Do I let this go or make a phone call? (teacher related)

[scottishduffy]

DD has already stayed after numerous times for extra help in this class. On more than one occasion she has spoken with the teacher individually saying she doesn't understand something. She had planned on staying after today also, which was why I was surprised when she called to say she wasn't.

When I picked her up & asked why she didn't stay after for the extra help she informed me what happened in class. She said the teacher was so mean & nasty that she didn't think it would be a good idea today.

I actually told her she should have stayed anyway, but it was done & over by that time & she couldn't go back to school.

I know some teacher's are tough - we've had our fair share & I fully believe it prepares kids for the real world. I'm just not crazy about Mrs. Smith's comments & belittling the students. I really think if the entire class is below an 80 average then you have to look at the source. There should be at least a few students in each class that excel.

I have always been of the opinion that you get respect if you give respect. I am finding it hard with this teacher at this point.

Also, someone else mentioned if I knew any parents of other kids in the class. Our neighbor's DD is another of her classes & she speaks to them the same. Not sure of their class averages.

That must be really rough for your DD. I remember a High school Anatomy teacher like that. I got the highest grade in the class on our final... I got an F. I had a 68 on that test.

I had a 100% in college level anatomy and a 96% in the master's level but high school level kicked my butt! Woman did not know HOW to teach. She knew the material but not how to teach it. Since your DD has done her part it's time to schedule the conference then. Best of luck to you and DD. Sounds like she will be having to self-teach this year.

Honestly there are some amazing chem sites on the web. Just try looking around. Sometimes having the same concept explained in a slightly different way can make the whole thing *click*. Tutoring can help too!

 

[rgf207]

I think she is on the right track wanting everyone to succeed but is going at it the wrong way. I would think maybe a nice email to the teacher asking her what your DD could do to better understand the class would make the teacher think you are both partners in your DD"s education. Some teacher's teaching styles are vastly different. There are a lot of teacher that are preparing students for college and maybe that is what she is doing. I do agree that some of her comments are wrong and should not have been worded they way they were.

I hope this suggestion helps

 

[clh2]

I'm not bashing teachers, I'm just looking for some thoughts on a situation with my DD.


Following week is open house. A very young Mrs. Smith proceeds to make this statement to parents, "When I went to college I could immediately tell which kids came from private school & who came from public. I am here to raise the bar for your public school children." What the heck does that mean? Why do you say that to parents who have chosen to send their children to a good public school? OK...........whatever. Let me just say the teacher was extremely immature & did not win us over with her attitude.

I know this wouldn't accomplish a darn productive thing... ...so I would never do this...at parent teacher conferences: Mrs. Smith, I know you really favor the private schools, it is too bad you weren't qualified to be teaching at one!

 

[DisneyKT]

You definitely need to talk to her. I know sometimes it is uncomfortable but at least you know where you stand.

Question for everyone, not to change the subject. But I can't ever remember any of my teachers calling me names or the other students. Is this common?

 

[iggbees]

do you know if the teacher was a science major and also if she went to a small liberal arts school?

i am a science grad student now and i also went to a small liberal arts school and let me tell you.

a. women in the sciences feel like they have something to prove. (it bugs the crap out of me!!) i can't tell you how many horribly mean women scientists i've met in my time. they also like talking down to students much more than men do.

b. if she's from a small liberal arts college that could be a reason she's so stuffy and expects a lot from her students. i knew a lot of women like her in college. she seems completely out of touch with how to teach young students. it sounds like she needs to rethink her teaching strategies. it's not college and you don't curve. she needs to realize that. also, some students are just not as good in chemistry as others and those students will do well in other subjects that kids good in chemistry may not. it's just life.

sorry i don't have any advice, i just thought i'd share my experiences with you. good luck.

eta. my boyfriend went to an "exclusive private" school for high school and i went to a "public" school. i'm just as motivated as he is and i know that there were just as many unmotivated students at his school as there were at mine. what type of school you come from means nothing.

