Do you agree with this?

[Pea-n-Me]

Our school sends home those same things that you listed, but since they are directly related to performance in school, I could see where people see the sheet the OP is talking about as a related to parenting in generall. Its not just how it would benefit your child as a student, but more how it would benefit your child at home too.

Another interpretation is that a "happy child" transmits to both home and school since the two are generallly interrelated.

 

[Andtototoo]

I could really go for some asparagus au gratin.

The list being sent home would not offend me in the slightest, even though I don't agree with quite a few of the items. I've volunteered in classrooms, so I have no problem imagining why the teacher/administration send home parenting tips: a significant number of kids obviously come from homes in which parenting is poor or frankly, nonexistent (the kids are raising themselves). The poor parenting has a tremendous impact on their efforts to do their job. My only problem with sending it home is that I sincerely doubt those parents will be reached by this effort, so it's not only wasteful, it has the negative impact of annoying some of the good parents.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

You don't like my grandma's book?

Oh, I thought we were talking about taking the list from school and assuming there was sexism in it.

Your grandma's book is different. It is really entertaining, in a "did they really live that way?" kind of way. And I can see how you can compare the two. In fifty years, what would people say when they read that list?

In fact, right now I'm watching The Dick Van (censored last name that's the same word as a bad name for lesbians because DISBoards can't look at things in context) Show on Netflix. It's really weird some of the issues they deal with. One was about Rob worrying that Laura wanted a job. One was about "the decline of man" by suggesting men do some of the housework.

The show, in general, was progressive (Rob was going to let Laura take the job is she wanted, and did some of the house work), but it's weird that both seemed to be such big problems at the time.

 

[joviroxx]

I wouldn't be offended. As far as my objection it has nothing to do with the validity or quality of the list. It has everything to do with this crossing of the line from what are school issues to what are home issues.

 

[PeterPan09]

I could really go for some asparagus au gratin.

The list being sent home would not offend me in the slightest, even though I don't agree with quite a few of the items. I've volunteered in classrooms, so I have no problem imagining why the teacher/administration send home parenting tips: a significant number of kids obviously come from homes in which parenting is poor or frankly, nonexistent (the kids are raising themselves). The poor parenting has a tremendous impact on their efforts to do their job. My only problem with sending it home is that I sincerely doubt those parents will be reached by this effort, so it's not only wasteful, it has the negative impact of annoying some of the good parents.

Exactly. The kids whose parents need to read this and act on it have parents that would be so offended by someone else telling them how to raise their kids that they would call the teacher and rage at her, or simply never see it at all because they aren't interested enough to read the stuff their child brings home.

 

[luvmy3]

Another interpretation is that a "happy child" transmits to both home and school since the two are generallly interrelated.

Ah, but look back at the title of the list. Its not "10 tips to help a child be a happy and successful student", Its "10 steps to raising a happy child".
See the difference?

 

[marcyinPA]

Marital advice from my kids' school - no thank you!

I think the schools have plenty of educational issues with which to concern themselves.

My relationship with my husband or any of the other stuff on that list is none of their damn business.

But do you see that your relationship with your spouse DOES affect your kids? And then your kids go to school, and the teachers deal with them, etc. etc. Everything is interconnected, whether you want to believe it or not. If Johnny's dad is cold, aloof, and indifferent to Johnny's mom, and Johnny's mom treats Johnny's dad like a child and doesn't respect him, then how do you think Johnny will treat others (at school and otherwise?). Then it becomes a school problem. Think of John and Kate Gosselin, and the problems that their kids probably have now from witnessing a very unhealthy marriage.

I don't look at it as "marital advice" from the school. I actually look at it as "common sense". Unfortunately, not everyone possesses common sense- in fact, it's getting less and less these days. But, what you do at home affects what your kids do in school. I know it, because I teach. I see it every day, even in my age group!

 

[Acklander]

I agree. I think it's silly to be offended by a list of tips like this. I'm usually one to object to schools overreaching and trying to control children when they aren't in school, but this isn't an attempt to dictate what the kids do in their free time. If it was an assignment to do all these things and keep a log of them, that would be inappropriate. It isn't. It's just a list of suggestions, and parents are free to disregard it if they so choose.

I find the list judgmental and condensending. I would have no problem with them sending home a notice stating that they were hosting a workshop about raising a happy child. Parents could then choose to go or not to go. But sending a list telling me what I should be doing to raise a happy child? Wrong.

Look at it another way. Personally, I'm a parent who does not believe in hitting children. I consider it lazy parenting and I feel that its not necessary to ever strike a child, not a swat - nothing, ever. Studies show that its better not to spank your children. This is how I choose to raise my children. Now, I realize that other parents feel differently about this, and, as long as there is no abuse, that is there right. Correct???
How would those parents feel if the school sent home a flyer with their child outlining 10 ways to discipline you child, without spanking because studies show that those who spank would be better parents if they used alternative punishment??? Wouldn't you feel the school was overstepping the boundaries?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oh, I thought we were talking about taking the list from school and assuming there was sexism in it.

Your grandma's book is different. It is really entertaining, in a "did they really live that way?" kind of way. And I can see how you can compare the two. In fifty years, what would people say when they read that list?

In fact, right now I'm watching The Dick Van **** Show on Netflix. It's really weird some of the issues they deal with. One was about Rob worrying that Laura wanted a job. One was about "the decline of man" by suggesting men do some of the housework.

The show, in general, was progressive (Rob was going to let Laura take the job is she wanted, and did some of the house work), but it's weird that both seemed to be such big problems at the time.

Yes.

Like take #7 for example....the TV and video game thing. What kids are watching TV these days? That is WAY out of date already.

