Do you have a will?

[mt2]

With some of the stuff that has happened lately with us I began to think about my parents. Both of them updated their wills, living wills, and burial desires (mom). My in laws have nothing in writing and don't want to discuss it.

My mom has her clothes picked out depending on the season and if they still fit. This changes often and she is in perfect health. Just in case she gets hit by that infamous "bus" that we all hear about. Her music is picked out. 50's tunes, showtunes, and Disney ofcourse.She wants Illuminations or Circle of Life for the end of the service. No one is allowed to wear black. A nice floral pattern is perfered. She would like to be cremated.

My dad could care less what happens. His words," I'm dead. What do I care what you do?"

To distract my DH thoughts of his mom, I told him that I would like to be buried in my "Disney Fun Seekers" t-shirt I got from TDS. MM ears would be a nice addition. If it is summer, a pair of shorts or jean skirt would do. In winter, jeans (with socks, my feet get cold). No shoes please. In one hand would be a stick from a MM premium ice cream bar and in the other my AP.

My DH was laughing and smiling. "Your a die heart to the end!"

How about you? Do you have any plans?

Happy Thoughts to all,

mt2

 

[C.Ann]

Yes - DH & I both have wills.. Very important - especially with "blended" families as things can get very nasty when someone passes on.. Heck - things get nasty even in traditional families!

We both want to be cremated - no church sevices.. If DH goes first, his remains will be buried at a national military cemetery and then I'll be buried there as well.. If I go first, my ashes will be saved until DH passes - then our ashes will be combined and scattered somewhere up here at the lake..

 

[CEDmom]

One of the documentation requirements we had to adopt DD was to name a guardian for her. This kind of got the ball rolling for us to each do a final will & testament, living will and power of attorney. My mom has all your affairs in order, she's got her service selected. As far as clothes etc I guess she'll leave that up to me since she hasn't said anything. As far as my MIL goes we don't even know what her finances are. She refuses to share this and we refuse to play games with her about it so that's not getting us very far. We've made it clear to my BIL whose single and lives with MIL that he better know what's going on but that's gone over like a lead brick. oh well, I'm not going to stress over it.

Edited to add:

Here's something I find really freaky. After my FIL passed away my MIL bought a cemetary plot for herself and my DH and BIL. This was done before I met DH. FIL is buried in his family's plot and there's enough room for my MIL but she doesn't want to be buried with her own MIL. Strange enough on it's own that a husband and wife won't be buried together but it gets better. She bought the headstone and had her name, DH's name and BIL's name along with their birthdates put on it . Can you imagine seeing your name on a headstone . Of course I told DH that it would remain unused because I have no intention of buring him there. He doesn't want to be there either.

 

[SplshMtn99]

Yes, DH & I did our wills (& durable power of attys & health care proxies & final arrangements) at age 35 after reading Suzu Orman's books. Ours were simple since no children involved. Did it ourselves using software. Had them checked by attyorney's I work for. ( I work at an insurance agency owned by a family of attys.)

My 20 yr career of banking & insurance has let me see ALOT of what happens when people don't take care of things in their life.

Taking care of everything & not leaving it to family to take care of is the best gift you can leave them when you are gone.!!!!

I try to keep our financial house in very good order.


My parents on the other hand are awful! They are 74 & don't have wills. My dad has a business. I keep getting after them to DO SOMETHING.....so I won't be left with this mess!

 

[Keli]

Nah, I don't have a will. I guess I should get around to that someday. As for the service or whatever, I'm with you're dad on that one. I'll be dead, I don't care what I'm wearing or what the service is like. I did mention to my dh one time that he better not bring a date to my funeral though, lol. (I have an uncle that started dating so soon after his wife of 30+ years passed that we joked that he almost did that!)

 

[tar heel]

Of course we do -- I think it would be irresponsible for someone with children to not have a will. What if we both died at the same time? We have a guardian appointed for the children and the estate would become a trust to take care of them. DH and I are in both his brothers' wills as guardians of their children, too.

My parents have a will but not a lot of instructions on their wishes otherwise. My mother showed me where their safe deposit box key is just recently. My in-laws have done extensive financial estate planing and have detailed instructions on everything. My father-in-law, a physician, sent us health care power of attorneys and living wills when we were in our '20s and early '30s -- he has too much firsthand knowledge of what happens when someone doesn't make their desires known. He also has talked to us at length about his estate/wishes (talks I hate b/c I adore him) and has a clearly labeled file about his death.