 

[Planogirl]

I would ask your daughter how she'd like to handle it first. Then go from there.

I like the idea of contacting the teacher to ask for suggestions on how your daughter might do better. Then the teacher knows you're involved and interested.

 

[MELSMICE]

do you know if the teacher was a science major and also if she went to a small liberal arts school?

I know exactly where she went to school, as she told us at Open House. In fact my oldest DD goes there.

Yes, it is a small liberal arts Jesuit college.

I know this wouldn't accomplish a darn productive thing... ...so I would never do this...at parent teacher conferences: Mrs. Smith, I know you really favor the private schools, it is too bad you weren't qualified to be teaching at one!

Productive or not, it's pretty darn funny!!!

Thanks for all the comments. I'm thinking the best route may be to put a phone call in to the teacher tomorrow to speak with her.

Just say that my DD is a little concerned with her grade & the fact that she feels she is not understanding the material. She knows if she falls behind this early in the year she will have a very difficult time passing the course, blah, blah, blah.

We'll see what happens.

Before doing this I'll speak with my DD to see how she feels about me approaching the teacher.

 

[a1tinkfans]

The teacher is calling the class stupid, not her dd. If the teacher had singled her out that is another matter to me.
My dd has had many teachers call them names. So I suppose we are from different areas.

Her PE coach calls them maggots and cusses....Oh how great it is to be back in Missouri.
I have to accept the lower standards here.

I don't think ANY educator should call a class STUPID, EVER! What a wonderful way to foster hard work
Sounds like INEXPERIENCE to me and I would likely NOT ignore it to the detriment of my child!

 

[cabanafrau]

From reading the situation as you outlined it & what I "know" of you from other posts on this board, I'd say you're right to have your radar up & consider getting involved in the situation yourself. I don't think you're the type of person who routinely wades into these types of situation with your kids & I know I myself have been hands off in the middle & high school years. Talk to your daughter & find out her thoughts & if she has any suggestions to solving this. Unless she has a darn good solution you can get behind, I recommend a parent/teacher conference, most likely with your daughter involved.

With the personality traits you've described, I strongly recommend scripting out your talking points very well, taking extreme care to review them for anything that could conceivably be interpreted as critical or accusatory. Unfortunately this isn't a stand alone curriculum your child can get by without, so you're going to have to find a way for your kid to get the instruction she needs so she can move forward to the next level of classes & then on to college.

Long story short, make the phone call. You can't throw away the entire coursework on a stinky situation like this.

 

[marciemi]

That must be really rough for your DD. I remember a High school Anatomy teacher like that. I got the highest grade in the class on our final... I got an F. I had a 68 on that test.

Reminds me of a college Electrical Engineering class I had. First test handed back - professor told us the class average was a 45. We asked what that meant (thinking there would be a curve), his response was "most of you failed!" I ended up working my butt off in that class to get the only B- he gave (nothing higher). Spent more time on that class than my other 5 classes together, which I got A's in all of. Think there were 2 C's, and a handful of D's, and literally, most of the class failed. Not sure what that was supposed to prove!?

 

[teacups]

Sounds to me like this teachers is "Full of herself" to the max.
Maybe one day in the future when she is a checker at the corner quickie mart, she'll wish she could have cut it at teaching.

 

[becjlek]

Could some of the students in the class form their own study group? They might be able to explain it to each other.

 

[CajunDixie]

I know this wouldn't accomplish a darn productive thing... ...so I would never do this...at parent teacher conferences: Mrs. Smith, I know you really favor the private schools, it is too bad you weren't qualified to be teaching at one!

I think I'd have said that at the time she said it. The whole begin as you mean to go on idea. If someone wants to criticize my child, not to mention their whole school before they've even met them then I would have no remorse in slamming her for the comment about private schools.


