Do you feel being a parent limits the intellectual side of your personality?

[CRB#33]

Originally posted by Hillbeans
This thread is very upsetting. I really don't know why I bothered even posting in the first place, because I feel very taken advantage of now.

With the week i'm already having, this just is the icing on the cake. Thanks.

Oh, Hillbeans, don't let this person do that to you. That's exactly the reaction that's got him twitching with glee. He's a "potstirrer" who wants to upset people.

Don't give him what he wants.

 

[tidoublegger]

What it all boils down to is this: it is a fact that some people have children and some don't whether by choice, or fate.

There are childless people who are intelligent, interesting, and articulate and there are people with children who are intelligent, interesting, and articulate. The opposite also stands true!

Some parents may feel that they have a limited amount of time to devote to themselves, to pursuing what interests them. Others may feel that having children hasn't limited them, it has enhanced their view of the world.

Stirring the pot doesn't make you more intelligent. Having the ability to see different sides of issues and discuss without being one-sided makes a well rounded, more interesting, intelligent person, regardless of whether he/she is a parent.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by CRB#33
I think in his first post, he made a reference to him and his wife.

That may be, but I still think 'he' is a 'she' that we all know very well.

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by Chubroach
One thing that I have found in the past is if someone is very angry about an issue that effects them and responds with emotional or angry responses then there is some truth to the orginal statement.

I'm going to sound like a dumb parent here, but shouldn't that be affect instead of effect?

 

[snoopy]

I'm not up on who is the latest pot stirrer, I took this thread at face value.

I think it all comes down to perspective. People with kids tend to have a different one than those that don't have kids.

We obviously have jerks in both camps.

I personally felt it was no great intellectual loss to give up my dinners out, my nth vacation to the Carribean, my expresso machine, the never ending phone calls on Friday night, "what will we do this weekend???" and all the other superficial things I did before I had kids. I'd had enough with the self involvement by the time I turned 30 -- I was more than willing to revert my attention to someone else. Of course that is not to say that everyone who is childfree leads a superficial life -- its just to say that my own life was not complete without children. It doesn't make me any better or any worse than Chubroach. I think its a fair question to ask, and he/she/it is certainly entitled to their opinion.

 

[AirForceRocks]

As snoopy says, I think it all comes down to perspective.

Have I lost my intellect since I had my children? No, but I've sure learned more effective ways to use it. Not to mention learning about things that I probably wouldn't have given a second thought to w/o kids - the state of public education and the effect that it has on communities, seeing things through the eyes of a child, etc.

BTW, for those confused about Chubroach's gender, don't worry. It changes from day to day and from situation to situation...there ought to be a pill somewhere that could cure that...

 

[Serena]

Chubroach, you bore me.

 

[CRB#33]

Well, I'm oblivious to whatever gender game this person is playing or who he/she really is, but it's obvious from his/her threads in the past that he/she is some form of a troll. I won't dignify his/her questions by answering them. But I will call him/her on it.

 

[helenabear]

I think someone just doesn't meet many people outside of his own "intellectual" circle. I am not a parent, and I do have many friends who are parents of all ages. Many of them do take time to read, keep up on events and get in "intellectual" discussions. None of them are boring... not in the least. I truly hope I am not boring to them since I lack certain life experiences that they have had and learned from.

It's all a matter of perception... it could be that I would find you and your friends to be boring and uninteresting. It could be you belong to a group of people who talk because they like to pretend they know what they are talking about, when they really don't. Or it could be that you are part of a group of people who are thoughtless of others and either at work or in the community snuff out those who they feel are inferior or "pointless" even though those people contribute more in one hour than they do ina month. It could be that your friends are a bunch of wanna be's who quote true intellectuals and pretend those quotes are truly their own thoughts. It could be that your group say things like you have on this thread to "justify" some selfish ways of life. Or it could be that you just do not share the same interests in general as a few you have met, and possibly judged all based on a few. But really I have NO idea... just pointing out a very small number of posibilities which could or could not be true.

Yes, you got some heated responses because some probably felt attacked. I know I don't but I guess it bothers me when I see people seem so very closed minded as you *appear* to be. Sadly I think this might have been posted to stir the pot... which I dislike since I hate seeing emotions played with.

Just my opinions... nothing I said was meant as an attack, just thoughts and feelings on what I observed And I feel it is good that you and your wife Mary (was that her name) haven't procreated.

 

[ripleysmom]

"I still feel that the most intellectual and interesting people chose not to have children."

