Do you give Christmas gifts to people you barely know, service people, or ...

C.Ann

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May 13, 2001
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People you just plain don't like and/or get along with?

And if so, do you do it because you "want" to do it?

Feel pressured (by others) to do it?

Feel obligated to do it?

Because everyone else does it?

Are embarrassed "not" to do it?

Do it even though you're strapped and can't afford to do it?

------------------------------------------

Is there someplace where you "draw the line"?

 
People you just plain don't like and/or get along with?

And if so, do you do it because you "want" to do it?

Feel pressured (by others) to do it?

Feel obligated to do it?

Because everyone else does it?

Are embarrassed "not" to do it?

Do it even though you're strapped and can't afford to do it?

------------------------------------------

Is there someplace where you "draw the line"?


Do you?

Do you give gifts to all your grown children, their spouses, your grandkids? Same if you have steps. Siblings, nieces, nephews, parents, grandparents etc.?
 
No. I only give gifts when I really feel I want to give the gift. For the most part, the only people I give to at Christmas and on their birthdays are my daughter and my sister. Any other gifts are random, just because I feel like it gifts. For instance, last week, I sent a new Disney antenna topper to a friend in Missouri. It was totally unexpected. I just saw it and thought of her. To me, that's the best way to give and receive gifts.
 

Do you?

Do you give gifts to all your grown children, their spouses, your grandkids? Same if you have steps. Siblings, nieces, nephews, parents, grandparents etc.?

I definitely have a place where I draw a line in the sand..

I give gifts to the people that I want to - no other reason..:santa:
 
I do not.

I DO, however, like to leave a small package of cookies for the letter carrier, and cookies and hot chocolate for the garbage men on the last pickup before Christmas. I don't know if that counts as a "gift", but I feel bad for them out in the cold, so it is something nice I like to do.
 
I give small gift cards to all sorts of service people I barely know. I like to give little gift cards to the girls that make my coffee at the local coffee shop, and if I go to a resteraunt I usually leave a much larger tip near the holidays. I guess the part I enjoy most is seeing how happy it makes people. I do not have a lot of money, but I do enjoy giving gifts. I like surprising people.

The only person I ever felt "obligated" to gift that didnt deserve it was my paper person, the paper showed up half of the time and the bill was always wrong. He never deserved a tip. He was awful! Last year I felt like I "HAD" to give him a gift cuz he kept ringing the bell with my paper Christmas week to say Happy Holidays. I gave him a small gift (box of candy) and cancelled the paper.
 
I buy gifts for mom, dad aunts and uncles, kids nieces, nephews, inlaws. I also buy something for my sons surgeon, dr and naturopath. Just something like a gift card usually. I like to bake but I know longer give "home made" baked goods to service providers.

I know where I work when a client brings in homemade food items they usually go straight to the trash. I used to bake for service peoviders but now I will give gift cards or something....sad really but you just never know.

And all of those people that I buy for I do it because I want to. I also buy for a local family that is struggling from the "young moms agency" and buy the christmas dinner a 2 gifts each for the mom and child. If there are more than one child i buy 1 each......that is also because I want to and because I can.
 
I .

I know where I work when a client brings in homemade food items they usually go straight to the trash. I used to bake for service peoviders but now I will give gift cards or something....sad really but you just never know.

And all of those people that I buy for I do it because I want to. I also buy for a local family that is struggling from the "young moms agency" and buy the christmas dinner a 2 gifts each for the mom and child. If there are more than one child i buy 1 each......that is also because I want to and because I can.

I hate that you all throw a way the food:( There are so many people out there that would love to have it.
 
People you just plain don't like and/or get along with?

And if so, do you do it because you "want" to do it?

Feel pressured (by others) to do it?

Feel obligated to do it?

Because everyone else does it?

Are embarrassed "not" to do it?

Do it even though you're strapped and can't afford to do it?

------------------------------------------

Is there someplace where you "draw the line"?



Yes, I have to give presents to someone that is very odd that I have to give a present to...I've met him a grand total of about 15 times. He now lives in another country and I am still expected to "gift" him.

He is my dad's wife's only son. I don't have a clue what he is into, so I always give him an iTunes gift card or when he moved, I gave him nice clothes that fit his new climate.

The really funny thing is that he has to "gift" back, only his is signed and purchased by his mom.

I don't understand it and I've tried to politely stop it to no avail. The wrath would be too much for my dad to bear, so I do it for him.
 
I definitely have a place where I draw a line in the sand..

I give gifts to the people that I want to - no other reason..:santa:

Who are they? You seem to be asking a direct quest of others but you are evasive with your reply.
 
