Do I let this go or make a phone call? (teacher related)

[MELSMICE]

I'm not bashing teachers, I'm just looking for some thoughts on a situation with my DD.

DD is a junior, taking chemistry with Mrs. Smith, who is new to the school.

Comes home first day & says Mrs. Smith came from a city school & I think she might be a little tough. No big deal. A week later I ask how things are going with Mrs. Smith. Going good; she's OK; not DD's favorite, but not as tough as she thought. Seems to run hot & cold with her personality.

About 3 weeks in to school DD asks when one of the labs is due. Mrs. Smith says Friday. On Wednesday Mrs. Smith asks for the lab. DD reminds her she said it was due on Friday. Mrs. Smith says, "Oh well, my mistake, it was due today". DD turns it in & gets points off for it not being complete. DD is upset, but I told her when she asks a question maybe just ask if Mrs. Smith can write it down or sign a planner or something so it's confirmed in writing. Do better on next lab & get it done sooner than planned. Next day, however, Mrs. Smith apologizes & gives DD back the points she lost for incomplete work. Thank you Mrs. Smith.

Following week is open house. A very young Mrs. Smith proceeds to make this statement to parents, "When I went to college I could immediately tell which kids came from private school & who came from public. I am here to raise the bar for your public school children." What the heck does that mean? Why do you say that to parents who have chosen to send their children to a good public school? OK...........whatever. Let me just say the teacher was extremely immature & did not win us over with her attitude.

Fast forward to today. DD has been staying after for extra help in Chem. Wasn't going to stay after today because Mrs. Smith went off on the class. No one has above an 80 average & that "disgusts her". She told them that the Atomic Theory takes most teachers 2 days to teach & she is "bored to tears" because it has taken her over a week to teach & the kids still aren't understanding it.

I guess one of the girls asked if there was another method she could use to teach it because they were having a hard time. Mrs. Smith didn't like that & according to DD (who I know is a dramatic teenage) said Mrs. Smith pretty much called the class stupid & dumb for not understanding what she was teaching.

Now, while I don't think the student should question a teacher's teaching methods, my first thought was also that maybe the teacher should change her method. I know when I'm trying to teach something (dance teacher), if the students are grasping it I have to change the way I'm teaching it.

I guess I'm wondering if all of this is worth even thinking about.

Thoughts................let it go...................speak with the teacher.............speak with DD's counselor & ask how DD should work with teacher when she is difficult?

I'm not looking to be flamed & hear that my DD needs to grow up. I'm just wondering what others think of this & if I'm reading too much in to it.

 

[SpecialK]

Sounds to me like she's inexperienced based on some of the comments she has made. (The open house comment was completely out of line and wouldn't go over too well with the administration.) When I taught, if no one had over an 80, I questioned myself and absolutely tried different methods.

If it was me, I'd contact her and ask her to clarify some of her previous statements. She may not be receptive, but at least she'll know that you're keeping an eye on things.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Not to be ugly, but I really, really do not like young teachers. DS is in 7th grade and I much prefer those teachers with 2 or 3 decades of experience to those straight out of college.

I think your idea of going to the counselor is a good idea. Going to the teacher doesn't sound like it will result in a favorable outcome. Have you asked your DD for input on how she would like to handle it? Are you friends with any other parents who have kids in that class? If everyone is having problems then it is time for someone (like an administrator) to do some classroom observation or something.

Good luck!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

A phone call will do nothing, your dd is stuck. What are you going to say..."my dd says this class is too hard?". That won't fly so well.

Is this class for the entire year? I would be tempted to hire a tutor to get through it.

If she needs to see the counselor privately I suppose you could do that.

In other words, your dd needs to push hard to pass the class. It is good practice for college. Do what it takes to navigate the class.

My dd is a Senior and has many teachers good/bad/mean. I have always used the situation to "train" my kid how to handle it.

I have to say that it has been very successful. Now my youngest has started middle school, same thing.
It is tears one day and happy the next.

