Do you feel responsible for others' Disney vacation happiness when you give advice?

[WaDiWo]

oops, posted this on the wrong forum earlier ... i think you guys on the Dis would understand this:


hi all!

I have a feeling some of you might relate to what I'm talking about. Like many of you Disers, we're approached often by others to give advice about their upcoming WDW trip.

Maybe I'm neurotic, but sometimes I feel like it's my responsibility that they have fun, and I have to "prove" to them how awesome Walt Disney World is.

Case in point, our neighbors recently got back from their first WDW trip in 20 years. They went armed with much advice that we gave them (much gleaned from the podcast and the boards), regarding touring plans, fast passes, rope drop, ADRs, character encounters, etc. and even the big decision on whether to go commando, pacing, etc.

**please note that they specifically asked us for advice, we know a lot of people don't want to hear it!**

anyway, i found myself following them on facebook while they were on their trip, and, needless to say, their trip didn't go as planned. place was crowded, it rained, too hot, got there too late, etc.

When they got back they were like, "it was fun and nice, but I don't see why you love it so much and why you have to go back every year?"

So now I feel like I have to prove to them that it's magical. I don't know. Any of you feel the same way?
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[exwdwcm]

yeah, i totally understand, and even more so when it is your extended family travelling with you- i just want them to love it as much as i do.

But that isn't always the case and think about it this way, on a positive note-----if they don't love it, maybe they won't go back and it will be less crowded?

yeah, i am disappointed when their trip doesn't go as planned or when they simply don't feel the magic like i do, but you can only lead them down the path so far, they either see the magic or they don't.

 

[dpic]

This used to happen to me all the time. But, honestly, what I've started telling people is to contact Dreams Unlimited--it's so much easier. Easier for me because it takes a lot of the details off my hands, and easier for them because DU does such a nice job.

I'm more than happy to give ride advice, meal advice, etc. But I'm not doing trip planning anymore (believe me, this has happened). The immensity of Disney is very intimidating to people, and they want help. But when there's a company like DU, let them do what they do well. I'm more than happy filling in the gaps. Then, if they don't have a great time--then Disney just isn't their thing, and I don't worry about it.

(Pete, can a pick a number now?)

 

[TSWJan78]

I think I get more frustrated when they don't ask and then complain they had a miserable time. I want to shake them and say WHY DID YOU NOT ASK FOR ADVICE. I have drafted up an excel file that I usually send to them and I answer there questions and tell them to come here. I do agree you can lead them to water but you can't make them drink

 

[G66]

I'm not a Disney pusher. I'll enable, if someone shows an interest and are willing

As we all know, a WDW vacation takes some effort. Most are not going to dive into it like we do. So, I hope they enjoy their trip. I'll lead them to all the planning resources, but they really need to get bitten by the Disney bug on their own. If they do, that's great. If not, well to each his own.

I'm not too concerned with what people think of my Disney jones. As long as my wife and kids love our WDW trips, that's all that matters to me.

 

[cj9200]

Since everyone I know is aware of the number of times I go to Disney, a lot of people ask my advice. I was even asked by someone to plan their vacation. No way am I taking that responsibility. Usually, I point them in certain directions i.e. guides, web sites and travel agents but do not take an active role in their planning. Other general advice is freely given such as if you want to go to Cindy’s call 90 days out and hope for the best, use fast passes and think about extra magic hours. But it is up to them to do as they wish.

 

[WaDiWo]

thanks everyone!! when giving advice I try not to go overboard, and I try to feel out really how much they want me to give ... we know it can all be overwhelming.

I just meant that I almost feel an irrational pressure that their trip better be a good trip ... because when they come back they say, "why the heck do you like it so much?"

and -- as much as I love disney, it can be exhausting sometimes to go through everything to convince someone else of the magic. Yes, agree with the posters above who said that they have to be bitten by the bug themselves. very very very.

but when they say things like, "do we really have to go to the Animal Kingdom? we've already been to the zoo so many times!" then I feel I have to go into a whole spiel about animal kingdom.

 

[Minnie Lor]

I think I get more frustrated when they don't ask and then complain they had a miserable time. I want to shake them and say WHY DID YOU NOT ASK FOR ADVICE. I have drafted up an excel file that I usually send to them and I answer there questions and tell them to come here. I do agree you can lead them to water but you can't make them drink

Yeah - I'm going thru this now. The sister of a friend is planning a trip to Disney - get this - three weeks. They haven't even made the reservation yet nor any dining. She asked me a week ago if aug 9th-15th was a good time to go. I said it's great as far as crowds and you just hit value season. They can use the 40% off military deal but they're "still thinking things thru". I mentioned the code for military deal and she said that they weren't into packages because they don't play golf.

They plan on driving so that's not a problem but everything else They're not going to have fun and then think I'm nuts for going so often.

I'll be sitting across from her at scrapbook event tomorrow night for 6 hours. I'm not saying anything unless she asks. It's going to be hard but I'll do it. (and yes Pete and John, I mentioned and emailed her stuff about DU several times - her husband wants to take care of it on his own)

 

[princessbride6205]

Luckily not too many people have asked our advice, but everyone who has, at least had a good time, even if they didn't have a magical time. I did go all out when my boss asked advice - it was only a year after my WDW wedding and it was her first trip ever. I typed out a list of must-see attractions at each park and noted if you could get a fast pass. They actually did have a magical time - always nice when you can convert a non-believer.

