Do I need a lawyer?

[Leajess99]

I live 12 miles from my Mom-there are 3 school districts in that 12 miles

Did the judgement say both parents have to live in the same school district? Cant imagine thta at all

10 miles is nothing-not worth the expense od fighting, IMO

I think the op is jealous that they are getting a new home and wants to "stick it to her"

Wow that is quite harsh. How far do you drive your child to school daily?? Just curious because that "10 miles is nothing" actually adds up. Is the mother going to be willing to put those extra miles on her car since it is probably out of the school district (we have 4 elementary schools within 3 miles and even more within 10 miles so the district is different. Even my middle schooler is just 2.5 miles from a middle school yet has to go to the one 12 miles away because that is our district). I put 24 miles a day on my car because my daughter goes to school out of district for medical reasons. It adds up in wear and tear as well as gas costs.

He has a legal court order so he has every right to protect himself. You have no idea what kind of house this man has. Heck I have a court order that states neither parent can have pictures of the kids on a social networking site. If a resident stipulation is in the court order than it is most likely for both parents.

 

[brockash]

Why do you care if your ex lives 10 miles outside of the city? I'm assuming they're still taking your ds to the same school? If not, and it's going to require your child to change schools, then I understand, but if they're still taking your son to the same school ect., why does it bother you?

May I also just add, that anything you do to "stick it to" your ex or to try to hurt your ex, is ALWAYS going to hurt your child more, so....why don't you grow up and put your child's best interest in front of your own? Crazy idea right? I just don't understand parents that would find joy in hurting or making life more complicated for THEIR child's other parent. Get over yourself and act like the good parent you're supposed to be.

 

[mom2maggie]

We have at least 5 elementary schools within a 10 mile radius in my town, so it could definitely become a issue. Good luck when you contact your lawyer - I hope everyone can see eye to eye!

 

[Leajess99]

Why do you care if your ex lives 10 miles outside of the city? I'm assuming they're still taking your ds to the same school? If not, and it's going to require your child to change schools, then I understand, but if they're still taking your son to the same school ect., why does it bother you?

May I also just add, that anything you do to "stick it to" your ex or to try to hurt your ex, is ALWAYS going to hurt your child more, so....why don't you grow up and put your child's best interest in front of your own? Crazy idea right? I just don't understand parents that would find joy in hurting or making life more complicated for THEIR child's other parent. Get over yourself and act like the good parent you're supposed to be.

Why the heck is he getting bashed?? He found out from his child NOT his ex. Why is it that a father trying to keep in his child's life and doing what he is supposed to for his child the bad guy?? Is it because he is a guy??

OMG, some people just kill me. She is the one that is violating their custody agreement by relocating so why is he the bad guy??

 

[Swan4Me]

I need a little help. My lawyers office is closed already for the holiday, as is the courthouse. In 2006 my ex and I went to court over custody of my son. In 2007, the judge made his ruling on the case. It included a full 50/50 split to time with my son. I have him 26 weeks per year, as does she. I pay a very small amount of child support and all his medical. One of the stipulation to joint custody was that we both maintained residence within the town that he went to school in. Its a town of about 30,000 so it's not overly tiny.

My son came over today to say that she bought a house out of town, about 10 miles away. Which is a violation of the court judgement. She (and her husband) have been terrible through all of this, and I want to protect my rights as well as my sons (and sticking it to her wouldn't be bad either).

.

Why -look at above

 

[jujube]

OP, talk to your lawyer. Apparently, some of the posters have no clue about the law. A legal contract is binding. If you let this slide, she may try some more shenanigans later.
Even a heads up from your lawyer to hers will put her on notice that you will not tolerate any bull.

 

[MSSANDRA]

We have sorta been there. It is very important that any amendments to the agreement go through the court system. It could well be a good thing for your child if they are getting a larger home or a safer neighborhood. Even if this is true, you need to go through the court system because if you agree to allow this, you are both violating the court agreement. We refuse to budge on any court ordered issue without checking with out lawyer, even if we feel it is harmless.That protects us all. Now I would urge you to talk to your ex instead of your child and get the facts and decide IF you think this is a good choice for your child, but still if the answer is yes, call your lawyer and go through the courts.

Sticking it to your ex, hurts your child.

 

[wenrob]

Why the heck is he getting bashed?? He found out from his child NOT his ex. Why is it that a father trying to keep in his child's life and doing what he is supposed to for his child the bad guy?? Is it because he is a guy??

OMG, some people just kill me. She is the one that is violating their custody agreement by relocating so why is he the bad guy??

Because he clearing states he, "wouldn't mind sticking it to the ex."

I'm not ignorant of the law and I'm a child of divorce. (raised by my Dad for the record) I understand that it needs to be legally settled but why a call to a lawyer? Why not first confirm with the Ex that this is actually happening? As crazy as it sounds maybe she hasn't gotten the chance to tell him yet and had every intention of asking for it to be added to their agreement. I can't imagine she doesn't know she'd have to have this cleared. But starting a war over ten miles just doesn't seem the way to go about things IMHO.

