do sibs always need to BOTH get something at the same time?

[sz9144]

I am seconding guessing myself and feeling like a bad mom-

I have two 7 yr old boys. One is very slender, and has many bathing suits that fit (he still fits into his suit from 3 yrs ago!). My other son is husky and we have found so far this summer his old suits just were not accommodating his girth.

So yesterday at walmart I bought one new suit for my husky son, and did not buy one for my other son as he has plenty. so of course my slender son throws a fit since he did not get a new suit also.

so my question is- was I wrong? I don't believe that I have to get something for one just because the other is getting something.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I don't think you were wrong. One needed a new suit and the didn't. Just calmly tell your thinner child that whne he needs something his brother does not need he will get it and the brother won't. You are wathcing out for both of their needs It is very common for only one of my kids to get a new item (granted they are 2 years apart not the same age as are yours).

 

[mumom95]

For something that is a need, no, I don't think because one gets one, the other has to also. My kids are 18 months apart (boy and girl). When one of them needs something like clothes or something for school or sports, we will go out and get what's needed for the one. If the other doesn't need something, then they usually don't get something.

Now, if you were out and decided to buy the one son an ice cream cone and didn't buy the other one an ice cream cone, then yeah, I'd think that was wrong. Or if one saw something he wanted but didn't need and you bought it for him, but refused to buy something for the other, than I think that is wrong also.

 

[Allison]

You are absolutely not wrong and it's a good life lesson for your kids.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That would be the definition of spoiled (if you ran out and got him a new suit after he threw a fit).

You did good mom. Sit him down and give him a life lesson on needs, wants, etc. And if you have had this conversation many times, then have it again.

It does sink at some point.

 

[olena]

You are absolutely not wrong and it's a good life lesson for your kids.

Nip it in the bud while it's a bathing suit. Later on, who knows?

 

[mjkacmom]

There are times when I end up coming home from a shopping trip with something for 4 out of my 5 - whoever NEEDS something, gets something. Heck, my younger kids live in hand-me-downs! Dd8 and dd6 don't even own their own underwear - they both wear a size 6, so they share. We were just at my parents' home, and ds11 got a soda, no one else. Life is not fair, but things tend to even out in the long run. I can't imagine being 100% to all 5 kids.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

Definitely don't need to go tit for tat in things like that, but- if it ends up your bigger son frequently needs new clothes, I would get the smaller one something too once in a while. "Needs" is an important life lesson for sure, but when you're 7 and you're brother's getting new stuff all the time, it's hard to bear. Maybe down the road a bit (so as not to be caving to the fit ), you might decide the smaller one "needs" a new sweatshirt or something, even if he really doesn't, wink wink.

 

[luvmy3]

It just happens to be that my kids always seem to need something whether its new socks, bathing suits, pants, gloves....... Most of the time I do my *need* shopping all at once so they all do wind up with something. If only one of them needs something I wouldn't buy something for the other two just for the sake of being fair. My kids know that they don't get stuff just because somebody else does, and that includes their siblings.

 

[mom2rb]

I had to buy clothes for my twins last week. They both needed shorts, so they each got shorts. The taller one need jeans, so he got two pairs. The younger one doesn't need any, so he didn't get any.