do I take DD to this party or not?

[Iluvmickeymouse!]

DD6 got invited to a birthday party to a little girl in her class. I am really hesitant about rsvp'ing to this one. DD6 has come home from school before saying how this little girl says things like..I don't like you, I don't like ____, I hate ____...fill in the blanks with whatever you want because that is all she ever says to my DD. She is not one of DD's regular friends that she plays with, in fact the only time I hear about her is when she says those things to DD. So, DD came home the other night with a bday party invite from her. Come to find out the whole class recieved invites. (ok...I have a little secret..my mom is a K teacher right next door to DD's class, so I hear things most others would not! ) This little girl also says these things to all the other kids and therefore usually has no one to play with. Of course, DD wants to go. Oh, and it is at our local skate arena for 4 HOURS this sunday!! Our skate arena is not the highest quality place you will find in town to put it nicely.

I need to rsvp back today. Do I take her?? Why am I being so hesitant about letting her go? Why would I want to spend money on a little girl who is always saying nasty things to my DD?? HELP....what would you do?????

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Yes I would take her. First of all you said you dd really wants to go. It is only a 6 year old's birthday party they don't have to be best friends for life.

Also maybe this little girl has just doesn't know how to make friends. The birthday party might be a good thing. Also what's the worse thing that could happend - you'll be there too right?

 

[glitterkittyy]

It makes me kind of sad because it makes me think the little girl is surrounded by so much negativity that it's all she knows.

If your daughter wants to go, I'd let her go to the party...maybe not for the full 4 hours but for some of it. Maybe some kindness, some friends, and a positive attitude could rub off on her and do some good? Wishful thinking, I know, but this just makes me sad for the child.

 

[brockash]

I would let her go. If your dd wants to go, then I'd let her, especially when you say the b-day girl says mean things to everyone (as in she's not singling out your dd.) It's obviously still really sad that this girl does this, but it sounds like she may have issues going on, and it can't be hurting your dd too much if she still wants to go. If you're uncomfortable with the skating rink for 4 hrs., you could always stay with her, or maybe say she can only go for half the time, if it makes you feel any better. As far as the present is concerned, I would only be getting an average present...I'll admit that depending on how well we know, and like, the b-day kid, I may spend a little more than on someone we don't know that well ect.

 

[hegsag]

I would take my dd if she wanted to attend. However, 4 hours is a LONG time...I'm probably stay for 2hours or so...

 

[JerseyJanice]

I say you should listen to your motherly instincts. If you're uncomfortable about the party, then you shouldn't let her go.

I do agree with a PP, though, that 6 year-olds rarely become BFFs. It's pretty common around here for kindergarten and first grade kids to invite the whole class to their birthday parties too.

 

[MinnieTink]

If it were me, I would take her and stay. You can keep an eye on things. But, good grief!! 4 hours?!?!?

 

[Iluvmickeymouse!]

Thank you for your help! I decided to go ahead and call the mom. I told her that we would come, but we wouldn't be able to stay for the entire time. She then tells me that her daughter has been sick all week, today was her first day back! If she is sick tomorrow she will send a note home canceling the party. Geesh, I would hope so!

By inviting the whole class, I wonder if the mom knows that her dd does not have any friends and this is her way of trying to get her some.

 

[piglet too]

By inviting the whole class, I wonder if the mom knows that her dd does not have any friends and this is her way of trying to get her some.

It also may have been easier to invite the whole class as to avoid hurt feelings. I know at my kid's schools, invites must go out to all boy/girls or the whole class if they are handed out in school. Maybe there were certain boys and girls the birthday girl wanted to invite, there by creating a need to invite the whole class.

 

[C.Ann]

I would take her - and stay.. If she's having a great time and things are going well, I would stay the whole 4 hours.. If not, I would stay a couple of hours..

 

[DisneyMomx7]

In our school in order to give out invitations during school you have to invite either the whole class or all the girls (or boys).

Do you think you might be taking it a little too personally with the little girl and you dd? I mean 6 year old girls can be bff and not like each other at all the next day, and back and forth.

If the little girl really doesn't have any friends I would feel sorry for her.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Yes I would take her. First of all you said you dd really wants to go. It is only a 6 year old's birthday party they don't have to be best friends for life.

Also maybe this little girl has just doesn't know how to make friends. The birthday party might be a good thing. Also what's the worse thing that could happend - you'll be there too right?

I agree.

 

[justhat]

Most kids in our school invite the whole class too, so I don't find that strange at all. You have to mail invitations, none can come home through backpacks, and while you don't have to invite the whole class, most people just do. You are supposed to have some kind of division though, like all girls, all boys, all kids, all 3yos (or whatever age your child is), etc.

I'm glad you're letting her go, as I think it will be fun for your daughter, even if she's not great friends with this kid. Presumably other kids will be there with whom she can play, and the birthday girl will be thrilled to have a bunch of kids.

 

[descovy]

I wouldn't go. I have never been a fan of the whole "invite the class" kind of party... anyways. When we get an invite, I consider... "do I hear my kid talking about this child" if it's someone I never hear about in usual conversation... or worse someone who doesn't get along... it is an automatic no.

