Do you agree

[Disneydonnam]

I had this posted on another thread but got no responses. We are hoping somebody agrees with us so we don't keep questioning ourselves DH and I are wondering if we are wrong. We take my family to Disney with us every other yr and I plan it all. I plan the entire vaca with meals,shows etc. I LOVE and NEED to do this Never has there been a problem or disagreement everyone goes and has a great time. This yr we are taking my inlaws. They do not want me to plan anything I tried explaining we are going in Dec which is very busy once again told not to plan anything. They are very stubborn and when they say something that is it. I did book one dinner the last night we are there. I just didn't want to make them adr that I know they would not show up for. MY DH said this is our vaca and not to worry about them. We have all adr plus MVMCP, Candelight Procession etc. Are we wrong on not booking them anything? Thanks

 

[LadyShea]

You did your best to explain why planning is important, and are following their wishes, I don't see how that can be wrong. You may want to send them your itinerary, and let them know that there is a limited time frame in which you can include them if they want to change their mind.

If they complain later, you can honestly say you did your best.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

The only thing I can tell you is that it is much easier to take two off an ADR than to add two. If you think they might join you, you can add them. I would say that people who do not go to Disney or research it have no idea how hard it is to eat without an ADR.

If your DH says not to worry about it then try not to. I know how it feels though. I worry a lot more about my IL's feelings than my DH. If they are the type that doesn't like CS, you might have in the back of your mind some TS restaurants that don't fill up so you could send them there. One year my mom decided to join us two weeks before the trip. I got her in some with us, but not all. She had a glass of wine and an appetizer at the WL bar one night. She also got in the Grand Floridian Cafe and Narcoosee's right when it opened. If you can't tell, my mom is most definitely not a CS type gal! For a few, but definitely not all!

 

[Disneydonnam]

Thank you for responding. When we were picking restaurants and Holiday Special Events we were at their house showing them everything they could do. I just feel bad DH and I are going to do so much and they prob. won't be able to do anything without prior reservations. But I did try and I am not going to let it ruin our trip.

 

[moredisneyplease]

Is this their first time there? I've noticed that most people dont understand the vastness of WDW and think that its not neccessary to do so much planning.

I say plan what you really want to do and leave them out of it. Make sure you let them know in advanced that you havent planned anything for them but that you've planned for your family (you, DH, and kids) the following activities......dinner here, MVMCP, Candlelight, etc etc. But beyond those absolutley must dos, maybe just relax a bit and go with the flow. I know its hard to do but you CAN do it!

 

[Disneydonnam]

Easier to say then do . But I put to much time into planning our good time so as you said I am going to go with the flow. At least DH is with me on this one

 

[Disney_Angel]

They have made it clear not to plan. You have respected their wishes not to plan for them. You have made a wise decision to plan for your family. I think you have made a reasonable effort. Have a great time...guilt free.

 

[Disneydonnam]

Thank you for your response. I feel so much better that others agree with us. I think its just I am such a planner that I could never imagine going without reservations.

 

[eliza61]

Thank you for your response. I feel so much better that others agree with us. I think its just I am such a planner that I could never imagine going without reservations.

AAAh but that's you. I no longer go to Disney with adr's or plans and you know what, I have a fabulous time. I don't have any absolute favorites at wdw that I have to eat at, so for me its more fun to wake up call disney dining and find out what's available for the day.

Why is it so important for them to go your way? I would plan maybe 2 adr's for 4 than go ahead with the planning for your family like normal.

I would just make sure they understand that you will not change your plans or adr's at a later date.

WDW is so much more fun when you can tour the way you want and for some families that is more "go with the flow" type touring.

 

[LisaZoe]

Maybe they truly don't like to do anything that isn't spur of the moment. If so, they'll likely know that limits their options. Of course they might not realize how much it cuts out at WDW but at least you've tried to let them know.

I'm not a big planner in general but the one time I went to WDW, I definitely had things planned more than usual. It wasn't an easy adjustment but since my DD was only 3 at the time, I wanted to make sure we could do some of the fun meals. The rest of my family is much more "we'll figure it out when we get there". When I was making the plans for our recent DLR trip, I let them know of some things I'd be doing with DD (such as a character meal) and asked them to let me know if they wanted to be included. If not, we'd go on our own. Only my sister and her grandson wanted to go - all the others didn't want to miss time in the parks. In the end, we all had a great time and spent plenty of it together while still having time to do the things we wanted.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Just returned from POR and I can just tell you that my extended family decided to go "without" planning meals/ADR's.
They ate at 9pm at Fort Wilderness to get a sit down one night, ate many more counter service meals in lieu of TS. that they just could not got in. We could not get into Boatwrights one night till 9 and we were ON property.
It worked for them as they had no problem with running all over to get a meal, but it would not work for our family.
As long as they can handle the possibility of not being able to get seated they'll be okay. IF they don't understand that, they will unfortunately be in for a SHOCK!

 

[allie1078]

Have they not been there in a while? My mom couldn't believe all the planning I did for our recent trip, because when she went 20 some years ago you didn't need reservations for anything. Maybe thats what they think it is still like and think you are just over exagerating the planning aspect of the trip.

