Do you feel guilty leaving the kids at home?

[Pyotr]

No guilt at all. We have three kids, 17, 9, and 3, and we do a couple kids free trips a couple times a year. As mentioned in previous posts, these are our "Vegas trips" that we do to get away for a few days. Disney is only about a 2 hour drive for us so it makes for a quick and easy trip.

Our kidless trips are different than when we take them. Very little park time, more pool time and relaxing, signature dining, and lots of wine.

 

[AgentMama]

We travel in so many different variations in our family. Without kids, with kids without one of the adults, with only one kid, solo (the kids aren't allowed to travel solo, we're not ridiculous, they can't even drive yet). I don't ever feel guilty if one or both of them aren't with whoever is traveling. We do lots of fun things and enjoy them in a variety of ways. Adults should be able to have experiences outside their children. And we don't hide from our kids where we're going when they aren't with us, we have nothing to be ashamed of. And our kids have traveled without us, I know they don't feel guilty we aren't with them.

 

[goofyernmost]

No, not at all. My kids are 45 and 47 years old. So you probably weren't asking me. I'll find my way out.

 

[AZMermaid]

We’ve done it 3 times for Run Disney Events when the kids were ages 3-8, plus 2 short anniversary Disney Cruises. Last one was almost exactly 2 years ago. We felt a little guilty but had a great time. The worst part is beforehand. Once there, we’ve always been fine. They had a fun time with their aunt who spoils them and let’s them eat all sorts of junk.

We take/took regular family Disney trips during that time too. For us all to go is double the cost. Sone people go to Vegas and Napa, we do Disney.

 

[CT Yankee]

Is there someplace else you would want to visit to have some adult time? My husband and I would always take a mini-vacation while our kids were away at summer camp. We would go to a golf resort or some B&B in the mountains but not to Disney. I would feel too guilty going to Disney and not bringing our kids with us - especially at that age. Only you know how you and your son would react, but from my perspective, it would end up ruining the trip for me.

 

[WalloghbyWay]

We would really enjoy having an adult time for a few days in Disney world, but I would feel a tremendous guilt if we didn’t bring our son. We do take other trips without him, but nothing else that we do would have the appeal to him like Disney world does.

Do you have this issue? If so, how do you handle it other than waiting it out another 10+ years

You have limited time when your son is young enough to see Disney through the eyes of a child. Cherish that time. There is plenty of time for adult trips, I would feel guilty but most of all I’d feel sad for not enjoying my son at the perfect Disney age.....

 

[Heather07438]

Every child is the perfect age for Disney somehow, and we're all children at heart in WDW. You'll never be this age again to visit as a couple Go enjoy!

Sounds like this trip is in addition to family trips you all take together. No guilt. Not selfish. Healthy for all. They'll get their turn again.

 

[Karin1984]

Provided your kid does get other vacations with you, whether to Disney or not, think of the valuable lessons you are teaching your child by going on a holiday with your husband:

- The world doesn't revolve around your child
There will be moments in your child's life where he will be left out or things are denied to him. This helps him to get used to it. And if explained correctly, it can teach your child on jealousy and guilt.

- Your child learns that mom and dad had a life before him and still have.
It teaches your child that mom and dad are also Susan and Dave, where Susan likes yoga and drinks with her friends, and that Dave likes to go cycling and has a thing for detective novels. Oh, and they both love Disney. You are more than a parent, and that shouldn't go on hold for the 18 years of your child living at home.

- It teaches your child how to parent & different parenting styles
Very likely in the future your child will be a parent himself. How you act now will influence him. But also how other people parent. You will leave him with friends or family while you are out, they will do things differently than you. My parents went on a second honeymoon for a week and my aunt and uncle came to babysit me and my brother, around the same age. I have never been so happy with my parents. My aunt and uncle were much stricter and it made me appreciate my parents more.

 

[Olaf Myfrenzargay]

Personally I would never leave my son off a vacation. Life is too short to not share memories with him.

 

[Lilsia]

You have limited time when your son is young enough to see Disney through the eyes of a child. Cherish that time. There is plenty of time for adult trips, I would feel guilty but most of all I’d feel sad for not enjoying my son at the perfect Disney age.....