In my world, 3 elementary kids, all in a sport, and in girl scouts, we don't have a *ton* of free family time on the weekend as it is. Why would I waste it on a 4 hour party (and gift!) for a non-friend.

For that matter, my 3 girls have never invited the "whole class" to any of their birthdays. Just a few close friends. Which, I'm sure means *someone*
was left out. Kids are still friends...

Again, with 3 kids I'd go broke if we went to each and every "class party" one of the kids was invited to. My weekends are too short for that.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

DD6 got invited to a birthday party to a little girl in her class. I am really hesitant about rsvp'ing to this one. DD6 has come home from school before saying how this little girl says things like..I don't like you, I don't like ____, I hate ____...fill in the blanks with whatever you want because that is all she ever says to my DD. She is not one of DD's regular friends that she plays with, in fact the only time I hear about her is when she says those things to DD. So, DD came home the other night with a bday party invite from her. Come to find out the whole class recieved invites. (ok...I have a little secret..my mom is a K teacher right next door to DD's class, so I hear things most others would not! ) This little girl also says these things to all the other kids and therefore usually has no one to play with. Of course, DD wants to go. Oh, and it is at our local skate arena for 4 HOURS this sunday!! Our skate arena is not the highest quality place you will find in town to put it nicely.

I need to rsvp back today. Do I take her?? Why am I being so hesitant about letting her go? Why would I want to spend money on a little girl who is always saying nasty things to my DD?? HELP....what would you do?????

 

[KAMKIM]

I wouldn't go. I have never been a fan of the whole "invite the class" kind of party... anyways. When we get an invite, I consider... "do I hear my kid talking about this child" if it's someone I never hear about in usual conversation... or worse someone who doesn't get along... it is an automatic no.

In my world, 3 elementary kids, all in a sport, and in girl scouts, we don't have a *ton* of free family time on the weekend as it is. Why would I waste it on a 4 hour party (and gift!) for a non-friend.

For that matter, my 3 girls have never invited the "whole class" to any of their birthdays. Just a few close friends. Which, I'm sure means *someone*
was left out. Kids are still friends...

Again, with 3 kids I'd go broke if we went to each and every "class party" one of the kids was invited to. My weekends are too short for that.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

A birthday party might be a good way to become friends though.

 

[KAMKIM]

Thank you for your help! I decided to go ahead and call the mom. I told her that we would come, but we wouldn't be able to stay for the entire time. She then tells me that her daughter has been sick all week, today was her first day back! If she is sick tomorrow she will send a note home canceling the party. Geesh, I would hope so!

By inviting the whole class, I wonder if the mom knows that her dd does not have any friends and this is her way of trying to get her some.

Probably is, I think its great that you are letting her go if the party is still on. I wouldn't write this little girl off as not being friend material just yet, you would probably be surprised what other kids may go home and say your DD is saying at school when you are not around.

 

[Rora]

I would take my dd if she wanted to attend. However, 4 hours is a LONG time...I'm probably stay for 2hours or so...

I agree! But if your instincts are telling you otherwise, don't take her. Good luck OP!

 

[Crystal0608]

I probably wouldn't take my dd (9). I have a similar situation this weekend. My dd's classmate and "BFF" invited her to a birthday sleepover, then proceeds to hurt her feelings by saying her mom said she could only have 3 girls over and one had said no, so she was her substitute which was rude. Now, this girl came to my dd's party, invited herself to my ds's party, plus sleepovers at my house when she calls and asks to stay a lot so it hurt my dd's feelings when she said that to her. So, I had dd tell her she couldn't come. Well, she told dd now only one girl was coming. If she hadn't been mean to dd, then she would have attended.

 

[Iluvmickeymouse!]

We do have the same rule about invitations in our school also, either all girls/boys whole class etc. I was a little surprised about her inviting the whole class though instead of just the girls.

You are also right as to I do not know what other kids are saying about DD when they go home. It better be good things !!! (I can dream right!!)

I honestly do hope that this is a way for her to "get along" better with others. It will be interesting to see how things go, to see how she interacts with her classmates (the bday girl, not my dd!). I think we will go right away and stay for an hour or so. I cannot see staying longer than that!! We honestly do have something else going on that afternoon that when I told DD about it she was super ecstatic, so now to try and do both things!!!

Oh, and I did ask DD tonight who the bday girl plays with in school, she named two kids, and said that's it, no one else.

Thanks again for all your help and responses, it is interesting to see everyone's take on it!!

 

[Mickey's Minion]

By inviting the whole class, I wonder if the mom knows that her dd does not have any friends and this is her way of trying to get her some.

It is also the norm around here to invite whole class or at least all the boys or all the girls in the younger grades.

In fact, it is the kids who have the parties with just two or three classmates that incur some of this same kind of gossip amongst some of the parents, that the child can't invite all the children in their class because they are so unpopular. Either way, it is vicious gossip about 6 or 7 year olds.

I think you are reading and assuming way too much into why children were invited.

Glad you are letting your daughter go and kudos to the Mom for considering canceling the party even though the child is well enough to be back in school. That is quite thoughtful of the mom for the other children.

Oh, and I did ask DD tonight who the bday girl plays with in school, she named two kids, and said that's it, no one else.

Also not unusual. Actually, this is more common in the younger grades than the kid that is the party girl and flits around playing with everyone.