 

[FireDancer]

I have given specific advice to friends that were going down like which days are better for which parks and which restaurants I would choose. I have found that those that follow the advice have a good time in the limited scope of what I advised them on and those that don't usually say they should have.

As far as the OP goes, I don't know how the crowds and weather were in your control. If you are gong to WDW in July it is going to be crowded, rain every day, and be hot and humid. The weather in FL is kind of common sense. I wouldn't go to Maine in January and wonder why I couldn't wear my shorts at the beach.

In the end though I know a lot of people that think a crowded "theme park" just isn't for them. Then again I think biking through Italy is a vacation and most of them disagree with that too . To each their own.

 

[Becx N Gav]

We found that our families just didn't listen to our advise when we were all there for our wedding. We started the planning almost 2 years out and when we were there certain members asked if they could join us for dinner the next day We didn't even try and see if we could change our ADR as we had said multiple times to let us know beforehand. What we did plan went well and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I kind of gave up caring tho as I didn't want it to spoil our wedding and honeymoon.

We're going with friends this Spet and think we hvae it all planned, I'm going to warn them about the heat and humidity - potential crowds - distances between places (by foot and by car/bus) etc. I just hope they listen and tell us if they've had enough. There is only so much you can do and it's not for everyone.

 

[wishspirit]

We found that our families just didn't listen to our advise when we were all there for our wedding. We started the planning almost 2 years out and when we were there certain members asked if they could join us for dinner the next day We didn't even try and see if we could change our ADR as we had said multiple times to let us know beforehand. What we did plan went well and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I kind of gave up caring tho as I didn't want it to spoil our wedding and honeymoon.

We're going with friends this Spet and think we hvae it all planned, I'm going to warn them about the heat and humidity - potential crowds - distances between places (by foot and by car/bus) etc. I just hope they listen and tell us if they've had enough. There is only so much you can do and it's not for everyone.

I hope they have a good time! Especially meeting mad 'uns like us on the Illuminations Cruise!

 

[eeyorethegreat]

I give people the names of websites that I think will be helpful to them in planning or touring books but other than that I figure it is their vacation they can plan or not as they like. Usually I find that any advice that is given is not followed anyway because they think they can plan things better, don't want to stick to a "schedule" etc.

 

[Michele]

When people ask me for help or advice I mainly offer them

1)advice on when to go- if they tell me they are planning to go in July, Aug or between Christmas & New Year's -I pretty much tell them I would never consider going at those times and tell them why, so they know what to expect.

2) I will recommend restaurants, either because I have eaten there and enjoyed it, or based on Kevin's reviews, but won't try to make their reservations or tell them when they should go there.

3) mostly, I try to tell them about little things that will help make their trip easier or more enjoyable. You know those things that aren't in every guide book, like getting to the back entrance to Toontown before it opens so you can be 1st in line to meet Mickey instead of waiting forever later in the day. Or how to manage fastpasses-which not everyone knows.

4) tell them they can find all the answers on The DIS

 

[WaltD4Me]

I don't give advice unless they ask, but alot of people do ask me. My family tends to "refer" me, if anyone tells them they are going to Disney they tell them to call me. I do feel a little responsible if they don't have a good trip, but it's also really nice when they tell me they had a great trip and my tips and advice really helped them.

 

[FireDancer]

I give people the names of websites that I think will be helpful to them in planning or touring books but other than that I figure it is their vacation they can plan or not as they like.

Wait, there are websites dedicated to information on Disney? Where can I find one of these?

 

[eeyorethegreat]

Wait, there are websites dedicated to information on Disney? Where can I find one of these?

There are but you need the secret code

 

[WaDiWo]

Wait, there are websites dedicated to information on Disney? Where can I find one of these?

yes, www.disney.com

oh, nevermind, you need a HELPFUL website!

 

[DSNY4ever]

I think I get more frustrated when they don't ask and then complain they had a miserable time. I want to shake them and say WHY DID YOU NOT ASK FOR ADVICE. I have drafted up an excel file that I usually send to them and I answer there questions and tell them to come here. I do agree you can lead them to water but you can't make them drink

Too funny, I have a saved document that I send too. One for the DLR and one for WDW (most people think I am crazy!). And then I also advise them about this website and Dreams. And yes, I do feel bad when they don't have a good time, but usually it is because they don't take my advice....they decide to go to Disneyland on a summer saturday and then complain that it was too crowded, or they decide to go to WDW for only two days over New Years and then they wonder why there just wasn't enough time to see everything.

After my last Disneyland trip with my in-laws I definitely realized that Disney is not for everyone. At the end of our trip I asked my 4 year old nephew if he would like to go back to Disneyland someday and he said "No thank you" ?!?!? So even some kids just aren't theme park people.

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

When trying to assist with planning for friends I have found there is a very fine line between being helpful and information overload -- once you cross that line, nothing you say does any good...it just gets tuned out. So I've learned to only offer advice on what they ask for. You have to use the K.I.S.S. strategy (Keep It Simple, Sweetie - I prefer that version!). Even though there may be so many other things you can tell them you honestly feel with help, you have to remember that it's their first visit and if they feel overwhelmed by it all, they definitely won't enjoy it.