Jeez, it's not like they are moving away from their kid. They are going for a few days. Believe it or not, this is actually GOOD for the child too. They get to spend time with other loving adults in their lives, which is invaluable. I really don't get the attitude of people like you thinking that it is somehow bad to not spend every single second with your child. Your guilt is your own and completely unwarranted. A person should feel guilt when they do something wrong. Spending time with your spouse is the opposite of wrong.

 

[WalloghbyWay]

Jeez, it's not like they are moving away from their kid. They are going for a few days. Believe it or not, this is actually GOOD for the child too. They get to spend time with other loving adults in their lives, which is invaluable. I really don't get the attitude of people like you thinking that it is somehow bad to not spend every single second with your child. Your guilt is your own and completely unwarranted. A person should feel guilt when they do something wrong. Spending time with your spouse is the opposite of wrong.

I’ll be waiting for you to reply to everyone in the thread who replied the way I did. The OP asked for opinions and then got them.

to take some of your words:
“I really don’t get the attitude of people like you thinking that it is” ok to judge someone else’s opinion when it was ASKED FOR.

“your opinion is your own and completely unwarranted” as I didn’t ask for it and others have similar opinions to mine.

the question was about going to Disney without their son, not a romantic getaway which they do many other times, and IMO perfectly fine. When it comes to Disney, take the kid. Thats my opinion and I’m entitled to give it because it was asked for.

have a magical day

 

[Lilsia]

I’ll be waiting for you to reply to everyone in the thread who replied the way I did. The OP asked for opinions and then got them.

to take some of your words:
“I really don’t get the attitude of people like you thinking that it is” ok to judge someone else’s opinion when it was ASKED FOR.

“your opinion is your own and completely unwarranted” as I didn’t ask for it and others have similar opinions to mine.

the question was about going to Disney without their son, not a romantic getaway which they do many other times, and IMO perfectly fine. When it comes to Disney, take the kid. Thats my opinion and I’m entitled to give it because it was asked for.

have a magical day

Guilting a parent for wanting to take a vacation with their spouse is not OK. Telling people that they have "limited time" with their kids so don't ever step away from them is ridiculous and you know it. That is not an opinion, that is paranoia. An opinion is if you like the soup or not. Are these people never going to let their kids spend time with grandparents, cousins, friends? Spending time and being spoiled by grandparents is a highlight for many kids growing up. Unfortunately, there are parents out there that are insecure and come looking to these sites to see if what they are doing is "OK". Saying that you should never leave your child or that you should feel guilty about it is definitely not OK.

 

[MiraclesTakeTime]

I will say, for my spouse and I, when we went to Disney alone, it was a romantic trip. Disney can be very romantic. It's a completely different experience without kids. I agree with the poster who said kids need to learn that mom and dad are their own unique persons. If a parent never took the child to Disney, I think it would be different, but if they are also getting trips there, I don't see a problem. Divorce is highest during the period during the teen years, when kids have started to have more independence and aren't so reliant on parents. After kids move out, the parents often no longer know each other, or who they are without the kids. Bonding and spending time together without the kids reinforces who people are as a couple. It sets a very good expample for the kids too. It's to be expected options on this thread would sway both ways. In the end, you are going to need to decide how you personally feel about it.

 

[Kae]

Nope. We have always done an Adult only trip somewhere and lots of adult weekends, when the kids were little, but we also did tons of Soccer weekends and family trips. Plus I do girlfriend weekends. My DD does tease me about doing our 20th trip over her birthday.

Kae

 

[WalloghbyWay]

Guilting a parent for wanting to take a vacation with their spouse is not OK. Telling people that they have "limited time" with their kids so don't ever step away from them is ridiculous and you know it. That is not an opinion, that is paranoia. An opinion is if you like the soup or not. Are these people never going to let their kids spend time with grandparents, cousins, friends? Spending time and being spoiled by grandparents is a highlight for many kids growing up. Unfortunately, there are parents out there that are insecure and come looking to these sites to see if what they are doing is "OK". Saying that you should never leave your child or that you should feel guilty about it is definitely not OK.