Sounds to me like someone needs some justification for their "choice".

I say go for it!! Whatever you need to make you feel better about yourselves is a-okay by me!

 

[CRB#33]

I wish I were as nice a person as you are Elaine

 

[bumcat]

So tell us, how dumb are your parents since they had a child or children?

 

[gina2000]

I don't know about you, guys, but I figure I've got enough mental stimulation for the next 20 years or so. It's called a child who thinks, learns, shares thoughts and brings new ideas to the table. Brainpower doesn't stop when you have children.....it just moves in different directions.

Intellectual stimulation is most boring when it comes from an static, self absorbed group trying to justify its existence with pretention. It becomes most interesting when experienced and discussed by a new generation with new thoughts, ideas and motivations.

 

[Tinkerbelle739]

I said it back on page 1 that the OP must have known they would be flamed for this post.

Maybe they were bored and needed some intellectual stimulation from the mothers and fathers of the DIS world!!!

Wishing everyone a "magical" day!

 

[bananiem]

Originally posted by bumcat
So tell us, how dumb are your parents since they had a child or children?

bwahaha!!!

 

[CEDmom]

I know I possess very little brain being a mom and all but isn't just about every world leader a parent? Now of course some are brighter than others but still they got pretty far with limited intellect. I guess that's just an anomoly

Everytime I worry about my brain possibly turning to mush because of the energy I expend on DD's needs rather than my own I remember something Jackie Kennedy Onasis said once, "if you don't raise your children well nothing else you do matters much".

 

[Pete's Mom]

Originally posted by Chubroach
So does having children limit the intellectual development of people who have children?

On the contrary, my 7 year old son actually stimulates my interest in things that I probably would not have otherwise noticed or even taken the time to think about. From things as trivial as how electricity works, how many satellites there are in space, how a cell or cordless phone work, or as funny as "how do you know the light goes off in the fridge when you close the door?" (okay, so we did some research there ), to very serious issues like "what happens when you die?", "is there really a heaven?", "how long as we going to have to fight the bad guys?", "are they going to try to hurt us again?" It's is very interesting and enlightening as an adult to see the world through a child's eyes. I highly recommend it.

You should also note that there are a lot of people who are childless who talk incessantly about their pets, or workaholics who discuss nothing but their jobs, sport addicts who discuss nothing but sports, etc. To single out parents is unfair.

 

[Mskanga]

Originally posted by Chubroach
My wife and I do not have kids, nor have any interest in having any in the future. Though I do have an observation about people (especially women) who have children:
The kids control and dominate their life and make them boring people!
The people I meet who seem to be interesting intellectual individuals do not have kids. These are the people who care about learning about the world around them, read interesting non fiction books, magazines and newspapers and like to talk about current events. They are involved in the community.

I also have the observation that it is wise for you not to have children !
My kids do not run my life, I read newspapers, watch the news, talk about current events if I feel like it , I am involved in my community and I have a life.
My children and my husband are a very important part of my life, I wouldn't want to change for anything in the world.

But if it comes down to being intellectual only if you don't have children....do we have a bunch of idiots for Presidents and mandataries running this country? God help us if that is the case!

 

[MICKEY88]

Originally posted by Chubroach
Hello from the orginal poster!

So many interesting but highly emotional responses!

One thing that I have found in the past is if someone is very angry about an issue that effects them and responds with emotional or angry responses then there is some truth to the orginal statement.

After reading the responses to my post I am more convinced than ever that having children limits the intellectual development of parents! Again so much time is spent driving the kids around to activities and worrying about them that little time is available to the parent.

Is this being a great parent, yes, but it limits you as a person.

I think you should share your words of wisdom with all the brain surgeons /rocket scientists/ attorneys..etc..,,tell them how much better they would have turned out without children...

 

[MICKEY88]

Originally posted by Chubroach
Hello from the orginal poster!

So many interesting but highly emotional responses!

One thing that I have found in the past is if someone is very angry about an issue that effects them and responds with emotional or angry responses then there is some truth to the orginal statement.

After reading the responses to my post I am more convinced than ever that having children limits the intellectual development of parents! Again so much time is spent driving the kids around to activities and worrying about them that little time is available to the parent.

Is this being a great parent, yes, but it limits you as a person.

one thing I have observed over the years is that people who actually are intellectual, do not go thru life proclaiming such,

it is those who are lacking intellectually / suffering from an inferiority complex, that must go around trying to convince others that they are better...