Do you exchange gifts with ALL your siblings? Christmas drama.....

[bigbabyblues]

DH has 3 siblings and each one has a spouse. We see them all on Christmas, and the gift exchange varies but the understanding is that if you see something one of the others would really like, get it; no expectation that they will get something for you. It works out well for this group. If I see something one of my sisters in law would like, I get it for them. Some years, they give things to us, some years they don't. His youngest brother usually buys for all the siblings (not spouses, which is also fine).

 

[tennisfan]

I only have one older sister who is married with 2 children. I still exchange with her family and my parents

 

[VandVsmama]

Historically, we have given gifts to:
my sister
my dad
DH's sister
DH's sister's DH
niece
nephew
DH's aunt
DH's uncle
DH's mom

And we used to spend a target $$ amount on each person, which added up really fast. This year, we are scaling way back. Other than DH's mom, NONE of these people live near us, so gift giving involved me doing lots of searching and shopping online, trying to find just the perfect gift for each person on a site that offered free shipping.

This year is different. We're going to spend half the amount per person that we have in years past and I'm getting everyone gift cards, which will be sent to them in the mail in a nice Christmas card.

 

[Minnesota!]

No. No gift exchanging between siblings.

Kids, only.

 

[Sydney2977]

DH and I married young and moved far away from the rest of the family when oldest DS was 1 1/2, so we've always sent gifts to everyone for birthdays and Christmas because we don't see everyone during the year. His sister has a son the same age as our youngest. My brother and step brother both got married later and one has a 5 year old and one has a 1 year old. We've gotten presents for them and now their wives and daughters. We don't do it as an obligation, but because we like to. His sister is a single mom so we always like to treat her, and get our nephew cool stuff too. We've joked with my brothers and called "gift truces" some years between us adults, but I usually end up finding something even silly to send them anyway. It's nice that in our families there is not a feeling of "have to" but "want to."

 

[gotomu212]

Last year I decided to be the bad guy and suggest no gifts and it did not go over well. We all live far away and haven't seen each other in years in some cases. We either send each other the same gift cards (a wash), or things go missing and you keep asking if it came 'still no' (twice now gift cards MIA) or we get a big box the person sent a fortune sending, but all or most of it ends up in the donation bin (ie ceramic high heel tchotchkes, dollar store lotions, glamour shots of the sender and bags of old Halloween candy).

I know it’s hard but you can always say “this is the last year that we’re buying gifts for everyone” and then they can do whatever they want to do. I think that’s easier than trying to get everyone to “agree”. We had to do that with an extended family that had 6 kids and no one wanted to keep buying all these individual gifts but this one family would fight it. Finally we said we weren’t going to do gifts, and they fired back that they didn’t care they were still going to buy for everyone. We said okay, that’s fine, but we wanted everyone to know that we were not.....the holiday rolled around and funny enough they didn’t buy gifts after all.

 

[firefly_ris]

I'm an only child and my husband is the oldest of four. We used to exchange with all of them (and their SOs/spouses), then we started doing a singular exchange by drawing names out of a hat. Now there are kids (8 soon to be 9 between us) so we stopped doing sibling gifts and do kids only now. No one seems bothered by it.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Nope - we stopped that about 10 years ago thankfully. I sent out a group email asking if we could just draw names for the kids and we all agreed to that.

Now we just draw names for kids until they turn 18. Wow - just realized that this is the last year for my daughter to be in the family drawing.

Wonder how we'll work that out starting in 2019 since that means we won't have enough kids for every family to have a kids name (4 sisters but there are only 3 kids left under 18).

For my husbands side of the family we are the only one with kids. But all we were doing with his brother and sister was exchanging gift cards so I talked to them about it and we agreed to stop exchanging. Now I just send them a Christmas card and recent pictures of the kids which sure is hard to get one of my son since he's 21.

I forgot to mention that sometimes I break the rules. I like to make jewelry for fun and this year I made my sisters, sister-in-law, Mom and Step Mother in law each a piece of jewelry - either a necklace or earrings depending on what I know they'll like.

 

[kdonnel]

We have peace treaties with everyone. We don’t waste money buying useless gifts for family members and they don’t waste money buying useless gifts for us.

 

[RC Fan]

This is the second year that we will buy for the kids only. It is awesome for us! I do realize it might not work for others.

I heard a stat last Christmas that 70% of Christmas gifts are unappreciated. That is a lot of money to spend for no reason.

 

[tvguy]

A family gift is usually exchanged. A box of candy, or other non-perishable food gift. But my half-brother is 23 years older, and while we get along just fine, and only live 6 miles apart, we just have our own lives. I turned 60 this year, and he did buy me a little red wagon as a gift. What else does and 83 year old buy for his kid brother?

 

[Skippy918]

We only do the siblings kids. 3 of them also have December birthdays so that makes it more challenging to figure out what to get. I do get something for my aunt & uncle, parents and MIL.

 

[disykat]

DH and I married young and moved far away from the rest of the family when oldest DS was 1 1/2, so we've always sent gifts to everyone for birthdays and Christmas because we don't see everyone during the year. His sister has a son the same age as our youngest. My brother and step brother both got married later and one has a 5 year old and one has a 1 year old. We've gotten presents for them and now their wives and daughters. We don't do it as an obligation, but because we like to. His sister is a single mom so we always like to treat her, and get our nephew cool stuff too. We've joked with my brothers and called "gift truces" some years between us adults, but I usually end up finding something even silly to send them anyway. It's nice that in our families there is not a feeling of "have to" but "want to."

Are you sure? Why the gift truces then? I'm glad you enjoy the gift giving, but it sounds like all your family might not be like-minded.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I only have one sibling (married) and DW is an only child. We do not exchange gifts with my sister & BIL.

 

[Kitty 34]

We used to draw names but that ended when my sister started having lots of grand babies. What I do for all her grand kids is have a huge annual Easter Egg hunt with lots of prizes and gifts. Now I have my own grandchildren but still plan on the annual egg hunt in the spring.

So no to gifts for extended family but yes to lots of hanging out with all the family members.

 

[OneOftheB's]

We have peace treaties with everyone. We don’t waste money buying useless gifts for family members and they don’t waste money buying useless gifts for us.

Can I be adopted into your family?

In my family I buy gifts for my dad and for my nephew; my brother buys for my two kids. My husband's family all expect multiple gifts for each person, from each person (even the kids are expected to "give a gift"). Drives me crazy.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

We buy gifts for everyone under 18 and the adults put their names in a hat and each one draws a name to buy for. We do this on both mine and my husband’s side of the family.

 

[Sydney2977]

Are you sure? Why the gift truces then? I'm glad you enjoy the gift giving, but it sounds like all your family might not be like-minded.

No it's more like "you guys don't have to get me anything" when our kids were younger cuz they wanted us to spend on our kids and not them, but we wanted to.

 

[AuntieMe3]

I get everyone gifts because I want to...I love having everyone open gifts. My sister gives gifts but our brother doesn't, he only gives to the kids and our parents, which is fine with all of us.

 

[bushdianee]

I have 7 siblings. All but 3 of us are married and have kids and some have grand kids so here are getting close to 40 of us with spouses and so's. Once the kids turn 18 they have the option of participating in drawings. Some opt for the $25 drawing, some the $50 and some don't participate. As far as the kids those who want to buy for them do. When my mom was alive she bought for everybody. she's only been gone for 5 years.