 

[Disneydonnam]

This will be the first visit for them. I was trying to make it memorable and magical. I am just afraid being the first time and experiencing restaurants with no availability it will make them not want to go back again.

 

[peemagg]

I guess when I was making the reservations for my family I would add 2 more to the table. Then I would tell my in-laws that "We have reservations at ----, you can join us if you would like". This gives them the option to do their own thing or join you. You might find that after trying on their own to get into some places they might join you. This would also stop the " You didn't tell us", guilt trip.

 

[Krissy Marissy]

I dont think you are wrong for not booking them anything, afterall...you did try to explain!!! I like what your DH says...it is your vaca and you two should enjoy it and make the most of it!!

 

[aspcamhreditor2]

Wow, what a dilemma.

Obviously, some just don't get the WDW experience in advance or understand the need. I think all of us DIS-ers feel your pain on this.

I think you can play it one of two ways.... First, as someone else sugggested, it is easier to take two people off an ADR than add. You could just add set up ADRs for them as a back up. Then, when you go you can say ... "we are going to X at X time on such & such and you can join us or not."

That is one way to handle it. But, I wouldn't tell them in advance of the trip since they seem so anti any pre-planning.

Or, second ... book what you want, when you want for your family. When you get down there, you can tell them the same basic thing ..."We are going to x at x time on such & such" ... then you can add, "since ressies are required 6 months in advance most places, sorry ... but we can't get you in. However, how about we plan to meet up after for such & such?"

Depends on what you want to get out of the trip. Either way, you can't force others to do things your way. Obviously, there are different opinions on whether to pre-plan or not.

Third option ... which someone else suggested ... include them in a COUPLE of your ADRs and then do your own thing everywhere else. That is probably the best of both worlds. You get to do some planning ... they aren't forced into anything ... you get to look the hero when they might not be able to get in anywhere else, etc

 

[tigger813]

DH and I did all the planning for our Dec trip with DDs and my parents. My parents told us to do what we wanted. They would trust our decisions. We ate at Coral Reef, CRT, H&V and Tusker House. Rest of the meals were CS like Cosmic Rays and ABC Commissary. We did ask them about a few things. They also picked a couple of tours to do while we were there. It worked out well for all of us. We are planning on taking them again in Dec. 2010.

Now, my brother and his DW and DS went to Disney for Thanksgiving. I aksed if he made any reservations and he said no he'd just go with what was happening that day. Well, on Thanksgiving they ate at McD's and pizza from room service. Maybe if he goes again he will listen to me.

 

[Disneydonnam]

I was able to change my reservation to include them at Italy in Epcot. I think I will sleep a little better tonight knowing I did add them to something.

 

[patsal]

I've been in your shoes with my parents and now I just let them go with the flow. They made it clear they didn't want anything planned and you are respecting their wishes. If they begin to complain that they are finding it difficult to find TS share with them that they can call from the room to find something available. Maybe even do it with them the first time to sort of walk them through.
When I let my parents do this they saw nothing in World Showcase and at first I felt a bit bad, but they got what they wanted and had no structure. They went back the next year a few weeks before Christmas, before they left my Mom called me and asked me to make her ADR's and asked how to find out what times to be where for the stuff in Epcot and how to set up the CP dinner. Guess she must have learned something by not having a plan and when my Dad thought my Mom had done all the work he had no issue following a plan. Of course she had limited mobility and forgot to note that on her reservation so I am in the middle of teaching a class when my phone rings--now if my phone rings while I'm at work I answer it becasue it must be a kid emergency--nope it is my Mom and she is freaking out at me because she is in the building furthest from the bus stop and she doesn't think she can walk that far everyday with her cane and she doesn't want my dad to have to push her in a wheelchair. After I calm her down I tell her I'll call her back in 5 minutes, but I quickly tell her not to touch anything in the room or attempt to unpack. My class ends, I call her back tell her to walk back to the front desk, take her time and walk slowly so she does not exert herself. Then I tell her to get back in line at the desk and expalin that she has mobility issues that should have been noted on the reservation but must not have been and if at all possible could they move her to a different room. Here is where she tells me she called the front desk but they said they couldn't do anything for her. Now I tell her again--do not call you are not getting the front desk and they really can't help you. An hour later she calls me back, problem solved moved her immediately to a handicapped accessable room and everything is all good. Another one of those things that could have been avoided if she ahd asked to begin with. She is stubborn and believes she knows what she needs to know.
My advice, take a deep breath and sit on your hands if you have to! Let them do what they feel they need to do and then if they are in a pinch just try to help them as best you can once there. Whatever you do , do not let it interfere with your vacation and good time.

 

[Disneydonnam]

Thank you. You said what my husband has been saying all along. I just have to realize they are not like me and need a plan. For our trip I booked the room 11 months ago and then daily made a new itinary. When I hit 180 days I was booked and thought I was all set. Then 2 months later they come out with park hrs and my madness began again. Like everyone has been saying let them do what they wanna do and my family will do what we have booked.