 

[2forMe]

Why the heck is he getting bashed?? He found out from his child NOT his ex. Why is it that a father trying to keep in his child's life and doing what he is supposed to for his child the bad guy?? Is it because he is a guy??
OMG, some people just kill me. She is the one that is violating their custody agreement by relocating so why is he the bad guy??

No because he is talking about sticking it to her! that is why. No one is saying that he should not have the agreement changed..but to find out more info and to act accordingly.. which is not trying to stick it to her!

 

[hereyago]

Been there, got a t shirt.

Let me address the "sticking it to her" part first and I will tell you what I would tell a woman, love your kid more then you hate your ex. if she is a she devil trust me your kid will find out on his own. if she and the new husband act a fool,let them,give her her own rope to hang herself with if that is the case.

As for the lawyer. I think as others have said, you need to find out what's going on from her. from there you can talk to your lawyer and their input.

The agreement is legal and binding, if she wants to move-and it's out of the school district to which you both agreed to stay within, then the court can take it from there.

 

[Mama Who]

I need a little help. My lawyers office is closed already for the holiday, as is the courthouse. In 2006 my ex and I went to court over custody of my son. In 2007, the judge made his ruling on the case. It included a full 50/50 split to time with my son. I have him 26 weeks per year, as does she. I pay a very small amount of child support and all his medical. One of the stipulation to joint custody was that we both maintained residence within the town that he went to school in. Its a town of about 30,000 so it's not overly tiny.

My son came over today to say that she bought a house out of town, about 10 miles away. Which is a violation of the court judgement. She (and her husband) have been terrible through all of this, and I want to protect my rights as well as my sons (and sticking it to her wouldn't be bad either).

How do I proceed if she is in contempt of court? Do I need to have my lawyer involved or do I simply just go to the courthouse and file one on my own?

She doesn't close on the house until February, so I am just getting all the info and knowledge before that point.

Okay, to start with, you will look like the hind end of a horse if you try to tell a judge she's in contempt. She's not. She did not agree that she could not move, she agreed that not moving was a condition of having this custody agreement. No custody agreement prevents a parent from moving, most it does is strip them of custody if they do. SHE is not restricted from moving. She might be restricted from moving the kids.

If her moving creates a problem with the current custody agreement, now is the time to get it revised. That is within your rights but expect to be asked to demonstrate how a 10 mile move creates a hardship on the kids or you. Be prepared to compromise- your transportation burden should not go up and the kids should not change schools- but if the ex is willing to shoulder all extra effort, that ought to be enough. If you try to create a fight out of something that isn't hurting you the judge is not going to be impressed. I promise you, "sticking it to the ex" is not something they have a lot of patience for.

 

[arthur06]

OP here....

Thanks for all the comments. Some I agree with, some I don't, but this is exactly why I posted this. I wanted to hear other thoughts and opinions and take the weekend to ponder what I want to do.

I have a court document that clearly states that "both parents must maintain residence within the xxxxx xxxx School District". I don't care at all that she moved (not jealous in any way). But in 2009, I asked her if I could move to a town that I graduated from and where my wife is from that is about 10 miles south of where we live. She clearly stated that it was a NO and she would never reconsider. She has now moved east 10 miles to another school district. I would love to live in my hometown area. Why should she get to move and I have to stay put. If I move, then its a problem, because we would both me out of the school district then.

I live 2 blocks from his current school and he can easily walk everyday.

I have him from Friday to the following Friday every other week. 7 consecutive nights, then 7 for his mom and so on...

We were never married. So it was not a divorce settlement, only a child custody issue.

 

[arthur06]

I will reply to a couple of the comments as well...

I live 12 miles from my Mom-there are 3 school districts in that 12 miles

Did the judgement say both parents have to live in the same school district? Cant imagine thta at all

10 miles is nothing-not worth the expense od fighting, IMO

I think the op is jealous that they are getting a new home and wants to "stick it to her"

I am not jealous of her getting a new house. But with the court order written in the language that it is, I have not pursued a new home for myself. As I stated in a previous post, I would like to move as well. My hometown is 10 miles south of where I currently live right now. I am 32 years old. My wife and I have been saving and paying on our current mortgage with the intent to build a house in my hometown in the near future.

Why do you care if your ex lives 10 miles outside of the city? I'm assuming they're still taking your ds to the same school? If not, and it's going to require your child to change schools, then I understand, but if they're still taking your son to the same school ect., why does it bother you?

May I also just add, that anything you do to "stick it to" your ex or to try to hurt your ex, is ALWAYS going to hurt your child more, so....why don't you grow up and put your child's best interest in front of your own? Crazy idea right? I just don't understand parents that would find joy in hurting or making life more complicated for THEIR child's other parent. Get over yourself and act like the good parent you're supposed to be.

I appreciate the statement on my parenting ability, when you don't even know me. I have around 900 pages of court documents, petitions, subpoenas, bills and any other information that my lawyer has sent me. I have sworn testimony from his preschool teacher (who was the teacher the previous year from the court date) that describes me as the "active and involved" parent in my son's educational career.

