Do you agree with this?

[ccgirl]

I am a single mom, but even though I love my DD13 with all my heart, being a mom isn't my only goal in life. I look at it like your life has chapters in it, even though DD is a huge chapter, she isn't the whole book. I felt the same way when I was married to her dad. I know people who wrap their lives around their kids and have no outside life, when the kid goes off to college or whatever, the parent is besides themselves on what to do now that their kid is gone or try to cling on to their kid, that isn't for me.

I would agree and I also think it is no limited to single parents either. I have two friends that are SAHM and they have no life other than their children. They don't do anything without their children. BTW, before I get flamed this is no disprespect toward SAHM. I know MANY amazing SAHM, these two are almost like conjoined twins with their children. They are still walking them in to school in third grade.

 

[ccgirl]

How I raise them, may effect them, but ultimately, I'm the one that is raising my child, not the school. As long as im not abusing them, its my business, not the schools.
I have a philosophy and style that I'm comfortable with. If I have parenting questions I will consult one of the books that respects my parenting method or will check with my pediatrician who is a believer in my parenting philosophy. Frankly, unless the problem was originating at school, I wouldn't be consulting the school.

The "issue" I see with that is what if your discipline method(not saying it is at all) is to let the your child run the house and whatever they want without limitations and they behave that way in class. Do you not feel that then becomes the school/teacher's business? I look at advice like opinions. There are two sides of it. Just because someone make feel different than you doesn't make it wrong. Just because someone offers advice does not mean you have to take it.

I don't take parenting advise from our pediatrician, either. I take medical advice from her. I have no problem lettting the doctor know that.

Just curious, who would you take parenting advice from then?

 

[luvmy3]

I would agree and I also think it is no limited to single parents either. I have two friends that are SAHM and they have no life other than their children. They don't do anything without their children. BTW, before I get flamed this is no disprespect toward SAHM. I know MANY amazing SAHM, these two are almost like conjoined twins with their children. They are still walking them in to school in third grade.

I think you need a more compelling example than that

 

[Coconut36]

The piece of junk that was sent home to the OP, for example, is coming from an author with a point of view that espouses hitting your kids. I don't want to start a debate about corporal punishment here, but that absolutely is child abuse to me. YMMV. I agree with you that there are a variety of parenting styles. That's why teachers should keep their parenting philosophies to themselves and concentrate on what goes on in the classroom.

No, I don't think teaching children in an educational setting is at all equivalent to parenting. Neither does my public school teacher husband. He jokes about how he and some of his colleagues used to know it all about raising kids until they actually had some.

I didn't say they knew about parenting..I said they knew how to handle children in an educational setting and have varied experiences and exposures the average parent would never have..making them not inexperienced in that regard. They deal with things no parent would ever have to handle.

I don't feel a teacher (my DH teaches public school as did my Mom for almost 30 years) needs to have children to know some basics about children and know that their home life impacts their school life tremendously (and that I feel was the point of the handout).

As for the author of the actual piece..I don't think that is remotely relevant as there is absolutely NOTHING in that piece regarding corporal punishment (something I don't believe in either) so it really doesn't mean jack what other views that person might speak to as they are not what was sent home.

 

[Coconut36]

I would agree and I also think it is no limited to single parents either. I have two friends that are SAHM and they have no life other than their children. They don't do anything without their children. BTW, before I get flamed this is no disprespect toward SAHM. I know MANY amazing SAHM, these two are almost like conjoined twins with their children. They are still walking them in to school in third grade.

Oh the horror! Seriously that is your example of them having no life other than their kids? They walk their 8-9 year old to school..that is hardly an example of having no life other than their kids.

 

[ccgirl]

I think you need a more compelling example than that

Oh the horror! Seriously that is your example of them having no life other than their kids? They walk their 8-9 year old to school..that is hardly an example of having no life other than their kids.

SOrry, no that is just one of many examples. Just didn't feel the need to share others. I said they have no life other than their kids. They don't go out with any adult friends etc. They replace any adult interaction with their children; concerts, going out to restaurants/bars, bowling leagues etc. (to name a few). I'm really not going to go into it here. I think if you are still walking your third grader into school, taking their lunch box out and putting it in the cubby, and hanging their coat up for them you are really not helping your child. But hey, it's "your" child (a general your). If you want to do things for your children that they should do for themselves that's totally up to you (again, a general you).

 

[2binak]

Personally, I see a difference between working with someone and unsolicited spam (which is what it is just in dead tree format).

If a teacher sees a student has a particular problem that might be related to a home problem they can reach out and work with the parents. That seems completely reasonable. Send a sealed note home to the parents with your concerns and ask for a call, email, or face to face conference. I see that completely different than what was described in the OP.