Never said they should never leave their kids, you put those words in my post....... I said enjoy Disney with your kid at this age because childhood doesn’t last forever. The OP wasn’t asking about going away without your kid in general (which I think you should. I also think you should go away with friends without your spouse) but they asked about going to Disney and leaving your kid home. I stand by what I said.

If you Want to leave them and go to Disney when they are late teens and going through their typical “too cool for school” stage, go right ahead.

They asked if people would feel, guilty......they got opinions on the matter, then you began policing the opinions. I tell ya, it must be tough to be an only child under normal circumstances, but to be an only child where even your parents want to go to Disney without you..... eesh.

they should take selfies of them eating candy and buying toys then send it to their 8 year old saying “wish you were here” LOL.

have a magical day

 

[The WDW 3]

Thank you for all of the responses. I came to two solid conclusions..

1. so many of you struggle to comprehend the simplest of things and constantly put words into the the mouth of others

2. we will continue to take adult vacations as adults, and we will continue to take Disney vacations as a family.

 

[Meglen]

We took 2 adult only trips in the last 7 years. I would love to take more. I love disney and I love my son but as a stay at home parent I get zero adult time. The week me and my husband get alone every few years I enjoy and I love disney!.

So we compromise my sons first trip to disney was a family affair party of 6 with my mom.dad and his wife. To say this was my best trip would be a flat out lie. Stress + stress + stress my homelife just continued at disney plus I had to plan everything for everyone. It was no vacation for me but for the rest it was. My son was 8 at the time and was overwhelmed with everything so we took it slow I believe he had a good time I tried my best to make it enjoyable for everyone.

The following year me and my husband took our second adult trip (first was our honeymoon) it was so nice and relaxing and the break we needed to remember why we are together. Hes my best friend and being alone we are able to just be a couple.

last dec was meant to be our first family disney trip just us 3. It is now moved to oct this year. I hope everything goes good. My son will be 12, older and able to voice better what he wants. Hes helping me plan and hes now able to do simple things for himself so less stress on me during the trip. I hope this trip feels great and fun and we can find that happy medium where we can take these trips more. But if it again feels like a stress bomb I will wanna plan another adult trip for another year.
No guilt here

 

[TinkSassy]

I heard the best thing on a trip report on a podcast that will remain nameless . . . the traveler was solo with friends. They remember self, couple and family when making plans. You need to serve the needs of each partner (in his case not both are WDW fans), then the couple (you were together before the kids and you will be after they move out) and then a family. So you need to take time for all 3 separate units. A couples trip is different than a trip with the kids - you will dine at nicer places, skip things you might not with the kids and do things you wouldn't do with them along. No guilt - it is good to show them that you take care of your relationship too - sets a good example for them later in life.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I take trips without my kids and have zero guilt. I’ve done Nashville, NOLA. Mexico, etc as trips with my SO and some as girls trips with my friends.

I have have never done an adult only Disney trip because *I* would feel guilty since WE don’t do Disney often. We do Disney every 3ish years and other destinations in the off years. If we did Disney more often I would be long gone on an adult only trip! Many moons ago, when I was with my XH, we were going every year and had plans to go for our ten year anniversary and our 30th bdays as an adult only trip and I had no issues. We never made it to ten years so the trip never happened.

My kids are now 21 and 15. DD will be going to WDW for her senior trip and I’m planning an adult only trip with my SO around the same time. I don’t think I’ll feel guilty about it.

Funny enough I took DD in 2018 on a mother daughter trip since DS went on his senior trip. We stayed for 10 days at BWV and had a fabulous time. We left the boys at home and I felt zero guilt. I owe my son a trip for his 21st bday that he missed due to the pandemic. I might feel a bit guilty leaving DD since she doesn’t have a trip right now but I remind myself she had her trip with me already.

OP go and have fun!!!! Enjoy!

 

[mkb3]

My wife and I went on an adult only trip in 2019 for our 10 year wedding anniversary. Our daughter who was 7 at the time and very mature for her age gave her "blessing" as she knew it was an important milestone and we should celebrate together doing something we love. While we had a great time we missed our daughter dearly. Every spot in the parks reminded us of a moment with our daughter. It was hard on us.