Do you get along with your inlaws? VENT

[remyandhollandsmommy]

Just curious if anyone has worse inlaws than I do...
My MIL called a few minutes ago and after a few minutes of small talk asked if we have any extra money to give her! This made me angry because she didn't call to talk to HER SON, who is leaving for Iraq next month or her granddaughters (I will concede the point that new DD is 6 mos and can't talk). But she sure as heck tells everyone who listens that HER son, who she has called a total of 9 times since we were stationed in NY in '02, is serving his country and is risking his life for others, blah blah blah. And the 9 times she has called she has asked for...that's right more money! I have noticed a pattern of the calls too, she calls at income tax time, my birthday (my mom sends me a few hundred dollars), christmas (same reason), bonus time for DH, and she had the audacity to call me last year when I was eight months pregnant to see if I had extra money from DH's deployment! Then DH's dad, oh lord! He slighted my DD(6 mos) and said he was sick of all these *bleeping* girls, that he wanted a grandson. I was a little rude and hung up on him.
Now my SIL, who I adore, said he wants me to know I am a stuck up brat. I am not stuck up, I am sick of people asking us for money. They need to get a JOB. I think they are all under the delusion that the military pays us the "Big Bucks".

 

[HollyJoy]

Sorry that you are having such troubles with your inlaws. I have been very fortunate to have wonderful inlaws. Sure, I could still find things to complain about, but in the big picture, they are trivial. I often hear stories such as yours, and consider myself very lucky to have such supportive and loving inlaws. We lost my MIL last April to cancer, and it truly was like losing my own mother. The only advice I can give you is to keep your chin up, but it seems as though your DH needs to have a talk with his parents.

 

[Mishetta]

Sorry you're having problems too, but trust me, no matter what story you tell, I can top yours!! We moved 2000 miles away just to have peace in our marriage. Need I say more?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Giving money to in laws who ask for it frequently has nothing to do with "getting along". It falls under the category of "doormat" in my book.

 

[two4ruff]

Take my inlaws.....please!

 

[shatzjsl]

Sorry your MIL is such a pain!

I love my in-laws as much as my own parents. I have been blessed to have them in my life.

 

[FroggyinArk]

dw says she has best inlaws ever,, to the pointboth she and my mom told me that if we ever split dw was going hom eto my parents .. which is ok since the moderators would can me if i started talking aboutr dw's former parents.. wife disowned them about a year ago when they let dw's 16 yr old dauhgter that her mother had stolen custody of get married and expected me and dw to pay for wedding and stuff after mil would not even let dw talk to her dd for a year prior stopping here before i get tossed from boards.

 

[kasar]

Wow. As if you didn't have enough on your plate! They should be calling you to ask how you are, do YOU need anything.

As the mom of 2 girls, I can totally relate to the "now you need to try for a boy". It's one of my biggest pet peeves - we're VERY happy with our beautiful, healthy, wanted daughters, thank-you-very-much.

 

[FroggyinArk]

btw this is hte same woman who sued my dw for child support after she found out i had purchgased a brand new truck and went into bizz for myself soo if any mothers out there wanna adopt a almost 40 dd ,, about 5 ft,, small, doesnt eat much,...

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

Oh I don't ever give her money, you'd think she'd get the picture by now. I finally told her tonight to get off her butt and get a job (she is milking welfare right now). She always treats my girls different from my Dnieces (who I also adore) and DD(5) is now noticing it. I am really protective over DH and my DDs and hate to have her treat them bad. She told me that since war/911 began she likes telling people her son is military so she gets attention. What kind of person says that?! She's just INSANE!

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by remyandhollandsmommy
He slighted my DD(6 mos) and said he was sick of all these *bleeping* girls, that he wanted a grandson. I was a little rude and hung up on him.

I don't think you were rude at all.

 

[Otto's Doll]

I think they are all under the delusion that the military pays us the "Big Bucks".

HAHAHAHAHA

If only they knew the truth, huh?

 

[MelessaG]

Sounds a lot like my in-laws. or at least FIL and his wife, my DMIL was such an angel that she went back to heaven not long after DD #1 was born.
I also get $$ at the first of the year and my birthday from an elderly great-aunt, and it never fails that FIL asks for a "loan" at those same times. DH was military for the first several years of our marriage, and deployed to Bosnia in 2000. They went on and on about their pride in his dedication to their friends, but only twice in 8 months did they help me out with the kids in any way or even seem to remember I still lived in the same town until DH got home.
Lately, FIL has lightened up some. Mostly because at Christmas, his wife implied I should have terminated my surprise pregnancy rather than have 4 children. I threatened to write a letter to her very pro-life church minister asking him if he condoned members of his church advising married women whose husbands have good jobs to terminate pregnancies. I'm sure she would have denied saying it, but it would have been interesting to see what happened. (She views any children of DH's and mine as 'competition' for her grandkids, and that's the real reason she is upset about us having one more)
Anyway, DH thought it was a great idea, but felt guilty at the last minute and told his Dad what my plans were. It did improve things somewhat, though.
Sorry to hijack your thread, I guess a more appropriate answer would have been a simple "No, we don't get along."

 

[Sleepy]

Wow, I wish your MIL would tell me where my hubby stashes that loot

You need to remind your F-I-L that it is his son's fault he does not have a grandson

 

[Stepharoonie!]

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

Ya'll are really making me feel better. I usually don't let MIL get to me, but she kept saying that we could afford to help her out since Dh is getting a promotion on 6/12. Like she doesn't understand no, I was even saying it really slow so she'd get it. NNNOOO. JuJu, my poor SIL, is always getting suckered into "loaning" them money.
JuJu also found out she was having a boy in Sept. so now she is the favorite (not that I was ever in the running girl producing snob that I am). Poor JuJu, she lives ten minutes fron MIL, while I get to live in northern NY. Can't get much further away unless I leave the country and go to Canada.

 

[MelessaG]

I forgot to mention in my last post that I will be thinking of you and your family in the coming months. As I'm sure you know, a long deployment is never easy-but the fact that your DH is going to Iraq makes it that much harder.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm happy to say that I got along very well with my in-laws (both deceased now).. They were dirt poor and on welfare (neither were able to work later on in life due to severe health problems) and although they viewed me as coming from a "rich" family (not true, but when you're on welfare just about anyone else appears "rich") they never, EVER asked for money - even after my FIL was gone and my MIL was getting a measley $17 a MONTH in food stamps..

In your situation a favorite saying comes to mind: "If you don't want to be walked on, then get up off of the floor!"

As long as you give - they'll take..

My best to you and your family.. A special thank you to your DH for his military service and I'll include all of you in my prayers..

 

[Nutsy]

Oh that really makes me mad reading that I'm sorry your MIL is so mean spirited & your FIL....well who is rude? Not you, HIM.

How could anyone say such a thing about your daughters? They are still thier granchildren, be they boy or girl.

But I do know how it feels. I have someone like that who has always been mean to my boys, yet so sweet & loving to the girls in the family.

But as to why you don't have any sons.......it's not your fault, that is the mens department & you can't even balme your DH either, he doesn't know what sex it will be any more than you.

Some people are just mean through & through & can't see past their own noses.

 

[jacksonsmom]

I will just say....no, I do not get along with my in-laws at all!
They are mean, negative people! DH avoids seeing his family!!!
It is really sad when you think about it!