse!

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I have a school husband, we see each other more than we see our finances because we take nearly all the same classes and study together all the time. It's awesome because we are good at different things so we can really help each other out when necessary. But it's so strictly platonic it's crazy. I think a lot of the concern behind those who don't like the term have never had a work spouse and haven't really seen how it's not really comparable to a marriage. It's just what it's called, expressing more of a relationship than just a normal co-worker.

 

[Planogirl]

I think that the term "work spouse" is weird but I do understand the relationship. I've had this myself a few times, usually with members of the opposite sex for some reason, but I would just call them friends. In fact some months ago, such an individual got fired (my company's method of laying people off) and I'm still very sad about it.

 

[Tigger2252]

I have had two different bosses that have referred to me as their "work wife". One retired, and the other one I have working with for about 6 years. I like to think of myself as an excellent Administrative Assistant. I anticipate what they need and make sure they have it before they even know they need it. They have both called me "Radar" (like the guy from MASH). I am their sounding board, confidant (about work issues), and someone they can trust implicitly in the office. They know that I "have their back". Because we work so closely we talk about our families, our kids, and so forth. I have been on good terms with both of their wives and have chatted with them many times. My husband and I have been invited to their holidays, and both of them have told my husband they don't know what they would do without me. But that's it. No romance, no illicit affairs, nothing like that. I consider them both my friends.

 

[diznee25]

That's how DH and I met 12 years ago, we both worked for the same company. We've been together 10 years and still work together after all these years. So he's my 'real husband' and 'work spouse'!

Now, given how our relationship started at work, if we ever worked for separate companies I would not want my DH having a 'close' relationship with another woman. And I wouldn't do that with another man. Coworkers are just coworkers, and we tend to keep our personal lives out of the work place. Our conversations with coworkers tend to be about very general topics.

diznee25