They are making my hair grey.

 

[mom2disprincesses]

i definitely think you should voice your concerns to the teacher and counselor...see what the teacher tells you and call her out on her "methods" give it some time and if it hasn't improved talk to admin. you don't want your daughter to falter in chemistry because of a poor teacher. it just takes one bad teacher to ruin the fundamentals of a subject.

 

[DizneeMommy]

I'd set up a conference with her. Discuss how your DD is doing, voice your concerns in a kind, concerned manner. Ms. Smith sounds like she is immature and has some lofty ideas about what teaching was going to be like--is she a brand new teacher? Any good education professor or veteran teacher will tell you that if your students aren't "getting it" the way you're teaching, to try something new. Also, if no one in her class has above an 80, there's either a problem with the way the material is being taught or the way it's being assessed.

As a teacher myself, I always appreciate it when parents come to me first. Then, if nothing is done, you can tell the counselor/administration that you have already spoken to the teacher to no effect.

 

[Nancyg56]

When my DD was in Jr high school she came home upset, her teacher called her stupid. She had had trouble with her homework, I could not do it either so I asked her brother who had taken the class two years earlier. It made no sense to him either. There was going to be a quiz the next day. DD was a good student, this was unusual. I told her to ask the teacher to go over it again.

I rarely interfered with the teachers, I felt that it undermined them if I did but this rated a call. Teacher was pretty nasty to me on that call and I ended up in his room for a conference. He then denied what he said but insisted on calling DD out of another class. He proceeded to attempt to bully her into admitting she lied. She refused, looked him in the eye and told him he knew what he said. He admitted that he called her stupid. Turns out he was throwing things, slamming desks up against students desks, calling names, belittling students......

He told me this with the explanation that his class was out of control. O asked him why this class did not get this reaction from the other teachers and he had no answer.

For me the name calling is a deal breaker. I insisted that my children show respect to their teachers and anyone else in authority and expected that they would be treated that way in return.

I called the teacher thinking that there was a misunderstanding, I never expected that his behavior was so unacceptable.

I think you should call and ask the teacher what happened. No one should call a child stupid or belittle them or their efforts. If this is what happened the teacher needs to know that you are an advocate for your child in the classroom.

 

[mamacatnv]

We had a very similar problem with Mr. Smith, DS's senior year AP Bio teacher. Mr. Smith was not young or inexperienced but he was very difficult and very stubborn.

We contacted our DS's counselor (with DS's permission) and we asked him to set up a meeting so that we could ask Mr. Smith what we could do to help our DS be successful in his class. Mr. Smith was smitten with that and became so much more helpful with DS and he survived the class.

I too am not crazy about young and inexperienced teachers but they do have to start somewhere. Give them all the support they can get, approach it with a "how can we help you help our DD and you might find a very different attitude"

Good luck.......

 

[mrsv98]

I was a teacher for six years. If I taught a subject and allmy students were doing poorly, I knew it was my fault and looked at ways to reteach. Most new teachers have a mentor, it might be worth trying to find out who that is and having a conversation. That way it is "official" to the Principal and won't rile up Mrs Smith. Barring that, I would right a letter to Mrs Smith, copying the Principal. Use "I" statements or "my daughter" so she doesn't feel criticized.

I would hesitate to meet her face to face because she seems immature and would probably take it badly.

Good luck, dealing with difficult teachers is never fun (of course, I was never difficult! )

 

[Nancyg56]

A phone call will do nothing, your dd is stuck. What are you going to say..."my dd says this class is too hard?". That won't fly so well.

Is this class for the entire year? I would be tempted to hire a tutor to get through it.

If she needs to see the counselor privately I suppose you could do that.

In other words, your dd needs to push hard to pass the class. It is good practice for college. Do what it takes to navigate the class.

My dd is a Senior and has many teachers good/bad/mean. I have always used the situation to "train" my kid how to handle it.

