Do people check up on you?

[OctMtnWoods]

When you leave someones house and drive home, do they call you to make sure you arrived home?

My mother does this to me. Only me. Not my other sibling. No other relatives do this to me or to any one else I know. I'm very independent. Quite capable of driving long distances in all types of weather. Yet, she feels the need to make sure I'm where I'm supposed to be. She even calls me to find out if I've left yet when I'm heading her way.

I'm in my 40s. She's always been a budinski. She used to listen in on my phone calls growing up. I'm really sick of this. I want to be able to leave her house, stop somewhere and do whatever I want without having to tell her. Its none of her business. She wants to know where and why I'm stopping.

Sorry for the vent. I just arrived home to a message on the machine wondering why I wasn't home yet after leaving her house. grrrrrr She does it to me when I'm with DH also.

 

[BabyPiglet]

Oh, yes. My mother and grandmother do this to me. I guess they worry about me a lot. I just suck it up each time and tell them that I'm fine. There's really nothing I can do.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

My Mom does this to us too. I don't think it's a big deal. She's a Mom. She worries. I am a Mom and I can't imagine that one day I will just stop being concerned or caring about my children. I don't think she is being a buttinski. I think she loves you and cares about you. Is it really so hard to just tell her that you are stopping at a store? I don't know, I would rather my Mom cared about me like she does than not give a rats behind like other people's Moms. JMHO.

 

[onelilspark]

My Mom calls me all the time. I'm also 23 and live on my own If I take longer than an hour to call her back I start getting panicked messages, "where are you?? why haven't you called me back?? are you okay??" My Dad told me once that they'll worry about me until they "marry me off." Gee, thanks Dad. But I guess it's nice to have them worry than not care at all...

 

[OctMtnWoods]

My Mom does this to us too. I don't think it's a big deal. She's a Mom. She worries. I am a Mom and I can't imagine that one day I will just stop being concerned or caring about my children. I don't think she is being a buttinski. I think she loves you and cares about you. Is it really so hard to just tell her that you are stopping at a store? I don't know, I would rather my Mom cared about me like she does than not give a rats behind like other people's Moms. JMHO.

The history of listening in on phone calls (on a 2nd line) and other events, yes, makes her a buttinski in my book. She's not happy with "I'm stopping at the store." She's very pushy in her questioning until she gets the answers she wants. I'm not trying to hide anything, but the more she does it, the less I offer for info. At some point in my adult married life, I would expect a little privacy if I don't want to share something -- expecially since I wasn't given any as child in her house.

 

[JessicaR]

Are you the baby?

 

[monkey68]

My mom makes me call her when I get to wherever I am supposed to go. My apartment is about an hour away from their place, so I have to call soon as I get home. If I'm leaving my parent's house in the morning, after my mom has left for work, I have to call my dad and my grandparents (who live in the apartment below). Some of my friends make me call when I leave their house and get to my house.

 

[monkeyboy]

Yes..it's court mandated

 

[elizke]

My MIL calls DH (51) at work on bad weather days to make sure he got there.

 

[tasha99]

Yes, and if I don't answer my phone, she will drive over to see if I'm okay.

 

[drivencrazy]

Just be thankful that she loves you and cares about you!!

That being said... I am the one calling everyone asking if they made it home... just the other night a friend of ours was over and it got late, she drove home and laughed when I called to make sure she made it home safe!

Now, if you aren't to far down the road and it's nice out I won't call. Or if you are with others, but if you are by yourself know that I will soon be calling!

My mom... she will call and check if I am alone with the kids, but if the hubby is with me she usually won't call and check.

 

[OctMtnWoods]

Are you the baby?

Yes.

Yes..it's court mandated

Can I request the law be changed?

Just be thankful that she loves you and cares about you!!

I'll inform my brother he's not loved.