 

[Disney Doll]

After my in-laws died and I saw the behavior of 2 of my DSILs, I deceided that DH and I would have wills. Since we have no children, our estate gets spilt 50/50 bewteen my side of the family and his...basically 50% to my brother and 50% to his 3 sisters to be split among them. My brother is executor, as he will be able to "handle" the 2 SILs who will act up. I have also written out some things that I want to go to specific people and included them as part of my will. I actually have a notebook with all of our important information, financial, insurance, retirement funds etc all spelled out. In the event that DH and I both die, my DB will have at least a place to start. I have all the financial stuff pretty much organized in one filing cabinet in the house. I really tried to make it as simple as possible.

At a difficult time, I think the more "instructions" those left behind have to go by, the better.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

No i dont have a will
I guess I should start thinking about that stuff imnot getting any younger and I have 2 children..
Thanks for starting this thread

 

[DoeWDW]

We do have a will, but your thread reminded me that DH and I want to revise it to change the guardian of our children. Thanks for the reminder!!

 

[liznboys]

Originally posted by Keli
Nah, I don't have a will. I guess I should get around to that someday. As for the service or whatever, I'm with you're dad on that one. I'll be dead, I don't care what I'm wearing or what the service is like. I did mention to my dh one time that he better not bring a date to my funeral though, lol. (I have an uncle that started dating so soon after his wife of 30+ years passed that we joked that he almost did that!)

LOL!!

We don't have a will. I know, bad. I admit it's probably partly because we just don't want to think about our deaths..stupid I know!!

 

[Mad4Mickey]

I had a very close friend die unexpectly last Dec. She was only 47 no will , never married, no children . Only close to me really not even her sister knew where to find everything . I am still taking care of the house and its contents until we can get it through court. Her folks are old and cant really even deal with the fact she is dead much less the house . She was well off and the house is cramed with things. I have no idea who she would want to get half that stuff . I have a Will and I think everyone no matter thier age should .
The stress your family and friends will go through is nothing compared to the stress of you just writting down in a notebook what you want to happen . That is better then nothing

 

[Dan Murphy]

So VERY important, to both have wills, but then also guardianships spelled out if you have children (and discuss with both them and the guardians if they are older, get their input), as well as trusts to both manage while the kids are younger but then also a plan of distribution (not just, here ya are, you are of age') over a period of time after their majority. Lots of horror stories out there, as mentioned above.

 

[4nana]

Definitely!
It is alot less stressful for the family if all this is taken care of beforehand. We have wills, living wills, POA all set up. Do not want any more grief than necessary for our 4 adult children when that time comes. They also know our wishes and where all important papers are located.
Have to admit, have not picked out our outfits yet

Godspeed ^i^
~ Sandie

 

[tiggerlover]

Yes, DH and I have wills, but we do not have any burial plans. My parents on the other hand have everything planned, they even have their plots and the headstone already erected!!

 

[froglady]

We have wills, POA. Health Care Surrogates, Living Wills, and guardians with a trust set up. (The executer of the trust is a lawyer family member, the guardians are our next door neighbors. That way our son doesn't even have to change schools if we both die.)

Both my husband and I are being cremated with no public viewing, so I don't care what I wear.

My grandfather bought a large family plot in the 1920s, and there is room for us there; urns can fit 3 to a grave. I have the deed, contact number, etc in my papers.

Make sure that as many family members as possible know your plans, and that your funeral plans are NOT in your will, unless a family member has a copy. The will isn't usually read until after the funeral.

Also, in many states, a safety deposit box is "sealed" upon death until the estate is probated. Not only do you need a key, but you have to have your signature on file as a legal user who can access it at will.

My eldery mother has my name on all of her accounts so that I can pay bills, etc, if she is unable.

 

[Mskanga]

No , but our situation is tricky because it involves my sister being the guardian of my children if something ever happened to us. The attorney told us that is not always enforceable.
It's something that we have to look into with more details though.

 

[Beth76]

No we don't. But I wouldn't even know where to start. I think the hardest thing would be choosing guardians for our two kids. We would probably just give everything we have to our children and guardians. But, I have no idea who they would be. We know that we need to do it, but we just don't know how to go about doing it.

 

[aprilgail2]

As soon as my daughter was born I went right to the lawyer and had a will made up. I am a single parent and I wanted to be sure that there would be no fighting for her if I died. I named a first choice guardian and then if she is unwilling or unable to do it I named a second. I also made a totally seperate person in charge of all her finances so the people that get custody would not also be in charge of her money. If you have a child it is very important you make arrangements for them should anything happen to you!

 

[Serena]

I have a will, but it's got to be changed now.

 

[Disneyland_emily]

Yup-

Everything is in order- I like the peace of mind knowing that if something were to happen everything would be okay-

-em