Do you call your in-laws mom and dad?

[design_mom]

I'm like Slo. I try to avoid the issue. My husband's sister's spouse calls them by their first names, so I'm sure I could too. Or I'm sure I could call them mom and dad, too. (They're nice people and I don't think they'd get hung-up on what they're called. The weirdness is mostly on my side.) But "mom and dad" feels weird (my parents are still living). Calling them by their first names seems disrespectful somehow (like someone else posted, I started out with Mr. and Mrs. Lastname.) So I usually try to avoid calling them anything (just speak directly to them without a name) or describing the relationship to the person I'm talking to refer to them "... your mom" (to my husband), "Grandma" (to my kids), etc.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Nope! 20+ years over here and it's too weird. My husband calls my parents mom and dad and my parents don't really care but I can't do it, it was easier when kids came around because I could say Grandma and Grandpa or I use their first names.

 

[lovesmurfs]

32 years married. DH and I each call our in-laws by their first name. My DDIL generally will call us Mom and Dad (her choice), but it feels somewhat forced.

 

[nene0182]

I address them by their first names. As someone that lost my mom two years ago, I can’t see ever directly calling my mother in law mom. She’s a lovely woman and I care a lot about her, but she’s not my mom. If I started calling her mom now I feel like it would be awkward. And I’m not particularly close to my father in law so calling him dad would never happen either.

 

[easyas123]

I have limited contact w/ my in-laws but if I need to address them I will call they by their first name. My husband who enjoys a good relationship w/ my folks calls them by a combo of their first names and grandmom/grandpop.
Interesting question...I become a MIL for the first time in just over a month and now that I think about it I'm not sure my new DIL has ever called me anything! I better clear that up with her, she can call me what she wants

 

[BayouQueen]

I don't and it's nice to see that so many others don't either. I've always wondered if it was cold that nobody ever asked me to. I guess it's more the norm to call them by their names, as I do.

 

[AppleDumpling]

I only have a MIL. (She was widowed before DH and I met.) Married 32 years, and I’m another one who mostly doesn’t call her anything, except in rare instances. It just feels awkward, especially in the years since my own mother has passed. I also could never call her by her first name as that is not how I was raised. I refer to her as Nana sometimes, in the presence of her grandchildren.

When/if I become a MIL myself, I would let DIL use whatever she prefers and wouldn’t mind either Mom or my name (or something else, but hopefully not nothing, LOL.)

 

[LoveSpringsteen]

I call my in-laws by their first names. My husband called my Mom, “Mom”, but he calls my Dad by his first name.

 

[disykat]

I called them by their first names. My children's spouses call ne by my first name. The only time I ever referred to MIL as mom was when caring for her at the end of her life. Even then I alternated between mom and first name depending on the context.

 

[OrangeBirdGirl]

I call mine by their first names. However, when DH's grandparents were alive, I would call them Grandma and Grandpa. I just felt weird when I met them when they were close to 70 calling them by their first name or Mrs & Mr.

 

[Kitty 34]

Had a MIL, called her by her first name and after kids just Grandma "last name".

One of my DILs calls me Mama as does that son. The other two with my grandkids call me Grandma and DH, Grandpa. Pre kids one called me Kitty and the other didn't really call me anything.

 

[georgina]

No No No. They were not my parents. I called them by their first names, as our son-in-law does with us.

 

[kyton]

Whilst we dated (13yrs!) I called them Mr and Mrs surname. When we got engaged at age 32, my FIL said please call us Mum and Dad or by our first names - I chose to call them Mum and Dad. Didn’t mean I loved my parents any less - it’s just that as business owners absolutely EVERYONE called them by their first names which didn’t seem “special” to me.

My husband on the other hand tends to refer to my parents as Nan and Pop (when he was still alive) since our kids are pretty much always with us when he visits. If he’s talking to my Mum about my late Dad, he calls him Johnny Mac.

 

[Skywalker3]

No. Used to call them by first names, w Mr, Ms, but now they're Grandma and Grandpa.
I would never feel comfortable calling anyone but my parents by Mom or Dad

 

[fla4fun]

I don’t have any in-laws, but this thread got me to thinking. I don’t remember either my mom or dad calling their in-laws anything. Not Mom or Dad, not by name, not anything. When talking to each other, they would say your mom, your dad, your parents, but I never heard them refer to them any other way. Out of the four grandparents, only my paternal grandfather was a bit of a handful to deal with. The other three were all very nice. I’m going to have to puzzle about this now . . .

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Just their names.

The sister-in-law that had been previously married her husband did call his wife's parents mom and dad. Even after the divorce they still help him out every now and then whether that's letting him store something like a car part in their outbuilding or take him out for a meal. The calling of mom and dad has no part in that just that they honestly feel bad for him. Now that he is engaged not sure if that will continue.

 

[stevelle]

I've always called them by their first names, and I've noticed that my son-in-law and daughter-in-law call me by my first name. But as I was wrapping and labelling gifts the other day I realized it felt a bit odd putting from: and then our first names on the daughter-in-law's gift. I think most of the time we try to avoid having to say a name at all, which I noticed some of the previous posts have said as well.

 

[VandVsmama]

A long time ago, my MIL got bent out of shape because I wouldn't call her "Mom." At the time, I told her that I wasn't comfortable with that and preferred to call her by her 1st name. That continued on that way just fine for several years.

And then my mom died. A horrible death of very painful cancer. A couple of months after that, my MIL started up on it again. "I'm so upset and offended because you won't call me Mom." I told her, "I mean no offense, but I already have a mother. I love you and care about you very much, but I'm not going to be able to call you Mom." My MIL then said, "But what does it matter? Your mother is dead now."

In my head, I was thinking, "WTH did you just say?!" Outwardly, I said, "True. She IS dead. But she's still my mom. I still only have one mother. And you are not that person. My mom just had a change of address. I will not ever be calling you Mom. If you ask again, the answer will still be the same."

She wisely has decided to not bring it up again. She's quite something. But this is the same woman who used to say to my kids (when they were in elementary school) at Christmas time that she is an orphan because her parents are dead. Ok - (1) her father died when she was 13 or 14; (2) her mother died when the woman was well into her 70s...when your last living parent dies when you are a middle-aged woman, that does not mean you're an orphan.

 

[AgentMama]

If our kids aren't around, I call the in-laws by their first names, otherwise by their grandparent names (Birdie and Grumpy... they picked their names).

 

[AuntieMe3]

I can’t say on these boards what I call my mother-in-law. I did call my father-in-law “dad” though. He was the nicest man ever. How he put up with his witch of a wife for over 70 years is mind blowing.

Sounds like my inlaws.
I call my mother in law by her first name and before my FIL passed I called him Papa.

My husband calls my parents by their first name.