Do any of you adults have parents that show favoritism towards your siblings(longpost

[EsmeraldaX]

My parents have often showed favoritism towards my brother and even my SIL over me. It doesn't bother me though. Personally, I'm glad I can pay my own rent, and handle my own life. My DB and SIL depend way too much on my DP's.

 

[poohtown]

I've had fights with my mother about how she favors my oldest dd, but the really big fights are with my MIL. She has always favored my bil over my dh and everyone sees it. Now she favors his kids over ours. She doesn't see it because she spends the same amount on birthday presents and christmas presents but she is always taking them places, out to dinner, shopping, going to school activities, etc. As far as the babysitting .....wow can you and I talk about this!!!! My niece practically lived with MIL, while my dd wasn't allowed to spend the night till she was 2 years old and that was a "huge inconvenience" for MIL.

I finally figured out why she "favors" them. They need her. They (sil and bil) call her all the time with money problems, marriage problems, children problems, and always ask her advice on everything. DH and I never bother anybody with our problems. But boy does it hurt. I've ranted and raved on this board and to other people for years and your husbands right, it probably won't change. The sad part is the kids see it and they are not as close to her as they could be. It will be interesting if it ever sinks into her head.


After a huge fight over this, she changed for about 1 week then went back to normal. Finally I decided not to let myself get sick over it, now I treat it like a joke (although not really funny). I had to do something because I was getting sick every time I saw her and I caught myself starting to dislike my own nieces like it was their fault.

 

[HoneyPooh]

Been there, done that, feel your pain

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

mrsltg- I am so, so sorry for your loss. And thank you for your well wishes that we will have a child of our own very soon. Lord knows we are chock full and over flowing w/ love to give .

cheyita, you like that line? Don't ask me where that came from but it's making me smile too .


all around for everyone!

 

[doxdogy]

Don't get me started on this subject. While my mother was alive, it was apparent that she favored my younger sister and my older brother over me. Now it seems that my father has decided to carry on with my mother's tradition with my sister. It seems that no matter what she does, he gets her out of trouble. Mind you my sister is 42 years old and can't hold a job. Has been in jail for dui and other numerous things. If there is a crisis in her life, I am suppose to get upset and worry about her. She has caused nothing but trouble for my parents (and me). She even assaulted them (on my birthday) and went to jail for it. My father for some reason thinks he can "change" her. I have already told him that when he is gone, she will get NO help from me. My brother has told him the same. At one time my father wanted her to come back up here and live with him. We told him fine, but we will not be there to break up any arguments between the two of them.

 

[Duchie]

I want to add one important point - my folks and I really do have a great relationship. And they are FANTASTIC to my kids and my DH! It's just that the lion's share of the attention goes to my oldest sis.

 

[4nana]

Transparent <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxdm86744US' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_2_104.gif' border=0></a>

Thank you all for sharing your feelings . I cannot believe some of the stories I am reading and it truly makes my heart heavy . God Bless each and every one of you who have had to deal with and strive to overcome such difficult family relationships and situations. It just breaks my heart .

I am by no means perfect, nor is my family, but, I think I really try to always put my family first. IF I ever behave in any of these manners with our 4 children, their spouses or our 11 grands - I should hope by the grace of God, someone make me aware of my faults, so I can do everything in my power to overcome my shortcomings.

You guys are great and deserve a big group

 

[eeyore0062]

Not now, but when I was little and DB was little, he was the "golden child". He was the 1st boy in many generations of an Italian family.

 

[powellrj]

I found out yesterday that my MIL and FIL took my neice out to dinner for Valentines day and didn't even send my kids a card. My DS has been in Iraq for a year and they have never sent him a letter, card anything. Oh yeah, they did turn his name in to their church so that he did get a christmas package from the church (something he asked us NOT to do because he wanted the packages to go to guys without any family)

 

[txSleepingBeauty]

I have three older brothers. the joke in my family has always been that the last three of us are just "spare parts" for my oldest brother in case anything of his should need replacing. Now that he's had a daughter, all of us are just spares for her.

I think you need to sit down rationnally with your mom and explain your feelings. If it doesn't change then you know for sure how things are and can work on letting it go.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My husband says to just let this go - that they will never change. We've been battling this for years. But still...every time I hear that my mother is helping one of my sisters - it literally hurts my heart! My kids are just as important and love their grandparents just as much as my sisters kids do!

What are your thoughts on this - if any?

My mom and I do get along but my sister is the "favorite" of the family so my sis and I do not have a good relationship because of that.

However my parents have only watched my girls 5 times in their life. They also NEVER came to their events because they work & have no interest. Also they are ALL ABOUT themselves.

BUT HONESTLY....if my mom did NOT come to my son's championship football game and she uttered "I don't like football"...I would have gone off, probably to the tune of well I don't like funerals but I will go to yours! That is just plain RUDE & HURTFUL! That would have broken my heart. I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with someone like that.

Guess what? I am moving to Texas in a few weeks. My family can do their crazy dance without ME!

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

I think you need to sit down rationnally with your mom and explain your feelings. If it doesn't change then you know for sure how things are and can work on letting it go.

I think that this is how I came to the conclusion that I'm done! I've tried talking to her and she just says, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Because I suppose it couldn't possibly be because of anything she does.

My mom and I do get along but my sister is the "favorite" of the family so my sis and I do not have a good relationship because of that.

That is one thing I'm thankful for. My sis and I do have a good relationship inspite of the relationship she has w/ our mom. She's even made comments about how she can see how mom treats my differently and she doesn't have an answer to why. Of course she doesn't approach the subject w/ my mom because that might ruin the relationship she slaved so hard to get. Sometimes it really peeves me that DSis used to get the same treatment from our mom that we all get but now that things are different it's as if she's forgotten. Which I guess is a good thing because if my mom would change tomorrow I would try to forgive and forget. I guess it is bothersome right now that she has forgotten because of how DSis #2 and I feel about her now.