Do you give- or receive- more at Christmas?

[bad-typist]

At Christmas time I spend alot of money. I buy gifts for almost twenty different relatives and I am paying for my gifts on my credit cards and pay until next Christmas a little at a time. At 18% interest- that is alot of money. There is alot of family and peer pressure on me to spend big bucks at Christmas time. I have suggested to the family that we cut down on our spending this year and it was rejected out of hand. I do not want to make to many waves so I have dropped the subject.

When I get the presents at Christmas time, most of the gifts are something I do not really need, so I feel riped off. Anyone else feel that way about Christmas? Help!

 

[Christine]

Well, I've never, ever felt "forced" to spend a certain amount of money. Part of that is my personality--I don't care who it is--I will not be bullied into doing something I don't agree with.

Having said that, I *do* spend too much at Christmas. Things are just so expensive and I like to buy people nice things. But, if I had to do it at 18% interest and take a year to pay it off--no way. I make sure that I put it on a 0% card and I try to pay everything off within about 3 months.

 

[EthansMom]

Are you a Troll? (Figured I'd ask since this is your first post.)

We don't spend money we don't have on gifts -- not for us and certainly not for others. Our budget for Christmas is still around 1-1.5% of our annual income if you add up gifts, decorations, food, shipping, etc.

On Christmas cards, I send more than I receive and I'm really thinking about cutting down the number that I send next year.

On gifts, I get roughly the same number of gifts as I receive. For DH's and my parents and stepparents and our neices and nephews, we spend roughly $20 per person. By mutual agreement, we don't get gifts for our brothers or their wives. We give family photos to our extended family members at the holidays, but don't buy for anyone else unless it's a "hostess-type" gift when visiting for a party.

If your Christmas buying is causing a financial hardship, then you should just give people a "heads up" earlyish in the year that you will be cutting back next Christmas and would prefer to not exchange gifts, or would prefer if they would spend less money on you next year.

Merry Christmas!

 

[stinkerbelle]

Christmas is not "tit for tat" IMO.

I give what I want to give...not because someone else is forcing me to give something.

no offense - but grow a backbone and put your foot down...christmas, IMO, is not worth going into debt over.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Are you a Troll? (Figured I'd ask since this is your first post.)

I think so. Maybe C/I/Q reincarnated?

 

[Meriweather]

I give to who and what I want.
We spend more than we receive ....and I like that.
My kids can't afford to give back what we give them, nor do I want them too.
Some elderly relatives can't afford to give anything....and I love sending special things to them.
We pay our credit card off every month and would never go in debt to give a lot of things.
I wouldn't care if we didn't get anything....but I love to give

 

[L107ANGEL]

Thats what I was just thinking! What an interesting question to start a pretty expensive conversation

 

[mickeyfan2]

And your other post is:

"It is only a few days to Christmas day. I have five sisters that all live within 30 miles of the house. I only see (and talk) to them at Christmas. The rest of the time we are stangers who have very little in common and almost nothing to say to each other since Mom and Dad have passed. There is no real anger, just a general coldness and chill to the air. At Christmas, the conversation is usually forced and full of long silences. The mood is very ill at ease. I spend alot of money to buy gifts for everyone and usually leave feeling empty and hurt at the end of the day.

Anyone just cut off the family (you have nothing in common with) at Christmas? Or would that be wrong?"


So are these the people who force you to buy them gifts and go into debt?

 

[anewvance]

I give much much more but funny enough I get excited on Christmas day because I get to watch the people I bought for open their presents. I usually get the exact same thing every year from my family, except dh so it's same ole same ole for me. But I just get excited about them opening what I got them... it's fun!

 

[bad-typist]

Yes, I have two posts about my problems with Christmas. I was told I could get good advice from the nice people on this board.

It is timely!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

why are you paying 18% on your credit cards? That is a really high rate card. I'd look into finding something better. I don't spend tons of money on people I don't like much but ---

I have children, I give way more than I receive.

 

[Puffy2]

Perhaps you should rethink the gift thing. First of all, I wouldn't go into debt over it. Brothers, sisters, parents, cousins, friends - you can tell all of them "sorry, I just could't swing it this year" - perhaps get a box of cards instead and pass one to each family member. Or bake cookies. Or just forget it all together. Who says you have to give a present?

And , no I don't feel ripped off if I don't get something good - I guess because I don't give to receive.

 

[disneymom3]

Well, I give a lot more than I receive and I will admit that sometimes I am a bit bummed at the gifts I get---or do not get from DH. I have read the book The Five Love Languages and I am clearly speaking a gift giving language. Sadly, it is a foreign language to DH and while I have figured out that his main language is service and so try to keep that in mind in what I do for him, he has not and most probably will not, read the book. So, I am screwed......

My choices are getting my own gifts (which I did last year,) giving him a very specific list(in which case IMO I may as well just do the shopping too) or giving very broad hints which I have tried this year but since he has told me he only has one idea that clearly has not worked, or getting stuff that I do not want and will not use. I try really hard not to be bummed, but I really put a lot of time and care into gifts so it is hard not to get any of that back. It is not intentionally and rationally I know he just sucks at shopping, but I still would like something he thought of on his own that fits who I am.

However, I certainly would not be going into debt--especially if you don't even like the people! For the last few years we have been very financially strapped and I have found ways to get very frugal gifts for people by finding internet freebies, finding new stuff at garage sales, etc.

 

[Bob Slydell]

A wise man once said, It's far greater to give than receive.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Yes, I have two posts about my problems with Christmas. I was told I could get good advice from the nice people on this board.

It is timely!

Yes it is timely. But who told you to go to a Disney site to get advice on debt and sibling problems. Maybe a call to Dr. Laura might be a better place to start.


BTW I also see you were just on a 10 day cruise. It seems you know how to spend money.

 

[Blondy876]

If I can afford to spend I do. We were able to spend quite a bit this year (well over $1000) and do it all in cash. We don't even have credit cards anymore. I can't imagine putting a huge amount of money on a cc at 18% interest?!? That's a lot of money.

My family never puts any pressure on us to buy. In fact, they always tell us we spent too much. For us it's about being each other, not spending on each other.