Not really...there is someone in the family that I am not close to and only buy for because I started to years ago and it seems weird to stop now. Other than that I buy for close family and friends, and even some not so close family and friends but who I enjoy giving presents to.
I have to admit that the only time I feel obligated to "give" is at work when they have collections for other employees. Sometimes it just gets to be too much (baby showers, weddings, people leaving, etc. etc). It always seems like there are a bunch of collections going on at one time! And of course I hardly ever know the people who the collections are for. It is not so much that I mind giving because I think it is a nice supportive gesture but financially it can be rough sometimes.
Sorry, I know that doesn't have to do with Christmas but that is really the only time I feel obligated to give/gift.
 
I like to bake but I no longer give "home made" baked goods to service providers. I know where I work when a client brings in homemade food items they usually go straight to the trash. I used to bake for service peoviders but now I will give gift cards or something....sad really but you just never know.

I would never eat anything someone cooked that I didn't know well. I don't even like eating out in restaurants with strangers cooking and touching my food. :sick: Giving cookies and fresh baked items is a thoughtful idea, but the food will get tossed at my house if I don't know you well, or feel your cleanliness standards are on par with mine.

I buy for a couple of people in DH's family (married into his family) that I despise. Ugh... The other 28 people on my Christmas list I enjoy buying for. :goodvibes

I will probably give small gifts to my mail carrier and my UPS driver. Both guys go beyond the call of duty, carrying all my eBay and online purchases to my door. I will probably give them Subway GCs and a large bag of cracked and blown pecans, if I get around to picking up some pecans before Christmas. :santa: Most people I know love the gift of fresh pecans for their holiday baking and cooking.
 
Who are they? You seem to be asking a direct quest of others but you are evasive with your reply.

Who are they? Evasive with my reply? You seem to be trying very hard to make an "issue" where there isn't one..

What I posted is no different than a poll - and my answers were two of the options listed: "I give gifts because I want to" - and "I definitely draw a line in the sand".. I didn't ask anyone to give a "list" of who they give gifts to - just the "why's"..

I'm not sure why this is such a problem for you.. If it's a poll type question that you don't want to answer, feel free to pass it by..:goodvibes
 
Nope. I give presents to who I want to and it's pretty much only my immediate family. I used to feel guilty but for aunt/uncle family I just give a gift basket that they can split. There's one exception to it and that's DH aunt/uncle who have never in 7 years acknowledged our existence but I don't want to hurt his feelings so I let it go.
 
I give gifts - usually food and money - to the lady who cleans my house, my mailman, my hair dresser, and the lady who does my manicures and pedicures (even though I have those very infrequently - but her station is next to my hairdresser's so I would feel awkward not giving her something when I deliver my hairdresser's gift.) Those are the people who go "above and beyond" for me - providing personal services like allowing me to change appointments, holding a package when I'm out of town, etc.

The only other service people are ones I pay by the service, so they don't rate a gift because they mowed my lawn or got my leaves up - I pay them for that.

I have a couple of "family harmony" gifts - I give a food gift to the parents of my ex-husband's wife, for example. They are now my children's step-grandparents and they have a family history with my family that doesn't involve their daughter marrying my ex -husband, so I do it for that reason. I give a gift - usually a book or something related - to my daughter's stepmother -she was a very close friend of mine (before she started dating and married my ex-husband!) and she began a gifting tradition, so I follow through. This category is all done in the "it makes a nicer Chirstmas experience for my daughters" vein - I wouldn't be doing them otherwise.
 
I hate that you all throw a way the food:( There are so many people out there that would love to have it.

:confused3 Sorry-But I agree with that poster. You have no idea the sanitary conditions of the kitchen of the person making that food.

And I have heard that Mailmen cannot accept gifts-at all
 
:confused3 Sorry-But I agree with that poster. You have no idea the sanitary conditions of the kitchen of the person making that food.

And I have heard that Mailmen cannot accept gifts-at all

We always gave something to our mailman at my old job. I wonder if the mailman wasn't supposed to accept the gifts? Honestly he was such a nice guy that if he couldn't accept it we would probably give the gift to his wife (she was a patient at our office) because he was well deserving of at least a little something!
 
I buy gifts because I want to. My list isn't that large. In my family nieces and nephews stop getting presents the year after they turn 18 and their names go into the "draw" with my siblings and their spouses. So I have three young nieces that I buy presents for. Sometimes I buy something for the older nieces and nephew if I see something that is "perfect". Then there is my mother, grandmother and one aunt. And my daughter, my best friend and my best friend's husband.

Husband's side is more complicated. We don't see his siblings at Christmas (one we haven't seen for years) so we don't buy gifts. I send a card. His aunt practically raised him so we spend Christmas eve with her and DH's cousins. We do fairly elaborate gifts there just because that is the family custom.

Most years my step daughter and step son got checks because I had no idea what to buy. We didn't seem them very much. Since my step daughter had a baby, we've become closer. DD and I get together with her every couple of weeks to have dinner and shop. I know about a dozen things that she wants/needs this year since work has been slow for her husband. She'll get presents instead of cash (although I expect we'll still give her some cash just to help out).
 















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