Do you feel being a parent limits the intellectual side of your personality?

[tidoublegger]

Well, I'm not sure if you posted this as a serious question or to see how much you could irritate people, so I will answer this with the assumption that you were serious.

I am the mother of 5 children and consider myself an intelligent woman. I am in nursing school and am maintaining a 4.0 GPA. Not bad for a mother!

Parents should and do discuss their children. Why shouldn't they? When you become a parent, you've started the most important job you'll ever have! I assume that you discuss your job with your peers, family, etc. Why shouldn't we? If "Johnny" has a cold, are we less intelligent because we are discussing that instead of debating whether Lithuania's parliament should have voted President Rolandas Paksas out of office Tuesday? People discuss what interests them.

I certainly hope that you are not so shallow as to really believe that having children will limit a persons intellectual development! One could only believe that you posted this for S & G's. Probably a good thing you're not planning on having kids...if it limited your intellectual development, I could only imagine the posts that would occur then!

Have a nice day!

 

[ripleysmom]

I think that I can safely say that your post illustrates that it is the person and not their children that reflects the measure of someone's intellect.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

My brother and his wife have two kids, and they are really active in their community and the church.

They were never interested in the kind of things that I am though. It's my duty to get my neices and nephews interested in astronomy, philosophy, art, etc.

People just have different interests, I guess.

 

[Hillbeans]

Lets see...since we've had our DS 3, i've been promoted and am the youngest supervisor ever in my division, and my husband has just completed his Masters in Information Technology and is starting his Doctorate.

Yep, we're a bunch of losers in your book. That's a shame too, becuase I feel we're extremely "well rounded".

 

[binny]

Originally posted by disneygals
No, I was shallow and boring before I had kids, too.

BWAHHHAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA





boy did you open a can of worms chub.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by Chubroach
My wife and I do not have kids, nor have any interest in having any in the future. Though I do have an observation about people (especially women) who have children:

The kids control and dominate their life and make them boring people!

The people I meet who seem to be interesting intellectual individuals do not have kids. These are the people who care about learning about the world around them, read interesting non fiction books, magazines and newspapers and like to talk about current events. They are involved in the community.

The women who have children like to talk about one thing- THEIR KIDS. It seems like they have any one interest- their kids. Conversation with mothers is boring. "Oh, Johnny has been sick" "Did I tell you that Johnny has had trouble in school?" "Johnny has wants a new pair of tennis shoes" ON AND ON.

So does having children limit the intellectual development of people who have children?

*sniff* *sniff* This smells so familiar.

 

[snoopy]

They were never interested in the kind of things that I am though. It's my duty to get my neices and nephews interested in astronomy, philosophy, art, etc.

People just have different interests, I guess.

One can still be interested in art and astronomy and philosophy AND still be interested in their children! There IS life outside of being a parent. Granted, one does have less "me" time when they become a parent -- it takes more effort on the part of the parent to read a book than it does lay on the couch and veg out -- it takes effort, and time, of course which most parents are short of. I was worried about this when I first became a parent - I was a voracious reader to start with, and when would I have time to read again???? I eventually found the time, and on top of that, I then moved on to exploring the rich world of children's literature with my child, a wonderful, somewhat unexpected pleasure. The change we encountered from being married without children to married with children was pretty profound, but we haven't lost ourselves in the process.

 

[Christine]

Okay, I'll just answer your question and take it that you were "really" interested in this and are serious.

I consider myself to be fairly intelligent. Never had a problem getting good grades in school, never had a problem in any job I held and always managed to do a very good job whereever I was and am always respected. My hobby is reading. I used to know all kinds of worthless little trivia--probably because I was fairly well read. I felt that I could converse well with others on all sorts of topics.

HOWEVER--when child number 2 came along, much of that HAS changed. I hardly ever have the time to pick up a book. At least in the last 8 years. Now that my youngest is getting older, I have actually started reading again. Believe me, it kills me. I barely have time to look at a newspaper between getting my kids to where they need to be, preparing meals, and working full-time. So, yeah, I'm definitely "behind" things a little now, but I'd like to think my intellect is intact and when the kids are teenagers I can go back to obsessing about unimportant facts, reading medical journals (I think they're fun), and actually becoming more politically astute.

But I do hope that people would be more understanding. I try to be very understanding of those who do not have children and end up getting all set in their ways and persnickety about the stupidest things.

Also, I am definitely not "consumed" with my children. In many ways (much to my kids' chagrin) I'm very hands off with them. Guess I'm kind of selfish. Many people at my office don't even know I have children. I only bring them up when asked or if it is pertinent to the conversation. If I'm talking with a childless person, they usually never come up. I know when people are interested and when they are not. And you are right, though, some people are so consumed it is all they can talk about.