I have to say that it has been very successful. Now my youngest has started middle school, same thing.
It is tears one day and happy the next.

They are making my hair grey.

I usually agree with you but not this time. There is a difference between a child needing to step it up and a teacher calling that child stupid. My DD was very bright, she never gave her teachers any trouble. She was the one volunteering, taking extra classes and staying to help the others. If she was struggling I would have addressed that. Name calling is teaching the child how to behave when frustrated. I don't accept that manner of teaching from an educator.

All of my children are successful adults now, they never accept that they cannot do a job better that expected and have learned that their behavior is an integral part of heir success. They should get that example from their teachers as well as their parents.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

This is where you send the teacher a note which reads... "In my experience as a parent, I've noticed that there are two kinds of teachers; those with experience and those with much to learn. I'm here to help you into the former group."

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I usually agree with you but not this time. There is a difference between a child needing to step it up and a teacher calling that child stupid.

The teacher is calling the class stupid, not her dd. If the teacher had singled her out that is another matter to me.
My dd has had many teachers call them names. So I suppose we are from different areas.

Her PE coach calls them maggots and cusses....Oh how great it is to be back in Missouri.
I have to accept the lower standards here.

 

[Nancyg56]

Her PE coach calls them maggots and cusses....Oh how great it is to be back in Missouri.
I have to accept the lower standards here.

I get the coach thing, my nieces are athletes. I don't even want to know what they were called

 

[MAKmom]

A phone call will do nothing, your dd is stuck. What are you going to say..."my dd says this class is too hard?". That won't fly so well.

Is this class for the entire year? I would be tempted to hire a tutor to get through it.

If she needs to see the counselor privately I suppose you could do that.

In other words, your dd needs to push hard to pass the class. It is good practice for college. Do what it takes to navigate the class.

My dd is a Senior and has many teachers good/bad/mean. I have always used the situation to "train" my kid how to handle it.

I have to say that it has been very successful. Now my youngest has started middle school, same thing.
It is tears one day and happy the next.

They are making my hair grey.

With a new teacher this is not true. Once a teacher has tenor maybe but phone calls & feed back from parents & students are how the schools
weed out awful teachers.

Your child might still be stuck with her but she will at least have the chance to change her teaching style.

 

[scottishduffy]

Honestly,

I agree with a poster who said to approach the teacher to HELP but not to change. Have your daughter ask the teacher if she can see her privately some time. Then, during your daughters meeting with the teacher have your DD talk about how she is having trouble, what she is having trouble with, and ask the teacher for anything she thinks will help.Don't fight grades or try to make the teacher wrong (teacher will get defensive). Have your DD tell the teacher during this private meeting that she is having trouble understanding the material currently. Also ask are there any other resources the teacher would recommend?

This will prepare your DD for how college professors work. She is just a short while away from that! She will make a good impression on the teacher for being responsible, and asking for help, and handling it herself. The teacher may open up much more this way. Especially in a 1-to-1 meeting as opposed to in the middle of class where she may feel attacked or overwhelmed by the students.

However, if you question her teaching or try to change it most likely won't work. This teacher most likely won't change her teaching style. She is going to be rough. Get a tutor for your daughter and help her find ways to work around it. Sometimes, teachers are jerks. If your DD were younger I would probaly say for you to talk to the teacher more.... but your DD is almost college age and there are teachers like this all over college. You have got to learn to work around them. You absolutely must be able to work with a difficult teacher and succeed. Because they will not care one bit if you flunk. Going to them privately and asking for help usually works! I had several difficult teachers and asking for help during office hours always worked. It will be tough for her dealing with the teacher but a good learning experience for things outside of chem.

The only reason I recommending she go alone to the teacher is because of her age. In college she will have to do this with professors on a semi-regular basis. Lord knows in my Master's program we have some jerk instructors and we are expecting to just grin and say "Please, Sir, may I have another!!"
(JK... but almost)

BTW: There are many internet chemistry sites that explain things very easily! Google is wonderful. I have been using the internet to help me understand some of the Physics and BioScience I am taking now. There are some great sites for even tough concepts that explain A LOT. I only manage A's in the sciences by the grace of google. Google books is my *best* friend.

