Do you get "down time?"

[mudnuri]

This has been bugging me since yesterday.

DH and I have, since we had the girls, decided that when I go grocery shopping, and he doesnt go, I go alone.

This means that the girls are with him, regardless of what day of the week etc... he loves it, the girls LOVE it, and I get a couple of hours by myself.

Yesterday, the 4th, I went grocery shopping, and I admit, I hit more than just a grocery store, and he brought the kids swimming at his moms.

his DB' wife, could not believe that I was able to go "shopping alone"....Huh?? yes, thats what she said. So DH said to her....well, I have an hour commute, thats "my time" Brandy gets the kids off to day camp, then has a 2 minute commute, after work she picks them up and 2 minute commute home. She doesnt have much down time....so if 1 day a week, she wants to go for 4-5 hours (yes, I was gone that long ) it helps keep her sanity, and we all are happier.

Do you have down time without your spouse/SO and kids? Im not quite sure what I'd do without it...

Dont get me wrong, I go shopping with the girls and DH a lot as well.....

Brandy

 

[meandtheguys2]

Many weekends DH takes the boys and goes to our farm. They love doing all that guy stuff, come home dirty, smelly and happy and I have had the day to do what needs to be done, or I want to do!

I love it! It is such a blessing!

 

[Gwene65]

I don't have my own washing machine or dryer so I have to lug it all to my mother's house. I do it on Sundays and leave my son with my husband. It is my alone time, even though I'm not really alone.

Sometimes I go out to my mothers property and just garden and swim in the lake. Thats nice.



So, yes I get downtime, thankfully.

 

[meeshi]

My kids are older now, 16, 14, 12. But when they were younger, I would go places without the kids, (shopping or whatever) and dh would stay home with them, or even better was when he would take the kids somewhere and I'd get to be home alone and get stuff done around the house.

 

[Talking Hands]

My children are grown but when they were younger my dh would care for them while I went to the grocery store or shopping. Also in middle and high school and even into college prior to them driving would take them to school in the morning. Now he does the grocery shopping for me most of the time.

 

[dizagain]

Wow...yeah, I get down time. My DH has always been good about taking the kids out to Grandma's to swim, the mall, the park, etc so I can be home alone. I like to be home alone vs. going out alone most of the time. Anytime I need to run to the store, he'll gladly keep them if he's home. I will admit he HATES it when I go to an evening meeting or sales party or whatever....but he DOES keep them anyway!!

 

[cgcw]

I do.

Sometimes I just want to be able to get through cleaning up the kitchen without having to stop for whatever reason. My DH will take the kids to MIL's farm. It's not my cup of tea to be there but the kids LOVE it. Other times, DH will just take them out to the store and I get some quiet time here. It's not unusual. A lot of the time when I go out running errands by myself, I take my time because I know I can. DH will often tell me I need to have more of my own time. Right now I have 6 daycare kids all day along with my own 2, it does get a bit hectic from time to time.

It doesn't mean we don't love our kids. I know one of these days very soon, I will have too much down time or uninterupted time as the kids are growing so quickly.

 

[Micca]

DW and I are empty nesters about 75% of the time. We've been married for 30 years, and we each get a lot of alone time due to work/sleep schedules, and we have a house big enough to give each other space.

 

[Pin Wizard]

As long as I'm a student or unemployed I have down time. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...could that be the reason I haven't been whole heartedly seeking employment the last three months? If I'm working, I have zero...as a single parent.

 

[CEDmom]

When DD was very little I didn't get much down time. She was very attached to me and since I felt she had enough trauma in her young life because of our adopting her and bringing her to a new country I spent most of her waking hours with her.

However, she's long gotten over that and DH and she do lots of things together. They used to go to a gymboree type class together just the 2 of them which they both loved. DH thinks nothing of taking her to run errands on Saturdays.

I go to the gym just about every day as much for "me" time as to stay in shape.

I thinks it's too bad when a child doesn't have the opportunity to have one on one time with each parent. My own dad died when I was 8 but because he was so hands on I have wonderful memories of things we did together. I want DD to have the same kinds of memories when she's all grown up.

 

[CamColt]

Yep! DH is pretty good about playing with the kids, after dinner. I get my down time then and usually Dis and do stuff around the house. Since I go to bed early, he gets his down time after the kids and I are all asleep.
He routinely takes the kids out for dinner(pizza, Friendlys, BK, something like that) every Friday night. I stick to my diet, stay home and clean the house during that time. I love it!

 

[Otto's Doll]

Yes, I do get down time. My kids are a bit older now, so I get to DIS or nap or whatever when they are around, but Otto has always been good about giving me some time alone without the kids. The one thing I generally try not to do more than 1 or 2 times a month is to be gone at night. I feel like that is our family time.

 

[Cinderellafifi]

I don't get any right now but I think it is so important! Good for you and your DH for taking care of you!!

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Do you have down time without your spouse/SO and kids? Im not quite sure what I'd do without it...

BWAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAA! That's a good one!!!

(Oh, wait...........was that a serious question???)


Ummmmmm........my answer is a resounding NOOO!!!!

 

[eeyore45]

Yeah for you DH!! I love how he defended you - and I admire the fact that he recognizes YOU for that too - I think he went to far in explaining - but that's where I'm at right now, the MYOB! you know, this is what works for us, maybe you should try it, it makes us better parents getting "down time"

When my ds was first born, I started the tradition, I gave ds to dh and said I'd be back in an hour, if I stayed, I'd hover, and make dh feel nervous! And somewhere along the line dh started the bedtime routine, every night -bathes and reads to HIS kids!! We feel we co parent!! And we both agree shopping is too hard on a kid, so we always go alone - we take dd when its appropriate, or when we have no choice, and then we remember why we like to go alone!!

4 - 5 hours is not that long!!

Maybe db wife would like some alone time too!!

 

[jrydberg]

The only down time I get, I don't want

Just dropped my daughter off for summer visitation. Makes me appreciate the time I do have with her, I suppose.

 

[Otto's Doll]

Originally posted by jrydberg
The only down time I get, I don't want

Just dropped my daughter off for summer visitation. Makes me appreciate the time I do have with her, I suppose.

Thanks for the reminder that as nice as down time is, and as much as I appreciate it, my kids are precious to me and I adore them!