My dd's are 20 and almost 15 and they never watch TV.
They are on the computer, phone, or busy with school stuff.

Future updated #7.
Make sure your kids spend time learning their software programs.

 

[Planogirl]

My initial reaction was to be offended but I guess that I can see why the schools might interfere a bit.

A lot is expected from the schools. Some people want them to monitor the kids even when they are away from the school. The lines are very blurry probably even to the schools.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

See the difference?

No, you just missed my point.

However, we can agree to disagree. This issue just isn't important enough for me to argue back and forth about all day.

 

[palavra]

It wouldn't bother me at all. If teachers could teach kids in a vacuum without their home life coming into play, a parenting handout might not make sense. But if even one parent gets something out of it, why not send it? If you don't like it, throw it away.

 

[Buckalew11]

I don't have a problem with anything on the list. Nor do I have a problem with any school sending home a list like this. Chances are the *good* parents will look at it, toss it or use it for food for thought and the *bad* parents will never even look at it.

I'll never forget when I was speaking with a K teacher one day and she said she was having terrible trouble with a little boy in class. She had a conference with the mom and dad and they talked about bedtime. He had no bedtime--he went to bed when they did any time between 10 and 12.
The teacher suggested a bedtime routine and an early bedtime and, lo and behold, little Johnny was like a different child! So yeah, some things aren't common sense.

 

[Pigeon]

But do you see that your relationship with your spouse DOES affect your kids? And then your kids go to school, and the teachers deal with them, etc. etc. Everything is interconnected, whether you want to believe it or not. If Johnny's dad is cold, aloof, and indifferent to Johnny's mom, and Johnny's mom treats Johnny's dad like a child and doesn't respect him, then how do you think Johnny will treat others (at school and otherwise?). Then it becomes a school problem. Think of John and Kate Gosselin, and the problems that their kids probably have now from witnessing a very unhealthy marriage.

I don't look at it as "marital advice" from the school. I actually look at it as "common sense". Unfortunately, not everyone possesses common sense- in fact, it's getting less and less these days. But, what you do at home affects what your kids do in school. I know it, because I teach. I see it every day, even in my age group!

Of course a child's home life has a huge impact on their educational achievement. That's what makes so many educational "reform" practices be complete nonstarters.

However, it is not the role of the school to dispense marriage advice to parents, period. And does anyone, either administrators or teachers, seriously think that parents are going to alter their marriage practices based on a piece of fluff sent home from the school?

 

[2binak]

The teacher would be getting an "article" back titled, "Don't tell me how to raise a child and I won't tell you how to teach".

If teachers see a child who is struggling, the school can work with that child to find out what the issues are and try to get that child help. There's no reason to step over the teacher/parent boundary by sending an article like that to all parents.

 

[Buckalew11]

I find the list judgmental and condensending. I would have no problem with them sending home a notice stating that they were hosting a workshop about raising a happy child. Parents could then choose to go or not to go. But sending a list telling me what I should be doing to raise a happy child? Wrong.

Look at it another way. Personally, I'm a parent who does not believe in hitting children. I consider it lazy parenting and I feel that its not necessary to ever strike a child, not a swat - nothing, ever. Studies show that its better not to spank your children. This is how I choose to raise my children. Now, I realize that other parents feel differently about this, and, as long as there is no abuse, that is there right. Correct???
How would those parents feel if the school sent home a flyer with their child outlining 10 ways to discipline you child, without spanking because studies show that those who spank would be better parents if they used alternative punishment??? Wouldn't you feel the school was overstepping the boundaries?

No, why would I feel that way?

 

[marcyinPA]

Of course a child's home life has a huge impact on their educational achievement. That's what makes so many educational "reform" practices be complete nonstarters.

However, it is not the role of the school to dispense marriage advice to parents, period. And does anyone, either administrators or teachers, seriously think that parents are going to alter their marriage practices based on a piece of fluff sent home from the school?

Well, my general feeling is if it reaches and helps one person.....

But again, I don't look at this list as anything more than "food for thought", as others have already agreed. I'm a bit surprised at how much these posters read into things and add more details than what was written. But then again, this is the DIS.

 

[Acklander]

Of course a child's home life has a huge impact on their educational achievement. That's what makes so many educational "reform" practices be complete nonstarters.

However, it is not the role of the school to dispense marriage advice to parents, period. And does anyone, either administrators or teachers, seriously think that parents are going to alter their marriage practices based on a piece of fluff sent home from the school?

Exactly - little Johnny was raised in a home with an alcoholic dad, who beat his mom when he wasn't out shacking up with his girlfriend. Then he noticed the flyer from school, he changed his ways, and everyone lived happily ever after.

If problems are so bad at home that it's affecting a students school life, a little less tv time isn't going to make a difference.

 

[PeterPan09]

Oh, I thought we were talking about taking the list from school and assuming there was sexism in it.

Your grandma's book is different. It is really entertaining, in a "did they really live that way?" kind of way. And I can see how you can compare the two. In fifty years, what would people say when they read that list?

In fact, right now I'm watching The Dick Van (censored last name that's the same word as a bad name for lesbians because DISBoards can't look at things in context) Show on Netflix. It's really weird some of the issues they deal with. One was about Rob worrying that Laura wanted a job. One was about "the decline of man" by suggesting men do some of the housework.

The show, in general, was progressive (Rob was going to let Laura take the job is she wanted, and did some of the house work), but it's weird that both seemed to be such big problems at the time.

I thought the same thing and I wasn't getting the same vibe out of the original letter.

 

[Acklander]

No, why would I feel that way?

Because it's undermining someones parenting style, in front of their child.