 

[manning]

Question. If all of the class is doing poorly, where is the principal??

Grades are given out quarterly (at least when I was in school) and I would think the principal would be reviewing them. I know if I was the principal I would be asking why the class scores are so low and if the teacher needs some help.

 

[phorsenuf]

Question. If all of the class is doing poorly, where is the principal??

Grades are given out quarterly (at least when I was in school) and I would think the principal would be reviewing them. I know if I was the principal I would be asking why the class scores are so low and if the teacher needs some help.

I agree there. Last year my son flunked English 10. He was put on a waiting list for the summer school class. What does that show you?

 

[creativeamanda]

As a person who has been in education for 15 years, I can say that there is most probably a problem with the teacher's methods. But going straight to administration and not to the teacher first to discuss the issue is not going to win your daughter points in the class, either. I always ask parents who call me (I'm a special education administrator) first if they have called and scheduled a conference with the teacher before I get involved. If the answer is no, then I explain to them that I feel it is most appropriate for them to schedule a conference with the teacher and then if the issues were not clarified, I'd be happy to meet with the parent and the teacher. But going above a teacher's head automatically steps on their toes and puts them on the defensive.

If I were you, I'd call a parent-teacher conference. Ask her when her planning period is, and be prompt in the meeting. Write down a list of concerns. Make sure you emphasize the weaknesses you know your daughter has. Teachers absolutely get frustrated with a "My child can do no wrong" attitude. Also emphasize the strengths your child has and discuss ways assignments can be handled. . .can they be emailed to students weekly so there is a written record? Be honest with the teacher about your concerns, yet calm and not condescending. If things do not improve, then do not contact the guidance counselor. Contact the building supervisor (principal) and ask for a joint conference. Go up the chain of command, and you will have better results. HTH.

 

[MELSMICE]

In other words, your dd needs to push hard to pass the class. It is good practice for college. Do what it takes to navigate the class.

My dd is a Senior and has many teachers good/bad/mean. I have always used the situation to "train" my kid how to handle it.

After open house we spoke to our DD & told her that it is going to be a tough class for her. We have also told all of our DD's that not every teacher will be a favorite & some will just be downright hard to deal with, so I definitely agree with what you're saying.

I agree with a poster who said to approach the teacher to HELP but not to change. Have your daughter ask the teacher if she can see her privately some time. Then, during your daughters meeting with the teacher have your DD talk about how she is having trouble, what she is having trouble with, and ask the teacher for anything she thinks will help.

DD has already stayed after numerous times for extra help in this class. On more than one occasion she has spoken with the teacher individually saying she doesn't understand something. She had planned on staying after today also, which was why I was surprised when she called to say she wasn't.

When I picked her up & asked why she didn't stay after for the extra help she informed me what happened in class. She said the teacher was so mean & nasty that she didn't think it would be a good idea today.

I actually told her she should have stayed anyway, but it was done & over by that time & she couldn't go back to school.

I know some teacher's are tough - we've had our fair share & I fully believe it prepares kids for the real world. I'm just not crazy about Mrs. Smith's comments & belittling the students. I really think if the entire class is below an 80 average then you have to look at the source. There should be at least a few students in each class that excel.

I have always been of the opinion that you get respect if you give respect. I am finding it hard with this teacher at this point.

Also, someone else mentioned if I knew any parents of other kids in the class. Our neighbor's DD is another of her classes & she speaks to them the same. Not sure of their class averages.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That really stinks. What about private tutoring? We have done that for my dd. Math is not her strong suit and frankly a couple of her teachers did not mesh with her learning style.

It really helped my dd. I think in the end she really has toughened up on the teacher's and getting info if she wants.

It is awful to watch your kid hate a class.