Now Chubroach, I'd like to ask YOU this (off topic). I would respond to more of your posts; however, I find that you post a topic and then kind of disappear. You rarely ever come back and post responses throughout the threads you create. It's kind of boring. What's up with that?

 

[tidoublegger]

Nicely put snoopy!

 

[CRB#33]

Oh Chubroach, for heavens sake.

Get a life.

 

[Chubroach]

Hello from the orginal poster!

So many interesting but highly emotional responses!

One thing that I have found in the past is if someone is very angry about an issue that effects them and responds with emotional or angry responses then there is some truth to the orginal statement.

After reading the responses to my post I am more convinced than ever that having children limits the intellectual development of parents! Again so much time is spent driving the kids around to activities and worrying about them that little time is available to the parent.

Is this being a great parent, yes, but it limits you as a person.

 

[CRB#33]

Trying to feed the fire some more Mr. Roach?

You may feel that you are of superior intelligence, but I think you need something desperately in your life for you to come and post things you know will inflame people.

If you need to come here and get your kicks out of putting people down, you need to really find whatever it is that is lacking in your life.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

One thing that I have found in the past is if someone is very angry about an issue that effects them and responds with emotional or angry responses then there is some truth to the orginal statement.
....

After reading the responses to my post I am more convinced than ever that having children limits the intellectual development of parents!

The fact that somebody gets angry when you call them stupid doesn't make your hypothesis correct. It also doesn't make them stupid.

 

[tidoublegger]

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Trying to feed the fire some more Mr. Roach?

I think it's 'Miss'.

 

[meandtheguys]

cough..cough...troll ...cough...cough

 

[Christine]

Originally posted by Chubroach
Hello from the orginal poster!

After reading the responses to my post I am more convinced than ever that having children limits the intellectual development of parents! Again so much time is spent driving the kids around to activities and worrying about them that little time is available to the parent.

Is this being a great parent, yes, but it limits you as a person.

Chubroach,
Remember that there are various forms of intelligence. And while parents may suffer in the "booksmart" area for a short time, their intelligence may grow in the other areas. To me, intelligence is more than just how well-versed you are in current events or literature, or how well you can hold up your end of a conversation at a cocktail party. It's all about being well-rounded. I do feel that those who don't experience children (whether they have them by childbirth or just work with them in some form), do limit their overall life experiences and that the lack of this exposure doesn't allow growth in the way they perceive the world. I'm sure many if not all childless people would not agree with that, but if you want to generalize.....

 

[debster812]

Goofygirl? Is that you?

If you were in fact serious, my answer is no.

Ever tried convincing a 6YO to eat his green beans? Took most of my intellectual abilities last night. Guess what, he won. I guess he must be smarter than I am.

 

[mickeyboat]

Raising my children well is the most important contribution I can make to my community. Our children are the future of our world, and if I devote my time, attention and intellectual energy to them, society will benefit.

Concern for being a well-rounded individual is what drove me to become a parent. Motherhood has opened up a completely different view of the world, without which I would not be a whole person, either spiritually or emotionally. Becomming a parent adds to my intellectual development, it does not detract from it. I have created a new life, I am watching it grow and develop, I am shaping and molding it, I am amazed by it.

Does talking about my children make me boring? Maybe to someone who doesn't have kids. But to the vast majority of adults, parenthood is what binds us to one another. You feel a special connection to someone who has faced and is facing the same child-rearing challenges. We choose to speak our childern because we enjoy it.

That doesn't mean that becoming a parent destroys one's ability to explore our intellectual capacity. Parents are perfectly capable of lofty pursuits such as leading the free world, traveling in space, producing volumes of literature and text, creating beautiful art and pursuing a multitude of other challenges.

I hope the OP has a change of heart. I hope he does not miss out on the most intellectually stimulating, personally satisfying and enriching experience of his life by not having a child. I think in time he will come to understand what we already know. And when he does, he will find a community of parents with which he will enjoy sharing his experience. Then he will understand why we always talk about our kids.

Denae

P.S. edited to add - This issue does affect me, and I have responded with an emotional response, but that does mean there is truth to the initial statement.

 

[Chubroach]

I never said that being a parent is for stupid people, or makes you dumb. I said that the time a parent spends on their kids limits the time they can spend developing their intellectual side. Also that many parents only talk about their kids which makes their conversation dull.

I still feel that the most intellectual and interesting people chose not to have children.