 

[C.Ann]

My Mom does this to us too. I don't think it's a big deal. She's a Mom. She worries. I am a Mom and I can't imagine that one day I will just stop being concerned or caring about my children. I don't think she is being a buttinski. I think she loves you and cares about you. Is it really so hard to just tell her that you are stopping at a store? I don't know, I would rather my Mom cared about me like she does than not give a rats behind like other people's Moms. JMHO.

-------------------

I agree.. I do it to my DD (36) and she does it to me (I'm 59).. It's just a matter of being concerned about each others safety.. When I make the move from here (DD's) up to the lake in early spring, for the entire 7months or so that I'm there, she calls to check on me every single day.. If I know that she's sick again, I call her every day..

I don't find any of it to be "odd" or "annoying"..

 

[Mouse House Mama]

The history of listening in on phone calls (on a 2nd line) and other events, yes, makes her a buttinski in my book. She's not happy with "I'm stopping at the store." She's very pushy in her questioning until she gets the answers she wants. I'm not trying to hide anything, but the more she does it, the less I offer for info. At some point in my adult married life, I would expect a little privacy if I don't want to share something -- expecially since I wasn't given any as child in her house.

You said that you are 41. Are not over stuff from your childhood yet? Maybe she didn't know how to talk to you so she listened to your phonecalls. Who knows? Everyone's parents did silly things. I guess I don't see the big deal with calling her. I think you have other issues that you haven't gotten over and this is just one thing that you are able to pinpoint. I am not flaming but my Mom used to pick up the phone too when I was younger. We laugh about it now. I talk to my Mom everyday. Usually more than once. I am grateful that I am able to do that.

 

[doxdogy]

DD is 30 and I still ask her to call and let me know she made it home okay. When my parents lived on side of town and we lived on there, my mother would ask me to call when we got home. I didn't think anything about it, I just called.

My dad knew how much I hated driving in the rain. One day after a particularly bad storm, he called the house to make sure I made it home okay.

Both my parents are gone and I would give anything to have one of them tell me to call when you get home.

 

[JessicaR]

Are you the baby?

Yes.

Not much will ever change, I think. My mom is the same way with my sister. I guess you should just resign yourself to the fact that you will always be her baby. My sister will be 40 soon and truly my mother is the same way that you described with her.

 

[disney1990]

My daughters (24 and 31) call me when they "get there". They know I worry.

 

[OctMtnWoods]

You said that you are 41. Are not over stuff from your childhood yet? Maybe she didn't know how to talk to you so she listened to your phonecalls. Who knows? Everyone's parents did silly things. I guess I don't see the big deal with calling her. I think you have other issues that you haven't gotten over and this is just one thing that you are able to pinpoint. I am not flaming but my Mom used to pick up the phone too when I was younger. We laugh about it now. I talk to my Mom everyday. Usually more than once. I am grateful that I am able to do that.

Thank you for physc consult. Trust me on this. There is way more than I need to go into here. My brother, father, and I just try to avoid her at all costs. Having to spend any amount of time with her very unpleasant for all of us and some others. You aren't going to understand, so don't try. And don't try to analyze my relationship with her. OK?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Thank you for physc consult. Trust me on this. There is way more than I need to go into here. My brother, father, and I just try to avoid her at all costs. Having to spend any amount of time with her very unpleasant for all of us and some others. You aren't going to understand, so don't try. And don't try to analyze my relationship with her. OK?

I wasn't trying to be mean or analyze you. You mentioned that you were 41 and mad at her because she used to pick up the phone on you when you were a kid.
Since you pointed out that you avoid her at all costs, then just tell her it is none of her business when she asks you something you don't want to tell her.

 

[OctMtnWoods]

No idea why I'm still posting this since this isn't even what the thread was about. She listened in on my phone calls up until the time I married and moved out of the house in my mid 20's. Even with my fiance. She's the one with the problem. Not me. No one deserves an interrigation about who they are talking to, where they are or have been, or why aren't you home....as an adult. No one. Youngest daughter or not. This is why we avoid her.

Now, maybe we can get back to the original topic. Do you have people who check up on you? I get the are you home safe stuff, but its beyond that.