Ask my son sometime about his adventures in life. Most involved the activities that I provided him. We have traveled to Florida a few times, South Dakota, Chicago, Wisconsin Dells, California, Washington DC, we take trips every year to Vikings/Twins and occasionally Cubs games.

Ask who has a 529 plan set up for his college future?

I think his mom is a pretty good mom to him, but her husband is most of the problem. He is a bigger guy then me. There was one occasion where my son left his snow boots at my house. I put them in a grocery sack and was taking them over to his mom's house so he had them (I called and no answer). When I got there, her husband came out and threatened to kick my a**. Told me that I wasn't allowed to even drive down there street. He is very quick to threaten violence if he is around me, and it doesn't matter to him if my son is within site or earshot.

 

[Jey12]

The fact you tried to move out of district and she said no does change things a bit. I would first try to get more information in a decent way from your ex and see if what you have heard is indeed correct. If the information is correct or if having a civil conversation with your ex about this topic is not possible contact your lawyer when their offices are open after the holiday. Let them know what's going on and let the lawyer take it from there. Now might be a good time to revisit your desire to move as well and make changes to the custody agreement? I don't know if your son could stay in his current school or not? That probably would all depend on how the school district handles out of district kids. In my area staying in the same school district would restrict you to a 3 mile radius, and probably not something that would be a part of a custody arrangement. Since your city is smaller and seems to only have one school district the 10 mile difference from either parent might not be an issue? Either way I would make sure everything is documented and in writing in the courts. For now have a wonderful holiday weekend!

 

[jpeppers]

I don't blame people for the initial reaction to your post, I 1st thought you were being very petty but after reading the 2nd post I probably would fight the move. My ex moved my daughter 43 miles away and I could have fought it but she was put in a better situation so I let it go, sounds like you are fighting a bigger battle. I feel sorry for people who can't get along witht here exes, I am so happy I do.....it must be hell!

 

[Swan4Me]

The fact you tried to move out of district and she said no does change things a bit. I would first try to get more information in a decent way from your ex and see if what you have heard is indeed correct. If the information is correct or if having a civil conversation with your ex about this topic is not possible contact your lawyer when their offices are open after the holiday. Let them know what's going on and let the lawyer take it from there. Now might be a good time to revisit your desire to move as well and make changes to the custody agreement? I don't know if your son could stay in his current school or not? That probably would all depend on how the school district handles out of district kids. In my area staying in the same school district would restrict you to a 3 mile radius, and probably not something that would be a part of a custody arrangement. Since your city is smaller and seems to only have one school district the 10 mile difference from either parent might not be an issue? Either way I would make sure everything is documented and in writing in the courts. For now have a wonderful holiday weekend!

I agree-now that you have given all the facts-change the custody agreement so that you can move also-it will mean one parent will have a bigger commute driving the son to school, tho

 

[mjkacmom]

We have at least 5 elementary schools within a 10 mile radius in my town, so it could definitely become a issue. Good luck when you contact your lawyer - I hope everyone can see eye to eye!

I live in a town about the same population as the OP, and we have 5 elementary schools within 3 miles. 10 miles out, and not only are you way out of our district, but it could mean at least a half hour drive, if not more. Driving 10 miles to school would be a real PITA here.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I live in a town about the same population as the OP, and we have 5 elementary schools within 3 miles. 10 miles out, and not only are you way out of our district, but it could mean at least a half hour drive, if not more. Driving 10 miles to school would be a real PITA here.

I live in a town roughly twice the size of the OP (approx 55K). In towns of this size it is not uncommon for people to live out of town and acutually some of the most highly desireable areas are out of town. When I divorced the ruling stated that we must both reside in the same county. If it stated the same school district we would have had to live within a 1/2-2 miles of each other. My DD never went to school in her district but I did realize since I was the one that moved out of town (8 miles from town and 15 miles from her school) I would do most of the driving (this was not only for ex but for school, sports, and friends) and I have been doing this for 9 years. I think that the ruling about the same school district was to ensure that your child would remain in the same school. OP before you get a lawyer and make this a huge ordeal, that your child WILL be in the middle of, ask your ex if she is planning or keeping your child at the same school (permissive transfers are common and granted esp if the child is already enrolled) and if so DROP IT. But OP if you start with a lawyer and go to court I will guarantee your ex would say something to your child and even if she doesn't child will realize dad is doing this for dad not for the best interest of the child (even if it is years from now). And FWIW if you go to court over every little thing a judge will take note and when and if something of importance comes up, you won't be taken as seriously.

 

[ceecee]

You want to take her to court over 10 miles? Really?

Yeah, not worth it! She could be moving him 10 states away. Be gratefull. A friend of mine had his ex move to another state (they had the same agreement) she couldn't find work so she moved and he ended up buying a plane ticket if he wanted to see his son. 10 miles is nothing.

 

[starry_solo]

1. Maintaining a residence is not the same as living in it.
2. Has she sold the old/current home? It doesn't sound like it (only that she bought a new one).
3. It would be better if you actually provided the language from the court order (rather than a summary); then the posters could help.
4. Is 10 miles really "out of town"?