As for the OP in our school system the counselor would not be the way to go about helping this situation. A call to the principal or superintendent requesting they observe the teacher's classes for a couple of days would be a better idea. You don't have to go in depth just tell them you have some concerns. Then possibly they would match the teacher up with an experienced teacher in the same field to tutor her in real world experiences.

I know when I was in school a couple times a year the principal would sit in the back of a classroom and "grade" the teacher then at the end would hand out surveys on how we thought the teacher was doing with our class. Now some immature kids just saw it as a big joke but some of us did provide what we considered good feedback. Such as an Algebra teacher I had: his teaching style did not work with me but after his lecture he would let me work one-on-one with one of the brainy guys who somehow got through to my pea brain what the lesson was supposed to teach us. So on my survey I explained that the teacher understood his teaching style didn't work for me but that he had helped me find someone I could understand, thus in my eyes making him a great teacher. 2 years later when I had him again he looked around the room then suggested that a different brainy guy and I sit on the far side of the room so that again I could ask for help without disturbing the rest of the class.

One year after about the 3rd week of school our geometry teacher took a year off after she unexpectantly adopted a child (she thought it would take a few months to get a baby). So we had a brand new just out of college substitute for the whole year. But she at least knew her limits and would either write down our questions that she couldn't answer and take them to the above teacher or occasionally she would switch classes with him to give our class a review day for questions with an experienced teacher. All in all not a good experience for her as a brand new teacher and not for us as a class but somehow we got through it with the help of the experienced teacher.

 

[MELSMICE]

My DD just got home from a required confirmation retreat (what a long day!!!).

Anyway, I spoke with her again & asked if she wanted to go to Mrs. Smith tomorrow, tell her she is concerned about her grade & understanding the material; ask what she can do for help...........can she come in more than she already is? Are there web-sites she can frequent? Should she see a tutor?, etc.

I told her I don't agree with the way Mrs. Smith is handling the class, and I don't think she will be receptive to any type of "bullying", but may be receptive if DD asks her those questions. I told DD not to have any kind of "attacking" tone, just be very sincere.

I asked DD if she was willing to go that route, otherwise I would call her myself if she would like. DD wants to approach the teacher herself first. I'll let her do that & give it a few days.

In the meantime, she has taken her sister's notes from Chem last year & has gone through what they are working on right now (atomic theory). I just don't want her to get behind. She is the type of kid that has a hard time catching up once she gets behind. Not surprisingly, math & science give her a hard time if she starts to falter.

Thanks again for all the suggestions. I don't want to be a "meddling mom". My DD is 16 & has to handle difficult & uncomfortable situations. In the same instance, I don't want to put her in a position where there is a great chance of failure because I didn't step up to the plate & be an aggressive parent.

 

[auntie]

I think I would have contacted an adminstrator regarding the comments Mrs. Smith made regarding public school students at the open house. I think Mrs. Smarty Pants Smith needs to be reminded that it's your tax dollars paying her salary.
Honestly approaching the teacher..good luck, nothing going to change there. I think it's a waste of time. She's full of herself. Likely your daughter is going to have to go to extra help (preferably with another teacher..or tutor.) I would contact her counselor and let he/she know what you feel the situation is in the classroom. I have a feeling they probably have a good idea what's going on already. If the entire class isn't doing well, it won't be long before the counselors are aware of the situation.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

It must be a chemistry thing. Last year DD took Chemistry. It was the worse class she has ever taken. While my daughter understood all the curiculum, she was unable to write the labs as the teacher wanted them... I went to the teacher and she told me, "each year I have girls who are 90's and girls who are 40's, I guess your daughter is a 40". It needs to be noted that my daughter is ranked in the top 5 of her class. She asked me to stay out of it after that and I did. I also supported her no matter what her grade was. She weathered through it and ended up with an 86 on the regents exam. Her lowest ever, but boy was she proud of it.