Just my opinion.

 

[Pigeon]

Just curious, who would you take parenting advice from then?

I will ask for parenting advice from people I know in real life with whom I share common values, who I think have been excellent parents and who have experience in dealing with the particular issues I am asking about.

 

[Pigeon]

As for the author of the actual piece..I don't think that is remotely relevant as there is absolutely NOTHING in that piece regarding corporal punishment (something I don't believe in either) so it really doesn't mean jack what other views that person might speak to as they are not what was sent home.

As for the author of the fluff that was sent home, I would not look for information from someone who would hit children, whether or not their particular advice had to do with hitting children. To me (and again, I do not wish to start a discussion on corporal punishment), anyone who hits their child is starting from a completely different perspective than mine about children and respect. Similarly, I would not look to an avowed wife beater for relationship advice.

 

[Acklander]

The "issue" I see with that is what if your discipline method(not saying it is at all) is to let the your child run the house and whatever they want without limitations and they behave that way in class. Do you not feel that then becomes the school/teacher's business? I look at advice like opinions. There are two sides of it. Just because someone make feel different than you doesn't make it wrong. Just because someone offers advice does not mean you have to take it.




Just curious, who would you take parenting advice from then?

If my discipline method was to let my child run the house without any limitations, then this flyer wouldn't do any good, would it??? Because it goes against everything that I would believe in.

If my Child's teacher has a problem with him, they're more than welcome to drop me a note, give me a call or send me an e-mail and we can go from there.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I would assume that the training is part of their job and led by people who are experts in their field. How I raise my child is not part of their job. I also don't take raising happy children advice from my auto mechanic (even if he's gone to an auto mechanics training a few days a year) or from my librarian ( even though she's gone to library seminars through out the year) or from the pool guy who is very proud of his water balancing certificate. If I want advice on getting my kid through math or science - that's the info I am looking for from teachers. - not about how much time I spend with my husband, or how much tv my child watches.

Oh, please. The person you responded to indicated that they would be perfectly delighted to work with a teacher about educational issues. No one has said anything to the contrary.

It is the uninvited butting in on people's family life that we object to. The problem is that schools are increasingly feeling like they have a right to get involved in what goes on out of school. Keep your nose out of my family time and we'll be fine.

Respectfully, "info I'm looking for from teachers" isn't nearly the same as being willing to work with them.

Virtually nobody gets training to be a parent. It's lifelong on-the-job learning. Again, I'm amazed at the vitriol displayed here. If you don't like the tips, ignore them. But you know, if one person learns something from one tip? It's a good thing.

I grew up long before this list existed. We didn't have money, we didn't have a lot of things. We didn't travel - but we did read. My parents stood together making decisions regarding us, neither ever sided with a child (yes, even during the infamous 'strapping' - and no, it didn't teach me it's okay to beat a child, or anyone).

 

[Pigeon]

Respectfully, "info I'm looking for from teachers" isn't nearly the same as being willing to work with them.

Virtually nobody gets training to be a parent. It's lifelong on-the-job learning. Again, I'm amazed at the vitriol displayed here. If you don't like the tips, ignore them. But you know, if one person learns something from one tip? It's a good thing.

I grew up long before this list existed. We didn't have money, we didn't have a lot of things. We didn't travel - but we did read. My parents stood together making decisions regarding us, neither ever sided with a child (yes, even during the infamous 'strapping' - and no, it didn't teach me it's okay to beat a child, or anyone).

If you tick off three quarters of the parents in the class when you send home this crap, then I disagree that it's a good thing overall.

 

[kaytieeldr]

If my discipline method was to let my child run the house without any limitations, then this flyer wouldn't do any good, would it??? Because it goes against everything that I would believe in.

If my Child's teacher has a problem with him, they're more than welcome to drop me a note, give me a call or send me an e-mail and we can go from there.

But if your child's teacher is having various problems with multiple students, a general tip sheet makes sense.

And no, really, it's NOT the teacher.

 

[Pigeon]

But if your child's teacher is having various problems with multiple students, a general tip sheet makes sense.

And no, really, it's NOT the teacher.

Sometimes, actually, yes it is the teacher. Teachers are like any other profession. There are great ones, mediocre ones and bad ones.

 

[Acklander]

Respectfully, "info I'm looking for from teachers" isn't nearly the same as being willing to work with them.

e).

Why isn't it the same? I've always been very happy to work with my kid's teacher on his math, science and so on. He has a set amount he learns in the classroom, and we supplement that education with plenty of books, museum trips, travel and so on. That's why I'm sending him to school - for academics.

I'm not sending him to school for advice on parenting or How to run our marriage, or what chores he should or shouldn't be doing. That is not his teachers or the schools business. that's our family business.