It was possible that it wasn't a typo.
i was happily envisioning a whole 'whistle while you work' montage
It was possible that it wasn't a typo.
Why not? Insist that it happens. We both work full time and split the chores, home duties. Had I been a house wife, I would insist that he take over some chores upon retirement.You are very fortunate. I’m not holding my breath that that’s going to happen for me though.
Not gonna lie - thought this was possibly about TV "housewives" on Bravo.
I will check it out. I love them all.Lol!!!. Me too! I recently watched the Ultimate Girls Trip 2 (great reality for housewives fans if you haven't seen it)....and that led me back to watching seasons 8-12 on RHONY, which is great reality TV (yes that exists)....so when I saw "do Housewives ever retire?".....I thought of Romana.
I wonder if this is a generational thing. My son-in-law does most of the cooking in his & DD's household. They have a cleaning service.
My husband does most of the cooking. I enjoy cooking together, he primarily is like "you're in the way" lol.I wonder if this is a generational thing. My son-in-law does most of the cooking in his & DD's household. They have a cleaning service.
Totally off topic but I lived in Japan for a while, long time ago so I am sure that things have changed.Nope, I know what you mean. Husband retired 2 years ago and has really interrupted the flow of my routines too.
I wonder if this is a generational thing. My son-in-law does most of the cooking in his & DD's household. They have a cleaning service.
You’re right. My husband is just like his dad was. He never did anything around the house except mow the grass. Never helped with chores or did any cooking. My MIL did absolutely everything for him and she worked full time herself for 25 years plus she had 2 grown sons who lived at home until into their 30’s. They never did anything to help her either. I don’t think the man ever made himself anything to eat. The first time I had dinner at their house I noticed they he never asked for anything to be passed to him. He’d just stare at the dish until somebody asked him if he wanted more. Strange. I got married at 19 and pregnant 4 months later. Couldn’t afford childcare so was a stay at home mom for 15 years until I started working little part time jobs here and there. I was babysitting neighbor kids too. It does seem like my whole life has been nothing but taking care of people. I’ve never had any self esteem so just figure this is my life. We rarely go anywhere or do anything. All my friends have moved away. I’m in a rut. I feel guilty asking my husband to help cause there’s no excuse for me not doing it. I’m not doing anything else. Just tired of doing the same thing day after day. Sorry for the pathetic vent.OP I say this in a genuine way. This is another post of yours discussing things about your husband (the same husband who made plans that didn't include you or for you on your birthday).
Have you sought some counseling? It truly sounds like your husband isn't attentive to the relationship in the same way you are. There needs to be more of a balance between the two of you. Your posts over the threads read like you're shouldering the relationship while he's floating along.
The fact that he thinks you've retired just because he has means he really hasn't been observing all the things you've done over the years.
And when I read the comments relating to your children and their expectations this makes me think you've lived your life pleasing others and doing what you can to meet or exceed their expectations but at what cost? Because it sure seems like you've taken on so much. Have others given back to you??
OP I say this in a genuine way. This is another post of yours discussing things about your husband (the same husband who made plans that didn't include you or for you on your birthday).
Have you sought some counseling? It truly sounds like your husband isn't attentive to the relationship in the same way you are. There needs to be more of a balance between the two of you. Your posts over the threads read like you're shouldering the relationship while he's floating along.
The fact that he thinks you've retired just because he has means he really hasn't been observing all the things you've done over the years.
And when I read the comments relating to your children and their expectations this makes me think you've lived your life pleasing others and doing what you can to meet or exceed their expectations but at what cost? Because it sure seems like you've taken on so much. Have others given back to you??
My husband does most of the cooking. I enjoy cooking together, he primarily is like "you're in the way" lol.
But I plan most of the meals, we ask each other what we want to do for dinner that night so it's a joint decision but it's usually out of a list of recipes (that I've run past him too so even that is a joint decision I've just picked them out and found new ones) picked out for the time period. I ensure we have the ingredients we need and keep track of things (like I know we have leftover pasta sauce in the freezer whereas my husband likely doesn't remember we do). He typically picks up the groceries though on the way home from work once we do a grocery order. When my husband and I do cook together it often shaves the time down because I'll be cooking the meat while he's doing something else. Now I do the dishes for the most part mostly because I got annoyed by the way he loaded it when the dishes wouldn't get cleaned lol.
On the other hand my sister-in-law her boyfriend is Muslim and he does expect her to do all the cooking and to his specifications.
Then again my mother-in-law has done nearly all the cooking in the nearly 15 years I've known her with my step-father-in-law for the most part sitting and watching tv. Only thing he does do is the grilling (mostly steaks) although there's some random things here and there he does. We wish she would let us help more.
My best friend I think her issue was she never really discussed the arrangements so she would cook and place the food in front of her husband who often was just lounging watching tv (wouldn't even discuss what they were having for dinner) then she would complain to me that he would never help out
It seems sorta all over the place. My husband and I def. don't have the whole gendered thing with cooking but it isn't as if I just sit around and do nothing just because he primarily cooks. As with a lot of things in our household I'd say I'm doing a lot of the background stuff. At times that has led to my husband not necessarily seeing things. Like he even said a few months back "sometimes I don't even notice you vacuumed" well that's largely because of the carpet which is blended in colors so may not look vacuumed but it doesn't mean I didn't do it. Or that I keep track of washing the bedding and the towels, etc. In that sense it's not gendered roles that come into play just that many of the tasks I do are background not foreground, the cogs run in the household because of that. Whoever does the tasks I think that can be the gripe and it isn't as if that hasn't come up in our household. Sounds like in the OP's household the cogs are running because of her but who is actually noticing that because I'm not sure her husband or her kids are.