 

[SomedayI'llBe]

How large is the high school? I just graduated from a large high school, where there were multiple teachers of most subjects, especially the required ones such as chemistry. I had a similar situation with my AP Calculus class- there were two teachers. One I had had earlier in my high school years, and I knew she was an excellent teacher whos teaching style really melded with my learning style. The other teacher I had never had- but her attitudes towards the class just weren't good. I could tell almost immediatly it wasn't going to be a good fit. Math hasn't been my strong suit, so I needed some extra help. I visited at one of the right times like she told us- she wasn't there. This happened on a few other occasions. The final straw was when I had scheduled to retake a test during the morning before school. that morning, I made it to school by 7:30 (a full 1:15 before classes truly started). I waited in front of her door... and waited... and waited... and it was 8:45 and she finally showed up. Obviously couldn't take the test then- I had to be in class! She swore she never said I could take the test then.

I talked to my consular, and we moved my study hall so that I could be in a class with the other teacher. That wasn't easy- we had to get approval from the principal and the other teacher, not to mention a signed not from my parents. Thankfully, that class wasn't full, and I transferred in at beginning of the second quarter. I had a C for the first quarter I spent with the other teacher. I managed to pull of a B average for the semester, and a 4 on the AP exam.

It's not an ideal solution, but if things are that terrible- sometimes, you can swing it.

 

[nannerbadnanner]

I had a college professor like this. He came to our school from a very exclusive, private college and was always telling us that we were terrible in comparison, etc. I had enough one day. I stood up, told him that I was sick of his comments and that I refused to listen to them anymore. I then walked out. I was pulling an A in the class so I could afford to do that. He chased me out the door and apologized which really surprised me. Please tell your daughter to stand up for herself. She may not get an A, but she will get a great life lesson. Bullies need to be stopped.

 

[DenMig]

Hi, a high school chemistry teacher here adding my two cents. Based on your posts the teacher does sound inexperienced. Though atomic theory seems like a simple concept to us chem teachers, you'd be surprised how difficult it can be for students. I try to use multiple teaching styles for the same material. Lecture, hands on activities, visual demo's, computer simulations, even some creative writing on this topic. Each kid has their own strengths and weaknesses and it is our job to keep trying to reach them. I go back to a comment I heard a few years back:

If they don't learn the way you teach, then teach the way they learn.

Unfortunately for your daughter I feel the teaching methods won't change this year in that class. Perhaps the teacher will evolve and your daughter's class may play a role in that, but it is going to take time and the teacher needs to put her ego aside.

I do think you should contact the teacher before you contact the administration. I like the ideas of asking what she can do to be successful. In researching websites this teacher may even come up with some ideas herself.

As for the must be a "chem' thing, it is not. It is a teacher thing. I have had many young women and men who have had great success. My greatest thrill is when they contact me for help on college chem or if they tell me I made science interesting.

Good luck. Your daughter sounds very mature and responsible. She will survive this.

 

[mytwotinks]

I don't think it's a chem thing either. My dd is having this issue in her 5th grade class. I'm getting pretty fed up with her coming home and telling me that he is calling the kids "terrible" over and over.

It really is unacceptable for a teacher to be angry at a class when they don't understand something. If they feel that way, I am thinking teaching isn't the right career for them in the first place.

This is a tough year for us. Honestly, with every other teacher my kids have had, I have been in awe of the patience it takes. The guy we got this year is rediculous. I wouldn't think that it would take a genius to understand that when even your straight a students are unable to get passing grades it just might be your instruction that is to blame.

I don't know what I would do if my dd were 16, but I know that at 10 I will be reporting all of what we are going through to the principal. Good luck. I am actually looking forward to next year when my dd goes to middle school and changes classes. At least that way if she gets another kook, she only has him for 50 minutes at a time.

PS: I am sooooo pro-teacher! It's the jerks that I am against. I hate that these folks get so much attention, but I guess it's just more interesting than posting about how "Mrs. Smith stayed after class for an extra 20 minutes to help my kid." Thank goodness that these creepy teachers are the exception and not the rule!